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From:
Smart Relationships <info@smartrelationships.org> Date: Thu, Nov 8, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Subject: Loving Non-Verbally
To: Bill <
billcoffin68@gmail.com>
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 Many of the skills we teach have to do with communication. While speaking, listening, and negotiating are important skills, the science of communication tells us that most of what is communicated is non-verbal.
Have you ever had a fight that consisted of re-hashing a fight? During the course of that conversation, someone is likely to use the phrase, "All I said was...." The same words that caused such emotion earlier are repeated verbatim. What is vastly different is the emotional energy behind them. In the end, it's altruism or lack of generosity that creates our experience of the relationship.
To put it simply, a thriving relationship is more a matter of good will than great skill. Much of that good will is communicated non-verbally.
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 When you focus on your partner's faults, you begin to see more and more examples. Issues do need to be aired and addressed. Habitual avoidance of conflict is the number one predictor of divorce.
But your underlying attitude toward your spouse is felt and expressed non-verbally. To invest in a strong marriage, make a choice to focus what is best about your mate.
Then add the verbal by telling him or her what you see often.
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 Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like? Could you define one if someone asked? Our eCourse will help you answer "Yes" with confidence. Click here to see a sample lesson.
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 These actions will build connection between you. But you don't need someon'e else's list. When you take responsibility for the quality of the emotional energy you are putting into the relationship, you will naturally find creative ways to express your love. Commit to intentionally building the positive connection between you.
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 Paradox #2 from our upcoming eBook, Journey through Paradox.
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