Fwd: Recovering Origins: A Unique Healing Retreat for Adult Children of Divorce

Recovering Origins: A Unique Healing Retreat for Adult Children of Divorce

Recovering Origins
is a three day retreat at the Saint John Paul II National Shrine that invites participants to move through the broken image of love that appeared to them in their parents’ divorce to their deepest origin and identity as God’s beloved. The retreat gives participants a greater understanding of the wound of divorce and the ways it affects their lives, offers advice about the difficulties concerning love and trust of others, and explains how the Catholic faith, spiritual practices, and the Sacraments are essential to self-knowledge and healing. The retreat begins on Friday, May 1st at 6:30 P.M. and ends on Sunday, May 3rd at 3:30 P.M. Cost per individual is $75 (includes several meals) and space is limited. Scholarships are available upon request. Please note that the retreat neither includes nor requires overnight lodging, but lodging in the area is available on a first-come, first-serve basis for those who would like to purchase it. To register or to request more information please email Daniel Meola at Daniel.Meola@jp2shrine.org.

        My dream is that this retreat will be offered 2-3 times a year or more if needed at the Shrine. I pray we can really start healing the wounds of the culture through this retreat. Please keep it in your prayers.

        If you have any questions about the retreat, then please don't hesitate to email me. Thank you.

Daniel Meola

Attached is the flyer for the Recovering Origins retreat at the Shrine. Also, here is the Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/events/659858594144824/


Also, here is the highlight blurb about the retreat:


Recovering Origins: A Unique Healing Retreat for Adult Children of Divorce

Recovering Origins is a three day retreat at the Saint John Paul II National Shrine that invites participants to move through the broken image of love that appeared to them in their parents’ divorce to their deepest origin and identity as God’s beloved. The retreat gives participants a greater understanding of the wound of divorce and the ways it affects their lives, offers advice about the difficulties concerning love and trust of others, and explains how the Catholic faith, spiritual practices, and the Sacraments are essential to self-knowledge and healing. The retreat begins on Friday, May 1st at 6:30 P.M. and ends on Sunday, May 3rd at 3:30 P.M. Cost per individual is $75 (includes several meals) and space is limited. Scholarships are available upon request. Please note that the retreat neither includes nor requires overnight lodging, but lodging in the area is available on a first-come, first-serve basis for those who would like to purchase it. To register or to request more information please email Daniel Meola at Daniel.Meola@jp2shrine.org.


Please send this to whoever you think would be interested!




Daniel J. Meola
Ph.D Candidate
The Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family

"Why must we give ourselves fully to God? Because God has given Himself to us. If God who owes nothing to us is ready to impart to us no less than Himself, shall we answer with just a fraction of ourselves? To give ourselves fully to God is a means of receiving God Himself. I for God and God for me." - Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Fwd: Inst. Family Studies (@FamStudies) mentioned you on Twitter!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Inst. Family Studies (via Twitter) <notify@twitter.com>
Date: Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 10:25 AM
Subject: Inst. Family Studies (@FamStudies) mentioned you on Twitter!
To: billcoffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

The rising median age at first marriage, tools to prepare teens for parenthood, and more links from @billcoffin - @FamStudies
You were mentioned in a Tweet!
Inst. Family Studies @FamStudies

The rising median age at first marriage, tools to prepare teens for parenthood, and more links from @billcoffin family-studies.org/friday-five-76/

  02:25 PM - 10 Apr 15

Reply to @FamStudies
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Fwd: Marriage in Decline: No Big Deal?/ Register NOW For Upcoming Webinar!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) <julie@narme.org>
Date: Thu, Apr 9, 2015 at 2:12 PM
Subject: Marriage in Decline: No Big Deal?/ Register NOW For Upcoming Webinar!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

In This Issue
The "Decline" of Marriage Isn't a Problem
For decades now, a dispute has raged between liberals and conservatives about whether the decline in marriage is a cause or a consequence of economic problems for the American working class. Read More 
 Marriage Decline is not a Problem.  Really?
Last week, Matthew Yglesias argued in Vox that the "decline" of marriage in America, and around the globe, "isn't a problem."  Read More
When Families Fragment, Honor the Suffering
Toby, 21, laughs and shakes his head no when asked if his parents ever married. "Thank God for that! I don't really believe in marriage-never have, never will."  Read More 
5 Reasons Marriage Doesn't Work Anymore

Marriages today just don't work.

The million-dollar question? Why not?

It's a pretty simple concept - fall in love and share your life together. Our great grandparents did it, our grandparents followed suit, and for many of us, our parents did it as well.

Why the hell can't we? Read More 

Exhibitor Opportunities! First Come, First Served!

We are excited to announce exhibitor opportunities at the 5th Annual NARME National Leadership Summit at the Renaissance Waverly Hotel in Atlanta, GA.


There are a limited number of spaces available, so take advantage of this opportunity early. You will not want to miss out on this fantastic event! Click here for more information 

What Do Milennials Really Think About Marriage? 

Millennial Armageddon?  This article offers their take on Millennial's point of view. GET THE LATEST RESEARCH!  You won't want to miss hearing Charles Kenny speak at the Leadership Summit about the research he has just completed with working class millennial concerning marriage and relationships. Read Article Here 

Curious about the 2015 NARME Leadership Summit? Get a Sneak Peek!  


Register now for April 15 Sneak Peek Webinar!


