tag:billcoffin.org,2013:/posts Coffin Corner 2017-02-16T14:48:33Z Bill Coffin tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1131842 2017-02-16T14:48:32Z 2017-02-16T14:48:33Z Fwd: National Marriage Week - Ethics & Religion Col.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Thu, Feb 16, 2017 at 12:42 AM
Subject: National Marriage Week - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,851
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>


Ethics & Religion

A Column by Mike McManus

 

February 16, 2017

Column #1,851

National Marriage Week

By Mike McManus

 

            It is National Marriage Week, a good time to assess the health of marriage in America.   “The institution of marriage represents the very foundation of human social order,” writes Dr. James Dobson. “Everything of value sits on that base. Institutions, government, religious fervor and the welfare of children are all dependent on its stability.”

 

            When Gallup asked couples to grade their marriages, 68% gave it an A and 23%, a B. Only 6% gave it a C and 1% each, a D or F.  By contrast, 64% of cohabiting couples who were preparing for marriage, ranked their relationship in the “low satisfaction group.”

 

            Nor do unhappy marriages stay that way: 86% of bad marriages become good ones!

 

            However, divorced men are twice as likely as married men to die from the four big killers: heart disease, stroke, hypertension and cancer.  My wife and I report in our book, Living Together: Myths, Risks & Answers, “Auto accidents and suicide death rates for the divorced are almost four times higher; cirrhosis of the liver and pneumonia death rates are seven times higher; the rate of death from murder is eight times greater.”

 

            Not surprisingly, therefore, being unmarried chops nearly ten years off a man’s life. Married women will live four years longer, and their children, five years longer.

 

            “Loneliness is a lethal force with the power to break the human heart,” writes James J. Lynch in A Cry Unheard. A married couple cares for each other. For example, a wife watches their diet and objects if her husband pours a second drink.  But when one of them dies, the will to live is extinguished for many.

 

            Married couples are far wealthier.  Those who never marry experience a 75% reduction in wealth. Married men earn 10% to 40% more than single men with similar education and job history. Why? Married men have a greater work commitment, lower quit rates, healthier and more stable routines.

 

            According to The Case For Marriage by Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, “On the verge of retirement, the typical married couple had accumulated about $410,000 compared to $167,000 for the never-married, $154,000 for the divorced, and under $96,000 for the separated.”

 

            We write, “Marrying offers balance. Spouses are invested in each other and in the well-being of their joint future. He proposes to buy a new car; she says, `That’s a waste of our money. Let’s remodel the screen porch and turn it into a sunroom.’ Result: the investment increases the value of their home.  The single guy buys the car or vacations in Cancun and by retirement can claim fewer assets.”

 

            Married people also have more and better sex than singles.  TV shows like Sex and the City give the impression the happiest people are those who jump in bed with someone new every Friday night.  But the National Sex Survey reports 43% of married men had sex at least twice a week – compared to only 26% of single men.

 

Married people also enjoy their sex more, both physically and emotionally than their unmarried counterparts. Married women are almost twice as likely as divorced and never-married women to have a sex life that (a) exists and (b) is extremely emotionally satisfying.

 

What about cohabiters? While cohabiting couples have at least as much sex as the married, they don’t seem to enjoy it quite as much. For men, having a wife beats shacking up by a wide margin: 48% of husbands say sex with their wife is extremely satisfying emotionally compared to just 37% of cohabiting men.

 

Therefore, I have a tough question.  Why were there more marriages in 1970 (2,159,000) than in 2015 (2,077,000)?  The population grew from 203 million to 319 million.  If the same percentage of couples were marrying now, there would be 1.3 million more marriages per year!

 

First, I blame America’s churches for not making a better case for marriage. Four in ten people attend church weekly – giving clergy huge access. Yet, in my 70+ years of attending church, I can remember only one sermon, a recent one - that held up Christian marriage. 

 

Second, two-thirds of young couples think they should test the relationship by living together.  There were 8.3 million couples cohabiting in 2015, but only 1.3 million of them married.  The rest mostly break up over time. And women who cohabit are 33% more likely to divorce than those who remained apart till marriage.

 

Churches should insist that cohabiting couples move apart for months before the wedding – to increase their odds of success.

 

Sadly, few do so.

Copyright © 2017 Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist. To see past columns, go to www.ethicsandreligion.com.  Hit Search for any topic.

 

 

 

 

 

****************************************

Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-978-7105

 

]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1131432 2017-02-15T03:11:29Z 2017-02-16T00:01:46Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. Immortal Beloved: Musical Love Letters from the Great Composers

Stephen M. Klugewicz

http://www.theimaginativeconservative.org/2017/02/immortal-beloved-musical-love-letters-great-composers-stephen-klugewicz.html?






2. Dr. Anda's recent (2/1/17) medical grand rounds re: ACE's 

https://youtu.be/s26rKgIqZ70 







​3. Healthy Child Development through Prevention Science
February 2017 NPSC Brief

chrome-extension://ecnphlgnajanjnkcmbpancdjoidceilk/content/web/viewer.html?file=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.wix.com%2Fugd%2F773dc1_5c98a49aab8c430fbba581638a0e3c27.pdf


media.wix.com%2Fugd%2F773dc1_5c98a49aab8c430fbba581638a0e3c27.pdf





4. Accepting our children






5. Couple Growth Plan Exercise

Priscilla Hunt






6. 'Random App of Kindness' helps teach children how to be more empathetic

OR



OR







7. Americans are staying single longer than ever, and it’s changing modern marriage in 3 major ways





8. Purging the marriage penalty








9. 7 health benefits of being in a happy marriage













11.Marriage and Sanctity in the Lives of Late Medieval Married Saints








Thanks Alysee. Enjoy your trip!







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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1129975 2017-02-09T18:11:38Z 2017-02-09T18:11:38Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. Call for Papers: European Network for the Sociological and Demographic Study of Divorce







2. About Healthy Marriage & Relationship Education






3. FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE: STAYING IN AN UNHAPPY MARRIAGE COULD BE THE BEST THING YOU DO




OR 







4. Strange Sex Habits of Silicon Valley








5. 

East and West may be reshaping each other's parenting


Dr Xinyin Chen 






6. Fatherhood in the 21st Century: Valentine’s Day Musings and Letters

Dr. Gerald Brown






7. OSBORNE PAPER ON THE IMPACT OF SHIFTING FAMILY DYNAMICS ON CHILD WELLBEING






8. Fatherhood Initiatives: Connecting Fathers to Their Children

Congressional Research Service, Library of Congress. Carmen Solomon-Fears, Jessica Tollestrup. December 28, 2016






9.  IKEA Carpark Therapy






10. Under pressure: the relationships of UK parents who have a child with a learning disability

Dr David Marjoribanks


OR

I'm bored with my relationship




11. 13 COMPANIES YOU SHOULD CONSIDER WORKING FOR IF YOU WANT A FAMILY SOMEDAY

 SOPHIE CALDECOTT





Thanks Alysse


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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1129164 2017-02-06T22:03:51Z 2017-02-06T22:03:53Z Fwd: Marriage Week is here. So much happening. TV and more
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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Mon, Feb 6, 2017 at 4:58 PM
Subject: Marriage Week is here. So much happening. TV and more
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


NMW header
National Marriage Week starts tomorrow, Feb. 7th!! 
LOOK what's happening!
It's here!

National Marriage Week USA starts tomorrow, February 7th. It's already heating up!

Many hundreds of activities are already on our National Calendar...you can LOCATE one near you in a search by state. And KEEP POSTING your own events because we will get national news coverage this week.

Here's a "good-to-share" 3-minute national TV clip from EWTN Global News

Salon TV hosted a 20-minute conversation
with NMW executive director Sheila Weber and BoldGlobal founder Carrie Sheffield. Watch this good resource for answers to probing questions among millennials and marriage today.

An example of LOCAL Media Coverage potential: The Cleveland Daily Banner article, "Campaign Designed to Encourage Marriage and Reduce Divorce"
 
The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops sent this letter to all parishes encouraging them to celebrate National Marriage Week USA with these resources.

It's not too late to pick up the phone and call your local newspaper and radio station! Let folks know what you are doing for National Marriage Week USA.

Yours for strengthening marriage,
Sheila Weber, Executive Director
Heather Grizzle, Campaign Manager



National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.

Like us on Facebook   Follow us on Twitter
National Marriage Week USA, 115 E 62nd Street, New York, NY 10065
Sent by sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact
]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1128304 2017-02-02T21:15:59Z 2017-02-02T21:16:00Z Fwd: Get Ready for National Marriage Week (Feb. 7–14)
---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Ave Maria Press <avemariapress@e.avemariapress.com>
Date: Thu, Feb 2, 2017, 11:03 AM
Subject: Get Ready for National Marriage Week (Feb. 7–14)
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Ave Maria Press is celebrating National Marriage Week with a number of giveaways and online events.
View this email online
 
High School Textbooks Ministry Resources Spiritual Books SALE!

National Marriage Week


February 7–14
"Let's Strengthen Marriage"

We are celebrating National Marriage Week with a number of book giveaways and online events. Our goal is to spread the word about the value and importance of Catholic marriage today and to feature helpful advice that married couples can apply to their own marriages.

Put any of our online events on your calendar and get ready to spread the word about the beauty of Catholic marriage.

