tag:billcoffin.org,2013:/posts Coffin Corner 2017-11-15T04:08:42Z Bill Coffin tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1205402 2017-11-15T04:08:42Z 2017-11-15T04:08:42Z Candidates for Friday Five


Dr. Scott Stanley


2. What Relationship Researchers and Relationship Practitioners Wished the Other Knew: Integrating Discovery and Practice in Couple Relationships

David G. Schramm, Adam M. Galovan, and H. Wallace Goddard

3. Children’s learning benefits when adults react constructively to failures

Kyla Haimovitz


4. Tinder and Grindr don't want to talk about their role in rising STDs

Updated by Julia Belluz

5. New website helps those affected by growing challenge of online affairs

(AEI video or link to a Deseret News article on Thursday)

7. Penn State researcher looks at new treatment for military personnel with PTSD

Marjorie S. Miller

8. Why getting even may make you feel worse in the long run

Jennifer Breheny Wallace

9. Marriage Matters: Death of the pattern-changer

James and Audora Burg

10. COUNTERPOINT: Cohabitation can be detrimental to a relationship by creating pressure

11. How to Get Rich Playing Video Games Online


Thanks Alysse. 

We are headed to a B&B for 2 days. Thursday is our 49th anniversary.

Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1204143 2017-11-09T03:11:17Z 2017-11-09T03:11:17Z Candidates for Friday Five

    2. In an excellent debate secured by Lord Farmer, members of the House of Lords debated the recently published Manifesto to Strengthen Families.

    3. Thursday, November 16, 2017 | 9:00 am - 10:15 am

    The American family in the age of Trump: Release event for the 2017 American Family Survey


    4. 9 Tips for Keeping Your Relationship Strong and Healthy

    5. The Conversation Every Couple Should Have Before The Holidays


    6. Baseball and America : the 2017 World Series

    By Michael Ego and Frank Schipani

    7. Considering a national paid leave policy


    8. Marriage Matters: What shape is your satisfaction pattern?

    James and Audora Burg

    9. Marriage is a dance of growing together, apart, together

    10. Marriage may help lower dementia risk

  • Where Is Your 'Third Place'?

  • Thanks Alysse!

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1202787 2017-11-02T15:30:47Z 2017-11-02T15:30:47Z Candidates for Friday Five

    Ragni Hege Kitterød and Marit Rønsen

    Version of Record online: 31 OCT 2017 | DOI: 10.1111/fare.12264

    2. Time with family, adults important, especially to children

    3. What We Can Learn from the Best Marriages


    4. Characteristics of Early Marriages

    5. U of I research looks at how certain types of violence in marriage affect co-parenting later

    6. Family and technology focus of 25th annual family symposium

    Kristie Auman-Bauer

    7. Let’s Talk

    Ryan Holeywell 

    8. Shifting the Field to Prioritize Relationship Education for Youth
    Presenter: Alan J. Hawkins, Ph.D., Professor, School of Family Life, Brigham Young University
    When: November 8, 2017. 1 PM Pacific time, 4 PM Eastern.

    9. The milestones in a child’s life are every parent’s agony

    Joanna Moorhead

    10. US: Head Start Prevents Foster Care? To Be Decided
    Chronicle of Social Change - October 30, 2017


    New York Grant Program Aims to Strengthen Families, Reduce Entries into Foster Care

    Devon Ziminski

    Thanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1200980 2017-10-26T00:17:07Z 2017-10-26T00:17:07Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Family Booster holds annual married & singles confab

    Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/10/family-booster-holds-annual-married-singles-confab/

    Olayinka Latona

    2. Relate responds to latest ONS divorce statistics

    3. Healthy Marriage and Relationship Education Programs for Youth: An In-depth Study of Federally Funded Programs

    4. Conflict management may affect a child's well-being

    5. Is marriage obsolete? 4 essential reads

    6. 10 Lessons Learned from 20 Years of Marriage

    Nina Vallone,

    7. Chaplain’s Pulpit: Constant criticism can devastate relationships, marriage
    • Chap. (Maj.) Matthew Atkins 1st Brigade Combat Team

    8. Growing old and kinless in America
    Marcus Roberts

    9. Mental Well-Being Differences in Cohabitation and Marriage: The Role of Childhood Selection

    Brienna Perelli-Harris,Marta Styrc


    Looking to the Future of Work and Family Theory and Research: Some Reflections

    Oriel Sullivan

    10.  2 Dads On The Challenges And Rewards Of Black Fatherhood

    11. Literature and Mental Health: Reading for Wellbeing (SP$=Statement of Participation) 
     The University of Warwick on FutureLearn - October 30 (6 weeks)

    12. Six Ways to Maintain Attachment When Using Daycare
    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1199255 2017-10-18T19:41:22Z 2017-10-18T19:41:23Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Imagining What Houses Drawn by Kids Would Look Like in Real Life

    2. Searching for an Equal Co-Parent: Six Factors That Influence Whether Dad Pulls His Weight at Home

    3. How to Have a Better Relationship

     Tara Parker-Pope @nytimeswell

     Save for Later

    4. How to Help Teenagers Manage Risk

    Jill Suttie


    5. Family members play important role in managing chronic illness


    Children of unfaithful parents are more likely to cheat on their own romantic partners when they ...
    Business Insider

    7. Happier Mealtimes, Healthier Eating for Kids


    Strategic Plan FY 2014 - 2018


    The Marriage Debate


    Living Together Before Marriage Won't Help You Avoid Divorce - Here's Why
    Roland Warren 


    How to Argue with Your Partner in a Healthy Way

    New research suggests that romantic conflict can hurt our health. How do we fight right?


    ​Thanks Alysse​

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1197650 2017-10-11T20:05:46Z 2017-10-11T20:05:46Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. What is Your Phone Doing to Your Relationships?




