How to Put Thnx Back into Thanksgiving

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From: Greater Good Science Center <greater@berkeley.edu>
Date: Tue, Nov 20, 2012 at 11:18 AM
Subject: How to Put Thnx Back into Thanksgiving
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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November 2012



Greetings!

Gratitude in SchoolsThanksgiving is coming up--and with it planning, travel, and stress. Need some help feeling thankful?

We've got you covered. First, start using our new, interactive gratitude journal, called Thnx4, designed by experts to help you reap the benefits of gratitude. Learn more below.

Then explore our other new resources for putting the "Thnx!" back into Thanksgiving:
Finally, review our gratitude definition page, which covers what gratitude is, why it matters, and how to cultivate it.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Get Ready for Thanksgiving with Thnx4!

Thnx4.org is a new resource from the GGSC: A guided two-week exercise to make gratitude a daily practice in your life. Launched this month, it 

is part of our three-year project called Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude, funded by the John Templeton Foundation.

 

Thnx4 lets you keep a private journal of the people and things for which you're grateful, and it enables you to share your thanks publicly while reading expressions of gratitude from others around the world. What's more, your participation helps researchers study the causes, effects, and meaning of gratitude. 

 

Click here to get started, or learn more background about the project.

New Job at the GGSC: Marketing Director

The GGSC Small Logo 2011GGSC is hiring! 

 

We're looking for an enterprising and passionate marketing director to help raise public awareness of the GGSC's work. Skill with social media is a major plus; so is a deep commitment to the greater good.

 

Learn more about the position here.

Greater Good Conference with Jon Kabat-Zinn, Kristin Neff, and Others

Practicing Mindfulness & Compassion

7 Articles to Help You Survine Through The Holidays

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Healthy Relationships California <info@relationshipsca.org>
Date: Sat, Nov 17, 2012 at 1:45 PM
Subject: 7 Articles to Help You Survine Through The Holidays
To: "billcoffin68@gmail.com" <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


HRC Holiday Newsletter

Prepping Yourself for "Those" Awkward Holiday Conversations

Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner. While the holidays are intended to be a time for food, family, and wonderful bonding experiences, we know that holiday celebrations rarely go down like a picture-perfect Norman Rockwell painting. For many of us, our holiday family gatherings could be the inspiration for National Lampoon’s "Holiday Vacation" or be the focus for a week of Jerry Springer shows.


You’ve heard the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder”, but when it comes to holiday family gatherings, “distance makes the family conversations grow more and more awkward.”

 

“Are you dating anyone right now?”  “When are you getting married?” When are you going to start having kids?” Naturally, your family members are curious about you and what is going on in your life, but some of their questions can be intrusive or even offensive. How can you handle these questions delicately, without having them invade your sense of privacy?


5 Razones Egoístas Para Dar Gracias a Los Demás

Se ha dicho que, “la gratitud en silencio no le sirve de mucho a nadie.” Con esto en mente, y con el inicio de los días festivos sobre nosotros, asegúrese de ser fuerte y orgulloso con su gratitud a su familia, amigos, colegas y conocidos. Día de Acción de Gracias es el momento del año para dar agradecimientos, recibir gratitud y ser agradecido. Pero mostrar un poco de aprecio tiene un impacto mucho más grande de lo que usted pueda creer.


HRC Staffer Receives Orange County Press Club Award: Best Family and Lifestyle Blog

Lucinda Loveland, a blogger for Healthy Relationship California, has been recognized for her talent and the relationships-supporting messages conveyed throughout her writing.

 

Now both a staff writer and translator for HRC, Lucinda began writing about Relationship and Marriage Education programs and ideas as a student in a Marriage Education class.

 

Along with her husband, Alfred Loveland, the duo embraced the common challenge many couples face, the end of the honeymoon and the beginning of disillusionment.  They sought out help and resources to repair their marriage. Five years later, Lucinda shares what she has learned through her blogs, and the quality of the material she writes and its value for Orange County readers has been recognized through the 2012 O.C. Press Club Award for “Best Family and Lifestyle Blog”.


31 Tweets or Texts to Send Your Partner This Month!

What partner doesn’t want to hear something loving, positive or romantic from their mate on a regular basis?  We all do! In fact, there is a Japanese proverb that says a sweet word will warm three winters. If that’s the case, imagine what a 140-character tweet or short text message could do for you and your mate!


HRC Exceeds Targets-14,601 Served

During our first year under the California Community-Centered Healthy Marriages and Relationships project, HRC served 4,353 youth and 10,248 adults--14,601 people in total! We reached 122% of our first year target.

