Fwd: The new PREP 8.0 – new videos, modular units and more

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: PREP, Inc. <info@prepinc.com>
Date: Tue, Mar 15, 2016 at 12:21 PM
Subject: The new PREP 8.0 – new videos, modular units and more
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


We've been busy.


But the hard work was worth it!

We took

PREP to a new level.


PREP is always refined and updated based on new research and 8.0 is no exception. In addition to a fresh new look and new videos, facilitators and participants will find a more user friendly curriculum that has been beautifully laid out in full color.

•NEW VIDEOS


NEW Couples -  CLICK HERE to see one of the new videos
NEW Animations  -  MORE Lecture Doodles™


•MODULAR UNITS


Units can be taught independent of each other (12 units at 60 minutes each)

•MORE ACTIVITIES


Designed to engage the partcipants while teaching core themes


CALL to learn more about PREP 8.0

www.prepinc.com


AND BE SURE TO ASK ABOUT PURCHASE OPTIONS
to Fit Your Mission, Schedule & Budget


Couples kits


All the units plus a whole lot more! One kit per couple $50

Build your own


Units available in packs of 10 starting as low as $18 per pack



PREP 8.0 Participant Folders

in kits
12-Hour,  6-Hour or 4-Hour Programs 
PREP, INC
800.366.0166  |   info@prepinc.com   |   www.prepinc.com
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Fwd: Faith and Family Findings

 
 
----------Original Message----------

From: "Patrick Fagan, PhD"
Date: Mar 11, 2016 11:08:58 AM
Subject: Faith and Family Findings
To: "BILLANDPATCOFFIN@VERIZON.NET" <BILLANDPATCOFFIN@VERIZON.NET>
 
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March 11, 2016
FFF

Dear Friends,

Research from around the world repeatedly shows that strong marriages are integral to a well-functioning society. This week’s highlights reiterate the financial and health benefits of married families. You can make a difference in strengthening marriages by promoting “Marriage Education Programs.” Check out our featured Marripedia entry to learn about this effective antidote to family brokenness.

FEATURED ON MARRIPEDIA



Effectiveness of Marriage Education Programs


Dozens of studies have shown that marriage education programs help teach couples communication skills, reduce strife, and minimize future break-up. Read more on Marripedia!



RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS



Single Mothers & Extended Family Support


A report commissioned by PEW Charitable Trusts indicates that single mothers are more likely to rely financially on their social networks, and are more likely to worry about paying for their child’s expenses. Learn more about single mothers on Marripedia.



Hispanic Children in Need

Elizabeth Wildsmith, Director of the National Research Center on Hispanic Children & Families, and colleagues show that Hispanic children in non-intact families are more likely to be in deeper poverty than those in intact families. Read more about the state of the Hispanic family on Marripedia.


Marriage & Cancer Survival

Lori DuBenske, a cancer psychologist at the University of Wisconsin Carbone Cancer Center, explains why married cancer patients are 20 percent less likely to die from the diseases than their unmarried counterparts. Check out other health benefits of marriage on Marripedia.





Sincerely,

Patrick Fagan
Director of the Marriage and Religion Research Institute


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Candidates for Friday Five

1. Being a World Class Grandparent
Chris Gersten




OR

The Next Fifty Years of Marriage







2. 7 Marriage Lessons From the Reagans

Dave Willis










3. 

Six Ways to Help People Change


 Art Markman 







4. Breaking the cycle of absentee fathers


Laura Klairmont








5. Till debt us do part






6. Parenting classes to teach patrons nurturing, confidence

Brooke Leonard






7. Learning about DFS's Work this Year---Annual Report
What were the major research investments of our Division of Family Strengthening in 2015? Explore their annual reportto learn more about their work in six areas: supporting fatherhood, strengthening relationships, nurturing children through families, supporting positive youth development and reducing teen pregnancy, preventing family violence, and cross-cutting research.







8.Attachment Theory Offers This Advice On How To Raise Children Who Aren't Cruel







9. 
Infants and Toddlers
Early school readiness
Birth through age three is a complex but vitally important period of growth. A new report summarizes research about development during this period, highlighting areas that are foundational for later school success. The report, issued by the HHS Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation, was coauthored by university-based researchers and researchers at Child Trends, all of whom are members of the Network of Infant/Toddler Researchers (NITR).
READ MORE





10. How To Keep Money From Messing Up Your Marriage








11. Baumgardner: Taking steps to build a strong marriage

Julie Baumgardner




Thanks Anna!