    Marriage troubles linked to health problems for men: study

     Tony Whitfield, SWNS



    A Man's Health May Rely on Health of His Marriage

    Randy Dotinga HealthDay Reporter
    3. Year-round outdoor play can boost kids’ performance in school

    4. DfE urged to reinvigorate character drive to combat cyberbullying

     Neil Puffett


    Study Shows Couples Planning Retirement Need More Support

    5. This Woman’s Essay About The Sad Reality Of Why Women End Up Nagging Men Is Going Viral


    6. 3 Things You Can Do Right Now to Make Your Marriage Happier

    Jill Sieracki


    Relationships Under Review in New Book ‘The All-or-Nothing Marriage’

    Alexandra Silets

    7. Nonprofit View: MREC helps couples prepare for marriage

    Amy Gilford — Marriage and Relationship Education Center

    8. Dads are often having fun while moms work around the house

    9. Can you afford to get married? In the US, it's increasingly the privilege of the rich

    Lucy Rock



    The Fierce Marriage Podcast

    By Ryan and Selena Frederick

    11. The share of Americans living without a partner has increased, especially among young adults


    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1196277 2017-10-05T20:12:54Z 2017-10-05T20:12:54Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Nine Charts about Wealth Inequality in America (Updated)

    How might we inspire experiences and expressions of gratitude in the workplace?



    The GGSC is excited to announce a new funding opportunity for schools, faith-based groups, and other community-based organizations that want to help parents raise caring, courageous kids. The grants we award will range from $25,000 to $150,000. Our request for proposals will be open until December 11!



    Coping in the Wake of the Las Vegas Shooting, and Incidents of Mass Violence and Terrorism

    NCFR members and staff mourn the loss of life following the Las Vegas mass shooting, now being called the deadliest in modern U.S. history. We give thanks to all the first responders who care for people on the scene of violence and tragedy. For the professionals who work with families in the aftermath of these events, we have gathered resources for helping individuals and families cope, and also to help children understand and process these events. NCFR will continue to update these collections as new materials become available and relevant.

    find resources

    Sharing the parenting duties could be key to marital bliss: study

    ​. ​
    Father engagement from three months strengthens infants’ cognitive development

    Vaheshta Sethna


    Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation

    To bicker less, try getting some more sleep
    Well-rested couples better able to argue constructively, study shows. 

    By Tara Parker-Pope New York Times

    Age Variation in the Divorce Rate, 1990-2015

    2016 ACS 1-year estimates are available in American FactFinder and the API.​


    Marriage as a training ground

    Examining change in self-control and forgiveness over the first 4 years of marriage

    First Published July 24, 2017 Research Article

    2. ​



    ​hanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1194587 2017-09-28T16:12:22Z 2017-09-28T16:44:44Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Parenting and Family Structure After Divorce: Are They Related?

    Bastaits, Kim and Mortelmans, Dimitri
    Journal of Divorce & Remarriage (2017). Published online first DOI:10.1080/10502556.2017.1345200

    Read more http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10502556.2017.1345200?journalCode=wjdr20

    By Maryam Abdullah

    This is a time of intense political partisanship. How can we avoid feeding hate and distrust in our children?



    Mom – and parenting policy – can learn from Dad

    Natasha J. Cabrera

    4. How Did Marriage Become a Mark of Privilege?


    5. What’s behind Declining Male Labor Force Participation

    Fewer Good Jobs or Fewer Men Seeking Them?

    Scott Winship


    6. Home Care Aides and the Search for Hours


    7. 6 Secrets to a Healthy Marriage (From Old Couples)

    Jon Miltimore


    8. What Are You Reading…On Marriage

     Nathan Eckstrand


    9. Playgroups in Australia: building the evidence base


    10. Since 2013, minorities and Americans without high school diplomas showed greatest gains in wealth, Federal Reserve report shows

    11. Millennials, marriage, and the ‘success sequence’




    Jenna Jonaitis


    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1192933 2017-09-21T22:22:25Z 2017-09-21T22:22:25Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. September 22, 2017

    The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy

    3. US: House Ways and Means advances legislation to reauthorize home visitation program (Press release)
    National Association of Counties (NACO) - September 19, 2017
    On September 13, members of the House Ways and Means Committee voted to advance H.R. 2824, the Increasing Opportunity and Success for Children and Parents through Evidence-Based Home Visiting Act. The bill would reauthorize the Maternal, Infant and Early Childhood Home Visiting Program (MIECHV) Program at its current level of $400 million per year for Fiscal Years 2018 - 2022. H.R. 2824 will require a vote on the House floor and consideration in the Senate before becoming law.




    Couples weather bickering with a little help from their friends

    University of Texas at Austin

    6. CAN   MARRIAGE    BE    SAVED?

    7. Women Know Better What Other Women Think and Feel: Gender Effects on Mindreading across the Adult Life Span

    Renata Wacker1,2*, Sven Bölte3 and Isabel Dziobek2

    EDITED BY Mariska E. Kret Leiden University, Netherlands

    8. Americans see men as the financial providers, even as women’s contributions grow


    Adina Solomon 


    10. Six points on race and culture in America. Camille Busette, Richard V. Reeves, and Eleanor Krause share key takeaways from a recent conversation on race, class, and culture in America with J.D. Vance, author of "Hillbilly Elegy" and William Julius Wilson, author of "The Truly Disadvantaged."

    11. Married, Bored, and Confused
    An all-too-modern look at monogamy.

    Thanks Alysse


    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1191242 2017-09-14T19:06:35Z 2017-09-14T19:06:36Z Candidates for Friday Five
    Fathers learn to relate to their children through CA R3 Academy classes


    ​3. ​
    Why Stinky Socks May Bother Women More Than Men


    4. Parents Building Trust Through Emotional Intelligence

    5. U.S. Commission on Evidence-Based Policymaking Releases Report

    6.      A Manifesto to strengthen Families

    More than 50 Tory MPs and peers are calling on the government to create a cabinet-level families minister post to better co-ordinate family policy across departments. The group, of 44 MPs and eight peers, including former Education Secretary Nicky Morgan, ex-Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith and former children's minister Tim Loughton, also wants a senior minister in all government departments to measure how policies impact on families.


