Candidates for Friday Five

1.Science supports the power of marriage
Mona Charen





2. 2016 Theme: Families, healthy lives and sustainable future





3. Don’t Believe the Hype About Grit, Pleads the Scientist Behind the Concept
 






4. Evidence based programs  with Dr. Kristen Anderson Moore

May 18, 2016

2:00 pm to 3:30 pm (ET)






5. HDFS faculty member moderates panel on economics of preventive interventions






6. Marriage and Family Research Institute Offers Free Relationship Education






7. Are you in the American middle class? Find out with our income calculator

 RICHARD FRY AND RAKESH KOCHHAR






8. Does marriage alone improve cancer survival? Taking a closer look - 






9. Marriage Matters: Mythbusters — soul mate edition

James and Audora Burg







10. First comes graduation, then comes marriage

By Brooke Morrissy






11. Race, Romance and Nonresident Father Involvement Resilience: Differences by types of involvement

 March 2016 Ronald Mincy Columbia University Hillard Pouncy Afshin Zilanawala





Thanks Anna.






Candidates for Friday Five

1. WHEN MARRIAGE WAS PART OF THE COLLEGE CURRICULUM
ERIN BLAKEMORE  






2. An Early Look at Families and Local Programs in the Mother and Infant Home Visiting Program Evaluation-Strong Start











4. Research and Evaluation Conference on Self-Sufficiency (RECS)
June 1–3, 2016  
The online registration deadline is Friday, May 13, 2016.






5. Communities, relationships influence marriage view for African-American young adults

 Bert Gambini 






Mar 2016 | Justin Dyer, Jay Fagan, Rebecca Kaufman, Jessica Pearson, Natasha Cabrera

The Fatherhood Research and Practice Network Coparenting Relationship Scale is designed to assess fathers' coparenting relationships with the mother of their non-residential children. The measure was validated with a sample of fathers very similar to those served in U.S. responsible fatherhood programs. Click here to view the measure. A scoring guide can be found here. Detailed psychometric findings are available upon request (jfagan@temple.edu).







7. Family Strengthening Scholars





8. MEDIAN AGE AT FIRST MARRIAGE, 2014





9. Spending time together important for strong families

 Elizabeth Buchanan 






10. 10 Things Every Mom Deserves To Hear:






Thanks Anna.  Happy mothers day.

Fwd: Today's ebook deals for you - Nonfiction

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Baker Publishing Group Ebook Deals <webmaster@bakerpublishinggroup.com>
Date: Thu, May 5, 2016 at 9:59 AM
Subject: Today's ebook deals for you - Nonfiction
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


one is FREE! Trouble viewing? Click here.
Welcome to ebook deals from Baker Publishing Group!

If you'd like to see even more great deals, including free ebooks, check out all of our current specials here. Happy reading!
Free!


Create Big Romance on a Small Budget! Tired of the usual dinner-and-a-movie dates? Looking for new ways to connect with your spouse? Energize your marriage by getting out of your normal routine with the help of these 52 creative date ideas. From outdoor dates to out-on-the-town dates, you and your spouse will have no trouble finding the perfect date that fits your mood--all on a $10 budget! Each date includes easy preparation suggestions, tips for the date, talking points to enhance your conversations, and a Great Date takeaway. What are you waiting for?

Download now:



Retailer participation may vary

Deal ends 5/5/2016

Fwd: Exclusive Offer from PREP Inc!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: PREP, Inc. <info@prepinc.com>
Date: Thu, May 5, 2016 at 9:00 AM
Subject: Exclusive Offer from PREP Inc!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com



33% off!-Limited time only!

PREP 8.0 v. 1.3 is our newest curriculum from PREP, Inc. designed to help couples achieve their goals in relationships and family. The curriculum is designed to build on the existing strengths of the couple and add critical life and relationship skills that will help participants to create safer, more stable couple relationships, and by extension, better environments for their children.
PREP 8.0 v. 1.3 was developed with a careful eye on engaged, married and cohabiting couples as well as the burgeoning research literature on fragile and disadvantaged families, which is emerging from several large, important studies around the country. 

PREP Trained?

For a limited time we are offering our PREP 8.0 Leader Pack for $150 plus S+H (a $225 value!) as an exclusive deal for those who have been PREP Curriculum trained!
This is not open to the general public or offered on our website! If you're getting this email this is exclusive to you!
For more information and to take advantage of this opportunity email us at info@prepinc.com or call 800-366-0166!

NOT PREP TRAINED?

