Candidates for Friday Five

1. Top 10 key facts on marriage 



OR






2. Family Life Education Month



OR

NCFR research and policy briefs







3. 

The Four Keys to a Meaningful Life


 Jill Suttie






​4. ​
Marriage could improve heart attack survival, research shows



OR


How Can Being Married Help You Win Against Cancer?



OR

Marital History and Survival After Stroke

Matthew E. Dupre, Renato D. Lopes





5. Research and Evaluation in 2016

Naomi Goldstein, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Planning, Research, and Evaluation








6. The importance of teaching kids empathy

Erica Van Buren




7

. Do Married Couples Pay More Taxes?

 Maurie Backman 







by 






9. Aggression in Twentysomethings’ Cohabiting, Dating, and Marriage Relationships

Scott M. Stanley & Galena K. Rhoades






10. 'Friday Night Lights' stars had one rule for the Taylors' marriage: No cheating

Ree Hines




Thanks Alysse




Fwd: It's not too late.


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Tue, Jan 31, 2017 at 12:46 PM
Subject: It's not too late.
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


NMW header
It's not too late!  Simple things you can do this week
Hi there!  We are ONE week away from National Marriage Week USA-Feb. 7 to 14th.   It's not too late to do one or two simple things to support marriages!
  1. You can ask your pastor to share some thoughts on marriage from the pulpit on SUNDAY, Feb. 12th!
  2. You can ask a local radio station to play one of our PSAs. Click here  for suggested text or actual recording.
  3. You can ask your Mayor or Governor to issue a Proclamation about the value of marriage next week. Samples here.
  4. You can use Feb. 7 to 14 as a time to form a committee to bring a marriage class later to your church, home group, or community center.
  5. You can put our newspaper ad (scroll to bottom) in your local Penny Saver!
It's not too late! National Marriage Week--Feb. 7 to 14--is used to share the message about the benefits of marriage for health, financial stability, happiness, and the best environment for raising children. 

Course/curriculum ideas, fact sheets about the decline of marriage, event kit, press release, and promotional materials are all available at www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
 
Check out what is happening in your state on our NATIONAL CALENDAR ....and POST FOR FREE any marriage event all year long!


Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to keep up with helpful tips and marriage articles.

Thanks for joining this growing campaign to strengthen marriage!

Sheila Weber, executive director
Heather Grizzle, campaign manager



National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.

Like us on Facebook   Follow us on Twitter
National Marriage Week USA, 115 E 62nd Street, New York, NY 10065
Sent by sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Fwd: Special Conference Workshops on Relationship Enhancement and Filial Methods



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Fri, Jan 27, 2017 at 8:01 PM
Subject: Special Conference Workshops on Relationship Enhancement and Filial Methods
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 

Special Workshops on

Relationship Enhancement®

and Filial Methods

 
 

 

 

The 2017 Relationship Enhancement®

and Filial Therapy Conference

 
 


 

March 31 - April 1, 2017 in Bethesda, MD

 
 

 

 

Sponsored by

National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE)

 

CE Workshops

For the 2017 Relationship Enhancement® and Filial Therapy Conference, NIRE and AFREM are co-sponsoring two workshops on Friday March 31 and two workshops on Saturday April 1.

Friday will include two RE Therapy related workshops: "Using the Relationship Enhancement model to mediate conflicts between traditional gender roles and contemporary societal values of equality in heterosexual, same-sex, immigrant, and intercultural relationships" and "A Salad of Integrity: Resolving Ethical Questions When Working from an Educational Model in a Medical Model Profession."

Saturday will include two play related workshops: "Filial Therapy in Non-group Settings: Navigating the Unique Challenges" and "When Change is Slow: Addressing Parent Concerns
During the Child-Centered Play/Filial Therapy Process."

Each workshop qualifies for 3 CE credits.