Join us for a look at the national leaders who will be presenting provocative plenaries and workshops that will be offering cutting-edge resources for you both personally and professionally! This Summit is about helping you move your organization from good to great! There will also be many fun opportunities for networking and sharing with your peers across the country!  It's all happening June 15-17 at the beautiful Renaissance Atlanta Waverly Hotel!  


 Click Here to Register  



May 20 NARME Webinar 


Get A Brain! From toddlers to teens on into adulthood there has been a tremendous amount of research in the news about brain development.  Many of you asked if we could get Dr. Dan Siegel, one of the world's leading authorities on brain development, to speak for NARME.  Unfortunately, Dr. Siegel will be in Singapore at the time of our Leadership Summit; however, he agreed to do a webinar on May 20 about brain development and its impact on relationships.Register now and feel free to tell your friends.  This is going to be an outstanding webinar!



Learning Objectives:

  1. Understand the universal processes at the heart of an interpersonal neurological view of human development. 
  2. Learn the neural circuitry of self-regulation and how it develops within early relationships.
  3. Apply the principles of integration and understand how chaos and rigidity emerge when integration is impaired.

Register Here and Learn More   


All Things Leadership Summit

Registration Open! You won't want to miss out on the NARME Leadership Summit!

You can register for The Summit and reserve your spot for workshops today. You will also have the opportunity to sign up for the Networking Event at Main Event as well as pre-purchase the conference recordings through Playback Now at a 25% discount.


You can find the list of workshops and times as well as the plenary speakers listed on the NARME Summit website. Click Here  



2015 NARME Leadership Summit Workshops

Stay Connected

Like us on Facebook

Interested in joining NARME?

Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) |info@narme.org  | http://www.narme.org
P.O. Box 14946
Tallahassee, FL 32317

Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

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This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by julie@narme.org |  

Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) | P.O. Box 14946 | Tallahassee | FL | 32317

Fwd: Your Time - Your place: Replay Recordings of Virtual Marriage Enrichment Groups

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Better Marriages" <phunt@bettermarriages.org>
Date: Apr 8, 2015 1:01 AM
Subject: Your Time - Your place: Replay Recordings of Virtual Marriage Enrichment Groups
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

Logo 500x400
Your Facilitators:
Eddie and Sylvia Robertson 

Your Facilitators:
Michael and Suanne Yarbrough 

Your Facilitators:
Bill and Linda McConahey 

Recordings, including audio and slides, of all Virtual Marriage Enrichment Groups are available. Select the topic that is most interesting to you. Click here to listen in when it's convenient for you.

to learn more about Marriage Enrichment Groups (MEGs)
to learn more about Membership in Better Marriages
Join our Mailing List
Free Newsletter!

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This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by phunt@bettermarriages.org |  

Better Marriages | P.O. Box 21374 | Winston-Salem | NC | 27120

Fwd: Have Greater Client Impact Today Webinar Series

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The RIDGE Project <info@theridgeproject.com>
Date: Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 9:13 AM
Subject: Have Greater Client Impact Today Webinar Series
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


"Have Greater Client Impact Today!" Webinar Series


Hosted by: The RIDGE Project

Cost:  FREE

Dates:  4/2 (completed), 4/7, 4/14

Times:  1:30pm EST - 2:30pm EST

Featured Presenters:  Ron & Catherine Tijerina, Scott Beck & the Gloo team, and Drs. Phyllis & Sherod Miller

Are you looking to make a greater impact in your community?  Are you ready to combine cutting-edge technology with proven results?  If so, make sure you join us for Webinar #2 today at 1:30pm EST  to learn  more from relationship and communication experts Drs. Sherod & Phyllis Miller!


Our free webinar series, "Have Greater Client Impact Today!", can help you transform yourself or your organization into an effective catalyst for making positive impacts in the areas of healthy relationships, responsible fatherhood, and workforce development.


Our evidence-based TYRO curricula, combined with the TYRO Digital Platform, offers the perfect solution for addressing the needs of at-risk populations and promoting healthy choices and responsible decisions.  This platform is the future of case management, utilizing real-time data tracking to provide essential information about client progress in real-time.  It integrates seamlessly with the robust services we offer and has been shown to bridge the gap between classes and meetings.


Do you want to get in on the ground floor of this paradigm shift in case management?  Consider including TYRO in your grant application!


We are looking for other like-minded individuals or organizations that wish to have greater client impact today.  Space is limited, so don't delay.


Webinar #1 (completed, view here)


Webinar #2, April 7th, 1:30pm EST - 2:30pm EST:

-Ron & Cathy Tijerina, Drs. Phyllis & Sherod Miller

  • Applying technology to effective, evidence-based programming
  • Healthy relationship
  • Responsible fatherhood

Webinar #3, April 14th, 1:30pm EST - 2:30pm EST:

-Ron & Cathy Tijerina, Dr. Jeff Fray & The Gloo Team

  • How to pull it all together
  • What you will need
  • Next steps

Featured Presenters:


Ron and Catherine Tijerina are nationally respected advocates for families, authors, and speakers. Through The RIDGE Project, their dynamic and inspiring leadership has helped transform tens of thousands of lives across the country.



