Fwd: MONTHLY MM's & PP's - AUGUST, 2014

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From: Susan Vogt <susanvogt1@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 21, 2014 at 7:01 AM
Subject: MONTHLY MM's & PP's - AUGUST, 2014
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

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Marriage Moments & Parenting Pointers
AUGUST - 2014


Family heart


I offer you these tidbits of wisdom as prayer prompts to remind you (and your constituents) of the sacredness of marriage vows and the value of every child. The commitment to love a spouse forever, and the generous gift of life parents offer a child are indeed spiritual under-takings and cannot be done alone. May the God of Love be with you and your work.

FOR MORE extended marriage and parenting articles, plus archived Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers, go to: www.SusanVogt.net
*BLOG: Living Lightly.


You are welcome to reprint these MM's and PP's in bulletins, newsletters, and on your website with proper credit, ("By Susan Vogt, www.SusanVogt.net")
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Dear Bill ,
Below are your Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers for AUGUST. 


BONUS for pastoral leaders:
Want to introduce your people to Pope Francis' Evangelii Gaudium (Joy of the Gospel) in small bite size pieces? I did the work, so you won't have to. I pulled out my 97 favorite quotes. and call them 
If a parish put 1-a-week in their parish bulletin it would cover almost two years of inspiration. They are yours to use, free. Enjoy. 

585. Aug. 4: A trip down Memory Lane #3: As your relationship developed and you started to grow fonder of each other, what is one of the first endearing qualities you can remember that attracted you to your beloved?


586. Aug. 11: Just as Elijah recognized the Lord in a "tiny whispering sound" (1 Kings 19:13) so we must attune ourselves to the sometimes subtle signals our spouse gives of distress, warmth, concern. Learn to read between the lines.


587. Aug. 18: "A Canaanite woman...called out, "Have pity on me, Lord!...My daughter is tormented by a demon." (Mt 15:22) Jesus healed the daughter. Sometimes it is our intense love for our children that drives us to seek God. Let a child be a vehicle of grace for you today.


588. Aug. 25: A trip down Memory Lane #4: Can you remember when you first said "I love you" to your beloved? The place? The time? Recollect the feelings that welled up in you as a result.

*Marriage Moments go out to individuals on Mondays. For Sunday bulletins use the Sunday immediately before the above date. 


583. Aug. 1: "All you who are thirsty, come to the water!...Come receive grain and eat...wine and milk!" (Isaiah 55:1) What is your family's favorite drink or food? Pick a day this week for each person to have one favorite food or drink.


584. Aug. 8:  10 Life Skills Your Teen Needs Before Leaving Home. #4 is Good Social Skills and Manners. #5 is Auto Maintenance. #6 is Essential Domestic Skills. Only Auto maintenance needs to wait till the teen years. Start at whatever age your child is. http://imom.com/10-life-skills-your-teen-needs-before-leaving-home/


585. Aug. 15: The Assumption. Mary's "Yes" of the Magnificat was the vehicle for God's entry into human history. Her Assumption into heaven brings closure to her role on earth - or does it? Just as the birth of your child is not the end of a mother's labor so when your child moves out of your home it is not the end of your parenting.


586. Aug. 22: Jesus said to the apostle, Simon, "I say to you, you are Peter" which means rock. (Mt. 16:18) Does your child know what his/her name means? Do you have nicknames or pet names for any of your children? Do they know the saint that their name comes from?


587. Aug. 29:  10 Life Skills Your Teen Needs Before Leaving Home. #7 is Being a Good Judge of Character. #8 is Work Skills and Basic Responsibility Any teen will flub these goals occasionally. That's what you're there for - to be there for the training period. http://imom.com/10-life-skills-your-teen-needs-before-leaving-home/ 


Parenting Pointers go out to individuals on Fridays. For Sunday bulletins, use the closest Friday.
© 2014 Susan Vogt
MAIL: 523 E. Southern Ave., Covington, KY 41015 
WEBSITE: www.SusanVogt.net
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Susan Vogt | 523 E. Southern Ave | Covington | KY | 41015

Fwd: Inst. Family Studies (@FamStudies) mentioned you on Twitter!

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From: Inst. Family Studies (via Twitter) <notify@twitter.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 18, 2014 at 10:01 AM
Subject: Inst. Family Studies (@FamStudies) mentioned you on Twitter!
To: billcoffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

Friday Five: Predicting divorce, considering dads disposable, and more links from @billcoffin - @FamStudies
You were mentioned in a Tweet!
Inst. Family Studies @FamStudies

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  02:01 PM - 18 Jul 14

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Fwd: "Married, Spouse Present" - Ethics & Religion Col.

