Coffin Corner

From: Bottom Line Secrets [bottomlinesecrets@ebls.bottomlinesecrets.com]
Sent: Wednesday, November 17, 2010 2:11 AM
To: Coffin, Bill (ACF)
Subject: [MARKETING EMAIL]Stop Fighting About Money

Don't Let Financial Fights Ruin Your Marriage

Olivia Mellan

Marital money tensions increase in tough financial times such as these. Even the closest couples don’t always see eye to eye on money matters. Couples argue over what to buy... how much to save... how aggressively to invest... and anything else involving dollars and cents.

 

Most married couples are not as far apart in their financial thinking as they imagine. The problem is that they tend to see only their money differences and ignore the similarities. Rather than judge our partners’ financial beliefs and habits against an objective standard, we tend to consider them in comparison with our own habits -- then cast our partner as our polar opposite. This can make minor differences in opinion seem like major schisms.

 

Example: A wife saves 35% of her salary, while her husband, who has a higher salary, saves "only" 20% of his. Though this husband is a responsible saver by any objective standard, the wife may feel that she is carrying an unfair share of the burden and that the husband is spending too freely.

 

FINANCIAL BATTLE LINES

The first step in overcoming financial friction in a marriage is identifying areas of conflict and the opposing financial roles that each partner is forced into. Here are six common battle lines. Do you see your relationship described here?

 

Spender vs. hoarder. One spouse considers the other an overspender... while the second sees the first as a hoarder or miser. This leaves neither one happy. The spender feels forced to defend or hide purchases... while the hoarder feels saddled with full responsibility for reaching the family’s savings goals. Even if both partners are responsible savers, the one who saves less may be treated as a reckless spender... and when both are spenders, the one who spends less might be cast as hoarder.

 

Money worrier vs. money avoider. The partner who worries more -- or more openly -- about money comes to believe that his partner doesn’t take financial matters seriously. The worrier typically is the partner who handles most of the bill-paying and budget-balancing chores. The other partner believes that the continual worrying about finances adds unnecessary tension to the relationship.

 

Planner vs. dreamer. One partner takes charge of the nitty-gritty details of the family’s finances... while the other acts as visionary, ignoring details and thinking big. These roles could be complementary, but more often they leave partners battling over financial priorities and processes.

 

Example: The planner tries to enforce a detailed budget, while the dreamer makes impulsive purchases that fit the image of how he wants life to be.

 

Money monk vs. money grower. One partner considers money dirty and corrupting, and doesn’t bother investing or seeking raises... while the other believes that earning and saving are worthwhile life goals. Even minor differences here can seem very significant because our basic outlook on money is so closely tied to our core beliefs.

 

Risk taker vs. risk avoider. One partner’s aggressive approach to investing or career planning creates discomfort for the other, who lives in fear that the family’s savings will be lost. When risk takers suffer financial setbacks -- as most have in the past year -- their risk-avoider partners typically blame them for those losses. Risk takers usually are men -- but not always.

 

Money merger vs. money separator. One partner believes that all of the couple’s savings and financial decisions should be bundled together... while the other tries to keep some of his money separate from the other partner’s. Money mergers often consider their partners’ desire for separation a sign of lack of commitment to the relationship. It typically is men who push to merge the family finances.

 

Example: A wife who does not work outside the home inherits money and wants to keep it separate from the family’s money. Her husband is insulted by this request because he has been sharing his income for years.

 

BRIDGING THE MONEY GAP

A four-step plan for avoiding financial fights with your partner...

 

1. Consider financial disagreements with your spouse as relationship inevitabilities, not examples of your partner’s flaws. We tend to dismiss or demean our partner’s financial opinions when they differ from our own. It is these contemptuous responses -- not the financial differences themselves -- that turn disagreements into brawls.

 

Better: Start with the assumption that your partner’s financial thinking is both reasonable and closer to your own than you realize. This keeps things friendly and prevents disagreements from escalating.

 

Examples: Your partner isn’t necessarily a spendthrift just because he doesn’t save as much as you... or a big risk taker simply because he takes more risks than you... or a money avoider simply because he doesn’t fret as openly about recent stock market losses as you do.