View the Schedule of Events & Giveaways >

♥    ♥    ♥

Special Offer: Marriage Week Discount

Get 20% OFF our line of marriage enrichment books when you use the promo code MARRIAGEWEEK.
Offer expires 2.14.17. Exclusions apply.*

Intimate Graces 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage Just Married The Four Keys to Everlasting Love
Intimate Graces
160 pages, $13.95
$11.16 with code
101 Tips for a Happier Marriage
144 pages, $12.95
$10.36 with code
Just Married
256 pages, $15.95
$12.76 with code
The Four Keys to Everlasting Love
256 pages, $15.95
$12.76 with code
       
All Marriage Resources >
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This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by Ave Maria Press
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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1128054 2017-02-02T02:14:28Z 2017-02-02T02:14:29Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. Top 10 key facts on marriage 



OR






2. Family Life Education Month



OR

NCFR research and policy briefs







3. 

The Four Keys to a Meaningful Life


 Jill Suttie






​4. ​
Marriage could improve heart attack survival, research shows



OR


How Can Being Married Help You Win Against Cancer?



OR

Marital History and Survival After Stroke

Matthew E. Dupre, Renato D. Lopes





5. Research and Evaluation in 2016

Naomi Goldstein, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Planning, Research, and Evaluation








6. The importance of teaching kids empathy

Erica Van Buren




7

. Do Married Couples Pay More Taxes?

 Maurie Backman 







by 






9. Aggression in Twentysomethings’ Cohabiting, Dating, and Marriage Relationships

Scott M. Stanley & Galena K. Rhoades






10. 'Friday Night Lights' stars had one rule for the Taylors' marriage: No cheating

Ree Hines




Thanks Alysse




]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1127977 2017-02-01T20:50:13Z 2017-02-01T20:50:13Z Fwd: It's not too late.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Tue, Jan 31, 2017 at 12:46 PM
Subject: It's not too late.
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


NMW header
It's not too late!  Simple things you can do this week
Hi there!  We are ONE week away from National Marriage Week USA-Feb. 7 to 14th.   It's not too late to do one or two simple things to support marriages!
  1. You can ask your pastor to share some thoughts on marriage from the pulpit on SUNDAY, Feb. 12th!
  2. You can ask a local radio station to play one of our PSAs. Click here  for suggested text or actual recording.
  3. You can ask your Mayor or Governor to issue a Proclamation about the value of marriage next week. Samples here.
  4. You can use Feb. 7 to 14 as a time to form a committee to bring a marriage class later to your church, home group, or community center.
  5. You can put our newspaper ad (scroll to bottom) in your local Penny Saver!
It's not too late! National Marriage Week--Feb. 7 to 14--is used to share the message about the benefits of marriage for health, financial stability, happiness, and the best environment for raising children. 

Course/curriculum ideas, fact sheets about the decline of marriage, event kit, press release, and promotional materials are all available at www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
 
Check out what is happening in your state on our NATIONAL CALENDAR ....and POST FOR FREE any marriage event all year long!


Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to keep up with helpful tips and marriage articles.

Thanks for joining this growing campaign to strengthen marriage!

Sheila Weber, executive director
Heather Grizzle, campaign manager



National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.

Like us on Facebook   Follow us on Twitter
National Marriage Week USA, 115 E 62nd Street, New York, NY 10065
Sent by sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact
]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1126758 2017-01-28T01:20:12Z 2017-01-28T01:20:12Z Fwd: Special Conference Workshops on Relationship Enhancement and Filial Methods


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Fri, Jan 27, 2017 at 8:01 PM
Subject: Special Conference Workshops on Relationship Enhancement and Filial Methods
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 

Special Workshops on

Relationship Enhancement®

and Filial Methods

 
 

 

 

The 2017 Relationship Enhancement®

and Filial Therapy Conference

 
 


 

March 31 - April 1, 2017 in Bethesda, MD

 
 

 

 

Sponsored by

National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE)

 

CE Workshops

For the 2017 Relationship Enhancement® and Filial Therapy Conference, NIRE and AFREM are co-sponsoring two workshops on Friday March 31 and two workshops on Saturday April 1.

Friday will include two RE Therapy related workshops: "Using the Relationship Enhancement model to mediate conflicts between traditional gender roles and contemporary societal values of equality in heterosexual, same-sex, immigrant, and intercultural relationships" and "A Salad of Integrity: Resolving Ethical Questions When Working from an Educational Model in a Medical Model Profession."

Saturday will include two play related workshops: "Filial Therapy in Non-group Settings: Navigating the Unique Challenges" and "When Change is Slow: Addressing Parent Concerns
During the Child-Centered Play/Filial Therapy Process."

Each workshop qualifies for 3 CE credits.

 

Organized Friday Night Dutch Treat Dinner

This year’s traditional “Dutch Treat” dinner will be held on Friday night March 31. This well attended event always proves to be a fun time to connect and relax with friends and colleagues around the dinner table. Please join us if you can! Details below. And please RSVP so we can properly plan with the restaurant.

 

Registration

Registration information may be found below.

AFREM Special Workshops Registration Form

 

 

Friday Workshops

 
Using the Relationship Enhancement model to mediate conflicts between traditional gender roles and contemporary societal values of equality in heterosexual, same-sex, immigrant, and intercultural relationships

 

Presenter: Goli Bellinger, M.S.W., LICSW, LCSW-C

Friday, March 31, 9:00 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. 3 CE credits

We value equality in this nation, and for our world. This value underpins the Relationship Enhancement (RE) model which includes mutual understanding and respect.  Yet when couples share a household, the contemporary emphasis on the value of equality may lead to conflicts in the relationship, whether conscious or subconscious. This workshop will focus on complex ways the concepts of traditional gender roles and modern gender values lead to discourse in couples. Ideas of gender equality will be explored and contrasted with traditional values of the equitable division of labor. Case studies will illustrate various ways conflicts arise across diverse populations and sexual identity, as uncovered by deepening dialogue and empathy through the structured RE dialogue process. Finally, this session will present how to guide conflict management and problem solving by combining the values of equality and equity to help couples balance household and family responsibilities.  

Learning Objectives: Participants completing this workshop will be able to:  

1.    Identify cultural theories of the values of equality and equity. 
2.    Differentiate individual needs from cultural expectations and perceptions within various  couple populations, including immigrant, intercultural, and same-sex couples.
3.    Utilize deepening dialogues to reach the core concerns and unique needs of each individual, regardless of expectations driven by gender roles or societal values.
4.    Guide and help couples discover and identify what works best for their life and goals. 

Goli Amin Bellinger, M.S.W., is a couples therapist in Washington DC. Together with Mary Ortwein, she created the program Relationship Enhancement® for Refugees and Immigrants at the U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants. She also consults on mental health and family trauma with immigrant and asylum-seeking populations, including as adjunct faculty at University of Maryland School of School Work.

 

A Salad of Integrity: Resolving Ethical Questions When Working from an Educational Model in a Medical Model Profession

Presenter: Mary Ortwein, M.S., LMFT

Friday, March 31, 2:00 – 5:15 p.m. 3 CE Credits

When Bernard Guerney wrote Psychotherapeutic Agents: New Roles for Nonprofessionals, Teachers, and Parents in 1969, he became a leader that moved psychology away from the Medical Model of Sigmund Freud toward the Educational Model anticipated by the work of Carl Rogers and the behaviorists. While elements of the Educational Model have remained strong in mental health, the acceptance of medical insurance billing by clinicians, beginning in the 1980s, now makes the assignment of a Medical Model DSM diagnosis the initial standard operating procedure for mental health treatment.
What issues does this raise for those who work from an Educational Model—or who integrate elements of the Educational Model with elements of the Medical Model, or even a Spiritual Model? How can these issues be resolved in ways that preserve both ethical and theoretical integrity? This workshop will explore these questions.
After an initial review of Bernard Guerney’s Educational Model, the model will be examined in light of contemporary clinical practice. Four potential slippery slopes for ethical or theoretical compromise will be examined: the presence of severe mental health symptoms when using the RE model with couples; medical insurance billing; best practices which include doing Educational Model interventions from a Medical Model theory; and working as part of collaborative medical model treatment teams. Criteria for maintaining ethical practice and theoretical integrity will be proposed, discussed, and applied for each of these situations as part of the workshop. The workshop will include both lecture and participant discussion.

Learning Objectives: Participants completing this workshop will be able to:

1.    Identify client situations where ethical guidelines or the Educational Model may be compromised in contemporary mental health practice
2.    Identify criteria for evaluating situations that might lead to ethical or theoretical compromises
3.    Apply the criteria to specific scenarios to preserve both ethical and theoretical integrity

Mary Ortwein, M.S., LMFT, has provided Educational Model therapy and supervision for more than 25 years in a variety of settings, including training and supervision of more than 60 beginning therapists. Mary currently is director of IDEALS for Families and Communities in Frankfort, Kentucky. Co-author with Bernard Guerney of numerous Relationship Enhancement® materials, she is also author of Mastering the Magic of Play: A Handbook for Parents, which was first developed from her work teaching Filial Therapy to parents who often had multiple mental health diagnoses.


Dinner, Friday Night,

​March 31​
, 6:30 p.m. Dutch Treat.

Following the Friday afternoon workshop, those who are interested will go out together as a group for dinner for fun, relaxation and an opportunity to connect with friends and colleagues. If you are interested in joining the group for dinner: Please be certain to sign up on the Registration Form. Advance payment is not necessary, but we do need to be able to give an accurate count to the restaurant.
 

Filial Play Therapy in Non-group Settings: Navigating the Unique Challenges

Presenter: Sharon Bryant, LMFT, RPT

Discussants: Louise Guerney, Ph.D., Julie Dodson, M.A., Nicole Bryan, M.S.