    The group's Strengthening Families Manifesto wants to see a future Families Secretary's cross-governmental brief added to an existing cabinet post, such as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, and backed by its own budget and civil service team. ​

    State-Led Evaluations of Family Engagement: The Maternal, Infant, and Early Childhood Home Visiting Program

    Penn State’s 25th Annual Symposium on Family Issues to be held Oct. 23-24

    0. ​
    New research says this kind of daily prayer can change your marriage
    Calah Alexander

    How Do Close Relationships Lead to Longer Life?

    Technical Specialist – Healthy Marriage and
    ​ ​
    Families (

    Job Number:



    Thanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1189538 2017-09-07T18:43:12Z 2017-09-07T18:43:13Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Japan Is No Place for Single Mothers


    2. Returning to the Rust Belt

    3. The March 2017 issue of Journal of Family Theory & Review is free and open to the public in the Wiley Online Library.


    Call for Papers: Contemporary Perspectives in Family Research

    The Work-Family Interface: Spillover, Complications, and Challenges

    4. Dads influence teen daughters’ decisions on sex

    5.  The deadline has been extended to Friday, September 15th for the Call for Proposals for the 2018 Research and Evaluation Conference on Self-Sufficiency (RECS)! The next RECS will be held May 30 – June 1, 2018 at the Renaissance Hotel in Washington, DC. The Office of Planning, Research, and Evaluation (OPRE) invites proposals for individual presentations and for entire conference sessions. 

    6. Iain Duncan Smith warns government over cuts to relationship counselling

    7. The occupations with the highest and lowest divorce rates in the US



    Partnership shift. Men are now more likely to marry up

    Marc Beaulieu

    A Guy Read 50 Years Worth of Relationship Studies. He Came Up With 17 Strategies

    9. Long hours and longings

    Jennifer Baxter, Lyndall Strazdins and Jianghong Li

    10. Marriage rate down, divorce rate up as more Chinese couples say ‘I don’t’ or ‘I won’t any more’


    China wants to talk its people into marriage and out of divorce

    Echo Huang

    11. Committee on Building an Agenda to Reduce the Number of Children in Poverty by Half in 10 Years

    Thanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1187703 2017-08-31T03:27:03Z 2017-08-31T03:27:04Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. To celebrate the first five years of Marriage Foundation, we have produced an easy-reading four-page briefing (click here to download) that summarises what we've achieved, where we are going next, our most important findings (see column right), and a brief outline of the case for marriage. 

    National Research Summit on Care, Services, and Supports for Persons with Dementia and Their Caregivers
    October 16
    17, 2017 
    ​ &​
    open to the public

    ​. ​
    The Science of Happiness

    A free online course exploring the roots of a happy, meaningful life. Next session starts Sept. 5, 2017.

    Preventing sexual violence starts with what we teach our boys
    Maryjo Oster

    Training benefits families of kids with limited speech

     Andy Henion-Michigan State

    The 'silent epidemic': When your adult child cuts you out of their life
    Zoe Reynolds

    ​. ​
    As the national marriage rate continues to decline, a look at some young people’s decisions to tie the knot despite criticisms


    Sarah Beth Thompson

    ​. ​
    Marriage a Blessing for Heart Attack Patients

    Steven Reinberg


    The 10 counties with the lowest marriage rates in N.J.

    Disha Raychaudhuri | NJ Advance Media for NJ.com

    11. ​
    Do People Who Marry Late in Life Find Happiness?

    ​  Thanks Alysse​

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1186359 2017-08-24T22:42:21Z 2017-08-24T22:42:21Z Candidates for Friday Five
    Integrating SEL into the 3 R's 

     Vicki Zakrzewski
    K-12 teachers offer practical—and fun!—ways that social-emotional learning can be integrated into traditional lessons. 


    International Commission on Couple and Family Relations


    Poverty and the Family
    17 & 18 May 2018, University of Salzburg

    3.   Child Poverty Reduction messaging Toolkit

     It is finalized and can be found here on the CPAG website.  We will be utilizing this messaging for activity around the Census poverty data.

    Bridging the gap on military spouse unemployment

    5. The Surprising Demographic That's More Likely to Cheat in Marriage

     Kimberly Lawson

    6. National Association of Welfare Research and Statistics: 2017 Conference Presentations Available

     Christian Jarrett


    8. Bullying and internet safety are top health concerns for parents


    Ten Emotionally Intelligent Ways to Build Trust as a Parent

    9. New research shows one kind of teenage friendship is more likely to result in a happier, healthier adulthood

    Jenny Anderson@jandersonQZ

    10. Transactional marriages were once as common as marriage based on love


    America, Home of the Transactional Marriage


    Thanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1184311 2017-08-17T00:01:58Z 2017-08-17T00:01:58Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Six Ingredients to an Effective Time-Out




    3. How to Talk to Kids About Race: Books and Resources That Can Help

    by Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich

    4. Digital Tools and Distraction in School

    Mary Beth Hertz

    5. Independent Women


    Military spouses share employment challenges during White House visit

    6. Paper examines links between parents’ earnings, gender roles, mental health

    Sharita Forrest, Education Editor

    7. Women, men report similar levels of work-family conflicts

    8. Spouses must row marriage boat together

    Ken Potts

    9. Dating and Mating in the Age of Ambiguity

    Stanley NARME 2017 talk POSTED.pdf 

    10. Fatherhood Involvement

    11. Marriage Matters: Best friends with benefits?

    James and Audora Burg

    Thanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1182877 2017-08-12T00:30:38Z 2017-08-12T00:30:39Z Fwd: Marriage Minute: The power of empathy

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: The Gottman Institute <connect@gottman.com>
    Date: Thu, Aug 10, 2017 at 8:08 AM
    Subject: Marriage Minute: The power of empathy
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

    Empathy is feeling with people.
    The Marriage Minute
    Share This
    Tweet This

    The power of empathy

    Brené Brown on Empathy

    Empathy is the capacity to identify and share someone else’s emotions and experiences. As Brené Brown explains in the clip above, "empathy is feeling with people." 