 

2. Create an atmosphere that encourages civil discussion of financial matters. Financial differences are more likely to escalate into fights when they’re allowed to fester without discussion. Unfortunately, couples often hesitate to raise financial topics that have led to fights in the past.

 

Better: Establish a framework for calmly discussing financial matters that promotes safety and trust. Set aside 20 minutes each week for a money conversation. During the session, one spouse shares one of his money concerns for two to three minutes, while the other listens and then repeats what was said. The first spouse then speaks again, and the process is repeated until the first spouse is done. After that, the spouses switch roles, and the second spouse goes through the process. It is important to be empathetic and avoid being judgmental or argumentative.

 

Example: Partner 1: "I’m worried that the stock market will continue to decline." Partner 2: "I hear that you are worried about further declines. It is perfectly reasonable to have those concerns considering everything that has happened recently."

 

The more you understand how your partner feels about finances, the more likely you are to sympathize with his feelings, even if you don’t agree.

 

3. Tell your partner what you admire about the way the partner handles money. This positive feedback helps balance the largely negative feedback that most married people normally send their partners about their financial decisions, often without realizing it.

 

Examples: A risk avoider might tell her risk-taking partner that she admires his ability to put up with declines in portfolio value without panic. A hoarder might tell a spender that he admires her generosity and ability to enjoy life.

 

4. Take one action per week that fits your partner’s financial makeup, not your own. When both partners do this, it can help them moderate their financial views and move toward a middle ground. Expect it to feel uncomfortable at first.

 

Example: A spender might cancel a purchase and put the money into an investment account instead. The hoarder partner might agree to a discretionary purchase without complaint.

 

Over time, if you follow the four steps above, you will lessen tension and conflict with your spouse over money.

 

Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Olivia Mellan, a psychotherapist based in Washington, DC, who specializes in couples’ financial issues. She is author or coauthor of five books, including Overcoming Overspending: A Winning Plan for Spenders and Their Partners (Money Harmony). www.moneyharmony.com.

 

From: ACF OPRE News [oprenews@acf.hhs.gov]
Sent: Monday, November 08, 2010 7:57 AM
To: Coffin, Bill (ACF)
Subject: ACF OPRE News (November 8, 2010)

The Administration for Children and Families (ACF), Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation (OPRE) recently released a few reports.

Findings from the I am Moving, I am Learning Implementation Evaluation

OPRE recently released a final report entitled "Efforts to Meet Children's Physical Activity and Nutritional Needs: Findings from the I am Moving, I am Learning Implementation Evaluation." This report includes findings from the implementation evaluation of Head Start programs that participated in the I Am Moving, I Am Learning trainings in Region III in spring of 2006. The study was conducted under a contract to Mathematica Policy Research.  An interim report can be found at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/hs/eval_move_learn/index.html . The final report can be found at:  http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/hs/eval_move_learn/index.html

Supporting Quality in Home-Based Child Care

The Supporting Quality in Home-Based Child Care contract was funded in 2007, through a contract to Mathematica Policy Research, to (1) systematically gather information from the existing research and development initiatives, (2) synthesize the available evidence on home-based care, and (3) propose options for designing and evaluating quality initiatives. ACF/OPRE has posted the following study reports: a literature review, a compilation of brief descriptions of 96 home-based care quality initiatives, a compendium of 23 more detailed descriptions of quality initiatives, a report on design options for home-based child care and evaluations, and a brief on key project findings. The reports can be found at: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/cc/supporting_quality/index.html

Benefit-Cost Findings for Three Programs in the Employment Retention and Advancement (ERA) Project

OPRE released a new report: "Benefit-Cost Findings for Three Programs in the Employment Retention and Advancement (ERA) Project." The project is being conducted by MDRC. The report presents an analysis of the financial benefits and costs of three diverse programs designed to increase employment stability and career advancement among current and former welfare recipients. The analysis focuses on three programs that operated in Corpus Christi and Fort Worth, Texas; Chicago, Illinois; and Riverside County, California. These programs were selected because they increased individuals' employment and earnings.  The report can be found at: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/welfare_employ/employ_retention/index.html