Sherod Miller, Ph.D., is Chief Executive Officer of ICP.  He heads instructor training plus materials a nd program development.  He also conducts training in interpersonal communication and team-building for corporations and other organizations.  Phyllis A. Miller, Ph.D., is President of ICP.  She manages certification of instructors, continuing education, and the editorial process, as well as conducts training. Their programs are used by Health Marriage grantees, Responsible Fatherhood grantees, the US Army, colleges, and by agencies and counselors around the country.



Here Are the Details on Our Successful TYRO Programming!


TYRO: (Latin, n): an apprentice, novice, or young warrior, someone learning

something new, or founding father.


TYRO, our flagship suite of programs, was created and is based on the Tijerina family's personal experience with welfare and incarceration. It is comprised of three components: TYRO Dads, Couple Communication®, and TYRO Job Ethics Training (JET). TYRO is a holistic, multi-faceted character-building program, designed to strengthen individuals and families. It teaches participants how to overcome destructive generational cycles of poverty, incarceration, and dependency.



  • TYRO Dads
  • TYRO Job Ethics Training (JET)
  • Couple Communication

Our TYRO programs offer individuals a clear picture of what responsibility looks like, and how they can achieve success within themselves and their own family.


The RIDGE Project's nationally recognized TYRO Programs have yielded the following positive results:


Ex-Offender Recidivism
3.28% one-year rate for TYROs! 


98.9% of TYRO participants improved in at least one responsible parenting or healthy marriage category!


Workforce Development
225 clients placed in jobs generating over $6 million in taxable wages!*

Infraction Rate

TYROs are 46.2% less likely to have an infraction than non-TYROs!**


*For participants who completed the TYRO program and obtained employment between April 2012 and August 2013. Clients were obtaining employment prior to April 2012, but tracking employment data did not begin until April 2012.


**As recently measured at Belmont Correctional Institution.


"This project has been very successful in reuniting families, in particular after the fathers leave prison, keeping them home and out of prison. And, to have a successful program that achieves results in that area is absolutey astounding." - Lynn Wachtmann, Former Ohio Senator and State Representative 


Your Resource for Effective, Evidence-Based, and Technology-Driven Programming for Impacting the Areas of Workforce Development, Healthy Relationship or Responsible Fatherhood!


If you missed the first Webinar session last Thursday, no worries!  You can watch it NOW by clicking here.  Webinar #1 details:


Webinar #1, April 2nd, 1:30pm EST - 2:30pm EST:

-Ron & Cathy Tijerina, Scott Beck, Dr. Jeff Fray & The Gloo Team

  • Harnessing the power of technology
  • Technology and the future of program delivery
  • TYRO Digital Platform (MDE), case management, real-time data tracking
 Like us on FacebookView our profile on LinkedInFollow us on TwitterView our videos on YouTube
Join Our Mailing List
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The RIDGE Project | J169 State Route 65 | McClure | OH | 43534

Fwd: Happy Spring Quarter: Conversations on Compassion with Thupten Jinpa, Spring Issue of Compassion Journal, Position Opening and Much More

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: CCARE (Stanford University) <ccare_info@stanford.edu>
Date: Tue, Apr 7, 2015 at 1:01 PM
Subject: Happy Spring Quarter: Conversations on Compassion with Thupten Jinpa, Spring Issue of Compassion Journal, Position Opening and Much More
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

CCARE logo
 The Center for Compassion & 
Altruism Research & Education

In This Issue
New Event: Conversations on Compassion with Thupten Jinpa
This Thursday: Invited Lecture by Emanuele Castano, PhD
Remembering Conversations on Compassion with Thich Nhat Hanh
Conversations on Compassion with Sharon Salzberg
Spring Issue of Compassion Journal
Video: Invited Lecture by Kelly McGonigal
Video: Conversations on Compassion with Glenn Beck
CCARE Quick Links

All CCARE Events

Here is our exciting line-up of upcoming events. Registration is highly recommended for events, so click an event below to save your spot today!

CCT Regional Courses
Below are a few of the regional Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) courses offered outside of Stanford University. Learn more and register below.

April 15: Berkeley, CA

April 22: Sacramento, CA

*Please direct any questions to the CCT teacher leading the course.
"The Loneliness Cure" by Kory Floyd, PhD
In The Loneliness Cure Professor Kory Floyd explores the experience of affection deprivation-a lack of adequate affection afflicting millions of American adults. A culmination of two decades' worth of research, The Loneliness Cure explains why affection is so critical for well-being and why so many adults find themselves wishing for more affection in their lives. The book also articulates six strategies that can help people build stronger affectionate connections with their loved ones. 

*The Loneliness Cure will be released on May 1 and is available for preorder now. For details, visit koryfloyd.com
Second Annual Positive Business Conference

Dates: May 14-15, 2015

Location: University of Michigan Ross School of Business


Would you like to improve your

workplace, engage your employees,

and make a positive impact on the bottom line?


Michigan Ross is hosting the second

Conference on May 14 & 15, 2015. 


Click here to learn more and register to attend.

Mindfulness and Compassion Conference
Dates: June 3-7, 2015
Location: San Francisco State University (SFSU)

The Mindfulness and Compassion Conference: The Art and Science of Contemplative Practice brings together internationally recognized researchers engaged in the scientific study of mindfulness and compassion meditation with seasoned Buddhist teachers and scholars to explore the frontiers of contemplative practice. 

To learn more and register, click here

Stanford's Charter for Compassion
1) Are you a Stanford affiliate?
2) Do you want to increase compassion on the Stanford campus?

