Welcome to this week’s UK Marriage
News
Headlines
·
Leading relationship charities
call for all public servants to be trained in relationship support
awareness
·
How Do Important Relationship
Events Impact Our Well-Being?
·
Marriage or ‘Miserable
Minimalism’!
Government
and Political
·
Leading relationship charities
call for all public servants to be trained in relationship support
awareness
Leading relationship charities are calling on all political parties
to put good-quality couple, family and social relationships centre stage in
policy making in the run up to the General Election. The Relationships Alliance,
made up of Relate, One Plus One, Marriage Care and the Tavistock Centre for
Couple Relationships, has today published its Relationships Manifesto, which
includes a call for all frontline practitioners delivering public services to be
given relationship support awareness training.
The Relationships Alliance will launch its 12 policy recommendations
in The Relationships Manifesto: Strengthening Relationships to an audience of
MPs, civil servants and other charities at a reception in the House of Commons
later on today. As well as making recommendations, the Manifesto identifies
three main barriers which prevent people from strengthening their relationships:
cultural barriers, (including the perceived stigma around seeking help for
relationships); financial barriers; and systemic barriers (including a lack of
knowledge about the importance of relationships or how to access relationship
support). All the recommendations in the Manifesto aim to tackle these barriers
in order to improve the nation’s relationships.
Among other recommendations, the Manifesto also calls for Family and
Relationship Centres to be set up in the UK as they have been in Australia, as
well as setting up a £5 million ‘Strengthening Relationships’ fund, which will
allow local authorities to develop and extend
relationship support at the local level. The Alliance is also seeking
to make Relationships and Sex Education a compulsory part of the National
Curriculum, which would be taught by relationship experts.
Ruth Sutherland, Chair of the Relationships Alliance and Chief
Executive of Relate, said: “The Relationships Manifesto is a great starting
point for policy makers to really put relationships at the heart of policy
making. Couple, family, social and community relationships are crucial to most
of us, yet public policy often overlooks or even undermines them.
“Making all frontline public service staff aware of the importance of
relationships will ensure that crucial community figures are able to spot those
in need and signpost them to expert help.”
Susanna Abse, Chief Executive of the Tavistock Centre for Couple
Relationships, who will be presenting the Manifesto at its launch, said: “This
is a simple way to prioritise relationships without adding extra budget or
burden to public sector workers.
“Strong and healthy relationships are the basis of a thriving
society: they see individuals, families and communities through good times and
bad, so it is absolutely crucial that the role they play in our lives is
adequately recognised in public policy come the Election.”
As well as the call to increase awareness of relationship support for
public servants, the Relationships Alliance is also calling for the following
policies:
·
A cabinet level Minister for Families and Relationships with a
dedicated Whitehall department.
·
All children and young people should have access to Relationships
and Sex Education, which should be a compulsory part of the national curriculum
and taught by experts.
·
Family and Relationship Centres should be piloted in the UK, as
they have been in Australia.
·
Central government should launch a £5 million “Strengthening
Relationships Fund” to engage local authorities to develop and extend
relationship support at the local level.
·
Central and local government should ensure that services designed
to help at life transition points include a focus on couple, family and social
relationships.
·
Central government should match-fund 10% of the cost of the
transferable tax allowance for married couples and civil partners on an annual
basis and invest it in strengthening couple, family and social
relationships.
·
The Department of Health should expand the delivery of couple
therapy for depression within the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies
(IAPT) programme.
·
Relationship education should be incentivised through local
government waiving the marriage notices of £35-per-person (£70 per couple)
fee.
·
The Cabinet Office should expand its What Works Network to include
a What Works Centre for Families and Relationships.
·
Directors of Public Health should be required to measure the
quality and stability of couple, family and social relationships to inform
policy and commissioning by local authorities and clinical commissioning
groups.
·
The expanded Troubled Families programme should include a focus on
supporting and measuring the quality and stability of couple, family and social
relationships.
·
Parental involvement provision
comes into effect on 22nd October
The importance of children having relationships with each parent
following family breakdown will be reinforced by a new law taking effect next
week, Family Justice minister Simon Hughes has said says Family Law
Week.
The parental involvement provision in section 11 of the Children and
Families Act 2014 will come into force on 22 October and will apply to cases
started on or after that date. It will not apply to cases already going through
the courts prior to 22 October.