A Year in Head Start:  Children, Families and Programs

As part of the Head Start Family and Child Experiences Survey (FACES), OPRE published a report on findings from the FACES 2006 Cohort.  The report presents findings on outcomes for 3- and 4-year-old children and their families who completed one year in the Head Start program (fall 2006-spring 2007) and on measures of classroom quality based on observations conducted in Head Start classrooms in spring 2007.  The study is being conducted by Mathematica Policy Research. The report can be found at:

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/hs/faces/index.html

Supporting Healthy Marriage - Early Lessons from the Implementation of a Relationship and Marriage Skills Program for Low-Income Married Couples

OPRE released a report from the Supporting Healthy Marriage (SHM) Demonstration Evaluation.  This project is being conducted by MDRC. This report presents lessons from the early operational experience of the eight demonstration programs across the country providing SHM services, which include healthy marriage and relationship education skills sessions and support services to over 6,000 low-income, married couples with children.   The report can be found at: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/strengthen/support_hlthymarr/index.html

The Welfare Rules Databook: State Policies as of July 2009

OPRE released "The Welfare Rules Databook: State Policies as of July 2009."  This databook presents tables containing key TANF policies for each state as of July 2009, as well as longitudinal tables describing various state policies for select years between 1996 and 2009.  Because TANF is a block grant program, this state information is necessary to understand the diverse nature of the program in the different geographic areas.  Questions are included about initial eligibility, benefits, requirements, and ongoing eligibility. The State Welfare Rules Project is conducted by the Urban Institute. The report can found at: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/welfare_employ/state_tanf/index.html

New Grants and Contracts

The Administration for Children and Families (ACF), Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation (OPRE) recently awarded the following grants and contracts.

Subsidized and Transitional Employment Demonstration and Evaluation Project (STEDEP)

OPRE awarded a seven-year contract to MDRC to examine strategies aimed at successfully transitioning individuals from short-term subsidized employment to unsubsidized employment in the regular labor market. These strategies will build upon approaches that have demonstrated empirical effectiveness in previous studies, test new and innovative interventions designed to demonstrate promising program components, and adapt to current policy environments at the federal, state, and local levels. The goal of this demonstration and evaluation is to increase knowledge about the efficacy of programs aimed at helping target populations secure and maintain unsubsidized employment.

Proven and Promising Responsible Fatherhood and Family Strengthening Initiatives - Evidence Review

OPRE awarded a contract to Mathematica Policy Research, Inc. for a one-year project to 1) identify, compile and catalog the evidence on proven as well as promising responsible fatherhood and family strengthening programs and strategies, 2) summarize and synthesize the information for the practice field and 3) document the quality of the evidence.  Products will be designed to be useful to the practice field as resources to aid in the development or refinement of comprehensive responsible fatherhood and family strengthening service models.

Health Profession Opportunity Grants (HPOG) Evaluation Design

OPRE awarded a contract to Abt Associates Inc. to design an implementation, systems and outcome evaluation of the Health Profession Opportunity Grants (HPOG) to serve TANF recipients and other low-income individuals.  This contract will also provide coordination among multiple evaluation activities addressing the HPOG program and provide support for demonstration program management and data collection activities.  The evaluation design activities will be completed in 18 months.  The coordination and support functions will continue through four years.  

Evaluation of Tribal Health Professions Opportunities Grants (ETHPOG)

OPRE awarded a contract to The National Opinion Research Center (NORC) for a four year project to provide a comprehensive process and output/outcome evaluation of the Health Profession Opportunity Grants for Tribes, Tribal organizations, or Tribal College or Universities. The project will evaluate how program implementation, including any adaptations specifically for Tribal populations.   

Understanding the Child-Only TANF Caseload

OPRE and ASPE awarded a grant to Chapin Hall at the University of Chicago for a one-year project to 1) document differences in state policies that affect child-only TANF cases, 2) describe characteristics and dynamics of such cases, and 3) address the programmatic and policy context in which these cases exist.  The project will provide a broad overview of policies, demographic trends, and program challenges, nationwide and in four focal jurisdictions – California, Florida, Illinois, and New York – that account for 40% of all child-only cases. 

