As we exchanged the summer wreath on the front porch for the Halloween wreath, ghosts, and fall leaf garland, it occurred to us that the Holidaze is eminent. We are quickly headed into the most holiday packed part of the year. It is a time filled with activities and emotions. We each have expectations, and others have expectations of us. There will be a whirlwind of activities from Thanksgiving travel to Christmas parties for every group where we belong.
We each carry memories of the past and hopes for this season. Some memories will come from our childhoods; some have been made with our mates. We each have our own personal reactions to the approach of the holidays. Right now is not too early to take an intentional hold on the season. If we don’t start now, the season will be in charge, and we will get what it brings.
As a couple, use the following questions to get your thoughts and feelings to surface:
Are there things you do to prepare for this time of year, for the holidays?
How do you feel about gifts—choosing, giving, receiving?
What emotions do you associate with the season? Are all feelings positive, or are they mixed? Are there losses associated with the season?
What are your favorite parts of the season? --your least favorite parts?
Can you, or, do you want to make changes in how you and your family celebrate this year? If so, what might they be?
Share your thoughts with your mate knee to knee.*
Together, make plans to approach, survive, and enjoy the season in ways that are meaningful for both of you.
*Face each other, hold hands, make eye contact and give each other undivided attention.
Copyright 2012 Eddie and Sylvia Robertson, Better Marriages Certified Trainer Couple. To order the book, Wonderful Wednesdays, visit www.BetterMarriages.org.
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