 

Organized Friday Night Dutch Treat Dinner

This year’s traditional “Dutch Treat” dinner will be held on Friday night March 31. This well attended event always proves to be a fun time to connect and relax with friends and colleagues around the dinner table. Please join us if you can! Details below. And please RSVP so we can properly plan with the restaurant.

 

Registration

Registration information may be found below.

AFREM Special Workshops Registration Form

 

 

Friday Workshops

 
Using the Relationship Enhancement model to mediate conflicts between traditional gender roles and contemporary societal values of equality in heterosexual, same-sex, immigrant, and intercultural relationships

 

Presenter: Goli Bellinger, M.S.W., LICSW, LCSW-C

Friday, March 31, 9:00 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. 3 CE credits

We value equality in this nation, and for our world. This value underpins the Relationship Enhancement (RE) model which includes mutual understanding and respect.  Yet when couples share a household, the contemporary emphasis on the value of equality may lead to conflicts in the relationship, whether conscious or subconscious. This workshop will focus on complex ways the concepts of traditional gender roles and modern gender values lead to discourse in couples. Ideas of gender equality will be explored and contrasted with traditional values of the equitable division of labor. Case studies will illustrate various ways conflicts arise across diverse populations and sexual identity, as uncovered by deepening dialogue and empathy through the structured RE dialogue process. Finally, this session will present how to guide conflict management and problem solving by combining the values of equality and equity to help couples balance household and family responsibilities.  

Learning Objectives: Participants completing this workshop will be able to:  

1.    Identify cultural theories of the values of equality and equity. 
2.    Differentiate individual needs from cultural expectations and perceptions within various  couple populations, including immigrant, intercultural, and same-sex couples.
3.    Utilize deepening dialogues to reach the core concerns and unique needs of each individual, regardless of expectations driven by gender roles or societal values.
4.    Guide and help couples discover and identify what works best for their life and goals. 

Goli Amin Bellinger, M.S.W., is a couples therapist in Washington DC. Together with Mary Ortwein, she created the program Relationship Enhancement® for Refugees and Immigrants at the U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants. She also consults on mental health and family trauma with immigrant and asylum-seeking populations, including as adjunct faculty at University of Maryland School of School Work.

 

A Salad of Integrity: Resolving Ethical Questions When Working from an Educational Model in a Medical Model Profession

Presenter: Mary Ortwein, M.S., LMFT

Friday, March 31, 2:00 – 5:15 p.m. 3 CE Credits

When Bernard Guerney wrote Psychotherapeutic Agents: New Roles for Nonprofessionals, Teachers, and Parents in 1969, he became a leader that moved psychology away from the Medical Model of Sigmund Freud toward the Educational Model anticipated by the work of Carl Rogers and the behaviorists. While elements of the Educational Model have remained strong in mental health, the acceptance of medical insurance billing by clinicians, beginning in the 1980s, now makes the assignment of a Medical Model DSM diagnosis the initial standard operating procedure for mental health treatment.
What issues does this raise for those who work from an Educational Model—or who integrate elements of the Educational Model with elements of the Medical Model, or even a Spiritual Model? How can these issues be resolved in ways that preserve both ethical and theoretical integrity? This workshop will explore these questions.
After an initial review of Bernard Guerney’s Educational Model, the model will be examined in light of contemporary clinical practice. Four potential slippery slopes for ethical or theoretical compromise will be examined: the presence of severe mental health symptoms when using the RE model with couples; medical insurance billing; best practices which include doing Educational Model interventions from a Medical Model theory; and working as part of collaborative medical model treatment teams. Criteria for maintaining ethical practice and theoretical integrity will be proposed, discussed, and applied for each of these situations as part of the workshop. The workshop will include both lecture and participant discussion.