    It's the key to emotional attunement with your partner and it's essential to the Emotion Coaching style of parenting.

    To have empathy is to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe. And not just in the moment, but in general.

    No wonder you're upset. 

    That would make me mad, too. 

    I understand how you feel. 

    For more suggestions, pick up a copy of our new Expressing Empathy Card Deck

    Additional reading:


    Just joining us? Click here to catch up.

    You can sign up here to get The Marriage Minute delivered to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday morning. 
    Share This
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    This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com
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    The Gottman Institute · 2101 4th Ave Suite 1750 · Seattle, WA 98121 · USA

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1182462 2017-08-10T17:02:20Z 2017-08-10T17:02:20Z
    1. Marriage in America is increasingly the province of the college-educated woman

    Dan Kopf

    2. The new minority on campus? Men

    3. International Youth Day 2017

    4. How to Reclaim Your Weekend



    I Am the Reason My Husband Infuriates Me


    5. ISU study: new type of intervention successful in domestic violence cases

    6. Frustrated with your spouse? These scientists suggest a specific kind of prayer

     Thomas Burnett 

    7. Is Marriage ‘Evolving?’

    Naomi Schaefer Riley

    8. Parenting Is Not a “Job,” and Marriage Is Not “Work”


    9. For better learning in college lectures, lay down the laptop and pick up a pen

    Susan M. Dynarski


    Thanks Alysse


    Final day in OBX this year. Headed to the beach!

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1182260 2017-08-10T01:07:58Z 2017-08-10T01:07:59Z Fwd: What Can the Brain Reveal about Gratitude?

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: Greater Good Science Center <greater@berkeley.edu>
    Date: Wed, Aug 9, 2017 at 10:33 AM
    Subject: What Can the Brain Reveal about Gratitude?
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

    Your Brain on Gratitude | Why Sex Is So Good for Your Relationship
    August 9, 2017
    twitter facebook youtube linkedin
    By Glenn Fox
    New research shows that feeling grateful involves the brain networks associated with social bonding and stress relief. 
    By Susan Krauss Whitbourne
    Find out what the happiness difference is between couples who have sex once a week vs. less than once a month.
    By Tchiki Davis
    Are you starting your happiness journey? Here are some tips for how to get off on the right foot.
    By Belinda Campos
    American society would be stronger and safer if it embraced people of all ethnicities.
    By Jenn Director Knudsen
    According to a new study, children who live with parents with a sensory disability develop greater emotional skills.
    Greater Good in Action: Practice of the Week
    Fighting and arguing can introduce a lot of negativity into romantic relationship. But there are ways to make arguments emotionally easier and this exercise from Greater Good in Action can help.
    The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley
    2425 Atherton St. #6070
    Berkeley, CA 94720-6070
    twitter facebook youtube linkedin
    © Copyright The Greater Good Science Center, 2015.
    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1180093 2017-08-03T13:46:46Z 2017-08-03T13:46:47Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. Published in Personal Relationships.
    Hurt, Tera R., Shears, Jeffrey K., Oconnor, Margaret C. & Hodge, Sharon, B. (2017). "Married Black men's observation of fathers' teachings about husbandhood." Personal Relationships, 2017; doi: 10.1111/pere.12171

    2. Surveying the Cultural and Economic Sources of America's Discontent

    Jennifer A. Marshall@MarshallJenA

    3. Parents’ social media habits are teaching children the wrong lessons

    Stacey Steinberg

    4. Auburn study: Black Americans sleep less than whites, leading to health problems

    William Thornton
    ​ ​

    5. Grad Student Research on Unfaithful Millennials Garners National Coverage

    6. Talking baseball assists aging adults with dementia

    Kenneth Best

    7. New rules for Muslim minors who want to wed

    Charissa Yong

    8. Manatee County offers free course to help improve couples’ relationships


    9. Half of those thinking of divorce reconsider a year later: University of Alberta study

    10. The places where people put off marriage the longest

    Dan Kopf 


    You're Doomed to a Love/Hate Relationship With Your Siblings

    Thanks Alysee


    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1178314 2017-07-29T12:47:45Z 2017-07-29T12:47:45Z Fwd: Have You Hurt Your Spouse?

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: Mike Tucker <mtucker@faithfortoday.tv>
    Date: Sat, Jul 29, 2017 at 6:30 AM
    Subject: Have You Hurt Your Spouse?
    To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

    Hi Bill,

    Most mistakes will have little to no long term effect on your marriage IF you follow these tips when they occur:

    How to Handle Mistakes in Marriage
    Don’t stick your head in the sand and hope for the best. 

    Acknowledging the mistake is the right thing to do. Take responsibility, apologize, make things right.

    Identify the Mistake
    To learn from your mistake, identify it and seek to understand the root cause.

    Often times, our loving spouse (though it might not seem that way at the time :) brings the mistake to our attention. 

    But instead of feeling threatened, challenge yourself to do a bit of soul searching to learn and grow from the experience; become a better spouse.

    Admit the Mistake
    Tell the truth. Hiding and blaming will only make things worse.

    If you’ve ever had someone refuse to admit fault when they so clearly wronged you, you know how hurtful it can be. 

    You don’t want your spouse getting stuck on knowing you’re hiding something because this blocks the relationship from healing and moving forward. 

    As long as your marriage is built on trust, you should feel safe enough to admit your wrongs to your spouse.