 

When was the last time you attended a relationships class? Visit our Class Finder and sign-up for a class near you!

 


Upcoming Instructor Trainings

HRC regularly trains new facilitators interested in teaching Relationship and Marriage Education curricula. Our next training (for the World Class Marriage curriculum) will be Dec. 8 and 15 in San Diego. More trainings are scheduled after the first of the year in Mastering the Mysteries of Love and PREP Within Your Reach 8 Hours.

 

For information on these trainings, check out our website.


Your Gift Can Help Prevent a Divorce!

Are you looking to make an end-of-the-year contribution that really makes a difference? Consider making a gift to Healthy Relationships California. While HRC has Federal funding for certain, restricted activities, the relationship needs of marriages and families in our state is great!

 

Your contribution can go a long way to help HRC make more Relationship and Marriage Education classes available to more people in more communities. Please add HRC to your end-of the-year charitable contributions list!  You'll make a big difference to the quality of people's lives.

 

Make an online donation today  >>>


Who is HRC?

California's Go-To Relationship and Marriage Education Resource

Healthy Relationships California (HRC), formerly known as California Healthy Marriages Coalition, is a non- profit organization that provides skills- based Relationship and Marriage Education (RME) programs through its partnering organizations.

 

Over the last five years, more than 125,000 people have attended a RME class sponsored by our organization.


TESTIMONIALS

Impact of RME for Families, Dating Couples, and Teenagers!

“It’s worth one day of your time for a lifetime of tools to aid in the strengthening of one’s marriage. We all need nourishment in how to be a better spouse.”
-Kevin

 

“My boyfriend and I knew our issues were issues we couldn’t resolve on our own. We knew we would continue our same patterns, I wanted new tools to help us. Although we have only attended 3 two hour courses, we have found this program to be incredibly insightful. It is always taught by couples like us who have now learned how to communicate effectively. We are excited to learn more and we understand this takes time."

-Cynthia

 

“This program has been really good for me. I’ve experienced a better relationship with my mom. I have given her a chance to get close to me and forgive her for our past."

-Erika


NEW BOOK CLUB

Find 150 books in our new online store! Something for everyone!


News and Tips

Holidays with the In-Laws (Hitched) >>>

5 Selfish Reasons to Give Thanks to Others >>>

The Turkey Drop: Dumped at the Holidays (TwoOfUs) >>>

5 Ways To Bring Balance To Your Relationship During the Holidays >>>

CONTACT US

1045 Passifora Avenue
Leucadia, CA 92024

email HRC
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Healthy Relationships California Website Facebook

Copyright © 2012 Healthy Relationships California.
1045 Passiflora Avenue, Leucadia, California 92024

Daily Meditation: Intimacy -- November 17, 2012

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Center for Action and Contemplation <cac@cacradicalgrace.org>
Date: Sat, Nov 17, 2012 at 2:01 AM
Subject: Daily Meditation: Intimacy -- November 17, 2012
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Richard's Daily Meditations

La Yole (detail), Pierre-Auguste Renoir, 1875 

INTIMACY

So how do you communicate to others what is inherently a secret? Or can you? How can the secret become “unhidden”? It becomes unhidden when people stop hiding—from God, themselves, and at least one other person. The emergence of our True Self is actually the big disclosure of the secret. Such risky self-disclosure is what I mean by intimacy, and intimacy is the way that love is transmitted. Some say the word comes from the Latin intimus, referring to that which is interior or inside. Some say its older meaning is found by in timor, or “into fear.” In either case, the point is clear: intimacy happens when we reveal and expose our insides, and this is always scary. One never knows if the other can receive what is exposed, will respect it, or will run fast in the other direction. One must be prepared to be rejected. It is always a risk. The pain of rejection after self-disclosure is so great that it often takes a lifetime for people to risk it again.

Excerpted from Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self, pp. 168-169

Prayer:
Loving God, allow me to experience intimacy with you.

 
 
Intimacy: The Divine Ambush -- Richard Rohr and James Finley -- Santa Fe, New Mexico -- April 26-27, 2013

Intimacy: The Divine Ambush
Richard Rohr and James Finley
Santa Fe, NM • April 26-27, 2013

James Finley and Richard Rohr explore how we solve the problem of our separation--separation from each other and from God—by illuminating John of the Cross, Julian of Norwich, and Therese of Lisieux. Discover how God breaks through our defenses in the same seductive way lovers do.