National Survey of Early Care and Education (NSECE)

OPRE awarded a contract to the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago in partnership with other research organizations and institutions of higher education to implement the National Survey of Early Care and Education through September 29, 2014. NSECE will gather national data on utilization and availability of early care and education (including school-age care) and provide unique information to understand the extent to which families' needs and preferences coordinate well with providers' offerings and constraints. The experiences of low-income families are of special interest to the study as they are the focus of a significant component of Early Care and Education (ECE) and School Age care (SA) public policy. The NSECE includes three component surveys: a Formal Provider Survey to be conducted with directors of ECE/SA providers including center-based child care, Head Start, pre-K and regulated or registered family child care homes; a Household Survey to be conducted with a parent or guardian of a child or children under age 13; and, a Family, Friend, Neighbor and Nanny (FFNN) Survey to be conducted with individuals who care in a home-based setting for children under age 13 who are not their own. The study also includes a survey of the ECE/SA workforce to be implemented at the same time as the Formal and FFNN provider surveys. The contract includes an option for States to contribute to the study to augment samples in order to conduct state-level estimates.

Study of Early Childhood Care and Education Workforce

ACF OPRE has awarded a contract to the National Academy of Sciences to establish a panel of independent experts to develop a study of the nation's Early Childhood Care and Education (ECCE) workforce.  The primary objective is to provide an adequate description of the ECCE workforce outlining the parameters that define the population and the supports provided for early childhood teachers and caregivers. The task order will consist of the appointment of a planning committee, with reports to be made available to research, policy, and practice communities. The National Academy of Sciences will also convene a planning meeting that will organize and convene a 2-day workshop to examine key topics in the ECCE workforce.

Measurement Development: Quality of Family-Provider Relationships in Early Care and Education

In collaboration with the Office of Head Start, OPRE has awarded a contract to develop a measure that will assess the quality of family-provider relationships in early care and education.  The goal of the project is to develop a measure that will be applicable to the full range of early care and education settings and providers (i.e., center-based, home-based, family/friend/neighbor, etc.) and a diverse array of families with children aged birth to five, and that can be useful in program evaluation for both accountability and program improvement.  The contract was awarded to Westat, with Child Trends as the main subcontractor.  

Development of a Measure of the Quality of Caregiver-Child Interactions for Infants and Toddlers (Q-CCIIT)

In collaboration with the Office of Head Start, OPRE has awarded a new contract, Development of a Measure of the Quality of Caregiver-Child Interactions for Infants and Toddlers (Q-CCIIT) to Mathematica Policy Research, Inc.  The goal of this project is to develop a new measure that will assess the quality of child care settings, specifically the quality of caregiver-child interactions for infants and toddlers in non-parental care. 

Child Care Research Partnerships

The Child Care Research Partnership grants support research on child care policy issues conducted by state agencies, researchers and other organizations in partnership.  Partnerships must include the State agency that administers the Child Care and Development Fund, and at least one member must be a research group.  Two grants were awarded for 2010:

·         The University of Chicago:  Determinants of Subsidy Stability and Continuity of Child Care in Illinois and New York, Principal Investigator Julia Henly

·         Child Trends:  Early Care and Education Choices, Quality and Continuity, for Low-Income Families A Maryland-Minnesota Research Partnership, Principal Investigator Kathryn Tout

Design Options for Home Visiting Evaluation (DOHVE)

OPRE awarded a contract to MDRC for a five-year project to 1) develop study design, methodology, analysis plans, and resource estimates for the Congressionally mandated national evaluation of the new federal home maternal, infant and early childhood visiting program, 2) provide technical assistance to grantees on (a) research and evaluation related to the promising programs specified in the legislation and (b) benchmarks, data systems and continuous quality improvement, and 3) design and/or pilot test at least one measurement tool to capture relevant benchmark domains for which measurement may not yet be fully developed.  The project is being led by ACF in collaboration with HRSA.

10) £100bn cost of broken homes: Tory minister declares children whose parents split are NINE times more likely to commit crime

Children from broken homes are nine times more likely to commit a crime than those brought up in stable families, a senior Cabinet minister has warned says the Daily Mail (and The Daily Express, the Telegraph). Iain Duncan Smith said the collapse of marriage had brought soaring crime rates, doubled the chances of living in poverty and cost the country an astonishing £100billion a year.