    Also, admitting that your wrong goes a long way to defuse your partner’s anger.

    Accept the Consequences
    Mistakes have consequences. 

    Just because you deserve to be forgiven doesn’t necessarily release you from facing the consequences of your actions. 

    For instance, if you’ve done something to break your husband’s or wife’s trust, he or she may subject you to greater scrutiny the next time a similar situation arises.

    Apologizing effectively is a skill that every spouse must learn for a healthy relationship.

    This involves taking full responsibility for your actions without making excuses or making it seem as if the situation was out of your control. 

    It also involves making amends and not repeating the same mistake.

    Make Amends
    Making amends can be as simple as returning to the store for a forgotten item or as complex as having to rebuild broken trust in your marriage. 

    If there is anything you can do to make things right, do it. 

    Do Not Repeat
    All the above steps are critical in the process of ensuring the mistake won’t be repeated. 

    You’ll think twice about repeating a mistake for which you have suffered the consequences and had to go out of your way to rectify the situation. 

    Remembering the pain and hurt you put your spouse through also helps to prevent the mistake from being repeated. 

    The last thing you want after working hard to regain your partner’s trust is to break it and then seeing them hurt all over again. 

    When you handle mistakes in your marriage correctly, you’re able to heal and save the most important relationship in your life. 

    Until next time, this is Mike Tucker and the Mad About Marriage Crew and we want YOU to be mad about marriage. 

    Share: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon
    11291 Pierce Street
    Riverside CA 92505

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    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1177493 2017-07-27T03:06:40Z 2017-07-27T03:06:40Z Candidates for Friday Five 189
    1. This One Simple Tool Could Save Your Relationship

    Chris Wilson

    2. Toumbourou, J., Hartman, D., Field, K., Jeffery, R., Brady, J., Heaton, A., Ghayour-Minaie, M., & Heerde, J. (2017). 

    Strengthening prevention and early intervention services for families into the future. 
    Deakin University and Family and Relationships Services Australia (FRSA)


    3. The importance of the first five years: Katharine Stevens’ testimony on Capitol Hill

    4. Prepare couples for ups and downs of married life

    David Kan

    5. Paid grandparental leave: The future for family-friendly workplaces?


     U.S. ranks highly in new index showing how societies are adapting to aging

    6. FUSE:  Relationship & Marriage Education



    8. Liberals often blame mass incarceration on the war on drugs. That’s not quite right.

    German Lopez

    9. Marriage notice books – a new source for family historians

    Anna Manthorpe


    11. American-Japanese couple juggles marriage with service to their respective nations

    12. Framing messages to engage fathers in the first 1000 days

    Richard Fletcher, Jennifer StGeorge and Chris May
     11:30 PM (23:30) Previous Day Eastern Daylight

    Thanks Alysse.

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1177474 2017-07-27T01:18:17Z 2017-07-27T01:18:17Z Fwd: CoupleTalk - Universal Version of RE Program now available

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: <newsletter@nire.org>
    Date: Wed, Jul 26, 2017 at 7:01 PM
    Subject: CoupleTalk - Universal Version of RE Program now available
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

    Hi Everyone,

    NIRE is excited to announce a new addition to the RE family of programs. Couple Talk - Universal Version, created by Don and Alex Flecky, is a video-based communication skills program for all couples. Subtitled as "A Video Version of Dr. Bernard Guerney's Relationship Enhancement® Program," CoupleTalk Universal does not include faith content and is suitable for use in community and federally-funded programs. It provides skills training in communication and conflict resolution using the research-proven RE skills, with their emphasis on empathy. 

    CoupleTalk does not require a trained facilitator - video sessions can be accessed on DVDs or by online streaming. The program can be used in classes, as a supplement in counseling, or by a couple at home. It includes a number of distance learning elements to deepen understanding and enhance behavior change. The 10 video sessions are used with accompanying workbooks, and the entire 15 hour program, including four workbooks, can be purchased by a couple for as little as $150. The online community also includes shorter session options for situations where a 90 minute session is too long. 

    CoupleTalk Universal will be debuting this month at NARME (National Association of Relationship and Marriage Education) in Denver. For more info and to order, go to www.coupletalk.com

    Rob Scuka, PhD
    Executive Director

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    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1177118 2017-07-26T01:21:19Z 2017-07-26T01:21:19Z Fwd: Better Marriages Bookstore Blowout

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: Better Marriages <phunt@bettermarriages.org>
    Date: Tue, Jul 25, 2017 at 7:57 PM
    Subject: Better Marriages Bookstore Blowout
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

    Think you have all the resources offered by Better Marriages? There's more!

    25% Bookstore Sale

    Want to grow your couple relationship?

    Looking for resources for your Marriage Enrichment Group?

    Many new resources have been added! Check them out!

    We are adding new resources all the time!

    Wedding/Anniversary (Holiday!) Package
    Includes Membership in Better Marriages
    How to Use Conflict to Bring You Closer
    Workbook for Individual Couples and Couple Groups
     In the Presence of God
    Devotional Readings for Couples
    Friendship on Fire
    Passionate and Intimate Connections

    The New Marriage
    Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth
     How to Marry the Right Guy
    Essential Characteristics Required to Make a Great Husband 
    Right Steps
    Discovering a Better Marriage
    Love and Anger in Marriage
    A Classic - Timeless Principles

    Creciendo En Nuestras Relaciones Interpersonales
    Creciendo En El Amor Conyugal
    Finding the Extra-Ordinary Marriage
    Build Strong, Loving, and Compassionate Relationships using Appreciative Inquiry

    Keys to Success
    7 Booklets on Relationship Topics
     Commitment in Marriage
    This is My Promise
    Connect with us
    Better Marriages | P.O. Box 21374, Winston-Salem, NC 27120
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    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1175485 2017-07-20T16:05:13Z 2017-07-20T16:05:14Z Candidates for Friday Five
    Americans are most likely to follow their parents into these 20 professions
    Dan Kopf

    Read the Summer 2016 of CFLE Network, featuring articles on the topic of Family Fun.