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From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Wed, Jul 16, 2014 at 12:06 AM
Subject: "Married, Spouse Present" - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,716
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>

July 16, 2014

Column #1716

“Married, Spouse Present”

By Mike McManus


            The Census Bureau reports that of the 250 million Americans who are 15 or older, only 49.1% are married with a “spouse present.” That’s a grim figure.  There are another 3.5 million whose spouse is absent and 5.6 million who are separated.  Many are facing a likely divorce.


            If we ask what percent of those aged 20 or older are married, spouse present, the figure is a more encouraging 53.5%.


            However, that is still quite low, down from 75% in 1971. 


            What’s tragic is that marriage seems to be slipping away from most Americans. A tenth of adults are divorced and un-remarried.  There are also 57.6 million Americans over age 20 who have never married. 


Yet millions are having children.   Among parents aged 26 to 31 who did not graduate from college, three-quarters of the mothers and 70% of fathers have had a child outside of marriage.


For 25 years nearly three-quarters of black children have been born out-of-wedlock. However, 36% of births to whites are now to unmarried parents – up from 7.9% in 1975.  In fact, 53% of all births to women under age 30 are to single women.


Why?  Are high school kids so drenched in sex that marriage is on no one’s horizon? No.  According to the Annual Report on Family Trends by Patrick Fagan of the Family Research Council, the percentage of high school students who have had sex has dropped from 82% for blacks in 1991 to only 60% in 2011; and it has fallen for white kids from 50% to 44%.


The deeper problem is the drop of family income of everyone.


The inflation adjusted average income for all men rose from $20,000 to $35,000 by 1970, inched up to $37,500 by 2010 but dropped to $34,500 in 2012. Even those with professional degrees have taken a hit. They earned $111,000 in 2000 but $100,000 in 2012.  The proportion of middle-income households dropped from 61% in 1971 to only 51% in 2011.


Falling income makes people hesitate to commit to marriage – particularly those in “Middle America,” who are 25 to 60 with a high school degree.  Four decades ago, these moderately educated Americans were as likely as college graduates to marry. Only 13% of high school educated mothers had children outside of marriage in the 1980s. That figure is now 44% - close to the least educated mothers, 54% of whom had unwed births.


However, the major marriage-killer is cohabitation.  This assertion would surprise many young people who go to weddings where two-thirds cohabited first.  However, of more than 8 million couples living together last year only 1.4 million married.   Four out of five broke up.


And 41% of them had a child.   What are the odds are that a woman with a child will marry?  Slim. Most men want to have their own child with whoever they marry, not another man’s.


What can be done?  Here are three answers.


While incomes have fallen in recent years, those who marry will fare much better than those who remain single. Median family income, adjusted for inflation of married couples grew steadily from $28,000 in 1947 to $55,000 in 1970, on up to $80,000 in 2010.  In just two years, it fell to $75,000 – but that’s good income.


Second, ask your pastor to preach a sermon on cohabitation.  I have asked hundreds of pastors if they have ever preached a whole sermon warning about the dangers of living together outside of marriage.  About one hand in 50 goes up.  It is easier to preach on Abraham – and far less useful to a generation who believes they ought to “test the relationship” first.


As one marriage educator put it, “You can’t practice permanence.”  The pastor should say, “The best way to test the relationship is by taking a test – a premarital inventory which asks the man and woman separately whether they agree or disagree with 150 statements like `I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner.’


“Then the couple should sit down with a trained Mentor Couple to discuss the issues which are surfaced.”


Finally, the government should stop subsidizing unmarried couples to have children. The cohabiting woman with a new baby has the benefit of her partner’s income as if married.  She should not be given $25,000 of subsidies, as if she were raising the child alone.  For cohabiting couples with children, governors should encourage them to marry by not cutting benefits if they marry for two years, with subsidies tapering off over three more years.


The states that subsidize marriage will have rising marriage rates, falling unwed births, and save billions of taxpayer dollars.

Copyright © 2014 by Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist.





Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly


9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854




Fwd: Institute for Family Studies Newsletter, 7/10/14: Thinking about divorce, forming healthy habits, and more

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Family Studies" <editor@family-studies.org>
Date: Jul 10, 2014 2:55 PM
Subject: Institute for Family Studies Newsletter, 7/10/14: Thinking about divorce, forming healthy habits, and more
To: "Bill" <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

View this email in your browser.