Learning Objectives: Participants completing this workshop will be able to:

1.    Identify client situations where ethical guidelines or the Educational Model may be compromised in contemporary mental health practice
2.    Identify criteria for evaluating situations that might lead to ethical or theoretical compromises
3.    Apply the criteria to specific scenarios to preserve both ethical and theoretical integrity

Mary Ortwein, M.S., LMFT, has provided Educational Model therapy and supervision for more than 25 years in a variety of settings, including training and supervision of more than 60 beginning therapists. Mary currently is director of IDEALS for Families and Communities in Frankfort, Kentucky. Co-author with Bernard Guerney of numerous Relationship Enhancement® materials, she is also author of Mastering the Magic of Play: A Handbook for Parents, which was first developed from her work teaching Filial Therapy to parents who often had multiple mental health diagnoses.


Dinner, Friday Night,

​March 31​
, 6:30 p.m. Dutch Treat.

Following the Friday afternoon workshop, those who are interested will go out together as a group for dinner for fun, relaxation and an opportunity to connect with friends and colleagues. If you are interested in joining the group for dinner: Please be certain to sign up on the Registration Form. Advance payment is not necessary, but we do need to be able to give an accurate count to the restaurant.
 

Filial Play Therapy in Non-group Settings: Navigating the Unique Challenges

Presenter: Sharon Bryant, LMFT, RPT

Discussants: Louise Guerney, Ph.D., Julie Dodson, M.A., Nicole Bryan, M.S.

Saturday, April 1, 9:00 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. 3 CE credits

Filial Play Therapy is a tried and true model for creating systematic change for the entire family. Research has shown that Filial Therapy not only provides children with a variety of therapeutic benefits, but it also strengthens the parent-child bond and attachment. Traditionally, Filial Therapy has been promoted for group settings, but it can also be effective on an individual basis. However, the use of Filial Therapy with individual clients can pose unique challenges. Clinicians are often faced with many methodological decisions: Do I start this family with Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) or with Filial Therapy. How will I know when to transition from CCPT to Filial Therapy? Do I involve the whole family or just one parent and child dyad? Do I have them start sessions in the office or begin with videotaped sessions at home? Although there are no black and white answers to these questions, we will talk about some factors that can help one make these decisions. Once clinicians determine the best methodology, another unique challenge arises: the need to compensate for the lack of group support. We’ll talk about various, creative techniques that can help clinicians navigate this challenge and foster a learning process. With the use of real cases, participants will have the opportunity to practice making decisions and providing encouragement to parents learning Filial Therapy.   

Participants completing this workshop will be able to:

1. Address the unique challenges involved when using Filial Play Therapy with individuals
2. Identify factors pertinent to methodological decisions regarding use of Filial Play Therapy with individual families
3. Gain fresh ideas for how to compensate for lack of group support

Sharon Bryant, LMFT, RPT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and received her masters in Marriage and Family Counseling from Asbury Theological Seminary. She is certified in Child-Centered Play Therapy and Filial Therapy and also is a Registered Play Therapist.  She enjoys providing services to children, adolescents, families, individuals, and couples and currently works in a group private practice called Spring Tree Counseling in the Chicago area.

Louise Guerney, Ph.D., is co-creator with Bernard Guerney, Ph.D. of Filial Family Therapy. She also is author of Parenting: A Skills Training Manual (published by IDEALS/NIRE), a nationally recognized and widely used parenting program and, together with Virginia Ryan, of Group Filial Therapy (Jessica Kingsley, 2013).

Julie Dodson, M.A., LMFT, is a counselor at Avenues for Women, where she serves women and couples, providing counseling for pregnancy options, relationships, resiliency, and trauma resolution. Julie is certified in both Child-Centered Play Therapy and Filial Therapy. She earned a Masters in Mental Health Counseling from Asbury Theological Seminary in 2012.

Nicole Bryan, M.S., is a licensed clinical professional counselor.  She is in private practice in Chevy Chase, MD and a part of Weaver and Associates in McLean, VA. She specializes in treating children, adolescents and families, and has been trained in CCPT and Filial Therapy.

 

When Change is Slow: Addressing Parent Concerns During the Child-Centered Play/Filial Therapy Process

Presenter: Ian Masson, M.S.