The Work and Pensions Secretary accused Labour of undermining marriage and family life and said the country had paid a ‘heavy price’ in deeper poverty, high crime and poor life chances for the children of families that failed to stay together. Mr Duncan Smith’s speech to representatives of Relate was the strongest defence of marriage made by a major government figure in years….

(that was from UK Marriage News)

U.S. figures are here http://familyscholars.org/2008/04/15/the-taxpayer-costs-of-divorce-and-unwed-childbearing/

And The marriage platform http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bs-ed-marriage-20101026,0,5838513.story

 9) Huffington Post Launches Divorce Section: What's Good, What's Bad, What's Puzzling
The Atlantic

And http://www.aaml.org/library/publications/making-marriage-last

And The Effects of Divorce on Children | Health New for USA
By Author
When going through a divorce, parents make a lot of mistakes that can cause long-term damage to their children. Mainly when people who have.

And Honey, I'm Home…
Herald Sun
Source: Sunday Magazine Bad news for lawyers: divorce rates in Australia are at a 20-year low. Just 47000 divorces were granted in 2008 – almost 10 per cent ...

9) Dating/engaged?  Pick one (or more) http://www.foccusinc.com/ and http://prepare-enrich.com and http://www.relate-institute.org/ and http://www.rootedinlove.org/ and Marriage Preparation as Evangelism | Couple Checkup Blog
By Guest Blogger
Strike while the iron is hot” This idiom originated around the 13th century, and was used to describe the work of a blacksmith who would strike a piece.

And The Nassau Guardian
How should premarriage education programs work Premarriage education programs can be in two formats the group or personal format where the couple sees a ...

8) Children put at risk by failure to engage men in protection cases
Children & Young People Now
By Gabriella Jozwiak Social workers are endangering the lives of vulnerable children by failing to engage with men in child protection cases, the Fatherhood ...

And A Life Beyond Reason
Chronicle of Higher Education (subscription)
This essay is from Papa, PhD: Essays on Fatherhood by Men in the Academy, published this month by Rutgers University Press.

And from 1993 Finding time for fatherhood: The emotional ecology of adolescent ...
Descriptions of fatherhood from as recently as thirty-five years ago now strike ..... This means that fatherhood too is taking many diverse forms. In this ...
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cd.23219936203">onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/cd.23219936203/pdf

And 12^th Annual National Fathers and Families Conference: Celebrating Fatherhood, Celebrating Diversity

March 1-4, 2011

The Fathers & Families Coalition of America, Inc. http://azffc.org/Final2011FatherhoodConferenceProgram4.pdf

7) 7 Things I've Learned in 7 Years of Marriage
PsychCentral.com (blog)
By John M Grohol PsyD A little while ago, my wife and I celebrated seven years of marriage. While ours is a good, healthy relationship, it's also had its ...

And 7 Ways to Build Your Marriage | Blogs | NCRegister.com
Nothing builds a marriage like shared goals. Hopefully you and your spouse already ... goals are equally important parts of building a healthy marriage. ...
www.ncregister.com/blog/7-ways-to-build-your-marriage/

6) Author visits KMC to talk about languages of love
The chaplain also echoed Doctor Chapman's thoughts on the role a healthy marriage plays in a deployment. "Positive communication is absolutely key," ...
www.ramstein.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123228761

And http://thingsiwishbook.com/chapter-1/

And http://www.drbilldoherty.org/

And iMOM iSpecialist - Dr. Walt Larimore , M.D.
The Death-Defying Power of Healthy Marriage. The companionship, love, and support provided by marriage are associated with lower mortality for almost every ...

5) 5 Steps to Answering the Question “Should We Get Married?”
By admin
Marriage gives you emotional and economic security. This is only true in a healthy marriage. The high rate of divorce in today's society shows that this is not true for all. Marriage benefits women more than men economically. ...

And SAMHSA's Dialogue Blog and http://www.samhsa.gov/grants/ and http://www.drugfactsweek.drugabuse.gov/

And finance money values « Marriage.com.au
Lifeworks · Marriage Education Institute · Marriage Encounter Weekends · Prepare -Enrich Australia · Relate Well · Relationship – Counselling ...