Saturday, April 1, 9:00 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. 3 CE credits

Filial Play Therapy is a tried and true model for creating systematic change for the entire family. Research has shown that Filial Therapy not only provides children with a variety of therapeutic benefits, but it also strengthens the parent-child bond and attachment. Traditionally, Filial Therapy has been promoted for group settings, but it can also be effective on an individual basis. However, the use of Filial Therapy with individual clients can pose unique challenges. Clinicians are often faced with many methodological decisions: Do I start this family with Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) or with Filial Therapy. How will I know when to transition from CCPT to Filial Therapy? Do I involve the whole family or just one parent and child dyad? Do I have them start sessions in the office or begin with videotaped sessions at home? Although there are no black and white answers to these questions, we will talk about some factors that can help one make these decisions. Once clinicians determine the best methodology, another unique challenge arises: the need to compensate for the lack of group support. We’ll talk about various, creative techniques that can help clinicians navigate this challenge and foster a learning process. With the use of real cases, participants will have the opportunity to practice making decisions and providing encouragement to parents learning Filial Therapy.   

Participants completing this workshop will be able to:

1. Address the unique challenges involved when using Filial Play Therapy with individuals
2. Identify factors pertinent to methodological decisions regarding use of Filial Play Therapy with individual families
3. Gain fresh ideas for how to compensate for lack of group support

Sharon Bryant, LMFT, RPT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and received her masters in Marriage and Family Counseling from Asbury Theological Seminary. She is certified in Child-Centered Play Therapy and Filial Therapy and also is a Registered Play Therapist.  She enjoys providing services to children, adolescents, families, individuals, and couples and currently works in a group private practice called Spring Tree Counseling in the Chicago area.

Louise Guerney, Ph.D., is co-creator with Bernard Guerney, Ph.D. of Filial Family Therapy. She also is author of Parenting: A Skills Training Manual (published by IDEALS/NIRE), a nationally recognized and widely used parenting program and, together with Virginia Ryan, of Group Filial Therapy (Jessica Kingsley, 2013).

Julie Dodson, M.A., LMFT, is a counselor at Avenues for Women, where she serves women and couples, providing counseling for pregnancy options, relationships, resiliency, and trauma resolution. Julie is certified in both Child-Centered Play Therapy and Filial Therapy. She earned a Masters in Mental Health Counseling from Asbury Theological Seminary in 2012.

Nicole Bryan, M.S., is a licensed clinical professional counselor.  She is in private practice in Chevy Chase, MD and a part of Weaver and Associates in McLean, VA. She specializes in treating children, adolescents and families, and has been trained in CCPT and Filial Therapy.

 

When Change is Slow: Addressing Parent Concerns During the Child-Centered Play/Filial Therapy Process

Presenter: Ian Masson, M.S.

Saturday, April 1, 2:00 – 5:15 p.m. 3 CE Credits

The process of therapy can be complex, involved, and sometimes longer than anticipated. When this occurs during play or filial therapies it can lead to frustration or anxiety on the part of the parent. The ability of the counselor to maintain the therapeutic relationship with the parent(s) and address their concerns becomes critical during these times. Therapists must be able to respond  in a non-defensive manner with empathy and at the same time clearly explain the play therapy process. Furthermore, the ability of the therapist to identify needs of the family or parent(s) and make appropriate recommendations becomes critical in order to address the parents’ concern regarding perceived “lack of progress” with the process. A therapist can further continued progress by making additional recommendations such as parenting skills training or transitioning from Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) to Filial Therapy. The ability to respond empathically while also providing a sense of hope for the future based on relevant explanations and/or recommendations becomes essential. 

Participants completing this workshop will be able to:   

1. Identify common concerns of parents at various phases during the CCPT or Filial play process
2. Apply the skill of empathic responding to ensure continued development of the therapeutic alliance
3. Provide explanations of the rationale and procedures of CCPT or Filial Therapy in response to parent concerns
4. Make appropriate recommendations based on concerns parents share during the process

Ian Masson, M.S., is a resident in counseling at Chrysalis Counseling Centers in Culpeper, VA. Ian received his certification in Child-Centered Play Therapy through NIRE and primarily works with children. Ian also oversees the Intensive Therapeutic Parenting Program at Chrysalis, a service that seeks to develop child-centered parenting skills through use of Dr. Louise Guerney's Parenting: A Skills Training Manual.
 

Registration Information

Location: The RE and Filial Therapy Conference  annual meeting and workshops will be held at the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE) conference suite on the Roof level of the Topaz House at 4400 East-West Highway, Bethesda, MD. The Topaz House is located six miles from the White House and Georgetown. NIRE is less than three blocks from the Bethesda metro stop.

Parking: Parking on Friday may be available at the Topaz House’s underground garage on a first come first served basis. There is a public parking lot at East-West Highway and Waverly Street, a block and a half from the Topaz House. Be certain to bring plenty of quarters for the public parking lot. The cost is $.75 per hour in long term parking; plan on 9 hours, i.e., $6.75[To be safe, bring a roll of quarters, as parking rates may have gone up.] Parking is free on Saturday. On Saturday parking should be easier at Topaz House, and is free at the public parking lot.

Schedule: Each workshop will be 3 hours long. There will be one 15 minute break during each workshop.  

Refreshments: Starting at 8:40 a.m., and available all day, each day, there will be a sidebar with fruit, coffee and tea, soda, and snacks.

CE Credits: IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for each program and its content. NIRE has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 5560. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. NIRE is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the Maryland State Board of Social Workers to offer Category 1 continuing education programs for social workers. NIRE also is approved by the Association for Play Therapy to offer continuing education specific to play therapy. APT Approved Provider 95-009. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for the program. 

Each workshop will earn attendees 3 CE credits. 

A Certificate will be issued to you attesting to your completion of each workshop attended and documenting the CE credits you have earned.

Cost: The fee for each 3-hour workshop is $60. The fee for currently enrolled, full-time graduate students is $10.00 for each workshop, or $30 for all four workshops.

Lunch: Lunch each day is the responsibility of each participant, though arrangements will be made to provide lunch on Saturday for those who wish. The cost will be $10.00 per person. Please see the registration form below for details.

Optional Friday Night Dinner (Dutch Treat): Many participants at past RE and Filial Therapy Conference annual meeting workshops have enjoyed each others company over dinner at a restaurant in Bethesda. We will do the same this year, on Friday,

​March 31​
 at 6:30 p.m. While prepayment is not necessary, it is necessary for planning purposes to know who plans to attend, so please indicate on the registration form that you would like to attend the dinner so that we can make appropriate arrangements and reserve table space for our group. Some participants may also choose to go out to dinner on Saturday evening, but that will not be a formally organized event.

Travel: For those coming by air: NIRE is 15 miles from Washington National, 22 miles from Baltimore-Washington, and 18 miles from Dulles Airports. For those coming by car: NIRE is two miles south of the Connecticut Avenue exit or the Wisconsin Avenue exit of the Beltway (I-495).

Municipal parking is very close and is free on Saturday (at Waverly and East-West Highway). Be certain to bring plenty of quarters to feed the meter for parking on Friday. The cost is $.75 per hour in long term parking; plan on 9 hours, i.e., $6.75. (To be safe, bring a roll of quarters!) Parking is free on Saturday. All registrants will be sent a map detailing how to reach NIRE.

Accommodations: Discounted hotel rooms are available at the Bethesda Court Hotel. To secure the discounted rate, please call 1-800-874-0050 and ask for the “NIRE” rate, which for 2016 is $129 per night Thursday through Sunday, plus a $15.00 per night fee for parking. This discounted rate is available until the hotel reaches a certain point of capacity for the respective dates, so you are advised to make reservations as early as possible. Information about alternative accommodations can be provided when you register.

For Further Information about arrangements, call the NIRE Administrative Office at 301-680-8977.

 

RegistrationTo register, please

(1) call NIRE at 301-680-8977 

(2) send your Registration Form by fax to 1-502-226-7088

or (3) mail your Registration Form and check to: NIRE, 4400 East-West Highway #24, Bethesda, MD 20814-4501.

Caution: Do not send credit card information via email.

Registration Form

AFREM Special Workshops Registration Form

 

 

We look forward to seeing you there!

Rob Scuka, Ph.D.
Executive Director
National Institute of Relationship Enhancement®



powered by phplist v 2.10.18, © phpList ltd
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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1126694 2017-01-27T21:16:41Z 2017-01-27T21:16:41Z Fwd: PAF grant announcement to move your work forward!


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dixie Zittlow <dixie@dibbleinstitute.org>
Date: Fri, Jan 27, 2017 at 2:27 PM
Subject: PAF grant announcement to move your work forward!
To: Friend <billcoffin68@gmail.com>




Exciting news to start out 2017!

The Office of Adolescent Health (OAH) has announced Support for Expectant and Parenting Teens, Women, Fathers, and Their Families, a new round of Pregnancy Assistance Fund (PAF) grants for states and tribal governments.

According to OAH, Love Notes is one of only six programs approved as an evidence-based program for the sexuality education portion of this grant.

Plus, Love Notes meets several grant requirements in just one program. (See chart below)

You may find this a perfect opportunity to connect with your State or Tribal agency that manages programs for pregnant and parenting teens to encourage them to apply for this grant and include you as a partner.

OAH expects applicants to provide a continuum of quality, supportive services, adopting a holistic and integrated approach with a special focus on marginalized sub-populations through five core services domains:

1. Personal Health (including sexuality education)
2. Child Health
3. Self Sufficiency, Education and Employment
4. Concrete Supports
5. Parenting Support

Feel free to forward our PAF grant toolkit because it will make writing the application much easier.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can be of assistance.

Kind regards,

Dixie

P.S. You may already be working in some of these domains and want to further your work with another population or in another venue. Sharing this information with your State or Tribal office can move both of your goals forward.