Saturday, April 1, 2:00 – 5:15 p.m. 3 CE Credits

The process of therapy can be complex, involved, and sometimes longer than anticipated. When this occurs during play or filial therapies it can lead to frustration or anxiety on the part of the parent. The ability of the counselor to maintain the therapeutic relationship with the parent(s) and address their concerns becomes critical during these times. Therapists must be able to respond  in a non-defensive manner with empathy and at the same time clearly explain the play therapy process. Furthermore, the ability of the therapist to identify needs of the family or parent(s) and make appropriate recommendations becomes critical in order to address the parents’ concern regarding perceived “lack of progress” with the process. A therapist can further continued progress by making additional recommendations such as parenting skills training or transitioning from Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) to Filial Therapy. The ability to respond empathically while also providing a sense of hope for the future based on relevant explanations and/or recommendations becomes essential. 

Participants completing this workshop will be able to:   

1. Identify common concerns of parents at various phases during the CCPT or Filial play process
2. Apply the skill of empathic responding to ensure continued development of the therapeutic alliance
3. Provide explanations of the rationale and procedures of CCPT or Filial Therapy in response to parent concerns
4. Make appropriate recommendations based on concerns parents share during the process

Ian Masson, M.S., is a resident in counseling at Chrysalis Counseling Centers in Culpeper, VA. Ian received his certification in Child-Centered Play Therapy through NIRE and primarily works with children. Ian also oversees the Intensive Therapeutic Parenting Program at Chrysalis, a service that seeks to develop child-centered parenting skills through use of Dr. Louise Guerney's Parenting: A Skills Training Manual.
 

Registration Information

Location: The RE and Filial Therapy Conference  annual meeting and workshops will be held at the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE) conference suite on the Roof level of the Topaz House at 4400 East-West Highway, Bethesda, MD. The Topaz House is located six miles from the White House and Georgetown. NIRE is less than three blocks from the Bethesda metro stop.

Parking: Parking on Friday may be available at the Topaz House’s underground garage on a first come first served basis. There is a public parking lot at East-West Highway and Waverly Street, a block and a half from the Topaz House. Be certain to bring plenty of quarters for the public parking lot. The cost is $.75 per hour in long term parking; plan on 9 hours, i.e., $6.75[To be safe, bring a roll of quarters, as parking rates may have gone up.] Parking is free on Saturday. On Saturday parking should be easier at Topaz House, and is free at the public parking lot.

Schedule: Each workshop will be 3 hours long. There will be one 15 minute break during each workshop.  

Refreshments: Starting at 8:40 a.m., and available all day, each day, there will be a sidebar with fruit, coffee and tea, soda, and snacks.

CE Credits: IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for each program and its content. NIRE has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 5560. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. NIRE is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs. IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the Maryland State Board of Social Workers to offer Category 1 continuing education programs for social workers. NIRE also is approved by the Association for Play Therapy to offer continuing education specific to play therapy. APT Approved Provider 95-009. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for the program. 

Each workshop will earn attendees 3 CE credits. 

A Certificate will be issued to you attesting to your completion of each workshop attended and documenting the CE credits you have earned.

Cost: The fee for each 3-hour workshop is $60. The fee for currently enrolled, full-time graduate students is $10.00 for each workshop, or $30 for all four workshops.

Lunch: Lunch each day is the responsibility of each participant, though arrangements will be made to provide lunch on Saturday for those who wish. The cost will be $10.00 per person. Please see the registration form below for details.

Optional Friday Night Dinner (Dutch Treat): Many participants at past RE and Filial Therapy Conference annual meeting workshops have enjoyed each others company over dinner at a restaurant in Bethesda. We will do the same this year, on Friday,

​March 31​
 at 6:30 p.m. While prepayment is not necessary, it is necessary for planning purposes to know who plans to attend, so please indicate on the registration form that you would like to attend the dinner so that we can make appropriate arrangements and reserve table space for our group. Some participants may also choose to go out to dinner on Saturday evening, but that will not be a formally organized event.