More information and registration

 

 
Support the CAC

 

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Copyright © 2012 Center for Action and Contemplation
1705 Five Points Rd SW, Albuquerque, NM 87105 (physical)
PO Box 12464, Albuquerque, NM 87195-2464 (mailing)
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This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by cac@cacradicalgrace.org |  

Center for Action and Contemplation | 1705 Five Points Rd. SW (phys) | PO Box 12464 (mailing) | Albuquerque | NM | 87195

What Matters is the Marriage Gap - Not the Gender Gap - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,629

November 15, 2012

Column #1,629

What Matters Is The Marriage Gap Not A Gender Gap

By Mike McManus

 

            According to CNN exit polls, what mattered in the election was the gender gap.  Women supported Obama by 11 points while men favored Romney by 7 points.

 

            However, David Usher, President of the Center for Marriage Policy argues, “What matters is not the gender gap, but the marriage gap.”  Married men supported Romney by a big 60% to 38%, and even married women, by 53% to 46%.

 

            By contrast, unmarried men voted for Obama by 56% to 48%, and unmarried women by more than 2-1.

 

            Therefore, if conservatives want to win next time, they need to ask their churches to do a better job preparing couples for marriage, enriching existing ones and saving those in trouble. Conservatives are church members, therefore their voice can be heard.

 

            The agenda for the next few years should be to restore marriage in America. Consider  three steps.

 

            First, create Community Marriage Policies to cut divorce and cohabitation rates.

 

      In Austin, Texas pastors and priests from 252 churches signed a covenant that all would require couples getting married to react to a premarital inventory with 150 statements like these:

 

·         When we are having a problem, my partner often refuses to talk about it.

·         Sometimes I wish my partner were more careful in spending money.

 

They also agreed to train couples in healthy marriages to meet with premarital couples to

discuss the issues.  In addition, the churches held an annual marriage enrichment event.  They also pledged to train couples whose marriages nearly failed, to mentor those in crisis.

 

If one spouse wanted a divorce, but their partner did not, churches helped the committed spouse to take a course with a friend of the same gender, “Marriage 911,” designed to attract back their errant mate.  Finally, if this was a remarriage, with stepchildren, churches agreed to create “Stepfamily Support Groups,” that saved 80% of marriages that usually divorce at a 70% rate.

 

            Result: Austin’s divorce rate plunged 50% in five years. 

 

            Disclosure: my wife and I persuaded the clergy to create that Community Marriage Policy, and have done so in 229 cities to date.  On average, divorce rates fall 17.5% in seven years, and cohabitation drops by a third compared to similar cities in the same state.

 

And in some cities, marriage rates are rising.

 

            Second, change state law to cut the divorce rate. 

 

Americans divorce at the world’s highest rate.  After five years of marriage, 23% of Americans have divorced which is triple the 8% of British or French.  Why?  If a British spouse wants a divorce, but their partner is opposed, the couple must wait five years to get divorced and six years in France.  That allows a lot of time for reconciliation.

 

            By contrast, 25 U.S. states have a ZERO waiting period or only 20-60 days.

 

            Therefore, a Coalition for Divorce Reform calls for a minimum of a one-year waiting period during which the couple would take classes on how to communicate and resolve conflict better.  And if the couple has children, they would have to take a course on the impact of divorce on kids before filing for divorce.  The year’s delay combined with marriage education would slash the divorce rate.

 

            Another divorce legal reform would reward the spouse trying to preserve the marriage with 50% to 67% of child custody time and 60% to 100% of family assets.  Why should a father who abandons his family to run off with a younger woman get half the family assets of a marriage he has destroyed, impoverishing his kids? 

 

            Conversely, most divorces are filed by women, on the assumption they will get custody of the kids.  What if the father got custody and most family assets?  How many would file for divorce?  The divorce rate would plunge.

 

            Third, stop subsidizing cohabitation.  Most out-of-wedlock births are to cohabiting couples. Yet the government gives the mother of an unwed birth Medicaid, food stamps, the Earned Income Tax Credit, housing subsidies, etc. as if she were raising the child alone.  But she has access to the father’s income as if she were married.

 

            That’s why cohabitation has soared 18-fold to 7.6 million couples last year and unwed births are now 41% of all births.  No wonder the marriage rate has plunged. Yet if she marries the father, she loses $25,000 of benefits.

 

            Conservatives: persuade your governor to say in his State of the State Address, “If cohabiting couples with children marry, we will not cut benefits for two years, and then taper them off. The state should subsidize marriage – not cohabitation.”