If YES, then please sign Stanford's Charter for Compassion to designate Stanford as a compassionate university!

Hear what others at Stanford have to say about compassion.
Charter For Compassion - Stanford University
Charter for Compassion - Stanford University

Subscribe to Mindful, Donate to CCARE!

Our wonderful friends at Mindful magazine want to support our work! Subscribe here, select CCARE and Mindful will donate $10 to us!
Spring Greetings!

Spring has sprung and a new quarter is upon us here at Stanford University. This quarter we hope you will join us for some of our wonderful events, including the newly added Conversations on Compassion with Thupten Jinpa, who has been the principal translator to H.H. the Dalai Lama and is one of the founding members of CCARE. See below for our full schedule of events.


Speaking of Spring, the Spring issue of Compassion Journal has been released and is full of the latest and insightful compassion-related articles. The link to the full articles can be found below.


CCARE would also like to take a moment to reflect on the health of our friend Thich Nhat Hanh, who has suffered from a severe stroke.  We ask that you keep him in your thoughts and send healing wishes his way. To reminisce on his visit to Stanford in 2013, we share the video link to his Conversation on Compassion with our director below.


To stay up to date on the latest developments in compassion research, connect with us via Facebook, TwitterLinkedIn and Instagram.

NEW: Conversations on Compassion with Thupten Jinpa

Date: May 21, 2015

Time: 6:00-7:30pm

Location: TBA, Stanford University


Thupten Jinpa, PhD is a former monk and has been the principal English translator to H.H. the Dalai Lama for nearly thirty years. Trained as a Geshe in the Tibetan tradition Jinpa also holds a BA and PhD from Cambridge University, where he worked as a research fellow. As a visiting scholar at Stanford University, Jinpa was a founding member of CCARE and the principal author of Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT). He is an adjunct professor of religious studies at McGill University, president of the Institute of Tibetan Classics, and chairman of the Mind and Life Institute, which is dedicated to promoting dialogues and collaborations between the sciences and contemplative knowledge, especially Buddhism. 


He is also the author of a forthcoming book, A Fearless Heart, which is now available for preorder.

Learn more about Jinpa's work and register for this event by clicking here.

THIS WEEK: Invited Lecture by Emanuele Castano, PhD

Date: April 9, 2015

Time: 6:00-7:30pm

Location: Clark Center Auditorium, Stanford University


Only a few days left until CCARE's Invited Lecture by Emanuele Castano, PhD!
"Reading Literary Fiction Helps 
Reading Others"


Emanuele Castano is Professor of Psychology at The New School for Social Research in New York. His work revolves around three main areas: Collective Identity, Intergroup Relations and Morality; Social Identity, Ideology, and the Human Condition; and Empathy and Theory of Mind. He has authored more than 50 publications, mostly scientific articles in highly regarded journals, and consulted with international organizations, governments and other institutions.


Don't forget to register to hear Emanuele present this Thursday.

Remembering Conversations on Compassion with Thich Nhat Hanh
As many of you may be aware, the internationally renowned Zen master and Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, has suffered from a severe stroke and is continuing to recover. We would like to reflect on the special time he spent with CCARE for Conversations on Compassion and send our healing wishes.

Conversations on Compassion with Thich Nhat Hanh
Conversations on Compassion with Thich Nhat Hanh on October 24, 2013
Temporary Position Opening at CCARE
CCARE logo
CCARE is pleased to announce an opening for a Temporary Outreach and Program Coordinator. This is a fantastic opportunity for someone excited to provide a wide-range of programmatic support and get some great some experience supporting compassion education!

Learn more about the position and how to apply by clicking here. Applications are due by Wednesday April 22, 2015. 

Questions? Email ccare_info@stanford.edu and be sure to put "Temporary Outreach & Program Coordinator in the subject line.
Stanford Students: MED130/YESplus Retreat
Attention Stanford students! Still looking for a class to take this quarter? Consider taking MED 130: The Practice of Happiness (includes a YESplus workshop)!

The course and YESplus workshop provides us with tools to manage our stress and energy levels, leading us to a more happy, fulfilled, and meaningful life.


How can you take it? Here are two options:


1) YESplus for credit (through the class MED 130, called the Practice of Happiness). The credit workshop is a quarter-long 1/week class with a mini-retreat included. Register for the course on Axess, see MED 130 and APPLY NOW. The class is taught in a small seminar style format and there are very few spaces!

2) The non-credit YESplus workshop is a 4-day workshop, also held on campus. APPLY NOW.

Dates: April 23-26

Thurs & Fri: 6:30pm - 10:00pm

Sat & Sun: 1:00pm - 5:00pm. 


For more information on MED 130 and the YESplus workshop, visit yesplus.stanford.edu.

Questions? Email yespluscourse@gmail.com.
NEXT WEEK: Conversations on Compassion with Sharon Salzberg

Date: April 16, 2015

Time: 6:00-7:30pm

Location: Cubberley Auditorium, Stanford University


Next week Sharon Salzberg, New York Times best-selling author and worldwide meditation teacher will join CCARE for Conversations on Compassion. 


Sharon is Co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Barre, Massachusetts. She has been leading meditation retreats worldwide since 1974.  She has played a crucial role in bringing Asian meditation practices to the West. The ancient Buddhist practices of vipassana (mindfulness) and metta (lovingkindness) are the foundations of her work. 


Register here to reserve your spot today.