Dixie Zittlow | Director of Outreach
The Dibble Institute | A mission-driven nonprofit
PO Box 7881 | Berkeley, CA 94707-0881
Phone: 800-695-7975 | Direct: 920-664-6066
www.DibbleInstitute.org | Dixie@DibbleInstitute.org
Keep in touch with The Dibble Institute through our new Facebook page.
PO Box 7881, Berkeley, California 94707, United States
You may unsubscribe or change your contact details at any time.
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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1126358 2017-01-26T20:22:01Z 2017-01-26T20:22:01Z Fwd: How to get media coverage


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Thu, Jan 26, 2017 at 2:59 PM
Subject: How to get media coverage
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


NMW header
You can get media coverage for your marriage work!  Here's how
Hi friends,

You can utilize National Marriage Week USA, from Feb. 7 to 14, to get local press coverage for the work you do to strengthen marriages! It is a great time to get your local newspaper, radio and TV news stations to pay attention!

TIPS:
1)      Click for this fill-in-the blanks press release that you can send to your local radio, TV or newspaper.
2)      Do a google search for how to contact your local newspaper, radio stations, cable or local TV stations.  Pick up the phone and talk to an editor or  find out the best person to be in touch with to cover your marriage event.  Talk it up!  How will your work benefit the community? Follow up with an email of your event flyer, info or press release.
3)      To get more attention, mention that February 7 to 14 is National Marriage Week USA--a positive time to celebrate marriage and help people find more success!
4)      Do it soon! Right now is the perfect time to reach out because the media likes to plan in advance....and February 7 to 14 is just two weeks away!

For encouragement, WATCH this 3-minute TV sampler, that contains a bit of national coverage, but also some local coverage in Richmond, VA so that you can see how your efforts can be highlighted.
 
Click for our ONE PAGE printable fact sheet that can also help you pitch your story.
 
Please let us know about any local coverage you receive!

And, as always, don't forget to put your event information on our online
Yours for strengthening marriage
,

Sheila Weber, Executive Director
Heather Grizzle, Campaign Manager



National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.

Like us on Facebook   Follow us on Twitter
National Marriage Week USA, 115 E 62nd Street, New York, NY 10065
Sent by sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact
]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1126327 2017-01-26T18:12:50Z 2017-01-26T18:12:50Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. VA Giving Strength to Couples in Crisis

Tom Cramer



or 

Things You Need to Know About Depression


Sex and Military Marriage: It's Complicated

Corie Weathers









2. The Curious Curriculum of the 1950s Red Cross 'Bride Schools'










3. Bill would boost cost of marriage license by $20, fund premarital counseling
















OR

Teaching in the Age of Selfies







5. Relationship Meltdown in Ikea







6. Relationship education helps couples





7. Vulnerability of families with children: experts’ opinions about the future and what families think about it


 Bernhard Riederer, Dimiter Philipov and Bernhard Rengs







8. NEW Podcasts: "Engaging Fathers: Part 1 and 2"
NFCM Image

Fathers and paternal family members play a crucial role in children's growth and development. Child welfare agencies, however, may have difficulty connecting with and engaging noncustodial fathers and paternal family members. There are many local and national fatherhood organizations that can provide services and support to child welfare agencies to improve their ability to successfully engage fathers and paternal family members and support those family members in establishing permanency and safety for their children.

Child Welfare Information Gateway has developed a three-part podcast series on engaging fathers and working with fatherhood organizations. We've recently released Part 1 and Part 2 in the series, which features a conversation with leaders of local fatherhood organizations in which they share their perspectives and insights on the following:

  • Examining fathers' value in the lives of their children
  • Creating a father-friendly child welfare system
  • Locating noncustodial fathers in your community
  • Partnering with fatherhood organizations as a resource to support child welfare practice
  • Sharing the often unheard perspective of fathers

Both podcasts are available to download on the Children's Bureau website. Stay tuned for Part 3 in February 2017.






9. Marriage Week UK







10. “Netflix and Chill?”: Are Friends With Benefits Relationships the New Norm?

James Stein​






11. Americans are having fewer kids. Are housing costs to blame?





Thanks Alysse








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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1125706 2017-01-24T19:03:49Z 2017-01-24T19:03:49Z Fwd: [New post] Like it was part of his name


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: SIMCHA FISHER <comment-reply@wordpress.com>
Date: Tue, Jan 24, 2017 at 11:22 AM
Subject: [New post] Like it was part of his name
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


simchajfisher posted: " My husband and I both work at our computers off and on throughout the day, and we email back and forth a lot.  Every once in a while, I get what looks like an empty message from him -- just a series of dots in a box.  This makes me  laugh every time, be"
Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on SIMCHA FISHER

Like it was part of his name

by simchajfisher

naples_-_old_couple_1890s

My husband and I both work at our computers off and on throughout the day, and we email back and forth a lot.  Every once in a while, I get what looks like an empty message from him -- just a series of dots in a box.  This makes me  laugh every time, because I know what happened:  It's just Gmail being too smart for its own good again.  When you end every email the same way, Gmail thinks it's your signature, and thinks it doesn't have to include it in every email, especially if it's a response to a response to a response to a response to a response.  The recipient must know who it's from by now.  So smart, right?

And so, when I get an empty email from my husband, I know it's because he wrote "I love you."  He says it so often, at the end of so many emails, Gmail thinks it's part of his name.  Gmail thinks that's who he is.

I used to be skeptical of people who dashed off a hasty "I love you" all the time.  "Don't forget to pick up some ketchup and laundry detergent!" -- "'Kay, love you!" Way to cheapen the sentiment, I thought to myself.  Why not save it for when you can say it from the bottom of your heart?  That way, you both know it really means something.

I don't know if I've grown softer or what (mentally, I mean.  Physically, there's no question), but I'll tell you what:  I need it now.  I need to hear him tell me he loves me, over and over again, especially when we're talking about ketchup and laundry detergent and dentist appointments and parent-teacher conferences and taxes and who needs more fiber in their diet.  I need the reminder that he knows who I am, even on the days when, according to our accomplishments, we could easily be replaced by some unskilled laborers and an adding machine.

And I need to hear it when I know he's mad at me.  He writes it then, too.  He always writes it, and he always means it, because that's who he is.  It's almost like it's part of his name.

Husbands and wives, do this for each other.  Say "I love you."  You don't have to do it all the time, but do it!  Don't let it go unsaid.  We all need to say it, we all need to hear it.  And, if we want to stay married, we have to act like we mean it.

***

[This post originally ran at the National Catholic Register in 2013.]

Image: Anonymous (Old postcard) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

simchajfisher | January 24, 2017 at 4:22 pm | Tags: love, marriage, my husband | Categories: Uncategorized | URL: http://wp.me/p7UCly-xPn
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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1124580 2017-01-20T00:02:39Z 2017-01-20T00:02:39Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. ‘I Wasn’t There To Help’: Dad With Newborn Struggles With Lack Of Leave






2. An Evidence-Based Strategy for Bringing Everyone Together







3. 4 Proven Strategies for Teaching Empathy


















5. Upcoming CREDO Events






6. Remarriage ratio hits record high in 2015 / Late marriage seen behind chronically low birthrate







7. Differences that once were appealing may lead to problems in a marriage

Danielle BraffChicago Tribune






8. Millennials ditching marriage and church?













10. More than half of parents who split now unmarried






Thanks Alysse










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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1124492 2017-01-19T19:11:42Z 2017-01-19T19:11:42Z Fwd: Hurry, LAST weekend for Buy 1, Get 1 FREE!


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From: FamilyLife <email@email.familylife.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 19, 2017 at 2:07 PM
Subject: Hurry, LAST weekend for Buy 1, Get 1 FREE!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 
Last Weekend for Spouses Go FREE!  View in your browser
 
FamilyLife
 
 
Weekend to Remember BOGO
 

Hurry, LAST weekend for Buy 1, Get 1 FREE!

Don't procrastinate. If you want to have a GREAT marriage, you have to be intentional about it. Find out what so many thousands of couples have already discovered: with God's help and the right communication tools, any marriage can be restored.  

Because great marriages don't just happen, sign up NOW for your Weekend to Remember getaway. Hurry! BOGO ends Monday, Jan 23rd.
 
Use Group Name or Promo Code: BOGO at checkout.
 

 


Weekend to Remember Changes Lives


 

 

 

Adrift in Marriage

We wanted to stay married but didn't know how.

When Jerry and Olivia Dugan got married, they pledged lifelong commitment to one another. After all, they each knew firsthand how divorce rips families apart. They had individually vowed, "I will never do that to my children." ... read their story.
 
 
 

I Wanted Him to Die

We gave Weekend to Remember a chance.

Brad and Cindy had been married for less than three years, but something was very wrong with their relationship. Brad had not been himself and Cindy suspected that he was involved with another woman... read their story.
 

 

 

Great Marriages Don't Just Happen...

 
Great Marriages Don't Just Happen...
 

FamilyLife


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FLTI, dba FamilyLife, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation and all gifts are tax deductible as allowed by law.

 

 
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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1124092 2017-01-18T13:52:39Z 2017-01-18T13:52:40Z Fwd: The ONE word that changes everything for your marriage
Great book!



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Marriage & Family Newsletter <newsletter@lists.christianitytoday.com>
Date: Tue, Jan 17, 2017 at 9:00 PM
Subject: The ONE word that changes everything for your marriage
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


ChristianityToday.orgDonate

When it comes to marriage, we talk a lot about love-but what does it mean to cherish? Why do we say it once at the wedding and then rarely even mention it again? These are the questions Gary Thomas answers in Cherish. In it, you'll discover why relationships excel and joy skyrockets when we choose to cherish the person we married. Available wherever books are sold. Video Study available January 24, 2017.

Why am I receiving this?
You received this email because your email address, billcoffin68@gmail.com, is subscribed to receive newsletters, updates, and special offers from Christianity Today and our sponsors. If you prefer not to receive promotional emails, please use this opt-out link.