 

            Let’s rebuild marriage in America!  

Copyright © Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist.

 

 

My new email address is mike@marriagesavers.org

Michael J. McManus
syndicated columnist
"Ethics & Religion"
President & Co-Chair
Marriage Savers
9311 Harrington Dr.
Potomac, MD 20854
www.marriagesavers.org
301-469-5873

FREE Youth Relationship Education Curriculum

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Carolyn Rich Curtis <info@skills4us.org>
Date: Thu, Nov 15, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Subject: FREE Youth Relationship Education Curriculum
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Having trouble viewing this email? Click here
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ConnectionsThrough a grant from Rotary District 5180, the Relationship Skills Center has six instructor manuals and 180 participant manuals for middle and high school aged students. Each school or youth organization can choose from four different curricula. This gift is valued at approximately $600 for each school or youth organization. These materials are FREE.

 

  • Connections: Dating & Emotions helps prepare younger teens for the challenges of early relationships, develop healthy dating practices and build a solid foundation for the future.
  • Connections: Healthy Choices, Healthy Relationships introduces students to the foundations of strong, satisfying relationships.  In 11 lessons, they examine how family and media shape expectations about love and life. They discuss appropriate dating behaviors, bullying, identify and prepare for potential problems.
  • Connections: Relationships and Marriage offers older teens a deeper exploration of the skills required for healthy, stable relationships with family, friends, dating partners, and eventually marriage.
  • Love Notes designed for at risk youth, especially teen parents. Topics include the effects of dating on children, birth control.

 

These courses are fascinating to teens and immediately useful. Key topics include:

  • Self-understanding
  • How relationships work
  • Dating and emotions
  • Dealing with problems
  • Effective communication
  • What to expect from dating and marriage

Designed for use in schools and youth organizations, Connections aligns with national standards and integrates with textbooks. Content is non-religious, non-sexual and based on current research. Lessons are ready to teach and can easily be completed in 40 minute sessions, even with larger classes.

 

This offer is only available through the Relationship Skills Center. Grant requirements: 30 students per instructor manual, teacher is to complete a one page evaluation at the end of the program. Class must be completed by March 1, 2013.

 

For more information, please contact Rose: rose@skillscenter.org or 916.362.1900.

This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by info@skills4us.org |  
Relationship Skills Center | 9719 Lincoln Village Dr. | Suite 503 | Sacramento | CA | 95827

Lasting Love

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Smart Relationships <info@smartrelationships.org>
Date: Thu, Nov 15, 2012 at 1:02 PM
Subject: Lasting Love
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


You are receiving this email because you provided your email address to thinkmarriage.org or Smart Relationships (same people, new name). If you don't want to be on our list, please unsubscribe by going to the bottom of the email. Please don't mark us as spam. We can be prevented from sending any emails to the subscribers who want to hear from us.
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britain's longest married couple reveal their top tips for lasting romance

Article by  of handbag.com
Longest married couple

This is Karam and Katari Chand from Bradford (UK) and they've been married for a staggering 87 years. Yes, you heard us right! 

Amazingly, despite life's many ups and downs, they're still head-over-heels in love and willing to share their wisdom with new couples looking to recreate their long lasting relationship. 

Take a look at Karam and Katari's top advice for keeping the romance alive in your relationship...even on the days when you want to throw something...

Read the rest...


 


If you read the article above, you already know that the secret to their lasting love is their investment of loving kindness and empathy in each other.

The interesting thing about that kind of giving is that the giver benefits just as much as the receiver. When you take the time to do loving acts, you fill yourself with the energy of love. As you are filled with the energy of love, you see yourself as a loving person. As your image of yourself becomes more loving, you naturally choose more loving behavior, and you see the world as a more loving place. You feel better about yourself, your relationships, and the world around you.

Not all partners will respond to this. But a smart relationship brings out the best in both partners.


 

From our e-Course, The 8 Ingredients of a Smart Relationship.

"In order for trust to exist in a relationship, there must be honesty and respect from both individuals, particularly when handling differences." (Smart Ingredient #6, Good Communication)

Click here to see a sample lesson.

A relationship will not make you happy. Another person will not fill the emptiness inside. When you look to another to "complete you", you set yourself up for disappointment.

First, be comfortable in your own skin. Be clear about who you are, what you need, what you like and dislike, what your dreams and goals are. Be comfortable being you before looking for a life partner.

This is not the same as selfishness. Selfishness is the attitude that "I don't care what you need. I'm going to get what I need."

