Coffin Corner

Dear Bill ,
Below are your Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers for AUGUST. 

Note: I recevied over 60 wonderful pieces of wisdom from pastoral ministers on how to Maintain Your Sanity 

While Balancing Family, Ministry, Work, and Life. Most tips fell into the categories of

1. Block out personal time on your calendar
2. Pray (morning quiet time)
3. Healthy living & hobbies (eat well, exercise, relax)
4. Prioritize
5. Find a confidant (spiritual adviser, support group, friend)
6. Develop an attitude ("I am not the Messiah)
7. Humor & laughter 

Click here to see my top 7. It was a "Sophie's Choice." So many deserved sharing, it didn't feel fair to pick between them. 

Since I failed to pick one top tip, here's a tip top one from St. Francis de Sales. When asked how much one should pray, this Doctor of the Church reportedly replied: "You should pray a half hour each day, unless you're busy. If you're busy, you should pray an hour."

480. Aug. 6: "The whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses." (Ex 16:2) It's tempting to grumble against one's spouse, or even God, when things aren't going well. An occasional grumble can be an OK way to let off steam, but try to balance it with expressions of gratitude.

481. Aug. 13: As desired as children usually are in a marriage, they also bring stress. Don't let arguments over child discipline sap your energy and alienate you from each other. Take a break. Build a list of a few reliable sitters or friends.

482. Aug. 20: "Live, not as foolish persons but as wise." (Eph 5:15) Who is the wisest (not smartest) living person you know? Who is the most foolish? Do you and your spouse share the same opinion of these people?

PARENTING POINTERS

479. Aug. 3: Are your kids spoiled? Too many sweets or toys? Do they complain about doing reasonable chores? It's hard to know how much is too much. Many parents err on the side of too much. Read Elizabeth Kolber's article, Spoiled Rotten, for comparison.

480. Aug. 10: "Whoever... teaches the commandments will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Mt 5:19) To instruct the uninformed is one of the Spiritual Works of Mercy. Parents do this daily by word and action. Pick a commandment to focus on today.

481. Aug. 17: How to "parent" an adult child - You may still have plenty of wisdom to be shared with your 20-30 something but are they able to hear it. Learn to practice "Silence of Words," a virtue that trains you when to speak and when to bite your tongue.

482. Aug. 24: "The best message that parents can send children is 'I love you but I expect you to behave properly.'" (Mary Pipher) Parents get tired and it's tempting to overlook bad behavior because it takes energy to hold our children accountable. Summon up an ounce of energy the next time you need to hold your child accountable.

483. Aug. 31: Is there a vowed religious (sister or brother) who has taught, helped, or inspired you? Tell your child about it. Nuns need our support these days and we must remember how they have educated, healed, and served the least of God's people.