4/18 & 4/19: "Lovingkindness" and "Equanimity" Daylong Retreats 

Take a day for yourself and experience a daylong retreat led by Sharon Salzberg! 


She will be teaching Lovingkindness on April 18 and Equanimity: The Balance Born of Wisdom on April 19, at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. Learn more and register here.

5/28: Meng-Wu Lecture by Owen Flanagan Jr, PhD

Date: May 28, 2015

Time: 6:00-7:30pm

Location: Pigott Hall, Stanford University


Owen Flanagan Jr, PhD will present a Meng-Wu lecture:


"Stoic and Buddhist Views on Elimination of Anger"


He is the James B. Duke University Professor at Duke University. He is also Co-director of the Center for Comparative Philosophy.


He has written many articles, reviews, and contributed to colloquia as well as written and edited many books, including "The Bodhisattva's Brain: Buddhism Naturalized" (MIT 2011). He is currently finishing a book, "The Geography of Morals: Varieties of Moral Possibilities," which Oxford will publish.


Learn more and register here to attend.

6/3: Conversations on Compassion with Matthieu Ricard
Date: June 3, 2015

Time: 6:00-7:30pm

Location: Berg Hall at Li Ka Shing Center (LKSC), Stanford University


Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk who left a career in cellular genetics to study Buddhism in the Himalayas over 45 years ago. As a trained scientist and Buddhist monk, he is uniquely positioned in the dialogue between East and West. He is an international best-selling author and a prominent speaker on the world stage, celebrated at the World Economic Forum at Davos and at TED where over four million people have viewed his TED talk on happiness.


His latest book, "Altruism, The Power of Compassion to Change Yourself and the World," is now available to pre-order here.

Learn more about Ricard's work and register here to attend.
Read the Latest Issue of Compassion Journal
Compassion Journal has released many new fantastic articles covering compassion related to topics such as stress, the workplace, neuroscience, and more. 

Here are just a few to check out:
VIDEO: Invited Lecture by Kelly McGonigal, PhD
Listen to Kelly McGonigal, PhD speak as she presents her lecture: "How Compassion and Altruism Create Resilience
Invited Lecture: Kelly McGonigal, PhD
Invited Lecture: Kelly McGonigal, PhD on March 12

Don't forget to check out her forthcoming book, "The Upside of Stress," available in stores May 5. You can also preorder the book here.
VIDEO: Conversations on Compassion with Glenn Beck
Compassion is a tool for understanding people who don't look like us or think like us. We are all on a journey, and when we spend time together we realize it is one world and we have to live together in it. We can't judge people by sound bites; ultimately we all want many of the same things: safety, enough food to eat, and the help of others. -Opening remarks by CCARE's Director, Dr. James Doty

Watch the full video from CCARE's event with Glenn Beck below.

Conversations on Compassion with Glenn Beck
Conversations on Compassion with Glenn Beck on March 5

Warm Regards,


The CCARE Team 

Forward this email

This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by ccare_info@stanford.edu |  

Stanford CCARE | 1070 Arastradero Road | 2nd Floor | Palo Alto | CA | 94304

Fwd: Relationship Enhancement Therapy Workshop - May 15-17, 2015

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Thu, Apr 2, 2015 at 8:01 PM
Subject: Relationship Enhancement Therapy Workshop - May 15-17, 2015
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Relationship Enhancement® Therapy with Couples and Families

May 15-17, 2015

Workshop Leader: Rob Scuka, Ph.D., Member of NIRE's Training Faculty

Rob is the author of Relationship Enhancement Therapy: Healing Through Deep Empathy and Intimate Dialogue. and numerous articles on RE and other topics.

Location: The workshop will be held in Bethesda, MD.

Workshop Description: The purpose of this three-day skills training workshop is to provide participants a comprehensive introduction to the theory and methodology underlying the RE model and to teach participants how  to conduct RE Therapy with couples and families, beginning with the intake interview and proceeding through all the phases of RE therapy.

Intensive Supervised Skills Practice: The workshop emphasizes the building of participants' therapeutic skills through a process that combines lecture, video, role-play demonstrations, and intensively supervised skill practice. The number of participants is limited in order to ensure frequent individual supervision when participants break into triads to practice the previously-demonstrated skills.

Workshop Objectives: Participants will learn:

  • How to structure an intake interview so as to minimize in-session conflict and maximize commitment to positive therapeutic engagement
  • How to teach clients the ten RE skills
  • How to structure Conflict Management Skill as a contract between couples
  • How to coach couples' dialogues effectively
  • How to use the Identification Mode of empathy to help couples deepen their dialogues
  • How to use special RE therapy techniques such as Becoming and Troubleshooting
  • How to combine individual therapy of family members with RE couple and family therapy
  • How to overcome power imbalances among family members

Continuing Education: Upon completion, participants receive 20 CE credits for completing this workshop.

IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. IDEALS maintains responsibility for the program and its content.
IDEALS/NIRE is an NBCC-Approved Continuing Education Provider (ACEP) and may offer NBCC -approved clock hours for events that meet NBCC requirements. The ACEP solely is responsible for all aspects of the program.IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the Maryland State Board of Social Work Examiners to offer Category I continuing education programs for social workers. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for the program and adhering to the appropriate guidelines required by the respective organizations.

Number of participants strictly limited to assure ample individual supervision.

Fee: $375 (includes RE Therapist Manual).

