Save the Date for MAC 2013

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Date: Mon, Jul 2, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Subject: Save the Date for MAC 2013

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In This Issue
Promote the MAC
Save the Date!
Keynoters on YouTube
MAC Specials!
Quick Links
Registration Information
Hotel Information
Find us on Facebook

Did You Know . . .

That 54% of the people who attending in 2012 were personally invited by someone else?

Who could you invite to the 2013 MAC?

Promote the Mid-Atlantic Congress!
Promote the Mid-Atlantic Congress in the following ways:
  • Put the MAC logo on your website, blog, or Facebook page, and link to 
  • Forward this email to your friends and colleagues and invite them to come to 2013 MAC.
  • Include information about the 2013 MAC in your parish, school, diocesan, or organizational newsletters.
  • Add a link to the MAC website ( to your email signature 

Your 2013 Mid-Atlantic Congress Update

July 2012 

Save the Date! Mark Your Calendars Now!
Mark your calendars now for the 2013 Mid-Atlantic Congress at the Baltimore Hilton Hotel in Baltimore, MD!

Congress begins on Thursday, March 7, 2013, with a brief opening and two rounds of master classes followed by the evening's opening Leadership Assembly featuring Cardinal Donald Wuerl.

Congress concludes on Saturday, March 9, 2013, with a Leadership Assembly led by Ron Rolheiser.

So, block out March 7-9, 2013 for the 2013 Mid-Atlantic Congress! 

Check Out Two Keynote Speakers on YouTube
Seek First the Kingdom - Cardinal Wuerl's Latest Book
Seek First the Kingdom - Cardinal Wuerl's Latest Book

Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI, Dark Nights and Doubts: A Failure of Faith - or Imagination?
Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI, Dark Nights and Doubts: A Failure of Faith - or Imagination?
What You Will See, Hear,and Experience at MAC
Diana Macalintal Here are some of the things that you will see, hear, and experience at the 2013 MAC.
  • A brand-new, multifunctional Resource Center featuring the 2013 MAC exhibitors, wireless Internet service, food, and spaces to relax with friends and colleagues
  • Diana Macalintal, diocesan worship director from San Jose, CA
  • Complimentary continental breakfast and box lunch on Friday, March 8, 2013
  • Networking opportunities during Friday afternoon's resource sessions from 2:45-5:00 p.m. plus options for Friday evening's dinner
  • Plus over 75 speakers!
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Five Minutes for Marriage: July 2012

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Every Marriage Matters <>
Date: Wed, Jun 27, 2012 at 3:05 AM
Subject: Five Minutes for Marriage: July 2012

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Five Minutes for Marriage

June 2012
What is the most important marriage skill?
To listen to your partner in a way that they cannot
 possibly doubt that you love them.

Diane Sollee, 
In This Issue:
Bulletin Insert
Class List
Featured Video Clip
Research Findings
Distress and Restoration
Resources to Pass Along
Healthy Marriage
Step Families
Step Families
Parting Words

The BULLETIN INSERT for July encourages couples to seek and give forgiveness as well as listing several marriage nurturing opportunities.

The CLASS LIST  for July
offers many opportunities for couples desiring to encourage their relationship. Will you be offering classes/seminars that should be included here? We would like to add them.

Your prayers and financial help to strengthen marriage
are greatly appreciated 
Rick and Aly Salz
Alyson and Rick Salz, Vice President and Directors of Every Marriage Matters. Rick and Aly are owners of Righteous Clothing, Clackamas, OR. 
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Every Marriage Matters
1005 Woodlawn Ave
Oregon City, Oregon 97045
Date Night Logo  

The mission: To use dating as a platform for improving relationships between people and their most valued relationships.


August's the month, dating's the game. Let's join in having fun having fun. The Oregon Restaurant and Lodging Association has taken note of our Date Night Challenge; there should be special opportunities for great fun and food. 