Loving yourself is the attitude that "I'm happy being me, even though I'm not perfect. Let's figure out how to make a happy "we", even though you're not perfect either."

Lasting love comes from a place of strength.


 

Some learn this lesson the painful way. But it's never too late for new beginnings. Scientists have proven that the brain can learn and change at any age.

At Smart Relationships we are working hard every day to help you boost your emotional intelligence and succeed in life and love.


Our mailing address is:
1496 Bellevue Street, Suite 502, Green Bay, WI 54311
Copyright © 2012 | Smart Relationships
All rights reserved.

Peggy Vaughan, Infidelity Expert, Dies at 76 | Fatherhood Channel

Peggy Vaughan, Infidelity Expert, Dies at 76 | Fatherhood Channel
By Seth Eisenberg
Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth" and "Beyond Affairs," died at her home in California on November 8th after a four-year battle with cancer. Her death came on the day CIA Director David Petraeus submitted his resignation.
Fatherhood Channel

Bill

Loving Non-Verbally

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Smart Relationships <info@smartrelationships.org>
Date: Thu, Nov 8, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Subject: Loving Non-Verbally
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


You are receiving this email because you provided your email address to thinkmarriage.org or Smart Relationships (same people, new name). If you don't want to be on our list, please unsubscribe by going to the bottom of the email. Please don't mark us as spam. We can be prevented from sending any emails to the subscribers who want to hear from us.
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Many of the skills we teach have to do with communication. While speaking, listening, and negotiating are important skills, the science of communication tells us that most of what is communicated is non-verbal.

Have you ever had a fight that consisted of re-hashing a fight? During the course of that conversation, someone is likely to use the phrase, "All I said was...." The same words that caused such emotion earlier are repeated verbatim. What is vastly different is the emotional energy behind them. In the end, it's altruism or lack of generosity that creates our experience of the relationship.

To put it simply, a thriving relationship is more a matter of good will than great skill. Much of that good will is communicated non-verbally.


 


When you focus on your partner's faults, you begin to see more and more examples.

Issues do need to be aired and addressed. Habitual avoidance of conflict is the number one predictor of divorce.

But your underlying attitude toward your spouse is felt and expressed non-verbally. To invest in a strong marriage, make a choice to focus what is best about your mate.

Then add the verbal by telling him or her what you see often.


 

Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like? Could you define one if someone asked?

Our eCourse will help you answer "Yes" with confidence. Click here to see a sample lesson.

These actions will build connection between you. But you don't need someon'e else's list. When you take responsibility for the quality of the emotional energy you are putting into the relationship, you will naturally find creative ways to express your love.

Commit to intentionally building the positive connection between you.


 

Paradox #2 from our upcoming eBook, Journey through Paradox.


Our mailing address is:
1496 Bellevue Street, Suite 502, Green Bay, WI 54311
Copyright © 2012 | Smart Relationships
All rights reserved.

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Liz Swanson <lswanson@tangogroup.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 6, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Subject: an interview
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Hello Bill!

You did an interview with me over a year ago. Thank you again. I also met you at a conference but I am sure you have met many people.
I wanted to make sure you got this invitation. We sent it out to lots of people, but I have been looking over the list and there are a few of you I wanted to make sure got it. (Those of you who tend to be innovative.) Anyway, if you have any ideas, or know anyone you think might help you make a great app, read the following:

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships. You can take your ideas and create an app that will be available to use on iphones, ipads and Android phones.
 
The Challenge will take part in two rounds. There is an idea round followed by a production round, with up to $100,000 worth of prizes being given away including a top prize of $25,000. The Challenge has just begun. Get your ideas in early, so you can get feedback and revise them before the idea round's scheduled close on November 15, 2012.

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Liz Swanson <lswanson@tangogroup.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 6, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Subject: an interview
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Hello Bill!

You did an interview with me over a year ago. Thank you again. I also met you at a conference but I am sure you have met many people.
I wanted to make sure you got this invitation. We sent it out to lots of people, but I have been looking over the list and there are a few of you I wanted to make sure got it. (Those of you who tend to be innovative.) Anyway, if you have any ideas, or know anyone you think might help you make a great app, read the following:

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships. You can take your ideas and create an app that will be available to use on iphones, ipads and Android phones.
 
The Challenge will take part in two rounds. There is an idea round followed by a production round, with up to $100,000 worth of prizes being given away including a top prize of $25,000. The Challenge has just begun. Get your ideas in early, so you can get feedback and revise them before the idea round's scheduled close on November 15, 2012.