For further information, or to register, please call NIRE at 301-680-8977.

Visit our website at www.nire.org. You may also register on-line there as well.

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Fwd: Outline and Talking Points for today

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: James Rodriguez- President & CEO <james.rodriguez@fathersandfamiliescoalition.org>
Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2015 at 2:54 PM
Subject: Outline and Talking Points for today


15 points on How to write a grant:


You can do this.  The secret of great grant writing is following directions.


  1. Read the RFP 5 times to make sure you understand everything
  2. Get a Duns Number if you do not have one
    1. Duns Number
    2. Articles of Incorporation
  3. Logic Model – find example on line—fill in the blanks
    1. It is a planning tool
    2. Explains what you are doing and why you are doing it
  4. Point system
    1. Everything has a point
    2. Must get every point possible:  A+ paper
    3. Extremely competitive
    4. Pages for each section determined by the number of points
    5. No extra pages
    6. Make it easy for the grant writers to score your grant by highlighting areas
  5. Curriculum
    1. Evidenced based
    2. Separation of Church and State
    3. Prepared to serve same sex couples
  6. Get help
    1. Grant writer
  •                                                              i.      You still must write the grant, they are there to assist you
  •                                                             ii.      FFCOA has limited resources to assist you in grant writing
  •                                                             iii.      One person does the budget, another gets the MOU signatures
  •                                                             iv.      Proof read by someone outside your organization to make sure that it makes sense
    1. Different people can help
  1. Make sure your budget balances
    1. Build your budget in a Excel file because it can do automatic calculations
    2. Run your numbers a couple of times to make sure they are accurate
  2. Budget is not available for capital improvements
    1. Don’t ask for more money than is allowed
  3. Get your signatures early on your documents
    1. Two organizations on a page—trouble getting everything perfect
  4. Where and how are you going to get your participants
    1. Much harder than expected
  5. Matching funds
    1. Not required
    2. You can still include it—consider the use of volunteer time for matching funds
  6. Staffing
    1. Who will do what and do they have the credentials to do it, degrees
    2. Credentials include their experience with the populations served
    3. Organizational chart
  7. Time line
    1. You will need to explain what you will be doing in what period of time
    2. Secret is figuring out how to do this using as little space as possible
  8. Submitting grant
    1. Finish grant on time
    2. Follow the directions regarding clamping, margins, etc.
  9. Write the summary last
    1. Summary should elicit a lot of forethought and attention to ensure it grabs, and more importantly, maintains the reviewer's attention.
  10. Separate your proposal from other grant applicants by highlighting any portions which could be considered distinct and innovative.
  11. Everyone depends on your success
    1. Do the work whether you get the grant or not
    2. If you do get the grant, future funding for all of us depends on the quality of your work




Improving and Enhancing Fatherhood and Marriage/Relationship Education programs.


During the past nine years, the Department of Health and Human Services, Administration of Children and Families (ACF) supported Healthy Marriage/Relationship and Fatherhood grants to agencies and organizations.  These grants were designed to help participants build and sustain healthy relationships and marriages, and to strengthen positive father-child interaction. ACF funded 55 organizations across the United States to provide Responsible Fatherhood activities. Grantees were called upon to help fathers: 1. Improve their relationship with their spouses, significant others, and/or the mothers of their children, 2. Become better parents, 3. Contribute to the financial well-being of their children by providing job training. Additionally, ACF funded 60 organizations across the country to provide comprehensive healthy relationship and marriage education services, as well as job and career advancement activities to promote economic stability and overall improvement of family well-being.

This funding was inspired by research statistics regarding the poor outcomes for children raised in single parent families and the poverty level of single parents.  Research demonstrated over and over again that children do better when raised by two stable functioning parents.  Children perform better in school, have better physical and mental health, in adolescence delay becoming sexually active, and are more likely to rise out of poverty.  Children, whose parents marry and stay married, have lower rates of substance abuse and lower risks of committing crimes, thus, avoiding becoming involved in the Juvenile Justice System.


Sadly, today, nearly one-third of American children are born outside of marriage.  Moreover, over one-half of these children will spend all or part of their childhoods in never-formed or broken families.  In 2014, 44% of children in the U.S. were born to unmarried mothers.  Within the same period, 72% of African American mothers were unmarried to the father of their child.  By age five, 50% of these children remained in contact with their fathers. 


In response to these statistics, the Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage/Relationship Grants were created.  These grants were first implemented in 2004.  Like all new programs, it has taken several years for organizations to determine effective educational curricula to be used with the specific populations.  In addition, recruitment of participants, the hiring and training of an educational staff, identifying strategic locations for the trainings, and how to build wide community support needed time for planning and thoughtful consideration. Though the mission was clear to most grantee organizations, they encountered these time-consuming challenges as they moved forward in the implementation phase of the project. This resulted in initial poor outcomes for many organizations.  However, with lessons learned these same organizations learned what was needed to succeed and rapidly moved forward.


It appears that the curriculum for these programs needs to be improved.   Most of the curricula in Relationship Education and Fatherhood programs are ten to twenty years old. In Relationship/Marriage Education programs the emphasis has been on social skills development:  couple’s communication skills and conflict management, problem solving skills. The original idea of this effort is inspired.  Some people do improve their relationships through relationship skills development.  However, others require additional skills of personal self-management. 