The Ministry of Justice has been at pains to emphasise that the
parental involvement provision is not about giving parents new 'rights' or the
50/50 division of children's time but about 'achieving a culture change by
making clearer the court's approach to these issues'.
The change is intended to encourage parents to be more focused on
children's needs following separation and the role they each play in the child's
life. The new law will require family courts to presume that each parent's
involvement in the child's life will further their welfare – where it is safe.
However the needs of the child will always remain the paramount priority of the
courts.
Justice Minister Simon Hughes said: "We have made bold reforms so
that the welfare of children is at the heart of the family justice system, and
there can be no doubt that parents play a very important role in every child's
life. Following break up of relationships we are encouraging all parents to
focus on the needs of the child rather than what they want for themselves. No
parent should be excluded from their child's life for no good reason. This
change in the law is not about giving parents new 'rights' but makes clear to
parents and everybody else that the family courts will presume that each parent
will play a role in the future life of their child."
Children and Families Minister, Edward Timpson: "Having spent almost
ten years as a family barrister, I know nothing is more important than taking
the time to listen to children and making sure their voices are heard loud and
clear. This is a brand new system which puts the needs of children first,
protects families from harmful and stressful battles in the courtroom and gives
them greater support."
·
Fewer than one in four couples
seeking counselling to save marriage
A new survey has revealed that fewer than one in four couples seeks
professional counselling to try to save their marriage when they are going
through a difficult time in their relationship reports Family Law
Week.
Research by the Family and Divorce Law team at Irwin Mitchell
Solicitors, which has offices across the country, found that while 37% of
couples going through a rocky patch said they thought counselling would help,
only 23% were actively seeking help. The survey of 2,000 people also revealed
that on average couples sought counselling for four months with 12% saying it
helped to save their marriage. However the statistics also showed that gender
played a part in the difference in attitudes to counselling with 45% of females
believing that it would help save a relationship compared with just 28% of
men.
Both men and women agreed that they would confide in their best
friend first regarding their relationship (33%) with 23% saying they turned to
their mum for advice. Worryingly, 35% said they confided in no one – rising to
40% of men.
Last month the Prime Minister announced a rise in funding available
for ante-natal counselling to £20m. This support will include relationship
advice on the potential stresses of having children and health visitors will be
asked to offer relationship support to new parents.
The Irwin Mitchell report also gave insight as to how hard couples
are prepared to fight to save their marriage with 75% believing that people give
up on relationships too easily and couples believing that they should try to
save the relationship for at least 11 months on average.
Lack of communication was the biggest driver in break-down of
marriages (40%) while 25% said that money worries and taking each other for
granted were major issues.
Alison Hawes, a Partner in the Family and Divorce Law team at Irwin
Mitchell said: "The survey suggests that people are looking to friends and
family to help them get through a separation or divorce but there are other
experts who may be able to help. There are differences between attitudes to
counselling from both men and women which could mean that it is important that
counsellors can get both partners on side quickly when trying to help. We know from experience that counselling
can help people going through a difficult period but perhaps there is a stigma
attached that people are struggling to overcome. People may also feel that deep
down counselling may be the final proof that their relationship is finally over
and they may be putting it off on that basis. Good counsellors will be able to
help couples to come to terms with what is best for both partners. Seeking
professional help about something so sensitive and personal can feel like
admitting failure but instead it should be seen as a positive sign to each other
that you are committed to getting the best possible support."
·
Sir James Munby urges changes to
private law cases
The President of the Family Division, Sir James Munby, has questioned
whether divorce should remain subject to judicial supervision reports Family Law
Week. In a speech at the Legal Wales Conference in Bangor he asked whether
it was now appropriate to legislate to remove all concepts of fault as a basis
for divorce so that irretrievable breakdown would be the sole ground (presumably
without the five facts which constitute the reasons for divorce). This, he
conjectured, might lead to separating the process of divorce from that of
adjudicating claims for financial relief following divorce.
Sir James said that the child arrangement programme and the fact that
parties will no longer be represented in the majority of cases demand a new
approach to private law cases.
For more details of the President's speech, which considered other
reforms of family law, see the report in The
Law Society's Gazette.
Research
and Public Opinion
·
How Do Important Relationship
Events Impact Our Well-Being?
Perhaps no life events fill us with more joy or sadness than those
that involve important relationship partners. Whether we are committing to
lifelong partnerships with someone we love, bringing a new addition to the
family, leaving a bad relationship, or losing a loved one, relationship events
may have different effects on how satisfied and happy we are with our lives says
Science of Relationships.