Travel: For those coming by air: NIRE is 15 miles from Washington National, 22 miles from Baltimore-Washington, and 18 miles from Dulles Airports. For those coming by car: NIRE is two miles south of the Connecticut Avenue exit or the Wisconsin Avenue exit of the Beltway (I-495).

Municipal parking is very close and is free on Saturday (at Waverly and East-West Highway). Be certain to bring plenty of quarters to feed the meter for parking on Friday. The cost is $.75 per hour in long term parking; plan on 9 hours, i.e., $6.75. (To be safe, bring a roll of quarters!) Parking is free on Saturday. All registrants will be sent a map detailing how to reach NIRE.

Accommodations: Discounted hotel rooms are available at the Bethesda Court Hotel. To secure the discounted rate, please call 1-800-874-0050 and ask for the “NIRE” rate, which for 2016 is $129 per night Thursday through Sunday, plus a $15.00 per night fee for parking. This discounted rate is available until the hotel reaches a certain point of capacity for the respective dates, so you are advised to make reservations as early as possible. Information about alternative accommodations can be provided when you register.

For Further Information about arrangements, call the NIRE Administrative Office at 301-680-8977.

 

RegistrationTo register, please

(1) call NIRE at 301-680-8977 

(2) send your Registration Form by fax to 1-502-226-7088

or (3) mail your Registration Form and check to: NIRE, 4400 East-West Highway #24, Bethesda, MD 20814-4501.

Caution: Do not send credit card information via email.

Registration Form

AFREM Special Workshops Registration Form

 

 

We look forward to seeing you there!

Rob Scuka, Ph.D.
Executive Director
National Institute of Relationship Enhancement®



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Fwd: PAF grant announcement to move your work forward!



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dixie Zittlow <dixie@dibbleinstitute.org>
Date: Fri, Jan 27, 2017 at 2:27 PM
Subject: PAF grant announcement to move your work forward!
To: Friend <billcoffin68@gmail.com>




Exciting news to start out 2017!

The Office of Adolescent Health (OAH) has announced Support for Expectant and Parenting Teens, Women, Fathers, and Their Families, a new round of Pregnancy Assistance Fund (PAF) grants for states and tribal governments.

According to OAH, Love Notes is one of only six programs approved as an evidence-based program for the sexuality education portion of this grant.

Plus, Love Notes meets several grant requirements in just one program. (See chart below)

You may find this a perfect opportunity to connect with your State or Tribal agency that manages programs for pregnant and parenting teens to encourage them to apply for this grant and include you as a partner.

OAH expects applicants to provide a continuum of quality, supportive services, adopting a holistic and integrated approach with a special focus on marginalized sub-populations through five core services domains:

1. Personal Health (including sexuality education)
2. Child Health
3. Self Sufficiency, Education and Employment
4. Concrete Supports
5. Parenting Support

Feel free to forward our PAF grant toolkit because it will make writing the application much easier.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can be of assistance.

Kind regards,

Dixie

P.S. You may already be working in some of these domains and want to further your work with another population or in another venue. Sharing this information with your State or Tribal office can move both of your goals forward.


Dixie Zittlow | Director of Outreach
The Dibble Institute | A mission-driven nonprofit
PO Box 7881 | Berkeley, CA 94707-0881
Phone: 800-695-7975 | Direct: 920-664-6066
www.DibbleInstitute.org | Dixie@DibbleInstitute.org
Keep in touch with The Dibble Institute through our new Facebook page.
PO Box 7881, Berkeley, California 94707, United States
You may unsubscribe or change your contact details at any time.

Fwd: How to get media coverage



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Thu, Jan 26, 2017 at 2:59 PM
Subject: How to get media coverage
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


NMW header
You can get media coverage for your marriage work!  Here's how
Hi friends,

You can utilize National Marriage Week USA, from Feb. 7 to 14, to get local press coverage for the work you do to strengthen marriages! It is a great time to get your local newspaper, radio and TV news stations to pay attention!

