Coffin Corner

It’s a powerful word that means more than just avoiding the act of being unfaithful. It’s all about where your heart and mind are and whether they are FOR your marriage or against it.

When we get married, hardly any of us consider that one day we might not actually feel the same head-over-heels way we did on our wedding day. At that moment, it’s hard to imagine anything but butterflies and rose petals. But as I mentioned yesterday, elation can quickly become frustration and how you deal with that is totally up to you.

You can choose to be faithful to your spouse, your vows and your commitment to the marriage or you can allow a seed of bitterness, resentment or unfaithfulness to be planted in the foundation of your relationship. Ask anyone who’s been party to an affair {whether physical or emotional} and inevitably they will admit it started out with something small—a little flirtation here, a minor sense of dissatisfaction there, a day-dream about Mr. or Miss so-and-so-at-work or the thought that the grass must be greener elsewhere.

Some will say, “Those are harmless thoughts/actions.” Or “I’m not hurting anyone.” But those are lies. Faithfulness is a choice you make every day. On the good days, it’s easy. But it’s those bad days where the decision really counts—whether it’s in the face of temptation, hurt feelings, anger, dissatisfaction or laziness.

How would you answer these questions?

• Would you ever ride in a car or have a meal alone with someone of the opposite sex? Why or why not?
• Do you have any secrets from your spouse?
• Are there any conversations you’ve had that you’d be embarrassed or anxious about if you knew your spouse had been listening?
• Do you have an emotional connection with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse?

What about these?

• Do you talk about your spouse with the utmost respect, especially when he or she is not present?
• Do your actions communicate faithfulness towards your spouse and your marriage?
• Is your marriage a top priority in your life?
• If a neutral party examined how you spend your time, money and thoughts would your faithfulness to your spouse be obvious to them?
• How do you handle disappointment in your spouse/marriage?

If you were looking for something a little less weighty, check out my previous posts from the AtoZ Challenge: Always, Beloved, Conflict, Date Night and Elation. Or come back tomorrow to see what I write for the letter G!

Photo credit: © Liaurinko – Fotolia.com

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Post tags: AtoZ Challenge, Faithfulness, Love, Marriage, Respect, Trust

It’s the first day of the A-to-Z April Challenge. Today’s post is brought to you by the letter “A” – and the topic: Top Ten things to Always practice in your marriage:

1. Kiss goodnight. Pucker up and plant a wet one. Don’t let anything stand in the way of this daily expression of love before you move into slumber land.
2. Be honest about your failures. No one is perfect. In fact, we all mess up A LOT. When you make a mistake or misstep, confess the truth and ask forgiveness. Then, be willing to forgive when you feel hurt.
3. Put your spouse above any other human. Your marriage comes first—before your kids, parents, siblings, work, girlfriends or poker buddies. Pay attention to how you treat your spouse compared to others. If something is out of whack, refer back to #2.
4. Treat him with respect. One of his greatest needs is to be respected by you. Examine your thoughts. Are they respectful? If not, those feelings will come out and bite him {and you} in the backside. Don’t speak poorly of him to anyone. It WILL affect your marriage. And not in a good way.
5. Treat her with love. It’s one of her greatest needs—to feel and be aware of your love for her. Tell her, but most of all show her that you love her. This is different for every woman, so if you’re not sure what this means, ask her how you can do a better job of communicating your love.
6. Reserve a little one-on-one time every day. Even if it’s just 5-10 minutes, take time to connect. Right before you go to bed, after you wake up, during dinner or after little ones go to bed. Just do it!
7. Seek to learn something about your spouse. It may begin to feel like you know each other inside and out, but we are always growing. Make the effort to be a student of your spouse.
8. Give the benefit of the doubt. He or she did not wake up this morning with the intention to hurt you. Assume the best whenever possible, even when you feel hurt.
9. Pursue deeper intimacy. Be emotionally and physically vulnerable with each other. Share your hurts and fears. Express your desires. Tell each other your dreams. Make every effort to draw closer to each other, especially in difficult times.
10. Express your appreciation. Live with a heart of gratitude for every little blessing and then TELL your spouse what you appreciate about him or her.

Is there anything else you would add to this list? 

© Editor for Live Simply Love, 2012. | Permalink | No comment | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: AtoZ Challenge, Love, Marriage, Respect, Trust