How do important relationship events impact our well-being over time?
In a recent meta-analysis (a research paper that combines results from similar
studies), researchers examined this very question. Specifically, they studied
how our cognitive and emotional well-being change over time in response to four
important life events: marriage, divorce, bereavement, and the birth of a
child.1
Cognitive well-being is an evaluation of how satisfied you are with
your life, or in a particular domain of your life, whereas emotional well-being
refers to positive emotional experiences in the absence of negative emotions.
The distinction between these two types of well-being is important, given that
they may not always match up perfectly (i.e., you could be happy in one domain
but not the other). For instance, if you’ve ever felt that things in your life
were going well overall, but still felt unhappy, you’ve experienced differences
in the way you thought about your life as compared to how you felt about it.
Thus, how satisfied we are with our lives is not always aligned with
how we feel emotionally, and understanding both of these components is essential
to fully understanding how relationship events impact our well-being. So how do
our cognitive and emotional well-being change in the short- and long-term in
response to important relationship events? Here’s what we know:1
Marriage
After people get married, emotional well-being doesn’t change very
much from before marriage. However, marriage does have an important impact on
cognitive well-being—in both how generally satisfied people are with their lives
as well as in their relationships. Thus, getting married increases people’s life
satisfaction, but not relationship satisfaction shortly after marriage, but both
life and marital satisfaction decline over time, returning to baseline levels of
satisfaction. These changes were consistent for both men and women and couples
who married when they were older experienced greater increases in well-being
upon getting married.
Divorce
The long-term impact of divorce indicates people tend to experience
mild drops in satisfaction with life immediately after a divorce. However,
satisfaction with life then increases over time after these initial declines.
Within this meta-analysis, there were few longitudinal studies that were
identified that measured satisfaction with life in particular, but other
research has indicated that divorce is associated with declines on other
measures of well-being, including increased depression, decreased global
happiness, and decreased purpose in life.2
Bereavement
Bereavement is one of life’s most negative events, and the results of
the meta-analysis indicate this is true in both the short- and the long-term on
both aspects of well-being. Losing a spouse is tied to extremely strong drops in
both life satisfaction and emotional well-being. However, over time, both life
satisfaction and emotional well-being increase. Specifically, increases in
well-being do occur after bereavement, but these increases occur more slowly
compared to adaptation seen in other relational events. Additionally, drops in
well-being tend to be sharper for people who are older when losing a spouse, and
men’s well-being recovers slower than women’s after bereavement.
Childbirth
The birth of a child has very divergent effects on people’s sense of
emotional and cognitive well-being. After giving birth to a child, life
satisfaction, but not relationship satisfaction, increases in the short-term.
However, both life and relationship satisfaction decrease over time, with
greater declines seen in relationship satisfaction relative to life satisfaction
(likely because the addition of a child detracts from time romantic partners can
spend together). In contrast, the
birth of a child positively impacts emotional well-being over time after
childbirth. These changes in well-being were consistent for both men and women
and tended to be more positive for parents who were relatively older when having
a child.
What we see across these relational events is that, despite the fact
that people experience changes in well-being in the short-term, people also tend
to adapt over time to these major life events, with changes in cognitive and
emotional well-being changing in response to important events but often
returning to original—or close to original—levels over time.
Additionally, these findings may help us understand what we may do in
anticipation of or as a consequence of variation in our well-being surrounding
important relationship events. For instance, as the honeymoon phase begins to
drop after marriage, couples may engage in self-expanding activities to keep the
romance alive in their relationships (read more here and here). Parents who
experience declines in life satisfaction after the birth of a child may
recognize the emotional joy that parenthood brings. In times of divorce or
bereavement, people may seek social support from close friends and family to
buffer the negative effects of well-being in these difficult times. Lastly, in
times of drops of well-being due to relational events, people may also find
solace in knowing that returning to relatively greater well-being may just be a
function of time.
·
Trying to account for the Marriage
Premium
Researchers are continually awed by the concept of the marriage
premium—the wage increase that occurs after marriage, particularly for men. Most
cite “specialization” as the likely cause reports Maybeido.
When a couple marries, the individual partners divide duties in such a way as to
increase the wife’s share of household duties, thus allowing the husband more
time for paid labour. Alexandra Killewald and Margaret Gough, researchers from
Harvard, seek to study the marriage premium more rigorously. Specifically, they
hypothesize that if specialization is indeed the reason that men tend to earn
more after marriage, specialization should also cause women to earn
less.