TIPS:
1)      Click for this fill-in-the blanks press release that you can send to your local radio, TV or newspaper.
2)      Do a google search for how to contact your local newspaper, radio stations, cable or local TV stations.  Pick up the phone and talk to an editor or  find out the best person to be in touch with to cover your marriage event.  Talk it up!  How will your work benefit the community? Follow up with an email of your event flyer, info or press release.
3)      To get more attention, mention that February 7 to 14 is National Marriage Week USA--a positive time to celebrate marriage and help people find more success!
4)      Do it soon! Right now is the perfect time to reach out because the media likes to plan in advance....and February 7 to 14 is just two weeks away!

For encouragement, WATCH this 3-minute TV sampler, that contains a bit of national coverage, but also some local coverage in Richmond, VA so that you can see how your efforts can be highlighted.
 
Click for our ONE PAGE printable fact sheet that can also help you pitch your story.
 
Please let us know about any local coverage you receive!

And, as always, don't forget to put your event information on our online
Yours for strengthening marriage
,

Sheila Weber, Executive Director
Heather Grizzle, Campaign Manager



National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 20 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries.

Like us on Facebook   Follow us on Twitter
National Marriage Week USA, 115 E 62nd Street, New York, NY 10065
Sent by sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org in collaboration with
Constant Contact

Candidates for Friday Five

1. VA Giving Strength to Couples in Crisis

Tom Cramer



or 

Things You Need to Know About Depression


Sex and Military Marriage: It's Complicated

Corie Weathers









2. The Curious Curriculum of the 1950s Red Cross 'Bride Schools'










3. Bill would boost cost of marriage license by $20, fund premarital counseling
















OR

Teaching in the Age of Selfies







5. Relationship Meltdown in Ikea







6. Relationship education helps couples





7. Vulnerability of families with children: experts’ opinions about the future and what families think about it


 Bernhard Riederer, Dimiter Philipov and Bernhard Rengs







8. NEW Podcasts: "Engaging Fathers: Part 1 and 2"
NFCM Image

Fathers and paternal family members play a crucial role in children's growth and development. Child welfare agencies, however, may have difficulty connecting with and engaging noncustodial fathers and paternal family members. There are many local and national fatherhood organizations that can provide services and support to child welfare agencies to improve their ability to successfully engage fathers and paternal family members and support those family members in establishing permanency and safety for their children.

Child Welfare Information Gateway has developed a three-part podcast series on engaging fathers and working with fatherhood organizations. We've recently released Part 1 and Part 2 in the series, which features a conversation with leaders of local fatherhood organizations in which they share their perspectives and insights on the following:

  • Examining fathers' value in the lives of their children
  • Creating a father-friendly child welfare system
  • Locating noncustodial fathers in your community
  • Partnering with fatherhood organizations as a resource to support child welfare practice
  • Sharing the often unheard perspective of fathers

Both podcasts are available to download on the Children's Bureau website. Stay tuned for Part 3 in February 2017.






9. Marriage Week UK







10. “Netflix and Chill?”: Are Friends With Benefits Relationships the New Norm?

James Stein​






11. Americans are having fewer kids. Are housing costs to blame?





Thanks Alysse








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Fwd: [New post] Like it was part of his name



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: SIMCHA FISHER <comment-reply@wordpress.com>
Date: Tue, Jan 24, 2017 at 11:22 AM
Subject: [New post] Like it was part of his name
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


simchajfisher posted: " My husband and I both work at our computers off and on throughout the day, and we email back and forth a lot.  Every once in a while, I get what looks like an empty message from him -- just a series of dots in a box.  This makes me  laugh every time, be"
Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on SIMCHA FISHER

Like it was part of his name

by simchajfisher

naples_-_old_couple_1890s

My husband and I both work at our computers off and on throughout the day, and we email back and forth a lot.  Every once in a while, I get what looks like an empty message from him -- just a series of dots in a box.  This makes me  laugh every time, because I know what happened:  It's just Gmail being too smart for its own good again.  When you end every email the same way, Gmail thinks it's your signature, and thinks it doesn't have to include it in every email, especially if it's a response to a response to a response to a response to a response.  The recipient must know who it's from by now.  So smart, right?