Fwd: Blog update


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kim Kimberling <kim@iwantanawesomemarriage.com>
Date: Thu, Mar 10, 2016 at 5:03 AM
Subject: Blog update
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Awesome Marriage

Remaining Faithful Part 2 - Infidelity

Last Monday, I gave you some incredible statistics concerning infidelity in the United States.  (If you missed it, check out Monday's blog post.) Infidelity is a huge problem.  Over the years, as a counselor, I have helped couples deal with infidelity.  I did not see it a lot but often enough to be concerned about the issue.  Today, I am almost surprised if a couple comes in for counseling and they are not dealing with infidelity at some level.  In 2011, of all the couples that I saw for counseling, at least 60% came because of infidelity. Five years ago, it was probably 10% and of these couples, 99% of the time, the infidelity was on the part of the husband.  Last year, it was probably 60% the husband and 40% the wife. (I have not run exact stats on my figures but this is a good faith guess.  Besides my mind is a steel trap.)

Why is there so much infidelity?  I know it has been with us since Biblical times (see King David in the Old Testament), but it seems to be more rampant today.  I truly believe it is a product of our culture and the enemy is attacking marriages like never before.

Today, it is very easy to connect with another person.  We have Facebook, cell phones, and email. There are more women in the workforce and therefore more opportunities for contact with other men.  We think nothing of having lunch with a coworker or business associate of the opposite sex.  Yet, sitting across the table from someone and eating and having conversation can be one of the most intimate things that we do.  That is how I fell in love with Nancy!

I also think what we see and hear in the media has affected us.  The Television and the movies are full of stories about affairs and the people turn out 'happier' with their new partner. Pornography is presented as something normal and that it never causes problems in relationships.  We have been desensitized, step by step, over the past few years. We have been presented a distorted picture and fallen for it big time.

Infidelity is killing us one marriage at a time.

Dr. Kim



View in browser »

Fwd: Brand new video podcast for parents!


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Katharine Hill - Care for the Family <mail@cff.org.uk>
Date: Thu, Mar 10, 2016 at 7:30 AM
Subject: Brand new video podcast for parents!
To: Dear Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


No Images? Click here
 

HAVE YOU JOINED THE CONVERSATION YET?

Hurry ... don’t miss out! Hundreds of people have already signed up to receive our short, monthly Parentalk – The Primary Years podcasts. They’re free, they’re fun, and they’re practical. They discuss hot topics and are specifically for parents and carers of primary aged children, aiming to help them do the best job they can at bringing up their children.

Children can often spend a lot of time online, and it can be a great way for them to socialise, explore and have fun. But as with most things, the Internet has both positive and negative aspects, and therefore it can be a source of concern for many parents and carers. One question, for example, is how much onscreen time we should we allow our children to have.

Help is a click away in our next episode: Screen time – learning on the job!’

Click on the button below to listen to Rob Parsons and Katherine Hill as they navigate the challenges of managing and keeping children safe on the Internet.

 

 
 
 

See Our YouTube Video.

 
 
 
Join the conversation

Join Our Facebook Group. 

 
 
 

After you have listened to the podcasts, please write in with any challenges or queries you may have around parenting in the primary years. If we use your question, we will send you a free book by Katharine Hill, UK Director at Care for the Family – If You Forget Everything Else, Remember This – Parenting in the Primary Years.

Make sure you don’t miss an episode by signing up for regular news and updates. You will also receive a 20% discount off your next purchase from the Care for the Family shop!

 
 
 
Care for the Family, Garth House,
Leon Avenue, Cardiff CF15 7RG
 

Fwd: RE-SEND: Upcoming Child-Centered Play Therapy Workshop - April15-16, 2016


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Sat, Mar 5, 2016 at 9:00 PM
Subject: RE-SEND: Upcoming Child-Centered Play Therapy Workshop - April15-16, 2016
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 

Please forward this announcement to colleagues and any list serves you may be on.

Child-Centered Play Therapy Workshop

April 15-16, 2016

Workshop Leader: William Nordling, Ph.D., Member of NIRE's Training Faculty

Location: Bethesda, MD.

Workshop Description: The purpose of this two-day skills training workshop is to provide participants a comprehensive introduction to the Child-Centered Play Therapy Model and to teach participants the principles and techniques for conducting all aspects of Child-Centered Play Therapy with children, from intake through termination.