Marriage & Family Newsletter
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Copyright ©2017 ChristianityToday.org, Christianity Today, 465 Gundersen Drive, Carol Stream, IL 60188.
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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1122719 2017-01-12T21:02:58Z 2017-01-12T21:02:58Z Candidates for Friday Five
Explore this fact sheet to learn more about the six healthy marriage and relationship education programs participating in STREAMS.







​3. Watch NCFR Fellow (and 2018 Program Chair) Bahira Sherif Trask's Tedx Talk - "Blending Work and Family: You are not alone"

"We have a crisis on our hands. Most of us spend so much time working that we barely have time for our family lives," says Bahira Sherif Trask, Ph.D., in this fascinating Tedx Talk titled "Blending Work and Family: You are not alone."

Watch and listen as she provides insight on how we got here and what we can do about it.







4. Healthy Relationship Program Influences: Evidence for Understanding How Healthy Relationship Programs May Influence Intimate Partner Violence






5. Is There the “Sweet Spot” for Age at Marriage and Positive Marital Outcomes?




6. Programme to help young couples stay married






7. Why you will (eventually) marry the right person

Danielle Teller





8. Will young men break America’s family structure?







9. Every couple can use these four lessons from pre-marriage counseling

 Jon Gorey 





10. Divorce declining and marriages 'more successful' as Australians marry later in life








11. Three New Year's Resolutions for Your Marriage

Anne Gagliano





Thanks Alysse






































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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1122365 2017-01-11T13:58:56Z 2017-01-11T13:58:57Z Fwd: Because You're Better Together


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From: FamilyLife <email@email.familylife.com>
Date: Wed, Jan 11, 2017 at 8:00 AM
Subject: Because You're Better Together
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 
Spouses Go FREE! View in your browser
 
FamilyLife
 
 
Because marriage takes two, spouses go free.
 

Buy One, Get One FREE Marriage Getaway- Now Thru Jan 23rd

 
Great marriages don't just happen, and if you're not intentionally growing together, statistics show you will likely grow apart. Here's your opportunity to invest in your relationship and save money at the same time - but only until Jan 23rd. Don't let this opportunity get away! Sign up TODAY. Use Your Group Name or Promo Code: (BOGO) at Checkout.

 

 
 
 


Weekend to Remember Spring Destination Events

 
Weekend to Remember holds over 80 events across the country each year. Every event is special in its own way. But for couples desiring a true resort experience, we offer premium marriage getaways in some of this country's most scenic tourist destinations. Ready for something "extra" special? Check these out!   
 
Jacksonville
Jacksonville 4/7-9
 
Newport
Newport 4/7-9
 
 


Priceless Results for Half the Price

 
"This getaway opened the channels of communication that lead to many arguments in the past. Sitting in sessions together broke down walls and let us discuss the material presented amicably. For the first time in a long time, I feel like we are on the same page and unified for the same goal. God first, us second, and leaving a lasting legacy for our children." -Wife, married 7 years
 
 
"This is our second time to a Weekend to Remember. When we came to our first one in Lincoln, Nebraska last year, we already had signed divorce papers. During that weekend, we began to allow Christ into our lives, and to fortify our love for one another. We are here again, not to save our marriage, but to continue growing a better one." -Husband, married 3 years
 
 
 
watch this!
 

FamilyLife


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FLTI, dba FamilyLife, is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation and all gifts are tax deductible as allowed by law.

 

 
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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1120919 2017-01-06T01:49:43Z 2017-01-06T01:49:43Z Re: Candidates for Friday Five

Timothy S. Goeglein   



o
​r

HOW GREAT WAS THE GREAT SOCIETY?










9. 

HOW TO GROW OLD









10. 

60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll: Marriage






On Thu, Jan 5, 2017 at 1:11 PM, Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com> wrote:
1. Cohabitation and Intimate Partner Violence During Emerging Adulthood

High Constraints and Low Commitment







2. 

2016 Highlights in

Youth Relationship Education

Trends, Tools, Research, and More! 


When: Wednesday, January 11, 4:00 pm Eastern/
1:00 pm Pacific

Duration: 60 minutes 
Cost: Free!

Register NOW! by clicking on this link.





3. 

Growing Need for Premarital Counseling






4. 

The James Marshall Public Policy Fellowship

http://www.spssi.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=page.viewPage&pageID=747&nodeID=1





5. 

Using Relationship and Marriage Education to Strengthen Families






























































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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1120814 2017-01-05T18:11:41Z 2017-01-05T18:11:41Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. Cohabitation and Intimate Partner Violence During Emerging Adulthood

High Constraints and Low Commitment







2. 

2016 Highlights in

Youth Relationship Education

Trends, Tools, Research, and More! 


When: Wednesday, January 11, 4:00 pm Eastern/
1:00 pm Pacific

Duration: 60 minutes 
Cost: Free!

Register NOW! by clicking on this link.





3. 

Growing Need for Premarital Counseling






4. 

The James Marshall Public Policy Fellowship

http://www.spssi.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=page.viewPage&pageID=747&nodeID=1





5. 

Using Relationship and Marriage Education to Strengthen Families






























































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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1120796 2017-01-05T17:06:28Z 2017-01-05T17:06:28Z Fwd: Marriage Unique for a Reason: January 2017 Newsletter


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From: USCCB Marriage: Unique for a Reason <marriageuniqueforareason@usccb.org>
Date: Thu, Jan 5, 2017 at 11:20 AM
Subject: Marriage Unique for a Reason: January 2017 Newsletter
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com






The U.S. Bishops are encouraging Catholics throughout the country to offer their Friday acts of sacrifice and penance for the protection of Life, Marriage, and Religious Liberty.
 
Click here for more information.

Like us on Facebook
Talking Point
No religious exemption - no matter how broadly worded - can justify a supportive or neutral position on the redefinition of marriage (see CDF, 1992, no. 16). Such "redefinition" is always fundamentally unjust, and religious exemptions may even facilitate the passage of such unjust laws. Protecting marriage protects religious liberty; the two are inseparable.
Catechesis Corner 
"We must remember that, of its very nature, civil authority exists, not to confine its people within the boundaries of their nation, but rather to protect, above all else the common good of that particular civil society, which certainly cannot be divorced from the common good of the entire human family." Pacem in Terris, #98
For Your Marriage

For news and current events pertaining to marriage, visit the
 page on the For Your Marriage website.
Quick Links
Stay Connected

Like us on Facebook   Follow us on Twitter

January 2017

Made for the Common Good

The final video for the MUR series has been completed and posted online! Made for the Common Good explores the unique and necessary contribution that the marriage of one man and one woman brings to society. 

This nine-minute piece features personal witness stories as well as expert testimony on the effects of married mothers and fathers on children and on the community as a whole.

Please share this video with your connections, whether in person or through social media. 
Made for Freedom


We continue the catechesis series on our video Made for Freedom. It features clips from the video followed by a short commentary and a challenge based on what was said.
In addition, be aware of the study guide and the suggestions for a parish evening or classroom viewing!
Next, we will be doing the same thing with segments from Made for Each Other.
Committee Update
 
Archbishop Cordileone's term as the Subcommittee Chairman ended in November, and Bishop Conley of Lincoln, Nebraska has been appointed as the new chairman. Welcome, Bishop Conley!
Judicial Updates
 
The Arkansas State Supreme Court threw out a previous judge's ruling that a person in a same-sex "marriage" whose "spouse" gives birth could automatically be placed in the position of a biological parent on that child's birth certificate. The court thus agreed with the state attorney general that the state has an interest in natural parentage.

The 6th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against an Ohio school district that requested relief from an injunction requiring a school to allow a boy to use the girls' facilities.

In Summers vs. Whitis, an Indiana federal district court ruled that an Indiana County Clerk did not violate Title VII of the Civil Rights Act by firing a deputy clerk who refused to issue marriage licenses for same-sex couples because of her religious convictions. The judge, in explaining how he saw no conflict between the deputy clerk's religious beliefs and her job, noted that the clerk did not have to "express religious approval or condone any particular marriage. Summers remained free to practice her Christian faith and attend church services. She was even free to maintain her belief that marriage is a union between one man and one woman."

On December 31st, a Texas court struck down the HHS's "transgender mandate" that was challenged by eight states, a doctors' association, and a Catholic hospital system.
Legislation in the 115th Congress

 
The USCCB expects to support the First Amendment Defense Act and the Child Welfare Provider Inclusion Act in the next Congress. 

Take Action Now! by visiting this link and urge your representatives to support and co-sponsor this vital legislation.
Pope Francis

In his general audience on December 14, Pope Francis spoke of our Advent waiting for the Child Jesus. He offers a reflection of what we learn from a God who became a Baby:

"And seeing the little Babe of Bethlehem, the little ones of the world will know that the promise has been fulfilled, the message has been realized. Enclosed in a newly born child, needy of everything, wrapped in swaddling clothes and placed in a manger, is the whole power of the God that saves. Christmas is a day to open the heart: it is necessary to open one's heart to so much littleness, which is there in that Baby, and to so much wonder. It is the wonder of Christmas, for which we are preparing, with hope, in this Season of Advent. It is the surprise of a Child God, of a poor God, of a weak God, of a God who abandons His greatness to make himself close to each one of us." 

May this Christmas season help families to appreciate the gift of life and the salvation that Christ won for us!
Marriage: Unique for a Reason is an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). It offers resources to assist with the education and catechesis of Catholics on why marriage is unique and why it should be promoted and protected as the union of one man and one woman. Questions or comments, contact: MarriageUniqueForAReason@usccb.org

Copyright © 2016 All Rights Reserved.