4) The El Paso Healthy Marriage Project
The El Paso Healthy Marriage Project is funded by a five year U. S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families grant ...

And San Diego Fatherhood Examiner - Family | Examiner.com
Get the latest news and information on San Diego Fatherhood, including local information on Family.

And Marriage Matters making a difference with local couples
The Jackson Citizen Patriot - MLive.com
In the past four years, Marriage Matters Jackson has worked to promote marriage, prepare couples for a healthy marriage and preserve already healthy ...

And Calendar - Yuba-Sutter Healthy Marriage Project
Yuba-Sutter Healthy Marriage Project. Building Healthy Marriages and Strong Families ... Enrich Your Marriage · Marriage Encounters ...

And Pregnancy Care Center to host client reunion tomorrow
News-Leader.com
The course, offered in collaboration with Operation US through the Healthy Marriage Initiative, gives new parents education and tools to build and maintain ...

And Utah Healthy Marriages Initiative – Salt Lake City – Wedding ...
Utah Healthy Marriages Initiative - Search for Utah Healthy Marriages Initiative and other wedding Officiants and Premarital Counseling on Salt Lake City.

3) Happy Couples: 3 Unique Ways to Boost Happiness in Your ...
It's no secret that open, healthy communication and time spent together are good ways to strengthen your relationship. Marriage and relationship experts ...

And  Rate of Black Unwed Mothers Soars to 72 Percent
She wants her babies born as healthy as possible, so Carroll spends time talking to the mothers about how they should care for themselves, what she expects them to do — and why they need to get married. Seventy-two percent of black ...

And 'No Wedding, No Womb'?
Chicago Sun-Times
There is a "Marry Your Baby Daddy Day," founded by a black woman who was left at the altar, and a Black Marriage Day," which aims "to make healthy marriages ...

And - Jay Black's blog
By Jay Black
"16 & Pregnant" tip: There's an inverse relationship between how meticulously he shaves numbers into his hair and his fitness for fatherhood.

And ProQuest Document View - African American marriage: Education ...
African American marriage: Education, equity, and marital satisfaction. by Williams, Maria Shantell, Ph.D., UNIVERSITY OF LOUISIANA AT MONROE, 2010, ...

2) How I stopped nagging my husband
Telegraph.co.uk
'To have a healthy marriage you each have to appreciate the good things about each other and play to each other's strengths. We have family meetings where ...

And

And http://www.google.com/url?sa=X&q=http://www.bettermarriages.org/blog/2010/10/26/strong-healthy-marriage-learn-from-other-couples-dealing-with-the-stresses-of-the-economy/&ct=ga&cad=:s7:f1:v1:d1:i1:lt:e0:p0:t1289090416:&cd=A2dDftRdCCU&usg=AFQjCNHxFDU8UdYug">Strong Healthy Marriage: Learn from other Couples Dealing with the ...
Carol is the emotional glue for her marriage and her extended family. To their credit, they have developed these tendencies into complementary strengths, ...

And BGSU :: National Center for Family & Marriage Research :: Marriage
Building us up stronger: Unmarried parents' experiences in a relationship and marriage education program. Poster presented at the Administration for ...

And FRC's Marriage and Religion Research Institute, led by Dr. Pat Fagan, is a premier venue for the understanding the contemporary American family. As Dr. Fagan notes, "The Marriage and Religion Research Institute (MARRI) organizes data in a form accessible to the lay reader. As the Institute makes clear, the overwhelming majority of social science data supports the premise that the intact married family that worships weekly is the greatest generator of human and social goods and the core strength of the United States, and a norm to be considered again, first for those who worship God, but also for all men and women of good will." Three times annually, MARRI offers a report on its research concerning the American family, which you can access by clicking here.

1) At Dad Camp, guys 'man up' or get the boot
Globe and Mail
In the other: New York psychologist and family therapist Jeff Gardere (“Dr. Jeff”), whose job is to transform them into grown-ups ready to face fatherhood. ...

And Fatherhood Involvement - Surgery :30 | Video Streaming
Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have heal.