And so, when I get an empty email from my husband, I know it's because he wrote "I love you."  He says it so often, at the end of so many emails, Gmail thinks it's part of his name.  Gmail thinks that's who he is.

I used to be skeptical of people who dashed off a hasty "I love you" all the time.  "Don't forget to pick up some ketchup and laundry detergent!" -- "'Kay, love you!" Way to cheapen the sentiment, I thought to myself.  Why not save it for when you can say it from the bottom of your heart?  That way, you both know it really means something.

I don't know if I've grown softer or what (mentally, I mean.  Physically, there's no question), but I'll tell you what:  I need it now.  I need to hear him tell me he loves me, over and over again, especially when we're talking about ketchup and laundry detergent and dentist appointments and parent-teacher conferences and taxes and who needs more fiber in their diet.  I need the reminder that he knows who I am, even on the days when, according to our accomplishments, we could easily be replaced by some unskilled laborers and an adding machine.

And I need to hear it when I know he's mad at me.  He writes it then, too.  He always writes it, and he always means it, because that's who he is.  It's almost like it's part of his name.

Husbands and wives, do this for each other.  Say "I love you."  You don't have to do it all the time, but do it!  Don't let it go unsaid.  We all need to say it, we all need to hear it.  And, if we want to stay married, we have to act like we mean it.

***

[This post originally ran at the National Catholic Register in 2013.]

Image: Anonymous (Old postcard) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

simchajfisher | January 24, 2017 at 4:22 pm | Tags: love, marriage, my husband | Categories: Uncategorized | URL: http://wp.me/p7UCly-xPn
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Candidates for Friday Five

1. ‘I Wasn’t There To Help’: Dad With Newborn Struggles With Lack Of Leave






2. An Evidence-Based Strategy for Bringing Everyone Together







3. 4 Proven Strategies for Teaching Empathy


















5. Upcoming CREDO Events






6. Remarriage ratio hits record high in 2015 / Late marriage seen behind chronically low birthrate







7. Differences that once were appealing may lead to problems in a marriage

Danielle BraffChicago Tribune






8. Millennials ditching marriage and church?













10. More than half of parents who split now unmarried






Thanks Alysse










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Fwd: Hurry, LAST weekend for Buy 1, Get 1 FREE!



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: FamilyLife <email@email.familylife.com>
Date: Thu, Jan 19, 2017 at 2:07 PM
Subject: Hurry, LAST weekend for Buy 1, Get 1 FREE!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 
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Adrift in Marriage

We wanted to stay married but didn't know how.

When Jerry and Olivia Dugan got married, they pledged lifelong commitment to one another. After all, they each knew firsthand how divorce rips families apart. They had individually vowed, "I will never do that to my children." ... read their story.
 
 
 

I Wanted Him to Die

We gave Weekend to Remember a chance.

Brad and Cindy had been married for less than three years, but something was very wrong with their relationship. Brad had not been himself and Cindy suspected that he was involved with another woman... read their story.
 

 

 

Great Marriages Don't Just Happen...

 
Great Marriages Don't Just Happen...
 

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Fwd: The ONE word that changes everything for your marriage

Great book!



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---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Marriage & Family Newsletter <newsletter@lists.christianitytoday.com>
Date: Tue, Jan 17, 2017 at 9:00 PM
Subject: The ONE word that changes everything for your marriage
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


ChristianityToday.orgDonate

When it comes to marriage, we talk a lot about love-but what does it mean to cherish? Why do we say it once at the wedding and then rarely even mention it again? These are the questions Gary Thomas answers in Cherish. In it, you'll discover why relationships excel and joy skyrockets when we choose to cherish the person we married. Available wherever books are sold. Video Study available January 24, 2017.

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