This Week on Family-Studies.org

We showed why fighting child obesity requires family involvement, profiled today’s stay-at-home dads, and reported on the long-term effects on women of having a child outside of marriage. We also discovered a surprising difference in how men and women come to consider divorce.

Men vs. Women on Divorce

by Scott Stanley

Negative interactions and lacking positive bonds with their spouse can both prompt married people to consider divorce—but they affect men and women differently, suggesting the two hold different standards for judging marital success.

The Effects of Single Motherhood

by Anna Sutherland

For women, giving birth to one’s first child outside marriage has a lasting impact on educational attainment, employment, and family stability, according to a new report from the Census.

Forming Healthy Habits

by Ashley McGuire

A balanced approach to eating, like nearly all good or bad habits, begins in the home. That means fighting the spread of child obesity will take more than healthy school lunches.

Today’s Stay-at-Home Dads

by Anna Sutherland

Stay-at-home fathers, like at-home mothers, have become more common since the late 1990s. Unfortunately, that’s mainly due to the 2008 recession and the sluggish recovery that has followed.

IFS Around the Web

New York Times columnist Ross Douthat commended IFS research fellows David and Amber Lapp’s “fine-grained work on the down-and-out young working class” in a blog post this week after the Lapps and Charles Stokes wrote about religion and divorce in The Federalist.
View more Family-Studies blog posts.
Copyright © 2014 Institute for Family Studies, All rights reserved.
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Charlottesville, VA 22904

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Fwd: Saying "I do" marks only the beginning

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From: IPS Online Education <customerservice@ipsciences.edu>
Date: Tue, Jul 8, 2014 at 10:21 AM
Subject: Saying "I do" marks only the beginning
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

IPS Online Education Logo

It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes.

In this Issue
Dear Bill,
White and summer go together for two reasons. First, there's that old rule of dress that white can only be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day. The second reason is more significant and less outdated. White indicates that wedding season is upon greyscale-wedding-dress.jpgus. It begins in June when 13,000 Americans each day are wedded.

Weddings have long been celebrations shared with family and friends. Yet often the essence of the wedding--the marriage--becomes lost in the details and delight of the occasion. You only have to look at the number of wedding boards on Pinterest, flip past Wedding Crashers playing on cable, or check the rising costs of weddings (one measure found the average cost is $25,200) to realize how often the focus is shifted.

The Catholic faith has always understood a wedding as more than a party or cultural trend, instead maintaining the human and Sacramental significance of the marital union that begins at the wedding. The Catechism says, "Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes." 

Pope Francis captured it perfectly when he told World Youth Day Volunteers, "Today, there are those who say that marriage is out of fashion. Is it out of fashion? In a culture of relativism and the ephemeral, many preach the importance of 'enjoying' the moment. They say that it is not worth making a life-long commitment, making a definitive decision, 'for ever', because we do not know what tomorrow will bring. I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, I ask you to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes you are incapable of responsibility, that believes you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage 'to swim against the tide'." 
Psychological research has also generated its own body of knowledge explaining what ingredients make a lasting, fulfilling marriage. Last month, The Atlantic published an article on the decades of research conducted by John Gottman. In 1990 he and his colleagues observed 130 newlywed couples for an afternoon. They found striking differences in the way couples interacted with one another. Gottman explains that when a person attempts to connect with his or her spouse, the spouse may "turn-toward" (by responding positively with attention and interest) or "turn-away (by ignoring the attempt or responding blandly). Six years after the observation, couples that had divorced "turned-toward" only 33% of the attempts at connection, whereas the couples that remained happily married, "turned-toward" one another nearly every time (an impressive 87%). His research supports what faith teaches--that love expressed in kindness is foundational to marriage.

At IPS, we want to be part of the solution to promoting lasting marriages and strong families, who know how to show love and repair hurt. To this end, we are offering a 40% discount on two certificates "Marriage and Family Support" and "Conflict Resolution Skills" for the next five days.
*Keep reading for more details on these programs and the opportunity to receive a free webinar!


God bless and happy wedding season,

Signature for Stephen P. Grundman, Ph.D. 

Stephen Grundman, Ph.D.

Director of Online Product Development

Office of Online Education

Institute for the Psychological Sciences


Wedding Season Double-Feature

Presented by: Greg Kolodziejczak, Psy.D., William Nordling, Ph.D., Richard Fitzgibbons, M.D., and Thomas Lickona, Ph.D.