If you've already requested a resource packet it will be shipped the 2nd week in July.


If you haven't yet asked for your resources, there are still some available.* (They include free Couple Checkups for your congregation as well as DVD programs for Art of Marriage and Love and Respect, and more.)


Couple Checkups will also be available to those men and women who protect our families and our homes; our police and firefighters.  


Plans are being made for special weekly date events. The last one, on August 25 will be free admission to "Fight Night" with Les and Leslie Parrott. To be held 7pm at City Bible Church Rocky Butte.


* Contact for resources and questions:
Aimee Gebarowski, (503) 939-2754 or
Marriage 911 logo

A first response workshop  

for pastors and lay leaders


Marriage 911 is a quick and affordable tool to help couples in crisis, even with an unwilling spouse.  


Joe and Michelle Williams, creators of Marriage 911 (previously Reconciling God's Way) will provide guidance in helping couples and individuals build reconciliation using biblical principles. Info at Marriage 911      

Save the date 

Tuesday Evening, September 2

Oregon City

A love offering will be taken.



Church Offers Cohabiting Couples 'Free Wedding Day' Craig Gorc, a pastor at Cedar Park Assembly of God in the Seattle suburb of Bothell, wanted to do something to fight for marriage and against cohabitation.
Watch this video.

                 RESEARCH FINDINGS  

25 Marriage Tweeps You Should Follow
If you're on Twitter, these are the people and institutions who discuss marriage that you need to start following. Here is our list (in alphabetical order) of must-follow marriage tweeps. (By Steve Cooper, Hitched Magazine)     

The Vows Column at 20
Understanding poverty in America requires looking behind these numbers at the actual living conditions of the individuals the government deems to be poor. (By Robert Rector and Rachel Sheffield, Heritage Foundation

Cohabitation and Marriage: Living Together vs. A Life Together Living together before marriage, especially with no ring in sight, still leads to higher rates of marital dissatisfaction and divorce. People have a standard for a spouse that is different from that for a cohabiting partner, the finding also gives me hope. Maybe more people than not, on some level, still know that marriage is a sacred joining of two lives and a union that is meant to last till death do you part. (By Elizabeth Hovde, The Oregonian)

Marriage and Cohabitation in the United States: A Statistical Portrait A focus on current and past marital experience, characteristics of marital and cohabiting partners, and the stability of marriages and cohabitations.
(By Paula Y. Goodwin, et al, Centers for Disease Control, US HHS)


Fifty Shades of Caution I hate to see women falling into the same trap that has claimed so many men. My hope and prayer is that Christian women, when faced with the temptation of a book like Fifty Shades of Grey, will "be watchful" and "stand firm in the faith."  Don't fall into the same trap as men do with pornography. (By Dave Boehi, FamilyLife)



Does a Good God Want Me in a Bad Marriage? Pursue all avenues of reconciliation before divorce. It may not seem like a good marriage at this time, but wait and see what God has in store for you ... I'm willing to bet you'll be glad you did. (by Sabrina Beasley, FamilyLife)   


Divorce: The Second-Hand Smoke of Climate Change? How you can offset the divorce footprint... stay married and plant a tree. (by Rachel Clark, Psychology Today


How to Break Destructive Relationship Patterns The good news is that your close relationships don't have to be painful. If you're willing to change destructive relationship patterns in your life, God will help you break free from them and enjoy healthy relationships. (By Whitney Hopler,  



I Need a Teammate, Not a Cell Mate I know that in order for our marriage to be a success, we need to work at it together. But it's hard to feel like your teammate when there are times you make me feel more like a cell mate. (By Steve and Annie Chapman,  


How to Grow Closer to Your Spouse Despite Your Differences God has made you and your spouse two completely different people, and the many differences between you can prove frustrating when you're struggling to understand each other. But if you accept the differences between you and learn how to work with them effectively, you can build the close marriage God wants you and your spouse to enjoy. (By Whitney Hopler,