Using data from the 1979-2008 waves of the National Longitudinal
Survey of Youth, the researchers used fixed-effects models that control for
selection and test the data in various ways. One model estimates the “total
relationship between family status change and wages,” the so-called Total
Effect. The second controls for time-use specialization (hours worked and labour
market experience) so as to study the “mediating role of employment hours.” The
third model “tests the mediating role of job traits and tenure,” thus “further
narrowing the gender gap in the marriage premium.”
The data indicate that for men, specialization does indeed explain
wage increases, but not entirely: “Changes in men’s employment hours, job
traits, and tenure associated with marriage and married fatherhood explain a
portion of these wage gains.” The researchers highlight that although
specialization at least partly explains the effect on men’s wages, it does not
at all account for the changes in women’s wages: “Marriage and cohabitation are
associated with wage gains for childless women, not wage losses as predicted by
specialization. . . . Furthermore, if anything, marriage alters women’s
employment hours, job traits, and tenure in ways beneficial to their
wages.”
Killewald
and Gough conclude by calling for further research, as specialization does not,
in fact, entirely explain the marriage premium, particularly for women. They
speculate that men may earn more than women at marriage because “transitions to
marriage and married parenthood may encourage men’s sense of responsibility,”
whereas “single women already possess these positive traits or because gendered
norms of family behaviour place less emphasis on financial providership for
women.” Whatever the reason, the results are clear: Marriage is related to an
increase in income, for both husbands and wives.
·
Couples who met online three times
more likely to divorce
Married couples who met online are three times more likely to divorce
than those who met face-to-face, a study has found says
the Telegraph. Online daters are also 28 per cent more likely to split from
their partners within the first year, new figures from Michigan State University
in the US suggest. A study of more than 4,000 couples found that relationships
were far more stable if couples met in traditional ways such as introductions by
friends or through work, hobbies or socialising.
Couples who meet online are also less likely to get married and
generally have a poorer relationship quality that those who met offline. “Even
though a large percentage of marriages in recent years have resulted from
couples meeting online, looking for partners online may potentially suppress the
desire for getting married,” said report author Dr Aditi Paul. “Furthermore the
break-up rates for both marital and non-marital romantic relationship were found
to be higher for couples who met online that couples who met through offline
venues.”
The findings contradict a report from the University of Chicago which
suggested that online relationships were stronger. That study was funded by the
dating site eHarmony. In Britain around 20 per cent of heterosexual couples met
online and 70 per cent of homosexual couples. And the trend shows no signs of
slowing with sites becoming ever more specialised. Couples who want to be
matched by their music tastes can now logon to Tastebuds, while Jewish singles
can try JDate and those who just want their partner in uniform can try
UniformDating.com.
Although sites such as eHarmony claim to have algorithms to match
research from the Association of Psychological Science suggested there was
little scientific merit in programmes. And they prevent opposites attracting.
And the paper warned that browsing too many profiles “fosters judgemental and
assessment-oriented evaluations that can cognitively overwhelm users.” Another
study has found that one third of pictures were misleading.
Match.com CEO Sam Yagan has claimed that dating cycles are shorter
online because people are more willing to leave unsatisfying relationships more
early because they know they can quickly find somebody new to date. But the new
research from Michican suggests that 86 per cent of online daters were concerned
that profiles contained false information suggesting that trust may have been
damaged at an early stage in the relationship.
The study was published in the online journal Cyberpsychology,
Behaviour, and Social Networking.
·
The Military and
Marriage
There has been a lot of discussion in the last few weeks about the
declining marriage rates among young adults in the United States says Family
Studies. According to a recent Pew Research report, a record number of
adults in the United States—1 in five adults age 25 and older—have never been
married. Harry Benson has argued on this blog that the trends are much the same
in the U.K. Philip Cohen has argued
that the downward trend is, in fact, global.
But there does seem to be at least one group of young adults who are
bucking the trend: The U.S. military is still characterized by high—and
early—marriage rates. According to one study, military men are slightly more
likely to be married than civilian men and junior enlistees are “nearly twice as
likely to be married as civilians aged eighteen to twenty-four years.” Comparing
the military sample of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (NLSY79) with
selected women from civilian samples from 1979 to 1984, Jennifer Lundquist and
Herbert Smith found that young female enlistees continually had higher marriage
rates than their civilian counterparts.
What accounts for the difference?