Intensive Supervised Skills Practice: The workshop emphasizes the building of participants' therapeutic skills through a process that combines lecture, demonstration and supervised practice via participant role-plays and mock play sessions. The number of participants is limited in order to ensure frequent individual supervision when participants practice aspects of the child-centered play therapy process.

Workshop Objectives: Participants will learn how to:

  • Identify the parameters for the appropriate use of play therapy
  • Quickly establish rapport and a strong therapeutic relationship with the child and create the recommended therapeutic atmosphere
  • Facilitate the child's mastery of thoughts and feelings to help eliminate immature and symptomatic behaviors
  • Set and enforce limits in an effective and therapeutic way
  • Identify the major stages of play therapy and accompanying themes
  • Communicate to parents about play therapy and their child's progress and help them and the child terminate therapy

Continuing Education: Upon completion, participants receive 13 CE credits for completing this workshop.

IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the Association for Play Therapy to offer continuing education programs specific to play therapy.  APT Preferred Provider 95-009.
IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists.  IDEALS maintains responsibility for the program and its content.
IDEALS/NIRE has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 5560. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. IDEALS/NIRE is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the Maryland State Board of Social Work Examiners to offer Category I continuing education programs for social workers.
IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for the program and adhering to the appropriate guidelines required by the respective organizations.

Fee: $265 (includes packet of materials)

For further information, please visit our website at www.nire.org.

To register, please download a registration form at www.nire.org or call NIRE at 301-680-8977.



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Fwd: [New post] God's Google Map of Your Life

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: God In All Things <comment-reply@wordpress.com>
Date: Thu, Mar 3, 2016, 4:00 AM
Subject: [New post] God’s Google Map of Your Life
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Benjamin LaBadie posted: "Our first principle and foundation is to serve and delight in God. St. Ignatius of Loyola emphasizes this point in the beginning of his Spiritual Exercises in order that participants may know how uniquely God created them with their personality, talents, "
Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on God In All Things

God’s Google Map of Your Life

by Benjamin LaBadie

Google Maps EarthOur first principle and foundation is to serve and delight in God. St. Ignatius of Loyola emphasizes this point in the beginning of his Spiritual Exercises in order that participants may know how uniquely God created them with their personality, talents, and desires. Once this understanding is savored, Ignatius asks us to reflect on our sin. This reflection is not meant to condemn, but to motivate change. For once we acknowledge how we have not served and delighted as we were created to do, God's grace gives us the strength and joy to do so. In the spirit of these Exercises, let us take time to reflect on our current situation in life so that we may behold God’s loving gaze and mercy.

Mercy is why God became incarnate. Jesus entered into our history and shared our condition so that he can show us his faithful love despite our sins and struggles. God wants to be in kinship with us. As Father Greg Boyle emphasizes, God holds up a mirror to us and tells us that the person you see is exactly who God had in mind when God made you. You are meant to live in this specific time and place. God's love and mercy is revealed to you in your apartment, your commute, your neighbors, your grocery store, your friends, your parish, and your family. Just as Jesus entered a particular time and place, so are you called that you might serve and delight in God and neighbor.

Take time to reflect on how God's mercy has mapped your life within the world. In other words, Google Map your life with a little Ignatian imagination.

  1. Go to Google Maps, and in the bottom lefthand corner click the square that says “Earth.” Then in the right hand corner where you see a “minus” sign, keep clicking the minus sign until you zoom out as far as possible. Ponder the beauty of Earth, the sun, and the stars. What do you imagine that God finds beautiful and good? Feel free to rotate the earth and view it from all 360 degrees.
  2. Then click the “plus” sign once. Rotate the earth but stop and take a look at different regions and imagine the lives of various people in different regions. What joys do you imagine? What suffering? What is God directing you to see?
  3. In the upper left hand corner where the white rectangle says “Search Google Maps,” type in Israel and hit enter. Look at the land where Jesus became incarnate. Imagine him growing up in this area and what his life must have been like. Ponder how specific God’s love is and how he chooses particular locations and people to do God’s will. Feel free to zoom in and out in any other part of the world.
  4. In the upper left hand corner, type your home address, work address, parish address, or city. Ponder how God views your life in this location. How is God proud of you? Is God asking you to change in any way? Is God calling you to something new?

Carry this reflection in your heart and savor the joy and guidance you receive. Come back to the emotions you experience in this prayer—God is speaking to you through them. And know that you are part of God’s tangible salvation in the nitty-gritty of everyday life.