                           Return to Top
                    HEALTHY MARRIAGE 

What Couples Want to Know But Are Too Shy to Ask You have to be open to talking about what you value and your vulnerability. No one teaches us how to do that. (By Elizabeth Bernstein, Wall Street Journal)

15 Things Wives Should Stop Doing What do your words and actions say to your husband about your love for him? (by Mary May Larmoyeux, FamilyLife)



Wedding Dress Bonds Seven Women Across Three Generations One wedding dress, seven brides, a legacy of love:Rita Zgorski and her daughters and granddaughter, who have all worn the wedding dress. (By Ellen McCarthy, Washington Post)  


"How Far Is Too Far?" Is the Wrong Question Four convictions parents must develop as they teach their kids about sexual purity. The first step to take in determining your convictions is to make an honest appraisal of your own history (including your mistakes and regrets) and learn how this has affected your views. (by Dennis and Barbara Rainey, FamilyLife



12 Traits of an Abusive Relationship After 20 years of ministry I frequently hear this cry from men and women who are in a bad relationship. In an attempt to help singles avoid a destructive relationship or a painful marriage I offer insight on how to detect a toxic, abusive person. (Laura Petherbridge,  


4 Skills You Need Before Getting Married People must learn how to do the high-skills activity that partnership requires. Otherwise, couples are at risk for intense fighting, and launching a marriage that's at risk from the outset. (By Dr. Susan Heitler,




If a healthy relationship is vitally important to our couples, to our children, to our church, to our community, and to our nation, why is it that on most church websites (and in church budgets) do we find ministry for our children, for our youth, for our women, sometimes for our men, but very seldom for our marriages?  


You are awesome!

It's great to be on His team together.




Tom Dressel

Every Marriage Matters |
1005 Woodlawn Ave | 1005 Woodlawn Ave | Oregon City | OR | 97045

Deepening Friendship

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Days of Deepening Friendship <>
Date: Mon, Jun 25, 2012 at 2:05 PM
Subject: Deepening Friendship
To:" target="_blank" style="color: #888; font-size: 22px; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none;">Deepening Friendship

Thoughts on a Wedding from a Bride-osaurus

Posted: 25 Jun 2012 08:30 AM PDT

This is a guest post by Elizabeth M. Briel.

Elizabeth M. BrielHave no doubt, weddings have become an industry. The average cost of a wedding last year was just over $25,000. And the pressure on young people in particular to get caught up in the wedding—versus preparing for the sacrament of marriage—is enormous and rather grotesque. I had a taste of this, even getting married for the first time at 44 years old.

The thing I’d do differently: I wouldn’t register. I caved to pressure to register, but hey, let’s face it, I’m middle-aged and I don’t need a cheese grater or a set of steak knives. Registering at a department store was, however, hilarious. The good woman who walked me around and explained to me how I was to use what looked like a little toy gun to “fire” at item codes and then enter how many of each—two washcloths, four bath towels, one 8×10 silver frame—was quite accommodating despite my poor attitude.

She took me to the china department: “Sorry, we already have china, two sets.”

She took me to pots and pans: “Sorry, we’re trying to get rid of the extras we have already.”

She took me to bedding and bath and kitchen and what could only be described as “the useless knickknacks department.” “Sorry, we don’t really need any of this.”

Undaunted, she took me to luggage; finally something my fiancé could actually use! I bought him some very nice new luggage since his was ancient, and he travels internationally with great frequency.

But as we wandered through the dazzling displays of shiny gadgetry and sparkling crystal decanter sets, I kept telling her, “Don’t think ‘bridezilla,’ think, ‘bride-osaurus.’” She laughed and said, “I’m going to love helping you.”

People will want to be generous, and it may be more appropriate for you to register if you are just starting out and really don’t have a cheese grater and think your life would be more meaningful with one. But do not cave to the pressure that will tell you your wedding is more important than your marriage; that your reception menu is more important than your marriage prep; that your wedding dress is more important than dressing yourself in the patience, charity, and chastity that will need to be your constant companions in marriage.