USCCB, 3211 Fourth Street NE, Washington, DC 20017-1194
Sent by marriageuniqueforareason@usccb.org in collaboration with
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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1119704 2017-01-01T17:59:24Z 2017-01-01T17:59:25Z Fwd: Marriage Foundation news


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Harry Benson <harry.benson@virgin.net>
Date: Sun, Jan 1, 2017 at 12:50 PM
Subject: Marriage Foundation news
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Modern Marriage
View this email in your browser

What Mums Want (And Dads Need To Know)

A very happy new year all!

Twenty years. Dozens of research papers. Hundreds of media appearances. Thousands of couples. And all my work comes down to this .... 

On 20 January, Kate and I launch our new book 'What Mums Want (and Dads Need To Know)'. Everything we've learnt and experienced along the way is in here! 

Let's get the bad news out of the way first.

  • Just under half of all our teenagers are not living with both natural parents.
  • Two out of three couples who had just split up had also said they were happy and not arguing much one year earlier.
  • Half of all intact parents say they are 'happy' now, but not 'very happy'

So here's the good news. Can we do a whole lot better than this?  Of course we can.

There's a common denominator among happy families that is absent among unhappy families and families that split up.

It is the friendship between mum and dad.

More specifically, it is the presence of a dad who is mum-oriented, who is interested in mum and the children, and who is kind.  

There's lots of research that shows happy mum makes a happy family. Happy wife, happy life. It's not surprising that mum is the centre of gravity of the family. Nine months of pregnancy automatically hardwires mum to be child-oriented.

So what makes a happy mum? A dad who is mum-oriented. That's what our book is all about.

Embrace this simple but radical idea and we think we could see a lot more happy families and a lot less family breakdown.

Having come back from the brink of divorce ourselves, our own experience mirrors this.

The big change was the realisation that I needed to make our marriage work for Kate. Not for me. Not for the kids. For Kate. I needed to be kind and attentive to Kate. The mental shift was tiny. But the effects were seismic. 

We can teach couples a whole load of relationship skills, and I have run hundreds of courses. We can promote and encourage marriage, which is what Marriage Foundation is all about.

But if we can encourage men to take responsibility for their marriage or relationship, all of these things should happen naturally.

In other words, husbands, love your wives ... and they will love you right back. 

You can read more of our story in the book and in some of the surrounding media coverage that we expect will come out this month. 

The book is aimed primarily at helping all those other Harrys and Kates avoid getting in the mess we did.

It's for you if

  • You want to keep your marriage strong
  • You want things to be better than they are now
  • You want to help friends who are struggling
  • You want to know what makes marriage work

You can pre-order the book here on Amazon, and follow us on Twitter and Facebook.

Wishing you a very happy new year. Enjoy our book and may your own marriage and those around you flourish!

Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation

Read Harry's latest blogs here

The myth of the 'good divorce' 

The hard evidence shows that children see things differently 

Continue reading →

Does religion help couples stay together?

Marriage makes Christian mums happier and more stable. Muslim mums do even better. 

Continue reading →

Legal rights for cohabiting couples

... will cause far more problems than they solve. 

Continue reading →

Proof that occasional date nights work ... 

...but only if you're married 

Continue reading →

Marriage Foundation quoted on the front page of the Times! 

The case for marriage - The basics

Stuff that everyone should know 

Continue reading →

No trouble! Why our 29th year has been the best

For years, it was the bane of our marriage. But finally, we sorted it.

Continue reading →

The Marriage Gap

The rich marry (and stay together). The poor don't.

Continue reading →

Get married before you have a child: The hard evidence

If there was ever any doubt, our new study based on the best new UK data dispels it. 

Continue reading 

Staying together in a 'hopelessly unhappy' marriage

It's twenty years ago that Kate invited me to a meeting about our marriage ... my most read blog

Continue reading 

marriagefoundation
marriagefoundation
@MarriageF
@MarriageF
marriagefoundation.org.uk
marriagefoundation.org.uk
If you'd like to add your name to Harry's list, just click here to subscribe
Unhappy Families?

What may be obvious to parents isn’t always obvious to children.

There's good evidence that happy parents mean happy kids. But it’s less clear that children respond negatively to parental unhappiness.

What they do see is conflict and its absence.

The two family settings that are most destructive to children are ‘high conflict’ relationships that remain intact and ‘low conflict’ relationships that break-up. The former may be self-evident. The latter is not, because children don’t see it coming.

Just before Christmas, at the request of The Times, we compiled some estimates for the number of children living in unhappy families. They ran the story on Boxing Day

We started with the analysis we did last year, using the household survey Understanding Society, of how happy couples were with their relationship and how often they quarrelled.

We identified couples in one of three categories: those who reported they were at least somewhat happy, those who said they were unhappy but not quarrelling excessively, and those who were both unhappy and in a high state of conflict.

Applying these proportions to the latest population data gives us a good estimate of the number of children who will spend Christmas in couple households that can be described as “happy”, “unhappy” or in “conflict”.

Although 90% of households are essentially happy, over 1 million children will have spent Christmas in a household that is unhappy.

How stressful this is for the children most likely depends on whether it is accompanied by high levels of parental conflict, which is the case for some 194,000 children.

Marriage Foundation in the news
 
Star performer in December was Sir Paul Coleridge who appeared on ITV's Good Morning Britain and then on BBC2's Victoria Derbyshire show to talk about changes in divorce law. Between Paul and I, we then managed a series of interviews on falling divorce rates on Skynews, Premier and talkRadio along with quotes in the Telegraph, Mail, Times and Express. There was also a comment about stepfamilies in the Mail and finally our figures on children in unhappy households in the Times.

Since our launch in May 2012, we have appeared on BBC News, BBC Newsnight, Channel 4 and 5 News, ITV This Morning, BBC Radio 4 Today programme and You & Yours, BBC Radio 2 Jeremy Vine, and many other stations. 

Most of our newspaper coverage in the major national newspapers can be found here
 
The Marriage Foundation is a registered charity.
No 1150453


(If you'd like to support our work, you can make a one-off donation online or a regular donation by contacting our office on 0203 291 0912)
 
Our latest research papers
 
Our aim is to rebuild confidence in marriage. And there's nothing quite like good solid data and top notch research to dispel myths and help create the conditions for change.

Here are a few of our findings and the headlines they made: 

Does religion help couples stay together? 
BlogReport - Sun - Telegraph 

Date nights strengthen marriages 
BlogReport - Sunday Times - Mail - Sun - Guardian 

The Marriage Gap in Europe 
Report

Teen Self Esteem 
Report - Telegraph - Mail - Sun - Express

Vanishing Divorce 
Blog - Report - Sunday TimesTelegraph - Mail - Sun - StarGlamour

Celebrity Divorce 
Blog - Report - Telegraph - Mail - Sun

Happy Families: Men Behaving Better 
Blog Report - Sunday Times - Mail - Guardian - Sun

The Marriage Gap 
Blog - Report 1 - Report 2Sunday Telegraph - Times 
Telegraph 
Daily Mail - Church Times - Libby Purves

The cost to Britain's children of the trend away from marriage 
Blog Report Times 
Telegraph Daily Mail - Guardian

Get married BEFORE you have children 
Blog Report - Sunday TimesTimes - Telegraph - Daily Mail - Herald

One in three children won't spend Christmas with both parents 
Blog Report - Times

UK lone parent capital of Western Europe 
Blog - Daily Mail

The odds of getting married 
Report - Daily Mail - Telegraph

Early marriages stronger for 8th year running 
Report - Daily Mail

Unmarried parents account for one fifth of couples but half of all family breakdown
Report - Sunday Times front page

The myth of 'long term stable relationships outside marriage
Report - Telegraph

A summary of all our findings
can be found here 
 
 
The Times 

'Beating Poverty' (£)
19th August 2014

'Marriage Material' (£)
30th April 2014

We think these lead editorials in the Times are stunning evidence that we are making significant progress.

 
Copyright © 2017 Harry Benson, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you have previously supported us or taken part in one of Harry's fantastic relationship or parenting courses!

Our mailing address is:
Harry Benson
Pitt Farm
Ford
Wiveliscombe, Somerset TA4 2RH
United Kingdom

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Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1117123 2016-12-21T01:09:14Z 2016-12-21T01:09:14Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. OSRA Research Grant

Supporting Family Research






2. Mothers’ going back to work soon after childbirth poses no harm to children’s development





3. 9 million American men in prime working age can’t find jobs. I’m one of them.

Andy Williams






4. 'High social cost' adults can be predicted from as young as three, says study

Nicola Davis






5. Policies for Families: Is there a Best Practice?

The last policy brief highlights recent research findings of the project “FamiliesAndSocieties” on the current trends in social policies related to families in Europe. It focuses on crucial policy issues related to youth, gender equality and childcare arrangements. The brief also presents suggestions for policy interventions linked to the findings.

 

Read more: www.familiesandsocieties.eu/?page_id=120






6. DIVORCE RATES PLUMMET TO 1975 LEVELS, FINDS MARRIAGE FOUNDATION








see Ron, Kay H and Wade panel from hour 3 (of 8) . Ron says" the
​relationship ed ​
program in OK is a thing of beauty"
​.

followed by Rector in hour 4.  I wasn't there.​






Orli Matlow 






9. Man proposes marriage via brick at Vikings stadium

Darren Rovell





10. Occupational Employment and Wages, May 2015

21-1013 Marriage and Family Therapists





11. 20 Questions to Ask This Holiday Season

Christine Carter



1
​2.
 
2017 Healthy Marriage Conference





Thanks Alysse.  Hope all have a merry Christmas.  





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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1115691 2016-12-15T14:24:38Z 2016-12-15T14:24:38Z Re: Candidates for Friday Five
11. 