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Candidates for Friday Five

1. A National Portrait of Hispanic Children in Need





2. OnePlusOne Research and Policy Digest – February 2016





3. Family breakdown: Let's concentrate on the data





4. Relate receives funding to provide free counselling to Royal Navy and Royal Marines personnel

Emma Sullivan






5. Babies, Boys, and Men of Color 
October 6 - 8, 2016, Tampa, Florida

Call for Submissions






6. CA: Sex Abuse, Drugs, Lack of Food Pose 'Immediate Risk' to Kids at State-Funded Group Homes (Includes video)
NBC Bay Area - March 01, 2016
A three-month NBC Bay Area Investigation reveals serious health and safety violations at facilities that house over 3,700 abused and neglected children in California.
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Bay-Area-Group-Homes-for-Children-and-Teens-369305871.html






​7. 
Single By Choice: Why Fewer American Women Are Married Than Ever Before






8. Doctors' marriage habits may be contributing to care shortage in rural US






9. Nonprofit View: Marriage and Relationship Education Center creates harmony in families' lives







10. Three Lenses Through Which We View Marriage










11. Marriage and the Heart l February/March 2016





Thanks Anna



Fwd: Marriage Foundation news


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Harry Benson <harry.benson@virgin.net>
Date: Mon, Feb 29, 2016 at 9:25 AM
Subject: Marriage Foundation news
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Modern Marriage
View this email in your browser

Family breakdown: Let's concentrate on the data

This month, BBC2's Victoria Derbyshire show focused on the effects of breakdown on children. Our own Sir Paul Coleridge was invited to interview several families - parents and children - who had experienced  family breakdown. 

The programme is a great watch, not least because of Paul's gentle interview manner but also because of the way, again and again, he brings us back to the data. 

Watch it here - it's the first and last fifteen minutes of the programme.

Family breakdown is such an emotive topic because, as Paul says, 'everybody has a view on it because everybody nowadays has experience of family breakdown'.

The result tends to be that people express their concern about family breakdown but then shrug their shoulders as if it is inevitable and nothing can be done. 

Two of the contributors to the programme say of their respective divorces 'I'm glad it happened' and 'we just decided we needed to be kind to each other' so that the children wouldn't suffer. In other words, it wasn't good but everybody is better off now. 

On the flip side, one of the divorced couples also acknowledge that their daughters 'were used on both sides'. Their daughter then reluctantly admits that 'I still do have a little wish' that her parents were still together. Other contributors talk of still having 'nightmares after my parents divorce' years later and how a stand-off with an ex-partner now means 'I dread my children's future weddings'. 

So, who to believe in this emotive subject? 

'Anecdotes are fascinating,' says Paul. 'But let's concentrate on the data. Family breakdown has a devastating effect on children." 

We have to be compassionate about this subject. But when the data shows that half of our teenagers have experienced family breakdown, that picking up the pieces costs the taxpayer £48 billion and rising, and when children's life chances then become stacked against, we need to treat this subject as a serious public health issue. 

Here are just a few examples of how lone parents and their children are disadvantaged compared to equivalent couple parent families, based on data from the UK Families and Children's Survey (pdf download):

  • 7 times as likely to be in the lowest fifth income group (47% vs 7%)
  • 7 times as likely to be on housing benefit (42% vs 6%)
  • twice as likely to have children whose health is not good (4% vs 2%)
  • twice as likely to have their own health problems (13% vs 7%)
  • twice as likely to have children with behaviour problems (16% vs 8%)

Families will always want to downplay their own experience of family breakdown. And in some cases, that will be justified. But when it affects half of our children, how can that possibly be the case for all, or even most? 

We need to keep concentrating on the data. 

I hope our work encourages you. Don't forget our Key Facts pages are there to help. 

May your own marriage and those around you flourish!

Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation

NEW Women, don't propose this leap day!

Just because he says yes, doesn't mean he's committed 

Continue reading →

NEW Golden anniversary couples 200 times more likely to live for a century than to divorce

Odds of divorce after 50 years are 1 in 1,500 

Continue reading →

NEW Unequal partnerships

Either apply civil partnerships equally or scrap them 

Continue reading →

No trouble! Why our 29th year has been the best

For years, it was the bane of our marriage. But finally, we sorted it.

Continue reading →

The Marriage Gap

The rich marry (and stay together). The poor don't.

Continue reading →

Get married before you have a child: The hard evidence

If there was ever any doubt, our new study based on the best new UK data dispels it. 