Recent studies in neuroscience, toxic stress, and relationship theory offer valuable guidance as a methodology to improve the programs effectiveness. More information is now available regarding the formation of stable functioning relationships, as well as ideas regarding breaking the intergenerational cycle of abuse.


The Administration of Children and Families is currently providing webinars on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE’s) and toxic stress.  Now, programs addressing these vital issues of relationship stability and functionality must be developed. We now know that children of trauma and adversity undergo specific neurological changes in brain development. The adverse experience is literally built in the child’s neuronal structure.  These children experience social, emotional and cognitive impairments that last into adulthood. In a brief summary of the effects on the brain, trauma increases the size and activity in the amygdala, the flight-fight center of the brain, and decreases the activity in the cerebral cortex, the thinking decision making part of the brain. When the flight-fight centers of the brain are stimulated, survival becomes the issue rather than learning the necessary skills to become an effective member of society. For children and adults, these are coping strategies are designed for survival. In the long run, they lead to adoption of health risk behaviors: drug and alcohol abuse, smoking, over eating, gambling, promiscuity, etc. Eventually, these behaviors result in disease, disability, and social problems and finally an early death.  All of this is at a tremendous cost to tax payers and our society.


How prevalent are Adverse Childhood Experiences?  In a San Diego Kaiser study with 17,000 patients they found that almost two-thirds of participants reported at least one    ACE incident, and more than one in five reported three or more ACE’s. (Felitti, 1989)The study further found that 1 in 6 men experienced trauma, 1 in 5 Americans sexually molested, 1 in 4 beaten by a parent, 1 in 3 couples engages in physical violence. 25% of children grow up with alcoholic relatives. 1 in 8 witnessed their mother being beaten or hit. 50% of Head Start children enter the program with 3 ACE’s.  We predict that a majority of participants in our Responsible Fatherhood and Marriage/Relationship programs experience 5 or more ACE’s.  These experiences change how our participants interact with their partner, children and employer.  They also change how they perceive the world and what they believe about themselves.  Ultimately, trauma changes belief of personal invulnerability, perception the world is meaningful and comprehensible, and ability to perceive ourselves in a positive light.


Future programs must address the influence of adverse childhood experiences on adult coupling and parenting as part of Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage/Relationship grants.


During this same time period, couples and family systems theory have undergone changes.  For example, couples therapy has been the least effective of all therapies and had one of the highest levels of relapse. (Gottman, 1990) The current curricula are based on the very same theories that were used for couple’s therapy. Our families need more than communication skills. The most effective of these new theories recognize the effects of early childhood trauma and problems with attachment.  They take into account how early experiences affect current relationships and their children.  Some of the leaders in the field whose work incorporates these new theories include: Dan Siegal, Sue Johnson, Stan Tatkin, John and Julie Gottman, Harville Hendrix, Helen Hunt-Hendrix, Ellen Bader, Peter Pearson.  


Research indicates that we are following the correct path in creating healthy families to break the problems of intergenerational trauma. In a British study, it was found that safe, stable, nurturing relationships break the intergenerational cycle of abuse. In this study, parents who broke the cycle of violence experienced open communication and trust with their partner to break the cycle of violence. (Conger, et.al. 2013; Thornberry, 2013)  Other studies find that parents who have a coherent understanding of the narrative of their past are more likely to parent differently than their parent. In breaking the cycle of violence, the need for this work is particularly evident with the children with parents in prison. Boys whose father is in prison are our most at risk youth.  Those men in prison need to have an understanding of their own trauma and how to avoid passing these problems to the next generation.  To reach this level of success our curricula need to include trauma informed care with the inclusion of skills to overcome adverse childhood experiences.


We are suggesting that the Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Marriage/Relationship programs address these problems of toxic stress and Adverse Childhood Experiences.  We recommend altering these programs to include trauma informed care and/or trauma healing activities.  Successful programs include training all staff and participants to: 1. Acknowledge the high prevalence of trauma 2. Understand the effect of trauma on the brain, especially early childhood trauma. 3. Recognize signs and symptoms of trauma in staff, clients, and others 4. Recognize and utilize the many paths for healing with trauma informed, evidenced based and emerging best practices. 5. Organizations must fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, practices and settings. 6. Recognize individual differences and that no one method works with all people. We can make these changes today, because there are now many evidence based practices available that do not require a licensed therapist to teach participants to heal from their past traumatic experiences.


In order to create the change necessary to build stable, functioning families we need to grow our participants’ brains.  The good news is that research indicates that brains can grow by learning to reduce the reactivity of the amygdala and to increase the use of the cerebral cortex.   As our participants come to understand themselves they will have greater compassion for themselves and others.  They will be less reactive and more thoughtful and capable of planning. In a meta-analysis of 54 trauma studies, they found specific interventions which matched the symptoms persons who had experienced trauma we shown to be effective.  These interventions included emotion regulation strategies, narration of trauma memory, cognitive restructuring, anxiety and stress management, and interpersonal skills. Meditation and mindfulness interventions were frequently identified as an effective approach for emotional, attentional, and behavioral (e.g., aggression) disturbances. These methods increase cognitive functioning and reduce reactivity and anxiety.