RIViR Practice Brief: Evidence for Understanding How Healthy Relationship Programs May Influence Intimate Partner Violence





On Wed, Dec 14, 2016 at 8:52 PM, Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com> wrote:
1. Congressional Briefing Addresses Public Policy to Improve Response to ACEs

ELIZABETH PREWITT





2. Married ... with ritual

JOANNE ISAAC





3. Child Development and Parental Investment: Introduction
Marco Francesconi,
​ ​
James J. Heckman





4. Subjective well-being over the life course: Evidence and policy implications








OR

Loneliness research

http://www.coop.co.uk/loneliness-campaign/research/


OR

Happy families







6. Child Abuse in Army Families Likely Under-Reported: Study

Amy Bushatz




OR



7. University of Maryland to engage school teachers, students in childhood obesity prevention efforts

Andrea K. McDaniels




Also in Baltimore Sun this week



8. A Lengthy, Stable Marriage May Boost Stroke Survival

Amy Norton






9. Communicating Science Effectively
A Research Agenda






10. Teen Pregnancy Prevention Evidence Review of Love Notes






Thanks Alysse

Bill


]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1115559 2016-12-15T01:53:18Z 2016-12-15T01:53:18Z Candidates for Friday Five
1. Congressional Briefing Addresses Public Policy to Improve Response to ACEs

ELIZABETH PREWITT





2. Married ... with ritual

JOANNE ISAAC





3. Child Development and Parental Investment: Introduction
Marco Francesconi,
​ ​
James J. Heckman





4. Subjective well-being over the life course: Evidence and policy implications








OR

Loneliness research

http://www.coop.co.uk/loneliness-campaign/research/


OR

Happy families







6. Child Abuse in Army Families Likely Under-Reported: Study

Amy Bushatz




OR



7. University of Maryland to engage school teachers, students in childhood obesity prevention efforts

Andrea K. McDaniels




Also in Baltimore Sun this week



8. A Lengthy, Stable Marriage May Boost Stroke Survival

Amy Norton






9. Communicating Science Effectively
A Research Agenda






10. Teen Pregnancy Prevention Evidence Review of Love Notes






Thanks Alysse

Bill


]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1115519 2016-12-14T21:29:08Z 2016-12-14T21:29:09Z Fwd: How to Avoid "Divorce Month" - Ethics & Religion Col.


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Wed, Dec 14, 2016 at 4:10 PM
Subject: How to Avoid "Divorce Month" - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,842
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>


Ethics & Religion

December 14, 2016

Column #1,842

How to Avoid “Divorce Month”

By Mike McManus

 

January is the worst “Divorce Month” of the year.  No one wants to file over Christmas.  They want the kids to have a happy time. 

 

Will the children feel better about the divorce in January?  Of course not. 

 

Divorce is the worst event in any child’s life – or that of most adults, for that matter.  Michael Reagan, the adopted son of Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman, experienced their divorce as a boy and wrote about it in his book, Twice Adopted:

 

“Divorce is where two adults take everything that matters to a child – the child’s house, family, security and a sense of being loved and protected – and they smash it all up, leave it in ruins on the floor, then walk out and leave the child to clean up the mess.”

 

Yet half of all marriages in America end in divorce. Children of divorce are three times more likely to be expelled from school or to have a baby as a teenager as are children from intact homes; are five times more apt to live in poverty, six times more likely to commit suicide, and 12 times more apt to be incarcerated, according to the Heritage Foundation.

 

Those who marry a second time have a 70% chance of a second divorce.

 

Therefore, couples with troubled marriages ought to consider five different strategies to restore their marriage for themselves and their children.

 

1.      Marriage Encounter is a weekend retreat that is so powerful, that if every married couple attended it, America’s divorce rate would plunge.  My wife and I attended in 1976 and fell back in love that weekend. It was life-changing.  Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, reported: “Marriage Encounter gave Shirley and me the opportunity to occasion the deepest, most intimate exchange of feelings we had known in 20 years of marriage.” About half of couples attending Marriage Encounter had marriages they described as “average” or “unhappy.”  Yet one study reported that nine in ten couples gave the weekend high marks.  It is not designed for a marriage in deep crisis. (See the Retrouvaille weekend described below.) But it will give virtually all ho-hum to mildly troubled marriages a big booster shot. About 4 million couples have attended over the past five decades.  For more information about one near you go to www.wwme.org.

 

2.      Couple mentoring.  If there’s been adultery which seems like an unforgiveable sin, ask a pastor if he knows a church couple who survived infidelity.  Odds are, he does.  The survivors can say, “This is what we did to restore trust.”  That’s exactly what Couple B needs to hear - not expensive counseling.

 

3.      Retrouvaille is a weekend retreat led by three couples whose marriages nearly failed.  They tell their stories of recovery and are walking parables of hope.  After a talk, they put the men in one room, women in another, and ask them to write for ten minutes on an assigned topic, such as: “What do I have difficulty talking to you about?”  Couples then meet privately, read what each other wrote, and talk.  They return to hear another Lead Couple tell their story, and write to each other on another topic. By Sunday afternoon, couples arms are typically around each other.  Over 150,000 couples have attended Retrouvaille and four of five couples save their marriage! Go to www.retrouvaille.org, look for your state and see when one is scheduled.

 

4.      Stepfamilies normally divorce at a 70% rate.  A child says, “I don’t want a new Mom,” and can make her life so miserable, she leaves.  The answer is to create a Stepfamily Support Group, where couples learn from each other how to make these marriages work.  It works so well 80% are successful.  For a kit to create one, call me:  301 978-7105.

 

5.      Reconciliation is possible even if one spouse insists on a divorce.  Four out of five spouses want to save their marriage, and Marriage 911 is a 12-week workbook course that committed spouses take to win back their mate.  It is taken with a friend of the same gender.  There is a Support Partner Handbook for the friend to know what questions to ask. It is designed to help the committed spouse grow so much, the unhappy partner is won back.  Of 50,000 couples who have taken Marriage 911, about half are able to reconcile. The materials cost only $28.  Call me to order: 301 978-7105.

 

These are all much better options than a divorce in January.

 

_______

Copyright © 2016 Michael J. McManus is President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist. To see past columns go to www.ethicsandreligion.com, and hit Search for any topic.

 

 

 

 

 

****************************************

Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-978-7105

 

]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1114858 2016-12-12T17:27:50Z 2016-12-12T17:50:48Z Fwd: Fw: 2017 Healthy Marriage Conference
 
 
2017 Healthy Marriage Conference
Saturday, March 4th, 2017
Botanic Gardens, Fort Worth
8:00am-4:00pm
 
The Healthy Marriage Healthy Families Coalition of Tarrant County takes great pleasure in inviting you to the sixth annual Healthy Marriage Conference: Dream It, Love It, Live It.  This is our most exciting event of the year, as we welcome incredible speakers on a variety of marriage topics. Bill & Pat Coffin will deliver keynote addresses on showing understanding and skills for strong families, and Paul & Beth Kuhn will provide a keynote address on sexual intimacy and health in marriage. We hope you will spread the word about this affordable opportunity for couples to re-connect and enjoy a day together.
           
More Info?        Healthy Marriage Conference
When?               March 4, 2017. 8am-4pm
Where?             Botanic Gardens of Fort Worth, 3220 Botanic Garden Blvd. Fort Worth, TX 76107
Who?                 Bill & Pat Coffin, Keynote Speaker Couple
                           Paul & Beth Kuhn, Keynote Speaker Couple
                           Other expert speakers and panelists
How much?       Just $60 per couple for a limited time! Early Bird pricing through Valentine’s week!
                           At-the-door price is $90 per couple.
Deadline?          Register before February 18, 2017 for Early Bird pricing!
What do I get?  Breakfast and lunch are included in the registration fee. Parking is free.
           
            
If you have any questions about the conference, please do not hesitate to contact
Stephanie Warren at swarren@theparentingcenter.org.

]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1113647 2016-12-07T18:42:08Z 2016-12-07T18:42:08Z Candidates for Friday Five (on Wed !)
1. Making the Case for Evidence-Based Decision-Making

 Jennifer Brooks



OR

Heritage Foundation Endorses Increased Use of Evidence in Budgeting for Trump Administration






2. Social Finance, Reflections on the South Carolina Nurse-Family Partnership Pay for Success Pilot (November 2016)
http://socialfinance.org/content/uploads/Charting-the-Course.pdf






3. The Cost of Late Intervention: EIF analysis 2016

Edited by: Haroon Chowdry and Peter Fitzsimons







4. Rehab, but for failing to adult.

 [Fusion / Molly Osberg]






5. Family study finds parents and kids agree


OR this version





Chap Records were basically Yelp for 1900s eligible bachelorettes. The books helped women keep track of—and review—their suitors.









7. Absent fathers no longer: men confront stereotypes to become involved parents

Livia Gershon



OR



8. Basic Engagement Resources





9. MU family researchers offer suggestions to improve co-parenting plans after divorce

ROSEANN SORCE, University of Missouri-Columbia



OR

What makes a family strong?
Michigan State University Extension

What do you think of when you hear the word “family?” You may consider your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Some of you might ...