    ​. ​
    Research suggests that being compassionate can improve health, well-being, and relationships. Find out more about this key to well-being, and how you can cultivate it in your own life!


    By Jaime Kurtz
    Just in time for peak summer travel season, tips on using the science of happiness to make your holiday better.

    Now is the government’s chance to promote marriage and tackle our social problems

    How to Talk to Your Political Other

    Skills for talking across the divide

    If we want to solve our nation's problems, we need to strengthen families



    Number of divorces continues to rise, while fewer tie the knot

    Cubby house building in Belair National Park bucks children's 'structured lives'

     Why Young Adults May Embrace Jane Austen’s ‘Happily Ever After’ In Marriage

    By Elizabeth Kantor


    Making Peace With Jane Austen’s Marriage Plots


    Kids in High-Stress Environments May Develop Unique Skills

    University Communications and University of Utah

    ​hanks Alysse​

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1173199 2017-07-13T17:55:52Z 2017-07-13T17:55:52Z Candidates for Friday Five

    Three Innovative Approaches to Serving Low-Income Fathers: The Building Bridges and Bonds Study

    ​. ​

    Give me a sign: What Signals Commitment?

    Dr. Scott Stanley

    Is slowness the essence of knowledge?

    Eloise Stark looks at whether ‘slow and steady wins the race’.

    Effects of early parenting interventions on parents and infants
    Joanne Commerford

    What Is Altruism?

    National Resource Center for Healthy Marriage and Families Virtual Training Center

    7. How to Manage: Let Employees Put Family First. It's Good for Business.

    8. ​Hundreds of Orgs Sign On to Call for Expansion of Federal Home Visiting Program

    July 20, 2017

    The 2017 Index of Culture and Opportunity: The Social and Economic Trends that Shape America


    Harry Benson | Director of Research

    We’re not ready for the ‘silver tsunami’ of older adults living with cance

    Keith M. Bellizzi

    Who Gets More Out of Marriage, Women or Men?
    Ben Steverman

    ​  T
    ​hanks Alysse​

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1172889 2017-07-12T18:40:30Z 2017-07-12T18:40:30Z Fwd: Louise Guerney's revised edition of Parenting: A Skills Training Manual is available
    -----Original Message-----
    From: newsletter <newsletter@nire.org>
    To: billandpatcoffin <billandpatcoffin@verizon.net>
    Sent: Wed, Jul 12, 2017 1:43 pm
    Subject: Louise Guerney's revised edition of Parenting: A Skills Training Manual is available

    Hi Everyone,
    The revised 6th edition of Louise Guerney's much acclaimed Parenting: A Skills Training Manual is available for bulk purchase at a discounted rate.
    Boxes of 20 can be ordered for $130.00, a 50% discount from the regular single copy rate, s/h included.
    Please call 301-680-8977 to place your order with credit card information.
    Alternatively, you can mail a check to:
    4400 East-West Highway #24
    Bethesda, MD 20814
    Orders will be collected and shipped once a week.
    Best wishes to one and all,
    Rob Scuka, PhD
    Executive Director

    powered by phplist v 2.10.18, © phpList ltd
    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1171165 2017-07-06T23:16:25Z 2017-07-06T23:16:25Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. What America’s ‘Baby Bust’ Means for Public Policy

    Married People Have More Sex


    ​. ​
    Increase Empathy in the Six Seconds Model of EQ

    ​. ​
    8 Great Presidential Love Stories
    David Breitenbeck

    Children object to losing time with dad to 24/7 economy
    Lyndall Strazdins

    Supporting families helps the bottom line

    Frank Young

    Milton Friesen

    10. The reasons why millennials move less frequently than previous generations
    Dan Kopf

    The Fracking Boom, a Baby Boom, and the Retreat From Marriage

    ​  T
    ​hanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1169310 2017-07-01T00:48:11Z 2017-07-01T00:48:11Z Fwd: Positivity is Contagious

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: PREPARE/ENRICH <cs@prepare-enrich.com>
    Date: Fri, Jun 30, 2017 at 5:12 PM
    Subject: Positivity is Contagious
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

    What is one thing you can do to improve your marriage
    Hi, just a reminder that you're receiving this email because you have expressed an interest in PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC. Don't forget to add cs@prepare-enrich.com to your address book so we'll be sure to land in your inbox!
    You may unsubscribe if you no longer wish to receive our emails.
    We know that life can be hard sometimes and that it can take a toll on your relationship - but can positivity play a role in your marriage? 

    What is your attitude towards your marriage?

    Imagine this: It's a Tuesday morning; you forgot to set your alarm last night. You wake up half an hour late and no longer have time to shower before work. Scrambling to get in on time, you forget to grab an orange - which you have every morning for breakfast. Once you get into work, ten minutes late, you find you are scheduled for a morning meeting ... again. Bewildered by the audacity of your supervisor, you reluctantly accept the scheduled meeting on your computer and start to prepare for it.

    Ten thirty rolls around and you walk into the meeting. Everyone is laughing, smiling, having a general good time and you roll your eyes to yourself - it's a Tuesday, why is everyone so cheerful. Twenty minutes into the painfully "fun" meeting you sputter out a chuckle.

    What. Where did that come from?

    It's almost as if your coworkers' positivity had an impact on your mood.

    Believe it or not, the people you spend your time with can affect your attitude towards your day, your week, and even your life in general. When you have a positive outlook, it can help your mood which has been shown to affect your health. Here are some things that a positive outlook can do to affect your life:
    • There's more laughter
    • A valuable source of motivation
    • Attracts other happy people
    • Reduces stress
    • Lowers risk for heart-related health problems
    If we know that a positive outlook affects your mood and your health - what if we think about it in terms of your relationship? If you have a poor attitude at work, school, or in general about your life you may be projecting that attitude onto your marriage without knowing it. If you know having a positive outlook on life can lower your health risks, think about what having a positive outlook on your relationship could do for your marriage's health.