And How To Get The Most From The NRFC Library | National Responsible ...
The NRFC Library supports the efforts of the Administration for Children and Families/Office of Family Assistance to promote responsible fatherhood as well ...
www.fatherhood.gov/.../how-to-get-the-most-from-the-nrfc

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By admin
Monthly article pitches, anywhere from 500 to 2000 words in length; Topics on male issues, ranging from basic fitness to fatherhood and everything in between; Pay starts at $50 per page for the first article, and progresses up to $150 ...

And Get Buck Naked With, Or For, Your Spouse!
By Stu Gray
In this latest E-book Buck Naked Marriage, Corey took the time to interview just over 1000 people about what the essentials are in a healthy relationship. The first part of the book covers the top 10 findings. ...

From: First Things First [ftf@firstthings.org]
Sent: Wednesday, November 03, 2010 1:06 PM
To: Coffin, Bill (ACF)
Subject: [MARKETING EMAIL]Avoid the Holiday Rush! | FTF eNews

From: Ozarks Marriage Matters [phyllis@forest.ccsend.com] on behalf of Ozarks Marriage Matters [newsletter@ozarksmarriagematters.org]
Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 2010 5:32 AM
To: Coffin, Bill (ACF)
Subject: [MARKETING EMAIL]OMM News & Notes - November 2, 2010

In This Issue: "My Marriage Isn't Perfect" Getaway Together Marriage Retreat - November 12-13, 2010 Straight Talk from Real Dads  Hitched & Happy - 7 Different Locations in October   Ask Your Relationship Questions

I can see it in some of their eyes when I look at the participants in our Hitched & Happy workshops. They're imagining that my husband and I "have it altogether," so much so that we even teach workshops. They're wondering if they can get to the place where they rarely, if ever, argue. They're looking for heaven at home. I can assure them that their relationship can improve a lot, but if they're looking for something approaching perfect, I can tell them that they'd be wrong. -->

  

  

Check out our new Ask A Question web page where you can send Dr. Baker a question that she just might answer the next time she's on the air with Andy Taylor Wednesday, November 3. -->

 From: Family Ministries [familyministries=archchicago.org@mcsv67.net] on behalf of Family Ministries [familyministries@archchicago.org]
Sent: Monday, November 01, 2010 8:03 AM
To: Coffin, Bill (ACF)
Subject: [MARKETING EMAIL]Marriage Newsletter

Email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. He'd rather be with his friends? by Sally Hanan It was very late. I lay in our half-empty bed worried, angry, and sad because my husband still wasn’t home. Friday night was always his night to go out with friendsâ€"I encouraged it because I wanted him to have his male bonding time and have fun without the feeling that I was stifling him. It was difficult to feel ok when he hadn’t called.  Read more>> Resources Attend a newly married workshop. Enrich your new marriage by attending a two hour workshop in the first year of your marriage. For Your Marriage website Articles and tools to help enrich your marriage. Natural Family Planning Classes A healthy option...for a lifetime of love Connect with us: Like us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Read our blog Watch us on youtube Unsubscribe BCoffin@acf.hhs.gov from this list. | Update your profile  You are receiveing this because You attended or registered for a PreCana or other Family Ministry class, or subscribed to our list using our online list sign-up form. Copyright (C) 2010 Family Ministries of the Archdiocese of Chicago All rights reserved. Family Ministries of the Archdiocese of Chicago 3525 South Lake Park Avenue Chicago, IL 60653 Add us to your address book

From: Dr. M.P. Wylie [drmpwylie@relationship-research-foundation-inc-rrf.ccsend.com] on behalf of Dr. M.P. Wylie [drmp@usrelationships.org]
Sent: Sunday, October 31, 2010 4:25 PM
To: Coffin, Bill (ACF)
Subject: [MARKETING EMAIL]RRF: Couples Class that Can't Be Beat

-->

Relationship Enhancement Skills at Their Best 

---

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10) Restoring the Foundation: Why Marriage and the Intact Family Matter, Christine Kim

9) SHM Early Lessons from the Implementation of a Relationship and Marriage Skills Program for Low-Income Married Couples

And MDRC - Announcement: MDRC Experts Presenting at APPAM Conference ...
... “The Supporting Healthy Marriage Evaluation: Early Lessons from a Relationship and Marriage Skills Program for Low-Income Couples,” by Jennifer Miller, Desiree Alderson, and Virginia Knox

8) Still looking for something to read this weekend ?….88 page Transcript from Wed.am event posted here http://www.brookings.edu/events/2010/1027_fragile_families.aspx

And FREE STOSNY JEALOUSY WEBINAR!!  OCT 30 at 3 pm. Registration: https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/250589406

7)  http://www.afterschoolalliance.org/AA3PM_cities_towns.cfm

America After 3PM: From Big Cities to Small Towns is a special report that takes a fresh look at data from America After 3PM, the most in-depth study ever to explore how America’s kids spend the after school hours.