UPCOMING PREP 8.0 TRAINING
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Fwd: Marriage Matters - To Everyone - Ethics & Religion Col.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Thu, May 5, 2016 at 12:26 AM
Subject: Marriage Matters - To Everyone - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,810
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>


Ethics & Religion

 

May 5, 2016

Column #1,820

Marriage Matters – To Everyone

By Mike McManus

 

            Marriage is declining in America.  There were only 2,077,000 marriages in 2015 – fewer than the 2,159,000 in 1970 when the population was only 203 million.  If the same percentage were getting married today, there would have been 1.3 million more marriages last year!   

 

            Sadly, a large minority of the population – 44% - say that marriage has become obsolete.  They are wrong.  Marriage has never been more important to everyone.

 

Dr. W. Bradford Wilcox, Senior Fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and a Professor at the University of Virginia, spoke about the importance of God’s first institution to 100 marriage leaders at the Falls Church Anglican congregation recently. 

 

He described marriage in America as “separate and unequal.” The college educated “are more likely to enjoy high-quality, stable marriages” than the less educated. For example, the divorce rate of the college educated is low and falling, dropping from 15% in the 1970s to only 11% in the 1990s.  However, the divorce rate is 36% for both high school dropouts and those who have had some college.

 

Only 6% of recent births to college graduates were to unwed parents, while it was 54% for high school dropouts and 44% for those with some college. “This class divide imperils the well-being of lower-income children who are increasingly likely to grow up outside of a married home,” Wilcox asserted.

 

“There is strong evidence that family change preceded growing economic inequality.  Specifically, the rise of non-marital childbearing and divorce date back to the 1960s, well before economic inequality began growing in the 1970s…All of the increases in child poverty over the last 30-40 years can be explained by changes in family structure.”

 

Two-fifths of children will live in a cohabiting household.  He said those homes are “less stable, have less trust, less sexual fidelity, more violence, and are five times more likely to break up than homes with intact, married parents.”

 

By contrast, married couples “who share a union deepened by time together, a common faith and acts of service and are committed to marriage `till death us do part’ – are more likely to flourish and be faithful to one another. Couples who set aside time to pray together, enjoy markedly high quality marriages,” Wilcox asserted.

 

George Akerlof, a Nobel laureate who is married to Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, states that “Men settle down when they get married.  If they fail to marry, they fail to settle down.”  Many men are transformed by marriage in ways that make them significantly more successful.  Married men earn about $16,000 more per year than single men of the same age!

 

However, why did a marriage divide emerge in the first place?  William Julius Wilson argues that the shift away from an industrial economy towards an information economy has rendered the less educated men less “marriageable.”  That is partially correct.

 

However, Isabel Sawhill, a scholar at Brookings Institution, says this “purely economic theory falls short as an explanation of the dramatic transformation of family life in the U.S. in recent decades.”  There was no great uptick in family instability during the Great Depression when economic dislocation and devastation were much more severe.

 

Wilcox quotes scholarly studies that between 20% - 40% of the growth in family income inequality “is associated with the rise of divorce and of nonmarital childbearing which leaves many children in homes with only one potential income earner.”

 

He also notes that the growing marriage divide is “fueling an historically unusual type of gender inequality in low-income communities.” He cites a study by MIT economist David Autor that poor boys from fatherless homes in Florida are much more likely to be absent from school than are poor girls from homes without fathers. “The fallout of fatherlessness has also hit poor boys harder than poor girls when it comes to school failure, violence and incarceration.”

 

Another factor fueling the low marriage rate in lower income areas is that single mothers have found it easier to get welfare than married families.

 

Finally, there is a surprising element - the decline of weekly church attendance by those without a college degree has been much greater than among the better educated. 

 

Families who pray together, stay together – and those who don’t, don’t.

 

“Marriage is the gold standard for flourishing financially, socially and emotionally – especially for men,” asserts Wilcox. 

 

Curiously, however, very few sermons are preached on the importance of marriage.

 

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord,” asserts Proverbs 18:22.

 

____

Copyright © 2016 Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers, is a syndicated columnist. Past columns can be found at www.ethicsandreligion.com.  Hit Search for any topic.

