Resilience

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From: Smart Relationships <info@smartrelationships.org>
Date: Thu, Nov 1, 2012 at 3:34 PM
Subject: Resilience
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


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Resilience can be defined as the ability to bounce back from stress and hardship. According to Viktor Frankl, it was a key to surviving in the terrible death camps of the Nazis.

In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, he wrote, 

"Sensitive people who were used to a rich
intellectual life may have suffered much pain
(they were often of a delicate constitution), but the damage
to their inner selves was less. They were able to retreat from
their terrible surroundings to a life of inner riches and
spiritual freedom. Only in this way can one explain the
apparent paradox that some prisoners of a less hardy make­
up often seemed to survive camp life better than did those
of a robust nature."

Even in less dire circumstances, resilience is one aspect of emotional intelligence that supports success and happiness.

 


 
Part of resilience is the ability to keep your problems in perspective.

Did you know that the brain clusters memory by emotions? When you're sad, all you can remember is other sad memories. When you're angry, other angry memories. When you're happy, other happy memories. This explains why arguments can so easily descend into a long list of past offenses.

Teach your children and teens this concept. Let them know that when it seems like the end of the world, it's only the brain being unable to access memories from a different emotional state. If they wait a while and keep perspective, they will bounce back into a happier place again.
Paradox #1 from our upcoming eBook, "Journey through Paradox". Coming soon!
Factors that foster resilience include:
  • Relationships that offer care, support, and encouragement
  • Relationships that create love and trust
  • Self-confidence
  • Positive self image
  • Communication skills
  • The ability to manage strong feelings and impulses

 
This is the essence of resilience.
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