---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Carolyn Rich Curtis <info@skills4us.org> Date: Tue, Oct 30, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Subject: What is the best way to apologize?
To:
billcoffin68@gmail.com
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| Apologizing is one of the key skills necessary for a successful relationship. We all make mistakes and need to get our relationship "back on track." Knowing how to apologize in a way that is successful will make a difference in your relationship. Take a look at "The Five Languages of Apology" developed by Gary Chapman. Then talk with your partner to discover what works for them. We wish you a great conversation and relationship. -Carolyn |
| Apology Language #1
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Expressing Regret:
"I am sorry"
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List the hurtful effects of your action. Show remorse. It doesn't count if you are only sorry that you got caught. Not "I am sorry if...", but "I am sorry that..." |
| Apology Language #2
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Accepting Responsibility:
"I was wrong" |
Name your mistake and accept fault. Note that it is easier to say "You are right" than "I am wrong", but the latter carries more weight. |
| Apology Language #3
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Restitution- Making Amends:
"What can I do to make it right?"
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How are they now? Is any debt owed or repayment due? How shall I make amends to you? How can I restore your confidence that I love you- even though I was hurtful to you? |
| Apology Language #4
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Repentance:
"I'll try not to do that again"
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Repentance- literally means turning around 180 degrees. Engage in problem solving. Don't make excuses for yourself. Instead, offer what you will change. |
| Apology Language #5
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Requesting Forgiveness:
"Will you please forgive me?"
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Be patient in seeking forgiveness and reconciliation. Your apology may not be accepted, but you will know that you have offered a sincere olive branch of peace. |
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| These apology languages should help us bravely list all that we have done wrong, show our concern for them, and explain what will truly be different next time. In order to give the most successful apologies, ask your partner what he or she likes to hear in an apology and you will be able to give targeted apologies. |
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Relationship Skills Center | 9719 Lincoln Village Dr. | Suite 503 | Sacramento | CA | 95827 |