According to a recently published narrative study by Jennifer
Lundquist and Zhun Xu, there are three structural elements of military life that
act as marriage catalysts: War-zone deployment, relocation assignments, and the
institutional support and socioeconomic stability of the
military.
War Zone Deployment
In their interviews Lundquist and Xu found that “military marriages
sometimes occur in response to imminent war separation.” Respondents described
marriage in a deployment situation as providing a layer of security and
stability. Marriage gives soldiers someone to come home to and a way to remain
emotionally connected to their partners. It gave spouses at home the security of
knowing their family would be taken care of should their partner die on
deployment. As one respondent explained, “It was the best option to take care of
my daughter and myself.”
Relocation Assignments
The most common marriage catalyst, Lundquist and Xu found, was a
permanent change of station (PCS). Service members can face relocation every 2–3
years. “Whether married, single, or a dependent,” Lundquist and Xu found that
“relocation loomed large as an anticipated event in the lives of each of the
interviewees. It was described as a distinct turning point in the life course of
a romantic relationship when couples were forced to make a decision.” If a
couple marries, the military will pay the relocation cost for the spouse and
other family members. If a couple chooses not to wed, they face permanent
separation. PCS effectively stamps a “sell by” date on romantic
relationships. As one respondent
told the interviewers: “[Marriage] is a way to save their relationship . . .
because, no matter what [Military Occupational Specialty] or position, it’s
impossible to have a stable relationship.”
Socioeconomic Stability and Institutional
Support
Lundquist and Xu found that the servicemen and women they interviewed
favourably compared their own socioeconomic situation favourably to that of
their civilian peers. The military provides a steady income, good benefits, and
job training. Economic stability “emerged as a major undercurrent” in each of
Lundquiest and Xu’s interviews.
Marriage, Lundquist and Xu argue, has also been made “deliberately
compatible” with military life. As noted, the military will pay the full
relocation cost for each member of a service member’s family. Doing so provides
a “crucial way for the military to ensure a portable support system for its
employees.” The military also provides “family health coverage, housing, day
care services, [and] schooling systems.” The military also provides direct
support for married couples. As one respondent explained:
Once a month, there’s a marriage retreat . . . You have to go through
counselling, but you get free lodging at the Army resort, get to see the Alps.
It’s like a free vacation. . . . Outside the military, you have to pay for that
stuff, to go see a counsellor. . . . The military has a lot of things in place
for it.
This institutional support for marriage is not disinterested. As
Lundquist and Xu note, the family members of servicemen and women are also
enlisted in service: They provide emotional support and caretaking labour that
the military would be hard pressed to supply, they help reintegrate servicemen
and women into civilian life, and they provide care for injured veterans. (In
the United States 5.5 million individuals provide unpaid care for family members
who are current or former military employees.)
Comparing marriage in the military to marriage in civilian life may
seem like comparing apples to oranges. As Lundquist and Xu note, “our main
application to civilian trends is one of contrast, not similarity. In the highly
individualistic, market-driven policy context of the United States, the
transition to adulthood has been very weakly supported by the
state.”
But I think Lundquist and Xu’s interviews bring out an important
point about marriage in general: The military men and women they interviewed,
for the most part, did not choose to marry for the sake of the benefits the
military would provide them for doing so. Rather, marriage, the respondents
reported, provided benefits the military could not supply: emotional support,
personal care, something to live for, constancy in a life that is constant
change. Marriage seems to be a unique good. But the material benefits and
support network that the military provided made it possible for the respondents
to choose this unique good.
New
Books, Resources and materials
·
Therapy With Men After
Sixty
[Picked this one up from
Smartmarriages, so this is Diane’s review, not ours. Ed]
I am excited about this new book by Barry McCarthy who was
consistently one of the most highly rated presenters at the Smart Marriages
Conference where he shared his expertise on sex. I still recommend the
recordings of his presentations, most especially of Marital Sex As It Ought To
Be, the session I think we should all listen to once a year, just to be reminded
— and to prevent monotony on long trips (pun intended) http://www.playbacknow.com/750-807
. Barry has written more than 20 great books, including Discovering Your Couple
Sexual Style (recipient of the Smart Marriages Impact Award http://tinyurl.com/qf9b4oy ) and
Rekindling Desire: A Step-by-Step Program to Help Low-Sex and No-Sex Marriages
plus several focused on male sexuality (whole books dealing with premature
ejaculation or with erectile dysfunction) - but it will be interesting to see
what he offers to help men deal with all the aspects of aging. He says he has
written this for helping professionals but also for men to read themselves. (I
would also assume the women in their lives might find it interesting.)
