 Last Monday, I gave you some incredible statistics concerning infidelity in the United States. (If you missed it, check out Monday's blog post.) Infidelity is a huge problem. Over the years, as a counselor, I have helped couples deal with infidelity. I did not see it a lot but often enough to be concerned about the issue. Today, I am almost surprised if a couple comes in for counseling and they are not dealing with infidelity at some level. In 2011, of all the couples that I saw for counseling, at least 60% came because of infidelity. Five years ago, it was probably 10% and of these couples, 99% of the time, the infidelity was on the part of the husband. Last year, it was probably 60% the husband and 40% the wife. (I have not run exact stats on my figures but this is a good faith guess. Besides my mind is a steel trap.)
Why is there so much infidelity? I know it has been with us since Biblical times (see King David in the Old Testament), but it seems to be more rampant today. I truly believe it is a product of our culture and the enemy is attacking marriages like never before.
Today, it is very easy to connect with another person. We have Facebook, cell phones, and email. There are more women in the workforce and therefore more opportunities for contact with other men. We think nothing of having lunch with a coworker or business associate of the opposite sex. Yet, sitting across the table from someone and eating and having conversation can be one of the most intimate things that we do. That is how I fell in love with Nancy!
I also think what we see and hear in the media has affected us. The Television and the movies are full of stories about affairs and the people turn out 'happier' with their new partner. Pornography is presented as something normal and that it never causes problems in relationships. We have been desensitized, step by step, over the past few years. We have been presented a distorted picture and fallen for it big time.
Infidelity is killing us one marriage at a time.
Dr. Kim
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