 

 

 

 

****************************************

Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-978-7105

 

Fwd: May Marriage Monthly: Amoris Laetitia "Bootcamp," the Vocation of Marriage, and more

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: USCCB / For Your Marriage <marriage@usccb.org>
Date: Tue, May 3, 2016 at 1:15 PM
Subject: May Marriage Monthly: Amoris Laetitia "Bootcamp," the Vocation of Marriage, and more
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


What is "Amoris Laetita" and how does it apply to your life? Learn about the joy of love and more in this edition of Marriage Monthly.
Having trouble viewing this email? Click here
For Your Marriage

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marriage monthly
May 2016

Home   Dating & Engaged    Parenting & Family    For Every Marriage    About Catholic Marriage

The Joy of Love   
Amoris Laetitia "Bootcamp"  
 
Join us in reading through chapter 4 of Pope Francis's post-synodal exhortation "Amoris Laetitia" (The Joy of Love). Each day will have a short section of the text and a suggestion of how to live it in your marriage and family life.      
Understanding Catholicism  
The Vocation of Marriage 

When the Catholic Church teaches that marriage is a Christian vocation it is saying that the couple's relationship is more than simply their choice to enter a union which is a social and legal institution.    
Pope Francis Corner 
"Amoris Laetitia": The Joy of Love 

It's here! Pope Francis's prayerful reflections on marriage and the family will give married couples and families much solid guidance in their vocation of love.
Featured Blog: Created and Called into Love   
Jesus, I Trust in You

What are the chances of meeting your future spouse if they live 1,226 miles away? Katie shares her experience and God's hand in meeting Tommy. Read about their journey to each other through trust in Christ.
Book of the Month 
The Thrill of the Chaste 
By Dawn Eden 

Reviewed by Molly Boland 

Dawn Eden's memoir-style book The Thrill of the Chaste sheds light on the struggles of chastity and provides insight into the daily process of conversion of heart in a narrative manner which is sure to be engaging.    
Marriage in the News  
Divorcing with Adult Children:
The Unacknowledged Suffering 











Jane Gordon Julien delves into the unspoken effects of divorce on adult children and the lasting impact on their lives.    
In This Issue
Amoris Laetitia Bootcamp
Understanding Catholicism: The Vocation of Marriage
Pope Francis: "Amoris Laetitia" - The Joy of Love
Featured Blog: Created and Called into Love
Book Review: The Thrill of the Chaste
Marriage Tip of the Month
May 5, 2016: 
Balancing preferences in marriage can be tough. Never speaking your preference might cause resentment in you, but never yielding can hurt your spouse. Check in with your spouse to make sure each of you feels heard.  
 
FYM Find Help

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Fwd: E-News Week of 4/25/16

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) <julie@narme.org>
Date: Fri, Apr 29, 2016 at 2:47 PM
Subject: E-News Week of 4/25/16
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


You don't want to miss this year's NARME Summit!!

In This Issue
"I get paid nothing to do everything," Lance had told me last summer. "I come home every day mentally, physically exhausted from the amount of work I've put in, and my checks are pocket change basically.  Read More 
The U.S. military has sent an astonishing 2.7 million service members to Iraq and Afghanistan since 2001.  Read More 
The Nation's Latino Population Is Defined by Its Youth
Hispanics are the youngest major racial or ethnic group in the United States. About one-third, or 17.9 million, of the nation's Hispanic population is younger than 18, and about a quarter, or 14.6 million, of all Hispanics are Millennials (ages 18 to 33 in 2014), according to a Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census Bureau dataRead More
Twelve facts about food insecurity and SNAP
he problem of hunger in America is troubling. One in seven households was food insecure in 2014-meaning that at some time during the year they had difficulty providing enough food for all of their members due to a lack of resources.  Read More 
When you really love someone and they break up with you, it's going to hurt. That can be pretty hard. That's one kind of hard break-up; hard in the emotional sense. In another way, however, it's getting more difficult for break-ups to be hard.  Read More  
Does the Family That Prays Together Really Stay Together?
Closing my three-year-old daughter's door at bedtime, I heard a quiet, "Mommy, will you say one more prayer?" It was a delay tactic that I've heard from other religious parents is a bedtime show-stopper where small children have the upper hand.   Read More
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS THIS YEAR'S NARME SUMMIT!
If you work with couples, families, fathers, youth or singles, make plans now to attend this year's National Association for Relationship and Marriage Education (NARME) Summit in Anaheim, CA. We have been hard at work putting together an amazing line up of plenary speakers along with outstanding pre-summit trainings and Summit workshops in addition to excellent exhibitors.  All we are missing at this point is YOU!  
  • Outstanding plenary speakers including: Howard Markman, Sue Johnson, Jill Murray, Obie Clayton, Ron Deal, Kay Hymowitz, Morgan Van Epp Cutlip, Clay Olsen, and we are pleased to announce that Dr. John Townsend will be our closing plenary speaker this year. 
  • Timely Pre-Summit Trainings for a number of different curricula as well as on topics we all need to be well versed in as we work to strengthen families. 
  • Fantastic workshops to choose from on a variety of topics related to our work.
  • The Summit has been approved for up to 37 CEUs!
  • You won't want to miss this year's networking event at the ESPN Zone and the opportunity to bring the family and visit Disneyland before or after the Summit and other fun places!           
The Anaheim Marriott is a great location.  It is easy access from the John Wayne airport. They have a Starbucks located IN the hotel.  There are many fantastic, reasonably priced restaurants located within walking distance of the hotel.  We have put in a request for fantastic weather.  What more could you ask for?  Register Now and receive the early bird rate!
 