Continue reading 

Staying together in a 'hopelessly unhappy' marriage

It's twenty years ago that Kate invited me to a meeting about our marriage ... my most read blog

Continue reading 

marriagefoundation
marriagefoundation
@MarriageF
@MarriageF
marriagefoundation.org.uk
marriagefoundation.org.uk
If you'd like to add your name to Harry's list, just click here to subscribe
As well as Paul's starring role on TV, we put out a couple of fun pieces this month, both of which also have their serious message.

The first piece  - a short report - drew on the model I use for working out divorce rates. It's based on data from Office for National Statistics and looks at what happens to married couples who get married in any given year.

The Sunday Times asked us to put together a table on the odds of couples staying together, depending on how long they'd been married. 

If you download the report, you can check out your own odds!

They start at 1 in 2.6 for couples just married, dropping to 1 in 4 for those married for ten years, 1 in 8 after twenty years, 1 in 25 after thirty years, 1 in 148 after forty years and 1 in 1,479 after fifty years. 

Then we finished the month with an article I wrote for our own Modern marriage blog and also for Huffington Post on why it's not a great idea for a woman to propose on leap day - 29th February. 

This is no unfortunate relic of patriarchy that is best consigned to the bin of history. It's a tradition that gently reminds of our human nature, namely that men's commitment is particularly dependent on buying in for themselves. 

The number one thing I ask my own daughters about boyfriends is "does he fight for you?" This is because if he just 'slides' into the relationship rather than 'decides', then he's probably not that committed and it's likely to end in tears. 

So should a woman propose on leap day?

Only if she is 100% sure that he's really committed and not just going along for the ride. 

The Marriage Foundation is a registered charity.
No 1150453


(If you'd like to support our work, you can make a one-off donation online or a regular donation by contacting our office)

Marriage Foundation in the news
 
The month started with a bit of fun and our model for predicting your odds of divorce, depending on when you got married, It was covered initially by the Sunday Times, and followed by the Sun, Star, Mail, and Telegraph 

Paul appearance in BBC2's Victoria Derbyshire programme prompted follow up in the Sun and Mail.

We also had mentions in Glamour magazine, the Mail, and my piece on leap day weddings for Huffington Post

Since our launch in May 2012, we have appeared on BBC News, BBC Newsnight, Channel 4 and 5 News, ITV This Morning, BBC Radio 4 Today programme and You & Yours, BBC Radio 2 Jeremy Vine, and many other stations. 

Most of our newspaper coverage in the major national newspapers can be found here
 
 
Our latest research papers
 
Our aim is to rebuild confidence in marriage. And there's nothing quite like good solid data and top notch research to dispel myths and help create the conditions for change. Here are a few of our findings, all of which made headlines: 

Vanishing Divorce 
Blog - Report - Sunday TimesTelegraph - Mail - Sun - StarGlamour

Celebrity Divorce 
Blog - Report - Telegraph - Mail - Sun

Happy Families: Men Behaving Better 
Blog Report - Sunday Times - Mail - Guardian - Sun

The Marriage Gap 
Blog - Report 1 - Report 2Sunday Telegraph - Times 
Telegraph 
Daily Mail - Church Times - Libby Purves

The cost to Britain's children of the trend away from marriage 
Blog Report Times 
Telegraph Daily Mail - Guardian

Get married BEFORE you have children 
Blog Report - Sunday TimesTimes - Telegraph - Daily Mail - Herald

One in three children won't spend Christmas with both parents 
Blog Report Times

Better and better off apart 
Blog Report Telegraph 
Daily Mail 

UK lone parent capital of Western Europe 
Blog Daily Mail

The odds of getting married 
Blog Daily Mail - Telegraph

Early marriages stronger for 8th year running 
Press release - Daily Mail

Unmarried parents account for one fifth of couples but half of all family breakdown
Press release - Sunday Times front page

The myth of 'long term stable relationships outside marriage
Press release - Telegraph

A summary of all our findings
can be found here 
 
 
The Times 

'Beating Poverty' (£)
19th August 2014

'Marriage Material' (£)
30th April 2014

We think these lead editorials in the Times are stunning evidence that we are making significant progress.

Read the 'Marriage material' article here (reproduced with permission)

 
Copyright © 2016 Harry Benson, All rights reserved.
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Fwd: My 1,800th column: "Committed Couples - Not Counselors - Save Marriages in Crisis


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Thu, Feb 25, 2016 at 12:06 PM
Subject: My 1,800th column: "Committed Couples - Not Counselors - Save Marriages in Crisis
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>


Editors,

 

This is my 1,800th weekly Ethics & Religion column.  It offers a proven answer to the toughest problem in America – disintegrating marriages.  A column on this answer in 1990 sparked 1,500 requests for more information. 