Another focal point of Responsible Fatherhood and Marriage/Relationship grants was improving employment. By attending to the problems stemming from Adverse Childhood Experiences can improve employability.  People who experienced multiple traumas may experience high anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder or disassociate.  All of these behaviors are problematic in obtaining and sustaining employment. People with large number of Adverse Childhood Experiences have difficulty with time management, emotional control, organization and planning.  They lack confidence in their abilities. When anxiety levels are high, learning, being interviewed for a job and attending school becomes exceptionally difficult.  Adding a trauma focused component to Responsible Fatherhood, Healthy Marriage/Relationship activities would assisting in the formation of the basic abilities that people need to go to school, learn new job and retain their employment paving their way to improved employment possibilities.


Therefore we propose that:

  • We address the toxic stress levels in our participants in the Fatherhood, Marriage/Relationship grants.
  • We develop a panel comprised of experts in the marriage/relationship and fatherhood grantee programs, toxic stress and trauma, and couples and family systems theory to create a list of possible additions and interventions to current curricula.
  • Require all staff to have a minimal level of training in trauma informed care.
  • Allow people to repeat a class who are having problem with relapse.
  • Play care workers receive training in trauma informed care and given training in specific methods to deal with children with intense emotions.
  • Require programs to be at least 20 hours long and have no more than 30 people in a class with a ratio of 1 staff to 12 participant ratio to insure the depth of the work.

By Carolyn Rich Curtis, Ph.D.,


Fwd: [New Post] The 5 Empathy Fails in Marriage (And How to Avoid Them)

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Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2015 at 6:03 AM
Subject: [New Post] The 5 Empathy Fails in Marriage (And How to Avoid Them)
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The 5 Empathy Fails in Marriage (And How to Avoid Them)

By Dr. Kelly Flanagan on Apr 01, 2015 03:00 am

Empathy is the foundation of any authentic connection. It’s the bedrock of togetherness, the fuel of compassion, and the mortar of grace. We must hone our ability to feel it and to give it. But empathy can be elusive, for at least five reasons…


Photo Credit: erix! via Compfight cc

Dusk is closing in when I arrive home from work and walk in the back door.

Some nights, all is well when I get home—my wife is happy and the kids are smiling. But some nights, my wife is tired and worn thin after a long day at work and the onslaught of demands for food and attention. Some nights, my oldest son is anxious and fretting about homework and standardized testing. Some nights, my younger son is distraught about the inevitable injustices of a middle child. Some nights, my daughter will settle for nothing less than a Daddy mirror—a father who will show his interest by reflecting all her energy and joy.

Some nights, everyone wants a little empathy and, some nights, I don’t want to give it.

Some nights, I get home, and I want someone to notice how tired I am, to soothe my anxiety, to correct the injustices done to me, and to mirror me. I could embrace my fatigue, fear, anger, and neediness as common emotional ground and I could reach out and connect in the midst of that shared experience.  But, some nights, I don’t.

Because even for psychologists, empathizing with the people we love is hard to do. And it’s particularly hard to empathize with the person we’ve promised to love for better or worse, for at least five reasons:

  1. I don’t want to go first. In any relationship, both members need empathy. But at any given moment, empathy is unidirectional—it can only flow in one direction at a time. Which means someone has to go first. Someone has to be willing to meet the needs of the other, before their own needs are met.
  2. I don’t agree with you. Empathy requires us to place ourselves in another person’s shoes, to allow our hearts to beat to the rhythm of theirs. We often fundamentally disagree with their perspective, and so we are tempted to debate them intellectually, rather than join them emotionally.
  3. What if I get it wrong? When we try to place ourselves squarely inside of someone else’s emotional landscape, it can be a little scary. It’s unfamiliar territory. They are inviting us in, but what if we get it all wrong? Empathy can be terrifying if we have any perfectionism within us.
  4. I don’t want to feel that. On the other hand, you might know exactly what your partner is feeling. It may bring up thoughts and feelings in you that you would prefer to avoid. If we don’t want to feel our own sadness, we won’t want to feel sadness on behalf of the person we love.
  5. It’s not my job to fix you. We confuse empathy with “fixing.” We think we have to do something to take the emotion away, and we don’t want to be put on that hot-seat. Or some of us will have the opposite reaction: I’m going to fix you. But this undermines our ability to provide empathy, as well. Because empathy is not fixing. Empathy is joining.

If we want to give empathy in our relationships, we will have to sacrifice some values we hold dear:

We will have to be willing to lose, because it will feel like losing. Our partner’s needs are being met before our own, and our ego doesn’t like that. Yet, when our egos lose, our hearts win.

We will have to put aside all of our intellectual debates. Empathy is not a matter of deciding who is right and wrong. It is simply a matter of finding an emotional common ground.

We have to be willing to get it wrong, because we will get it wrong. Empathy is messy. There are no three-easy-steps to accurately understanding the person we love. We have to be okay when our partner tells us we’re not getting it. And then we have to try again.

We need to embrace our discomfort, because empathy will take us into some uncomfortable place within ourselves. If we are unwilling to go there, we may need to stop talking to our spouse and start talking to a therapist of our own.

And we have to quit trying to fix things. There will be a time for that later. For now, empathy is about connecting within an experience, not making the experience go away.

I wish I could tell you I always find my way to empathy with my family, but I can’t. Some nights I do and some nights I don’t. And you won’t always find your way to empathy, either. But that’s okay. That’s not the point. The point is that we begin to try.

Because empathy isn’t just for therapists, it’s for all of us.

You can leave a comment by clicking here.

*This post is adapted from an archived post.


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