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   

This year at the NARME Summit, Playback Now will be offering a new and exciting package for attendees who want access to download and stream all of the incredible workshops and plenary sessions being offered!
It is the first time we have offered the option to have streaming and download access for a full 12 months, plus all files on a USB Flash Drive AND all access to the past 5 years of NARME Summits at the reasonable price of $195!
If you have not taken advantage of purchasing a Playback Now package in the past or if this is your first time attending the Summit, this is the year to do it.

You can purchase this package when you register here.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  
Check out the Pre-Summit Training opportunities HERE

The event is co-sponsored by R. Cassidy Seminars who has been approved for continuing education for Psychologists, Social Workers, Counselors, and Marriage and Family Therapists.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *    
Interested in advertising and/or exhibiting at the 2016  
Summit?  click here 
When Supporting Your Family Means Leaving It Behind
Most of the great American immigration stories are about people who come here to give their kids a better life. But usually, the life they are making is a life in America. We rarely hear about the people who come here, but leave their families behind. Each year they send billions of dollars in remittances back to their home countries, but they remain. Read More
Many Americans don't argue about religion - or even talk about it
According to Miss Manners, polite people do not bring up religion in social conversations. Of course, if Americans stayed away from all the topics the etiquette columnist deems taboo in polite company - including politics, money, sex, illness and what people are wearing - a lot of dinners would pass by in silence.  Read More
Stay Connected

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 narme.org

Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) |info@narme.org  | http://www.narme.org
P.O. Box 14946
Tallahassee, FL 32317



Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME), P.O. Box 14946, Tallahassee, FL 32317
Sent by julie@narme.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Candidates for Friday Five

1. TRENDS IN MEN'S ECONOMIC CHARACTERISTICS AND MARRIAGE





2. Steps in the right direction: Stepfamily researchers share personal advice on combining households








Geoff Fallon  






4. Study Finds Most Military Families Are Resilient in Face of Deployment







5. Unmarried births are becoming the norm in Western Europe, share falling in Eastern Europe





6. Porn in the Digital Age: New Research Reveals 10 Trends





7. MAN, INTERRUPTING: JSTOR DAILY READS THE NEWS





8. First marriage rates reach all time low, yet our married policy makers don’t think this matters



and/or 






9. What men and women wanted in a spouse in 1939 — and how different it is today






10.  Love in the age of living for ever: could your marriage last 80 years?

Moya Sarner





11. Teen birth rates are at an all-time low. We still don't know exactly why.

Updated by Tara Golshan


 


12. ‘Normal America’ Is Not A Small Town Of White People
Thanks Anna.


Bill

Fwd: PPND Different Views of Forgiveness


    Different Views of Forgiveness

    Different Views of Forgiveness

    By Geoff Fallon

    By Geoff Fallon -

    The Wall Street Journal is not generally a source of information about positive psychology, but a recent article described forgiveness in some detail. Forgiveness is of course an important tenet of positive psychology. The March 21, 2016 issue contained an article entitled The Healing Power of Forgiveness, Things we’ve done – and things done to us – carry tremendous weight. Let them go.

    The article is largely based upon a recent study done at the University of Missouri College of Human Environmental Science that focused upon older adults. This group was chosen because when people grow older they commonly review their lives, which brings up things they feel good about and things they don’t. As the article states, “In the absence of forgiveness, an offense that was committed against us, or some pain that we caused others, can replay in our minds, causing continuing anger or remorse that is a recipe for bitterness and bad health.”

    Views from Medicine and Clinical Psychology

    Interestingly, the article does not cite the work of any positive psychology researchers per se, but nonetheless quotes authoritative sources like Amit Sood, a Professor of Medicine at the Mayo Clinic. Positive psychologists would likely agree with Prof. Sood’s statements that: “When you forgive, it isn’t saying that the other person is right. It isn’t justifying or condoning what the other person did.” Rather, Sood states that forgiveness “is acknowledging that you have decided to forego anger and resentment, and that any future relationship with the offending party will be on your own terms.”

    On the other hand, the article quotes clinical psychologist Janis Abrahms Spring who says it isn’t always possible to forgive. “If the other person isn’t sorry and hasn’t made meaningful amends, the hurt party often can’t and won’t forgive. They are left not forgiving, and hurting and hating.” In this situation Dr. Spring recommends that the hurt party, often with the help of psychotherapy, try to accept the situation on their own terms and recognize the magnitude of the violation but not let the unfairness become obsessive.