 

Note I am asking readers to respond to 5 questions if their marriage was ever in crisis.  This is the first time I have taken this step.  I want to quote readers in future columns and in my newest book, which will also be titled: Committed Couples – Not Counselors – Save Crisis Marriages. 

 

Blessings,

Mike McManus

 

Ethics & Religion
February 24, 2016
Column #1,800
Committed Couples - Not Counselors - Save Crisis Marriages
By Mike McManus

 

Has your marriage ever been so troubled that you or your spouse considered divorce? I'm writing a book on how to save marriages in crisis, and would like to quote readers willing to answer the following questions by writing me at Mike@MarriageSavers.org. If you do not want your name used, make up one.

 

1.     What was your marriage crisis? Did you save it?

2.     What did you do, or what did God do, to help?

3.     Did you see a professional counselor? If so, did he/she recommend divorce?

4.     Did you divorce?

5.     If so, are you glad you did? How about your kids?

 

This column will offer a proven solution to the most daunting problem in America - the disintegration of marriage. In 2014 there were 2.26 million marriages, but 1.08 million divorces. This 48% divorce rate is triple that of Britain or France. Further, there's been a 57% decline in the U.S. marriage rate since 1970.

Most pastors refer marriages in crisis to counselors. However, "Covenant Marriage," a book researching 300 troubled marriages who saw a counselor came to a startling conclusion: "Couples who receive marital counseling (during marriage) are substantially more likely to divorce than couples who forego this option...Marital counseling is associated with at least three times higher odds of separation and divorce."

In 1990 I wrote a column about a better answer developed by Rev. Dick McGinnis, an Episcopal priest who asked a question your pastor could ask: "Are there couples here whose marriages have been on the rocks, but who have successfully come off of them - couples who have been in extreme difficulty and have threatened divorce - but who are in recovery? If so, I'd like to meet with you after the service."

To his surprise, out of 180 people in church 10 couples showed up. He confessed to them, "I have more work than I can handle in marriage counseling. There is no way to keep up with it. I prayed about it. What came to me was that I was not to look at the problem, but at the solution."

"That triggered in my mind how Alcoholics Anonymous got started. There were not only two people trying to help each other stay sober, but there were two clergy who got involved - a Catholic and an Episcopalian. Out of it came the 12 steps of AA that have helped millions stay sober.

"I want to meet with you over a period of time to see if there is anything of a common nature you had to do for your marriage to be restored. You'll have to share openly and deeply. It may be embarrassing. But I want to see if God has a way of re-establishing marriages."

The group wrote a foundational principle: "Through other Christians' testimony and personal example, we found hope for our marriage." Susan Smitha explained: "It is the sharing of what is going on in your life with people who have been there and can understand. It makes you feel less like a freak. It takes away the loneliness where you feel you are the only one going through this."

Over the next 18 months they wrote down 16 other M&Ms or "Marriage Ministry" principles common to the recovery of their marriages. Equally important, they began working with other couples in crisis and found the M&Ms transplantable.

What are some other M&Ms? Three are related to a "Commitment to God:"

1.     I experienced God's love and forgiveness.

2.     I made a decision/commitment to love Christ, mate and self.

3.     Once obedient to God we were able to love my His standards, not ours.

 

Lowell Weddington and his wife were not Christians and had enormous problems communicating. "We tried humanistic answers: `I'm Ok. You're OK.' Nothing worked. So we said, why not try God? We went to church and were born again. We realized the Lord really loved us and we began to love ourselves."

Other M&Ms involve a "Commitment to Partner:"

4.     We/I made a decision to stay together.

5.     We/I accepted my mate as he/she is.

 

The most important others were:

6.     I realized the problem was with myself.

7.     I became aware I needed to change, became willing to change, learned what and how to change, and began to change with God's help.

 

Over 5 years, the seven couples met with 40 marriages in crisis and saved 38 of them! I wrote a column about this innovation, sparking 1,500 letters to Rev. McGinnis.

A rewarding response!

Please write your reactions to my questions above and I'll send you all 17 M&Ms.

 

Copyright (c) 2016 Michael J. McManus is President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist.

 

 

 

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Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-978-7108