OR

UNH Research Finds White Deaths Exceed Births in One-Third of U.S. States



10. 'Today Will Be Different' Tackles Parenting Fatigue And Middle-Aged Marriage





11. Why teens leave the faith and what churches, families are doing about it








Thanks Alysse

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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1113447 2016-12-07T00:23:30Z 2016-12-07T00:23:30Z Fwd: [New post] Develop the habit of listening carefully and really understanding your partner BEFORE giving your thoughts (Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood)


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Intentional-Relationship.com Blog <comment-reply@wordpress.com>
Date: Tue, Dec 6, 2016 at 5:27 PM
Subject: [New post] Develop the habit of listening carefully and really understanding your partner BEFORE giving your thoughts (Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood)
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


intentional-relationship.com posted: "Active Listening is not easy to learn and do, but once it becomes a habit, it can transform your relationship forever. The seven habits are a step by step model that empower couples to be intentional, to make decisions and to act, to move towards a known"
Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on Intentional-Relationship.com Blog

Develop the habit of listening carefully and really understanding your partner BEFORE giving your thoughts (Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood)

by intentional-relationship.com

Active Listening is not easy to learn and do, but once it becomes a habit, it can transform your relationship forever.

The seven habits are a step by step model that empower couples to be intentional, to make decisions and to act, to move towards a known destination rather than reacting to whatever is happening at the time. Emphasising the importance of self awareness before successful engagement with your partner, the model is a process of learning new habits to create personal and interpersonal effectiveness.

The seven habits are not a quick and easy formula for success, but together they form a powerful model for personal change. Adapted for couples, this series of posts is a respectful homage to Stephen R. Covey who died on July 16, 2012, age 79. Covey will be remembered as a transformational thinker on leadership and personal effectiveness. His book 'The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' his most lasting legacy.

The seven habits can be divided into two groups - the first three focus on "private victory" and the second three on "public victory", with Habit 7 rounding the previous six to work towards refinement, self renewal and continuous improvement. Covey says "Private Victory precedes Public Victory" which means that you must master yourself before enjoying success outside of ourselves and with our partner.

    Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

    Stephen Covey believes this principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication. This habit is about communicating effectively with your partner, developing the habit of listening carefully and really understanding your partner BEFORE giving your thoughts.

    Also termed Active Listening, this habit is not easy to learn and do, but by really listening and understanding your partner - by truly listening, your relationship will be transformed. Its not about agreeing or disagreeing, its about seeing how your partner sees the world - through their heart and mind. Listening with empathy and having the courage to really stop and listen, to consider, to restrain, respect and act with reverence. This habit can bring immense intimacy and love to your marriage.

    To listen effectively requires us to arrest our ego, to contain our defensiveness and to reduce stonewalling. Its about probing and questioning without the desire to respond but with the intent to listen and understand - empathic communication. If you seek to understand your partners ideas and needs, sharing feelings and emotions and you also gain an accurate view without judgement, nor defending or attacking. Put your natural and automatic responses aside and focus on genuinely understanding your partner.

    It is often easier to give your opinion or to give advice. You may spend more time trying to get your partner to understand your position than listening and understanding their position. Ask questions that encourage further understanding such as "Tell me more..." or "What happened next...?" Encourage effective 2-way communication, seek to understand, then request to be understood in return.

    Using 'I statements' is a practical way of implementing this habit. Whilst using a 'You' statement points the finger or puts blame onto your partner, using I statements says how it is from your side, how you see it. I statements enable us to be clear about our feelings and to state what we need. I statements are assertive without arousing the defensive behaviour from your partner.

By listening and understanding your partner - by truly listening, your relationship can be renewed, and intimacy will follow. Be patient and seek to understand... you will get your chance to express your thoughts and feeling.

Tune in next week for Habit 6.

Reference: Covey, Stephen R., The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, 1989, Fireside, New York.

Take the Couple Checkup

Take the Couple Checkup 

The Couple Checkup generates deep and productive conversations that couples would not otherwise have about their relationship. These conversations restore insight and understanding about one another. The Couple Checkup can help to revive a relationship and increase intimacy. 

The Couple Checkup is an online couple assessment based on the PREPARE/ENRICH couple inventories. The Checkup assessment and Checkup report are designed to go directly to couples at any stage of their relationship (dating, engaged or married). The online system allows for dynamic customization of the assessment to each couple based on how the couple answers background questions. The goal is for the Couple Checkup to reach a more diverse group of couples, to empower couples to deal with issues on their own and to emphasize prevention over remediation.

For more information on the use and analysis of the Couple Checkup or to simply use the tool, please contact: www.couplecheckup.com.au or call today (02) 9520 4049 #couplecheckup #relationship

Need more information, email me now shane@intentional-relationship.com

Tune in next week for more relationship tips @ Intentional-Relationship.com



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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1112298 2016-12-01T21:24:58Z 2016-12-01T21:24:59Z Candidates for Friday Five

Robert H. Shmerling, MD, Faculty Editor, Harvard Health Publications






or

Call for Papers -- Contemporary Perspectives in Family Research
Dating, Mating, and Coupling
Date Due: January 31
Link to NCFR 





3. DC: Professor earns $3.2 million to study environmental impact on child health
The GW Hatchet (George Washington University) - November 30, 2016
A psychology professor is studying adopted children to better understand how children's environments can impact their health. Jody Ganiban, a professor of clinical and developmental psychology, along with two faculty members at other institutions, received a $3.2 million grant from the National Institutes of Health to conduct research on the genetic and environmental factors on childhood development.




4. Title: Let's Talk About Safe Kids and Strong Families [Alaska].
Published: 2016
Available from: Alaska Department of Health and Social Services, Division of Family and Youth Services.
PDF: http://dhss.alaska.gov/ocs/Documents/Publications/pdf/CommunityCafeReport_2016.pdf 
Abstract: This report shares findings from parent community cafes that were held in Alaska that investigated priorities to help strengthen families in their community using the ...






5. Strengthening the workforce to Support Community Living and Participation for Older Adults and People with Disabilities: Proceedings of a Workshop



or

Families Caring for an Aging America



or

Parenting Matters: 
Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (2016)







6. Divorce hits later, as couples stay together longer

Lucille Keen



or

Adult children backed on the right to sit tight




or


7. Military Families Matter: These Resources Help Build Family Resilience

Mikelle D. Smith, DCoE Public Affairs


or

A Collaborative Approach to Behavioral Health Care for Veterans and Their Families

by Nicole K. Eberhart, Michael Stephen Dunbar, Olena Bogdan, Lea Xenakis, Eric R. Pedersen, Terri Tanielian







8. 
FP-16-22
Marriage Rate in the U.S.: Geographic Variation, 2015
FP-16-21
Divorce Rate in the U.S.: Geographic Variation, 2015





9. Longevity Research: Unraveling the Determinants of Healthy Aging and Longer Life Spans






10. Parents as Partners results presented at Pro Bono Economics event



or

Cost of problems affecting children, young persons and families calculated at £17 billion





11. Repeatedly thinking about work-family conflict linked to health problems




Thanks Alysse.




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]]>
Bill Coffin
tag:billcoffin.org,2013:Post/1112226 2016-12-01T17:47:00Z 2016-12-01T17:47:00Z Fwd: Love Styles – An Online Taste of Oxygen Event


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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: billandpat <billandpatcoffin@verizon.net>
Date: Thu, Dec 1, 2016 at 12:43 PM
Subject: Fwd: Love Styles – An Online Taste of Oxygen Event
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 
 
----------Original Message----------

From: "Noel@Stronger Families"
Date: Dec 1, 2016 12:15:38 PM
Subject: Love Styles – An Online Taste of Oxygen Event
To: billandpatcoffin@verizon.net
 
image

JOIN US FOR AN ONLINE TASTE OF OXYGEN EVENT
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER'S LOVE STYLE
COMING UP THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8th

when: THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8th | where: YOUR COMPUTER
time: 5pm-6pm PST / 8pm-9pm EST
*FREE for ALL*

image

Discover the unique ways you and your partner receive love - so that you both recognize expressions of love for one another.

image

Are your emotional needs being met? Clarify both you and your partner's top emotional needs and how to meet them.

image

Learn 5 simple, proven ways to increase and sustain true intimacy.

SESSION INCLUDES:
(per person)

* DIGITAL STUDY GUIDE

In this 90 minute workshop you'll become equipped with helpful tools to strengthen your marriage or dating relationship. Get real, substantive answers to your questions that are designed to positively impact your relationship.

Thurs., December 8th, 2016
5:00pm-6:00pm PST/
8:00pm - 9:00pm EST
Online event only

For more information contact:
Caryn @ Stronger Families
event@strongerfamilies.org

image


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: billandpat <billandpatcoffin@verizon.net>
Date: Thu, Dec 1, 2016 at 12:43 PM
Subject: Fwd: Love Styles – An Online Taste of Oxygen Event
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 
 
----------Original Message----------

From: "Noel@Stronger Families"
Date: Dec 1, 2016 12:15:38 PM
Subject: Love Styles – An Online Taste of Oxygen Event
To: billandpatcoffin@verizon.net
 
image

JOIN US FOR AN ONLINE TASTE OF OXYGEN EVENT
UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARTNER'S LOVE STYLE
COMING UP THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8th

when: THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8th | where: YOUR COMPUTER
time: 5pm-6pm PST / 8pm-9pm EST
*FREE for ALL*

image

Discover the unique ways you and your partner receive love - so that you both recognize expressions of love for one another.

image

Are your emotional needs being met? Clarify both you and your partner's top emotional needs and how to meet them.

image

Learn 5 simple, proven ways to increase and sustain true intimacy.

SESSION INCLUDES:
(per person)

* DIGITAL STUDY GUIDE

In this 90 minute workshop you'll become equipped with helpful tools to strengthen your marriage or dating relationship. Get real, substantive answers to your questions that are designed to positively impact your relationship.

Thurs., December 8th, 2016
5:00pm-6:00pm PST/
8:00pm - 9:00pm EST
Online event only

For more information contact:
Caryn @ Stronger Families
event@strongerfamilies.org

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Stronger Families PO Box 40584 Bellevue, Washington 98015 United States (425) 679-5671

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Bill Coffin