Here is the book blurb: Therapy
with Men after Sixty is a breakthrough book for professionals that helps
them open their clients’ minds to new ways of thinking, behaving, and feeling
about the aging process. The authors adopt a realistic but optimistic tone as
they carefully examine the psychological, relational, and sexual aspects of life
after 60, while also dispelling common myths. Topics addressed include how to
build and maintain Psychological Well Being, have quality relationships, build
self-esteem, and deal with crisis and loss. Practical topics, such as financial
issues, living situations, and relationships with adult children and
grandchildren are addressed through guidelines, skill exercises, and case
studies. Each chapter helps mental health professionals to account for
individual, couple, cultural, and value differences, making this an unparalleled
resource for helping men successfully meet the challenges of aging.
Forthcoming
conferences and events
·
Forthcoming
conferences
Details of all forthcoming conferences can always be found under our listing at
2-in-2-1
·
Study day to explore
Catholic-Muslim marriages
Marriage between Muslims and Catholics in particular and Christians
more broadly is becoming increasingly more common. The issues raised are complex
and little appreciated. Bringing
together the expertise of theologians, canon lawyers, providers of marriage
preparation and pastors, this
study day explores the challenges. In association with Marriage Care, the
Heythrop Centre for Christianity and Inter-religious Dialogue and the
Christian-Muslim Forum.
To be held on Wednesday
19 November 2014, 10.30am – 4pm, at Heythrop College, Kensington Square, London
W8 5HN
Consultations
and Campaigns
Below is our running list of current and recent consultations and
campaigns. New items or those requiring action are highlighted. The Reference
numbers are to the newsletter where we covered the subject.
Soap
Box!!
·
Marriage or ‘Miserable
Minimalism’!
Today sees the publication of the manifesto from the Relationships
Alliance – the thoughts of the ‘big four’ in our sector on what a future
government of any flavour could do to strengthen family relationships in this
country. The fact that this work is also funded by the DfE must also be praised
– it makes a change from telling charities they should not lobby or have a
political viewpoint!!
The manifesto contains some fairly predictable, but nonetheless
welcome items: a department for Families with a cabinet minister, expanding the
role of Family Centres per the Australian model (though they have rapidly
morphed in to family crisis centres there) and so on. It’s all rather
pedestrian, predictable, and safe – there’s nothing very edgy or new.
And there is no mention of marriage! Now let me be clear, the word
“marriage” does appear six times in the twelve page manifesto – however four of
these are references to the organisation ‘Marriage Care’, and the other two are
to their marriage preparation services in the section about what works. Now
admittedly they do call for a rebate for couples having a civil marriage
ceremony towards the cost of marriage preparation – but that’s about it! Even
the list of references at the end has nothing about marriage in it – they have
even expunged the research from their pronouncements!!
Let me be clear, I am not saying that marriage is the universal
panacea to every aspect of family policy, nor that every “good” that comes from
stable families is solely the result of family structure – I am not that naïve!!
Of course the mechanisms that hold families together, or break them apart
involve processes – but in almost any other context where one is talking about
the components of capability (eg business) one would be laughed out of the room
for proposing that structure isn’t a component factor. To be honest the absence of mention of
marriage must be a deliberate choice – we know there are voices within the
alliance who do believe that the lifetime commitments of marriage are an
essential foundation for successful processes – to construct a manifesto which
leaves out this thinking must have taken positive action!
The recent publications from Scott Stanley and others point to the
key importance of planned lives –
ones where decisions and commitments happen by decision and intent, rather than
being driven by circumstances and whim. A recent blog
post from Scott Stanley contains this nugget: “We should continue to try to
strengthen and support marriage, which includes figuring out how to counter the
cultural trends that push people away from believing what is obvious: that a
prior settled commitment between two parents makes a real difference for
children.”
Manifestos are about setting out a vision for the future, for
signalling intent and direction. I certainly hope that those drafting the
manifesto’s for their parties will listen to the advice from Relationship
Alliance, but then that they will lift their eyes and grasp the fundamental
importance of marriage to society, and will commit themselves to supporting the
rights of the as yet unborn generations to have parents who have made a firm and
unflinching commitment to be bound together in love for life.
Anything less is miserable minimalism!
Best
wishes,
The 2-in-2-1 Team
Technical
Stuff
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