The Five Love Languages
What does it take for you to feel loved? Gary Chapman, in his Five Love Languages, discovered "how to express your heartfelt commitment to your mate." Each person has a favorite way of feeling loved. Take a moment to discover your own and your partner's love language this holiday season.
So many times it is difficult to figure what is the best gift for the people we love. The best answer comes from understanding their love language. I know we have run this before, we thought it was a great time to send it again. - Carolyn
Here are the five different types:
Words of affirmation: Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to the person who this is their primary love language. Simple statements, such as "You look great in that suit," reach the heart of your partner if words of affirmation are important. They will help them overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.
Quality Time: These people feel loved when you focus all of your energy on them. During this time partners can share experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but will respond in a way that indicated that they are truly listening.
Receiving Gifts: If this is your love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion. People who speak this language often feel that a lack of a gift represents a lack of love from their mate. These gifts need not come every day and they don't even need to cost a lot of money. If your mate relates to this language, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.
Acts of Service: Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. It is important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates and to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. A mate who does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment.
Physical Touch: Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship. Take the time to learn the touches that your mate likes. It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessary what will make your partner happy.
Figure out your partner's love language and your own by noticing three things:
1. What you give or is given
2. What you or your partner complain about
3. What you or your mate request most often
Knowing your mate's and your own love language fills one of the essentials for a great relationship: feeling loved.
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