    Take some time each day to remember the good in your relationship, even when you're running late because your spouse couldn't figure out which tie to wear, or bitter that you missed the bus because your partner was having a bad hair day, or stressed that your partner forgot to pick up more milk for the recipe you are making tonight.  What is your marriage attitude?  A little grace, empathy, and thankfulness might give you the boost you need.  Healthy, happy couples have healthy, happy relationships.

    And lastly, remember to smile, it actually won't kill ya!
    April Social Media Recap 

    Did you check out our blog series last month?  We interviewed four couples from the PREPARE/ENRICH family to see their insights on marriage.  It's worth a read!

    This is part one of a mini interview series the team at PREPARE/ENRICH conducted during the month of May to celebrate anniversaries with couples like you. As we approach the month of June, wedding season is upon us.  With weddings come anniversaries - many, many anniversaries.  Relationships are our priority here at P/E and we [...]...»
    Trending on Facebook :

    Follow:  Like us on Facebook  Follow us on Twitter  View our videos on YouTube  Visit our blog
    PREPARE/ENRICH, LLC, 2660 Arthur St, Roseville, MN 55113
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    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1169242 2017-06-30T20:31:24Z 2017-06-30T20:31:24Z Fwd: ACF Family Room Blog: Research Shows Importance of “Success Sequence”

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: ACF Communications <acf.comms@acf.hhs.gov>
    Date: Wed, Jun 28, 2017 at 2:17 PM
    Subject: ACF Family Room Blog: Research Shows Importance of “Success Sequence”
    To: ACFCOMMUNICATIONS@list.nih.gov

    HHS and ACF logos

    New from the Family Room Blog

    Research Shows Importance of “Success Sequence”

    June 23, 2017

    New report on millennials and avoiding poverty

    Steven Wagner, ACF Acting Assistant Secretary for Children and Families

    painted image of the back of a man and a woman standing in a field 

    ACF’s programs are designed to help low-income families, while promoting the healthiest and best choices for Americans to succeed in life. Our Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program, for instance, has specific purposes in its statute, including promoting job preparation, work and marriage; preventing out-of-wedlock pregnancies; and encouraging two-parent married families.

    new report shows how crucial the “success sequence” is for young adults to avoid poverty. Authored by Brad Wilcox and Wendy Wang of the American Enterprise Institute and the Institute for Family Studies, it states: “Millennials are much more likely to flourish financially if they follow the ‘success sequence’—getting at least a high school degree, working full-time, and marrying before having any children, in that order.”

    The statistics are worth looking at. The report shows, for instance, “95 percent of millennials who married first are not poor, compared to 72 percent who had children first.” Additionally, “71 percent who married before having children made it into the middle or higher end of the income distribution by the time they are age 28-34. By comparison, only 41 percent of millennials from lower-income families who had children first made it into the middle or higher end of the distribution when they reached ages 28-34.”

    ACF’s programs offer tools to support healthy decisions. Our abstinence education programs – block grants to states, and funding for local grantees – aim to deliver promising approaches to reducing out-of-wedlock pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. And our healthy marriage program offers a range of activities, including premarital education and marriage skills training.

    Sometimes individuals, particularly young people, who experience poverty and material or emotional need lose hope that they will ever be able to realize their personal goals in life. The Wilcox-Wang research should give them hope. By choosing to achieve these life goals in their proper order, millennials in this research were virtually certain (97 percent) to have avoided poverty, with a mere three percent of those following this path in poverty. The success sequence should be a model on how to achieve good results.

    Administration for Children & Families | 330 C St SW Washington, DC 20201

    Unsubscribe from the ACFCOMMUNICATIONS list

    To unsubscribe from the ACFCOMMUNICATIONS list, click the following link:

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1168877 2017-06-29T17:46:33Z 2017-06-29T17:46:33Z Candidates for Friday Five
    1. CFLE Network, NCFR


    Tips for Family Vacations


    Toumbourou, J., Hartman, D., Field, K., Jeffery, R., Brady, J., Heaton, A., Ghayour-Minaie, M., Heerde, J. (2017). 
    Strengthening prevention and early intervention services for families into the future. Deakin University and FRSA



    Spring 2017

    3. Evidence Supporting Three Interventions That Might Slow Cognitive Decline and the Onset of Dementia Is Encouraging but Insufficient to Justify a Public Health Campaign Focused on Their Adoption

    4. Want to avoid divorce? Don't marry your childhood sweetheart

    Olivia Rudgard

    5. Love, Lust and Loneliness campaign

    6. Men as Dependents? Marriage and Changes in Health Insurance Coverage among Working-age Adults in the United States, 1988 to 2008
    Christine Percheski


    A Snapshot of Men, Work and Family Relationships in Canada

    7. PTSD and marriage: Advice from someone who’s been there

    8. Guide: Marriage, Weddings and Money

    Amin Dabit, CFP®

    9. What American marriages are really like in 2017


    7 secrets to a lasting relationship from the hugely popular 'Marriage 101' class

    10. Marriage, fatherhood may cause men to gain weight

     Honor Whiteman

    Thanks Alysse

    Bill Coffin
    tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1168644 2017-06-28T22:54:36Z 2017-06-28T22:54:36Z Fwd: Zippy News: What Science Tells Us About Family Fun
    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: National Council on Family Relations <info@ncfr.org>
    Date: Wed, Jun 28, 2017 at 5:04 PM
    Subject: Zippy News: What Science Tells Us About Family Fun
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

    NCFR Webinar: July 20 –Invoke, Evoke, Provoke

    View this email in your browser

    National Council on Family Relations

    NCFR Weekly Zippy News

    June 28, 2017

    Happy summer! Zippy will take a break the week of July 3 and will return the week of July 10.