Weddings are certainly beautiful days of celebration, but they celebrate unity and the beginning of a future to share. In this certificate, presenters focus on the practices that help build a loving marital relationship based on communication and empathy. For the time when spouses become parents, they also present research and strategies for parents.



Sequence of presentations:

  1. Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Families, and Communities
  2. Helping Couples in Distress
  3. Guarding Against Narcissism 
  4. Building Families of Character 
Course normally priced at $400, but from now until midnight on Sunday, you can purchase it for only $240 (reduced by 40%) by following this link.
Presented by: Greg Kolodziejczak, Psy.D., Ian Butler, M.A., LMHP, and Paul C. Vitz, Ph.D.


In our best moments, we are compassionate, loving, and encouraging, yet there are moments where people fall short. For this reason, it is important to know how to make reparations and accept another's apologies. This is particularly true for those who are closest, with spouses, parents, and children. 


Sequence of presentations:

  1. Conflict Resolution in Marriage, Families, and Communities
  2. Re-discovering Righteous Anger: Be Angry But Do Not Sin 
  3. Inner Healing, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation 
  4. Interpersonal Hatred and Other Barriers
Course normally priced at $500, but from now until midnight on Sunday, you can purchase it for only $300 (reduced by 40%) by following this link.
 *As an added bonus, if you purchase both of these courses, we will give you Dr. Vitz's webinar American Psychology Discovers Morality: 1950-2010 for free!


What Our Supporters Are Saying:

"The IPS online certificates are everything I had hoped! The psychology is accessible and relevant, and respectful of my Catholic faith. I wholeheartedly recommend these programs to anyone who works helping and serving others."
-Jonathan Tonkowich,
Dean of Students,
Wyoming Catholic College,
Lander, WY
Coming Next Month!
IPS Online Education has been working hard and fast. We just finished updating all of our existing programs to a more streamlined presentation.

Now we are off to bring you TWO new Certificate Programs, so be sure to look for our next email newsletter to find out the theme of our newest course!




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Fwd: July webinar: Beyond the Feds – Proven Fundraising Strategies for Healthy Relationship Programs

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "The Dibble Institute" <relationshipskills@dibbleinstitute.org>
Date: Jul 7, 2014 1:39 PM
Subject: July webinar: Beyond the Feds – Proven Fundraising Strategies for Healthy Relationship Programs
To: "Bill Coffin" <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

Beyond the Feds – 

Proven Fundraising Strategies for

Healthy Relationship Programs

Carol Jackson, Erin Stone, and Kathy Schleier 
Learn proven strategies of raising private money for relationship skills classes with youth. Our panel will discuss a wide variety of methods they have used to fund classes that help teens get smart about their love lives.

Panelists: Carol Jackson, Program Director of Families Matter in Memphis, TN.Erin Stone, Executive Director of Relationship Skills Center in Sacramento, CA. Kathy Schleier, Executive Director of Family Frameworks in Dalton, GA.

Who should attend: Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood programs, Community Action Agencies, Extension agents, community based organizations, faith based organizations.

When: Wednesday, July 9th, 2014
, 4:00 pm Eastern/
1:00 pm Pacific
Duration: 60 minutes 
Cost: Free!

Register NOW!  by clicking on this link.
Questions about Webinars? 
PO Box 7881, Berkeley, California 94707, United States
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Fwd: Latest Scoops on Healthy Marriage Links and Clips

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Date: Sun, Jul 6, 2014 at 2:29 PM
Subject: Latest Scoops on Healthy Marriage Links and Clips
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

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Fwd: Marriage Monthly: The Beatitudes, Marriage, and Family, 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage, and More

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From: USCCB <marriage@usccb.org>
Date: Wed, Jul 2, 2014 at 3:08 PM
Subject: Marriage Monthly: The Beatitudes, Marriage, and Family, 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage, and More
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

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For Your Marriage  
marriage monthly
July 2014

Home   Dating & Engaged    Parenting & Family    For Every Marriage    About Catholic Marriage

Featured Story:   
The Beatitudes, Marriage, and Family    

Pope Francis described the Beatitudes as a "program for holiness." This series examines how the Beatitudes can serve as a program for holiness in our marriages and families.