And Alcohol marketing and youth drinking (R01)  

And Things to Know Before You Say “Go”  http://www.dibbleinstitute.org/?page_id=4690

6) Early and Later Marriage
... couple formation patterns and the transition to marriage, the effectiveness of marriage education, and modern threats to marriage (such as materialism, ...

And Marriage Reasons » First Thoughts | A First Things Blog and http://familyscholars.org/2010/10/28/is-marriage-still-for-everyone/

5) Holiday Stress and Economic Woes Can Be Dangerous to Marriages
PR Web (press release)
Children are more stressed than ever, and parents aren't aware,” explains Dr. Bonnie Dr. Bonnie recommends that parents have healthy and honest discussions ...

And http://www.socialmediacouple.com/marriage-and-family-organizations/  and http://www.marrifrc.org/

4) Marriage Spotlight: Hardwired to Connect - iContact Community
For more information on the Twogether in Texas marriage education program, visit www.twogetherintexas.com and www.luvlasts.com. Hardwired to Connect Plank ...

And Healthy Relationship Program Educator/Trainer - new

OIC of America - Philadelphia, PA

3) Marriage Good For Men pdf documents | ebooks library download
Engaging Men in Marriage Education. For practitioners offering. marriage and relationship education (MRE), this. general belief ... recruiting men for ...

And Operation Us | Why It's Hard to Talk about the Value of Marriage
The Operation Us project provides healthy marriage and relationship education to residents of 29 counties in southwest Missouri.

2)  Most people believe government should be involved in saving ...
By MaritalMediation Staff
Approximately 80% of all respondents agree with public policies to reduce divorce as evidenced by their agreement with the statement a married couple with children “should be required to attend marriage education classes or couple's ...

And Healthy Marriage, Healthy Family on Vimeo
Harmony Adoptions' videos. Harmony Adoptions' videos; Staff Picks. 1. Healthy Marriage, Healthy Family. by Harmony Adoptions. 26 minutes ago ...

And AmeriCorps State and National Grant Competitions  

1) On Post-Marathon Monday, Please, Just Say Congratulations My daughter Trish is running Marine Corps Marathon again (she doesn’t get it from me!)

RaceMate app allows you to track someone running www.marinemarathon.com

And http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00vj34p Tomorrow, 20:00 on BBC Radio 2 (3-5pm EST)

How about those Giants!

Bill Coffin

Special Assistant for Marriage Education

ACF/HHS

370 L’Enfant Promenade, SW Washington, DC  20447

(202)260-1550(o);

Bill.Coffin@acf.hhs.gov

…We, Government Leaders, invite colleagues and citizens from every political party to engage in renewed

efforts to pursue laws and public policies that promote the well-being of marriages and families…(Excerpt from http://www.hamptonu.edu/ncaamp/proclamation/)

A Guide to Low-Cost Curricula and Resources: Marriage and Relationship, Fatherhood and Parenting,
and Financial Education available at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/pdf/curricula_resources_guide_121509.pdf

 http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage 

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage/doc/ACF_Curriculum_Assessment_Guide.doc

http://learning.hhs.gov/elearning/cop.asp

Why Marriage Matters, 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences

#1 Marriage increases the likelihood that fathers and mothers have good relationships with their children.

#26 A child who is not living with his or her own two married parents is at greater risk for child abuse.

http://center.americanvalues.org/?p=7

For previous editions of HM Links & Clips see http://billcoffin.org ,e.g.,

HM Links & Clips (10/21/10) #129 - Coffin Corner
these leaders so that all citizens have access to marriage education workshops . ... And Marriage Education's Roadmap for Relationships - Peter Casier . ...