    Is there an item you'd like considered for inclusion in Zippy News? Read our submission guidelines, then email the information and/or link to Trip Sullivan.

    1. What Science Can Tell Us About Family Fun
    2. NCFR Webinar: Practical Skills to Invoke, Evoke, and Provoke Cultural Engagement
    3. Register for Preconference Workshop: Strengths-Based Leadership Development in Family Science
    4. NCFR Has Moved to Saint Paul
    5. What Influences Financial Behavior in Young Adults?
    6. Call for Papers: Sustainable Futures
    7. Call for Applications: Early Career Work and Family Fellowships
    8. Zippy's Video: What Kids Really Want From Vacation
    9. Employment Opportunities

    What Science Can Tell Us About Family Fun

    NCFR member Karen K. Melton, Ph.D., CTRS recently appeared on the Talk of Iowa discussing the topic of family vacations with the show's hosts and callers. Listen to an online recording here.

    This got us thinking back to last summer's issue of CFLE Network on the topic of Family Fun. For a limited time, we've unlocked several of the issue's articles to the general public (normally only available for Certified Family Life Educators). 

    A common theme in these articles is that leisure time is often healthiest for the family when spent at home doing daily activities (Zabriskie & McCormick, 2001). However, there are also many great benefits to family vacations and activities outside the home, which you can learn about in this issue's articles below:

    by Karen K. Melton, Ph.D., CTRS

    by David L. Briscoe, Ph.D., CFLE

    by Jennifer Newquist, Ph.D., CFLE

    Read current and past issues of CFLE Network and NCFR Report on our website

    Practical Skills for Family Life Educators to
    Invoke, Evoke, and Provoke Cultural Engagement

    Thursday, July 20, 2017  | 11 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. CST
    Approved for 1.5 CFLE contact hours of continuing education credit.

    This NCFR webinar is for family life educators interested in cultural engagement. Presenter Marcy L. Peake, MA, LPC, NCC, CFLE, will help you build awareness of your cultural self and take away activities to help provoke cultural engagement with the families you serve.

    Family life educators work in a variety of environments that require knowledge, skills, and dispositions to engage diverse populations and create learning spaces that are anti-oppressive for all families. Since families are unique both within and between cultural groups, family life educators can best prepare by learning practical skills that invoke an understanding of their own cultural selves, evoke awareness of societal and individual biases, and provoke cultural engagement with families served. 

    “This is an invaluable resource for teaching family life methodology. It will help students gain more awareness of themselves and the potential families with which they’ll work.”
    - Jennifer Crosswhite, Ph.D., CFLE, NCFR Director of Research and Policy Education

    An archived webinar recording is available with your registration. Classroom licenses are also available.

    learn more and register 

    NCFR Annual Conference Spotlight

    Join us for the 2017 NCFR Annual Conference, Nov. 15 – 18 in Orlando, Florida.
    A preliminary schedule is updated weekly and the full revised schedule will be available late summer. For more details, please visit our conference webpage.

    Preconference Workshop: 
    Strengths-Based Leadership Development in Family Science

    Tuesday, Nov. 14, 2017 | 9 a.m.–5:15 p.m. with coffee beginning at 8:30 a.m.
    Cost: $150 | Limited to 40 participants

    Open to all current Family Science leaders, this preconference workshop is designed to create opportunities for participants to learn about their personal leadership strengths, as well as how those abilities interact with the strengths of fellow faculty and staff members. We also will discuss how those strengths can be used to tackle problems faced by academic administrators such as managing difficult conversations and working effectively with deans and other upper level administrators.

    learn more and register

    NCFR Has Moved to Saint Paul

    Unpacked and Ready to Assist You

    NCFR headquarters is staying in Minnesota, but we've moved from Minneapolis just across the Mississippi River into Saint Paul.

    Please note our new mailing address:
    National Council on Family Relations
    661 LaSalle Street, Suite 200
    Saint Paul, MN 55114

    Our phone numbers, email, and website addresses will stay the same.
    Main office: 763-781-9331 or toll free at 888-781-9331

    What Influences Financial Behavior in Young Adults?

    New Research on Family Financial Management  

    The June 2017 issue of Journal of Financial Counseling and Planning features topics relevant to family life educators and researchers. Subjects include how young adults' financial behavior relates to their financial satisfaction, and gender differences in adolescent work behavior.

    read abstracts 
    (You will need to scroll down to see articles)

    Call for Papers: Sustainable Futures

    The Society for Applied Anthropology (SfAA) invites abstracts (sessions, papers and posters) for the program of the 78th Annual Meeting in Philadelphia, PA, April 3-7, 2018. The theme of the Program is “Sustainable Futures.” The society is a multidisciplinary association that focuses on problem definition and resolution. Papers from all disciplines are welcome. The deadline for abstract submission is Oct. 15, 2017. 

    read more

    Call for Applications: Early Career Work and Family Fellowships

    The Work and Family Researchers Network (WFRN) is seeking applicants for 2018 Early Career Work and Family Fellowships. The goal of the program is to help promising young scholars establish career successes, as well as integrate them within the WFRN research community. Fifteen scholars will be selected for the program. Fellows receive a one year membership in the WFRN, conference registration, and $500 to help defer expenses to attend a preconference meeting and the 2018 WFRN Conference (to be held June 21-23 in Washington DC). 

    learn more and apply

    Zippy's Video of the Week

    Kid President is here to give parents everywhere some insider information on what kids really want out of a vacation. Roller coasters? Room service? The answer may just surprise you!

    watch video

    Employment Opportunities

    Employers: Get your job opening included in Zippy News by posting it in NCFR's online Jobs Center!

    There are no new listings in the NCFR Jobs Center this week.   

    browse existing job listings

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    Bill Coffin