Marriage in the News: 

The Bishops Find a Pulse on the State of the Family  

As preparations continue for the Extraordinary Synod of Bishops in October 2014, Emily Macke discusses the "Instrumentum Laboris," the preparatory document for the Synod that addresses the Bishops' concern for marriage and family life.



Pope Francis Corner: 

Parents, Play With Your Children 


Pope Francis reminds parents of the importance of slowing down and taking time to play with their children and spending time together as a family.


 READ MORE >>    


Featured Blog:  

School of Agape: Becoming a Family

When Anthony and Sara enter the sacrament of marriage in a few months, they will not simply be starting their life together as a married couple but as a family. Anthony reflects on his future family with Sara in light of Pope St. John Paul II's Letter to Families.

READ MORE >>    


Book of the Month:
101 Tips for a Happier Marriage: Simple Ways to Grow Closer to God and Each Other   
By Jennifer Roback Morse and Betsy Kerekes; Reviewed by Mary Ann Paulukonis

Jennifer Roback Morse and Betsy Kerekes present 101 tips with reflections for spouses to better serve their spouse and family.




In This Issue
The Beatitudes, Marriage, and Family
The Bishops Find a Pulse on the State of the Family
Pope Francis Corner: Parents, Play With Your Children
School of Agape: Becoming a Family
Book Review: 101 Tips for a Happier Marriage
Marriage Tip of the Month
July 16:

(Reader's Tip) "In each challenging situation I strive to remember that this man is God's amazing gift to me, and that God trusts me to love him with the same love God has for us."  


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Fwd: Relationship Smarts PLUS Wins Association of American Publishers Award

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The Dibble Institute <relationshipskills@dibbleinstitute.org>
Date: Mon, Jun 30, 2014 at 6:30 PM
Subject: Relationship Smarts PLUS Wins Association of American Publishers Award
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

Media Contact
Kay Reed
Relationship Smarts PLUS
Wins Association of American Publishers Award
Berkeley, CA--June 30, 2014—The Dibble Institute is pleased to announce that Relationship Smarts PLUS has won the prestigious 2014 Revere Award for Distinguished Achievement in the supplementary life skills and character education category from the Association of American Publishers (AAP). This is the fourth Distinguished Achievement Award earned by a Dibble program since 2009.
Judges comments included, “Wow! This curriculum beautifully, honestly and realistically explains the relationship process in easy to understand and remember terms. It not only engages (teens) in building their critical thinking skills and goal setting, but it also hits all the important points of current teen life.”
Relationship Smarts PLUS is listed in the National Registry of Evidence Based Programs and Practices (NREPP). In 2005 the program was selected for a 5-year, million dollar federal evaluation study at Auburn University. During the study, author, Marline Pearson and researcher, Jennifer Kerpelman, Ph.D. worked and reworked Relationship Smarts PLUS based on student results and teacher comments to focus in on the essential messages and the most effective ways to deliver them.
Outcomes from the study indicate that young people who participated in the Relationship Smarts PLUS program were more knowledgeable about what was and was not healthy in relationships, held more realistic relationship beliefs, had improved conflict management skills, and expressed an increased openness to taking relationship education classes in the future.
In the Distinguished Achievement Awards (DAAs), entries are subject to a rigorous judging process consisting of three rounds of review by teachers and leading experts throughout the industry. Three key principles--quality content, age appropriateness, and innovation--drive the judging criteria and evaluation process. The semi-finalists in the Life Skills and Character Education Resources were Emotional ABC’s and Sesame Workshop.
Since 2009, Dibble Institute’s programs have received four Distinguished Achievement Awards; Relationship Smarts PLUS (first edition) - 2009; Healthy Choices, Healthy Relationships - 2010, Things to Know Before You Say Go Activity Book – 2012, and Relationship Smarts PLUS (revision) - 2014.
The Dibble Institute has been publishing evidence based, best practices, evaluated programs relationship skills programs since 1996. Their highly acclaimed curricula are used in all 50 states and around the world in settings ranging from public schools to juvenile detention facilities and from after-school programs to pregnancy prevention efforts.
“Our mission at The Dibble Institute is to help young people learn how to navigate their romantic lives,” Kay Reed, Executive Director, explained. “We know from our research that teens who participate in these programs are more likely to resolve conflicts non-violently and more likely to know how to build a healthy relationship. We so appreciate the AAP distinguished panel of educators’ awareness of the relevance and pertinence of our publications.”
Keep in touch with The Dibble Institute through our new Facebook page.
PO Box 7881, Berkeley, California 94707, United States
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