I did something today I have never done before. I trusted my GPS. I turned it on, listened to its guidance, and followed its directions. I didn't double-check it before leaving on my trip. I didn't argue with it as I drove. 
I didn't constantly verify that it, and I, were on the correct path. I didn't worry about two or three turns ahead. I just listened for the next one and took it as it came.
I trusted and followed... and got where I needed to go. And it was so refreshing to be able to relax along the way and enjoy the journey I was on.
Oh, I've used my GPS countless times in the past and find it very helpful in getting from one place to another. I am not a Luddite or helplessly old school. But I'm afraid I am THAT person. You know THAT person. Me and my GPS have a much more complicated relationship than we should. I talk to her. I frequently question that she knows what she is doing. Because I am never really sure she'll be able to get me to where I need to go safely and in a timely manner. Because I kind of like to make my own plans. Because, while I'm not a control freak…let's just say I often prefer to reduce the number of people and things I am dependent on. Therefore, I tend to do my route planning ahead of time so that, even though I take her with me everywhere, I don't actually need her. Even though getting me from point A to point B is her job. Even though trusting her would make my life so much easier.
Today, Jesus let me know this is how I treat Him sometimes. Sigh.
Years ago I told Him that I would let Him lead…and that I would follow. In fact, we've spent years together, with me learning to hear and listen to His voice. With me learning to trust that He is more than capable of handling the details of my heart and life. With me learning to believe that He really, really loves me and wants the best for me…that He knows exactly where we are going and how to get there…and that He is very willing and able to take care of me along the way.
Yet there are so many times I try to orchestrate my life, my spiritual life even, so that I don't really need Him. So that functionally, He isn't leading, but just accompanying me as I do my best to manage it all on my own.
And I realized how very tired that has been making me. Basically, I've been trying to do my job and His at the same time. And trying to do His job is like…well…it's like trying to be God when you are not. Those shoes are too big for anyone to fill. It is not only exhausting, it is a recipe for getting so very lost along the way.
Again…sigh.
While not a perfect metaphor, (of course there are times we should look ahead, be aware of our location, make plans, etc) this day, my traveling experience was a gift. It showed me something of my heart and practices - and invited me to do things differently. It showed me that if I am willing to trust Him, I can learn to relax along the way and enjoy the journey I'm on.
John 10:27 "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." - Jesus
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