No. 1: Pump Up Your Positivity
Resilient people are characterized by an ability to experience both negative and positive emotions even in difficult or painful situations. They mourn losses and endure frustrations, but they also find redeeming potential or value in most challenges. Resilient people tend to find some silver lining in even the worst of circumstances.
No 2: Live to Learn
The more you can leverage challenges as opportunities to grow and evolve, the more resilient you are likely to be. "Pain comes to all of us in life," says David Sabine, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Wichita Falls, Texas. "What I see resilient people do is immediately look at the problem and say, 'What's the solution to that? What is this trying to teach me?' Looking at pain as an opportunity to learn and problem-solve - and building the confidence and the habit of moving toward the pain instead of running from it - goes a long way in terms of building resiliency."
No. 3: Open Your Heart
Being of service to others is a powerful way of stoking resilience. Acts of kindness, and the serotonin boosts that accompany them, have a cumulative effect. "Once you've added these things to your life in a consistent way, the benefits become exponential, so that in times of difficulty you've got this well of resiliency to draw upon," says Sabine. When adversity strikes, gratitude for the things that are going right in your life helps put tragedy in perspective.
No. 4: Take Care of Yourself
Good health - and a regular routine of healthy habits - are foundational to both mental and emotional resilience. Daily habits count: When you're caught up on sleep, eating well and keeping stress levels low, you'll be less fragile and less likely to fall into unhealthy patterns. Mental breaks and relaxation also help keep stress chemicals at bay, reducing the likelihood of feeling, or becoming, overwhelmed and reactive. Two other key self-care factors that help nurture resilience: Spending time outdoors and surrounding yourself with people you enjoy.
No. 5: Hang on to Humor
Laughing in the face of adversity can be profoundly pain relieving, for both the body and mind.
"Playful humor enhances survival for many reasons," writes resiliency authority Al Siebert in The Survivor Personality (Perigee Books, 2010). For one thing, he notes, "Laughing reduces tension to more moderate levels."
© Copyright 2005 Practical Psychology Press, adapted from Chapter 2 in The Resiliency Advantage (Berrett-Koehler) by Al Siebert, PhD.