    In contrast to the position of Dr. Spring, many positive psychologists would say that even when the transgressor shows neither remorse nor tries to make amends, forgiveness is both possible and, indeed, beneficial to the hurt party.

    Views from Positive Psychology

    In some ways it is easy to understand the reasons why people are reluctant to forgive. Martin Seligman explained that people don’t forgive because: 1) they feel it is unjust to forgive; 2) forgiving is showing love to the transgressor but not to the victim; and 3) forgiveness blocks revenge, which is an emotion many people hold onto tightly. While these reasons appear to be self-evident and understandable, they stem in part from a misconception of forgiveness.

    It is important to understand that forgiveness does not mean re-establishing a relationship with the transgressor or pardoning them. By no means is it excusing their action or minimizing it by looking to extenuating circumstances that may have prompted their act, and it is not forgetting the wrong. An injured party is not forgiving when they feel they want the transgressor to be hurt or miserable, or when they want to stay as far away as possible from the transgressor.

    Even though the natural tendencies mentioned above make it difficult to forgive, there are real benefits to the hurt party when they forgive. McCullough, Bono, Root, and other researchers at the University of Miami found that people who forgive score lower on measures of anxiety, depression and hostility, and at the same time have more positive emotions and fewer negative emotions. Even victims of crimes benefit from forgiving the criminal. Victims who participated in face-to-face restorative justice conferences with the criminal perpetrator were 23 times more likely to feel they received an apology than those who did not participate in such a conference, and were four times less likely to have a lingering desire for revenge.

    Despite the statements of Dr. Spring that it may be impossible to forgive when the transgressor neither apologizes nor makes amends, it appears to me that the positive psychology approach, which does not require action by the transgressor, is a superior way to deal with the negative emotions the transgressor’s act produced.
     


     

    References

    Bono, G., Root, L., & McCullough, M. (2007). Forgiveness, feeling connected to others, and well-being: Two longitudinal studies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 20(10), 1-14. DOI: 10.1177/0146167207310025

    Cole, D. (2016, March 21). The Healing Power of Forgiveness, Things we’ve done – and things done to us – carry tremendous weight. Let them go. The Wall Street Journal, p. R8.

    Ermer, A.E., Proulx, C.M. (2015) Unforgiveness, Depression, and Health in Later Life: The Protective Factor of Forgivingness, Aging and Mental Health. Abstract.

    Jewell, L. (2011). Forgiveness or revenge? Positive Psychology News. Also appears in Character Strengths Matter.

    Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. New York: Penguin Books. See page 171.

    McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., Tabak, B. A., & van Oyen Witvliet, C. (2011). Forgiveness. In S. Lopez & C. R. Snyder, The Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology (Oxford Library of Psychology). Oxford University Press. See page 430.

    Seligman, Martin (2002). Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Free Press. See page 77.

    Tandon, P. (20) Who is forgiveness for?. Positive Psychology News. Also appears in Character Strengths Matter.



    Photo Credit
    : via Compfight with Creative Commons licenses
    Letting go of a hope for a better past symphony of love
    Light through the clouds courtesy of John 9:25
    One of the global stones of forgiveness courtesy of kmardahl

    This article first appeared on Positive Psychology News. To see the original article, click here. To comment on this article, click here.

    Geoff Fallon, J.D., LL.M., LL.M., is a retired attorney who has been self-studying positive psychology for three years. He is writing a book entitled 16 Proven Ways to Get Happier at Work: Even When You Can't Change Your Company, Boss, Co-workers or Customers, which is based largely upon positive psychology. Full bio.

    Geoff's articles for PositivePsychologyNews.com are here.


        



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    Candidates for Friday Five

    1.Losing a parent to death or divorce - which is worse? 






    2. Why do couples keep their real lives a secret from friends?

     

     






    3. Distracted Parenting 





    5. WHAT WORKS TO ENHANCE INTER-PARENTAL RELATIONSHIPS AND IMPROVE OUTCOMES FOR CHILDREN

    GORDON HAROLD, DANIEL ACQUAH, RUTH SELLERS & HAROON CHOWDRY EDITED BY LEON FEINSTEIN 






    6. “Clear for Takeoff”: Turbulence in Romantic Relationships





    10. RELATIONSHIP EDUCATION YIELDS BROAD IMPACT ON FAMILIES, REVEALS RESEARCH BY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS CALIFORNIA






    Thanks Anna


    Bill