Seeds of Change
Change is hard to ignore this time of year in Minnesota. The leaves on trees change from multiple shades of green to burnt orange, deep red, and mustard yellow. Sunlight shines on these newly colored leaves and exposes the dark, capillary shaped branches that were hidden under a green canopy. Crisp air and darkening skies open and close the day. For some, the changes that are part of fall are exciting and refreshing. For others they signal the coming of winter and cold, long, dark days.
Like nature, change in our relationships is inevitable. Our response to change in our relationships likely varies from excitement and newness to anxiety or heaviness.
The same way we can't make the leaves or the temperature change, we can't make our partners change. Sometimes we can't change our situations, but we can work on changing ourselves. Often, changing ourselves starts with humility. A wise man once said, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment."
Actions start as thoughts. Relationship author and speaker, Mitch Temple, writes "Thoughts and attitudes are like the engine of a train and our emotions and behaviors are like the caboose." How is your thought management? Are you too focused on what seems to be missing or lacking? Have you become critical or negative? How has your thinking about your spouse changed? How does it need to be changed? What if today you chose to be more thankful and positive?
Horticulturists say that fall is a great time to plant certain seeds. Fall planting results in earlier spring blooms, there is more time to plant in the fall and weeds are easier to control. Why not plant some seed of change in your relationship this fall. Here are some seeds you can "plant" today:
- Greet your partner with a smile
- Offer a word of encouragement or affirmation
- Choose to give your partner the "benefit of the doubt"
- Touch your partner
- Confess
- Pray for your partner
- Forgive
- Ask your partner about his/her day
- Journal about your relationship
Come spring you may find blossoms of new communication patterns and habits. You may find blossoms of new understanding and perspectives on your relationship. You may find a new depth of love blossoming for yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
Don't underestimate the power of changing a little thing in how you interact with your partner. Whether or not it changes them, it might change you!
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