If I could do things over, I would have asked folks to make a donation to a charity instead: the Foundation for Aging Brides.

Elizabeth M. Briel is the author of The Rosary; May Crowning, Mass, and Merton; and 2013: A Book of Grace-Filled Days.

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Marriage Memo: It's All About Commitment

From: FamilyLife []
Sent: Monday, June 25, 2012 10:02 AM
Subject: Marriage Memo: It's All About Commitment

Marriage Memo from FamilyLife

Marriage Memo from FamilyLife

June 25, 2012

It's All About Commitment

by R. Scott Williams

On June 8, 1952, in Collins, Mississippi, a petite, 18-year-old Alabama girl and a quiet, 21-year-old Mississippi man looked each other in the eyes and made commitments to each other. He promised to love and cherish her. She promised to honor and respect him. They both vowed that their commitments would stand through any circumstance life could throw at them.

Val and Colleen Williams—my parents—surely had lots of things on their minds on that hot day 60 years ago. In that moment, before God, family, and friends, everything seemed perfect, and it was hard to imagine that any problem could ever diminish that love and commitment.

But wedding day vows are just promises pledged in the midst of hope. True marriage is day-to-day commitment.

The problem for most starry-eyed newlyweds is that they say their vows under the most ideal of circumstances, not the most trying. It’s not until life gets hard that couples begin to realize the weight of their words.

Certainly my parents looked forward to being homeowners, but they had no way of knowing that they would forfeit their first home in the throes of a poor housing market a few short years later. They surely envisioned on their wedding day the joy that a child would bring, but they couldn’t have anticipated the eight years of emptiness they would feel waiting for God to finally bless them with their first child. And nothing could prepare them for the intense pain of burying one of their own children.

As a young couple so much in love, they couldn’t have fathomed how jobs and bills and just the day-to-day care of life could ever get bad enough to threaten their commitment. And in the prime of health, neither could see 60 years down the road when debilitating disease would slowly rob one of function and require the other to take the role of primary caregiver.

Countless times they have been nudged to the brink of giving up, just like every other couple married more than a few years. But one day after the other, by the grace of God, they have stood by the bond of their word. Today their love burns brighter than it did on the day when, as naïve young lovers, they made such bold promises in simple faith. They see clearly now what was only an ideal on their wedding day—that love is commitment.

My parents aren’t the only ones who have been blessed by their years of sowing into their marriage. Their commitment has cast a vision for their children. And we, by God’s grace, are following their example to cast a similar vision for our children.

Unfortunately, my children face a cultural landscape of marriage that is far different than the one my parents did in 1952. Back then, 11 Mississippi couples married for every couple who divorced. Today in the Hospitality State, for every two couples who marry for the first time three others put their witness to divorce papers. And of those who divorce, 11 of 12 claim “irreconcilable differences” as the reason.

So much for commitment.

As couples call it quits, their children are placing less confidence in marriage and have fewer examples of persevering through the hard times (most couples who end their marriage do so before their tenth anniversary). And that’s the reason so many marriages today are weak: When inevitable suffering comes, most couples choose comfort over commitment. Sadly, they are missing the hidden gem of marriage—commitment through suffering. I’m not siding with the cynics who claim that marriage is God’s way of making people suffer. What I am saying, though, is that resolute commitment in the midst of suffering builds a marital bond that is all the more strong.

Modern social science research bears witness to the vows of commitment. In a recent long-term study, researchers found that three-fourths of unhappily-married couples who chose not to divorce or separate reported themselves as being happily married after five years. On the other hand, those who did divorce and remarry were no happier, on average, than their unhappy peers who stuck with it.

Scripture and time also bear witness. The Apostle Paul reveals this truth that oftentimes, the road to a hopeful future must first travel a painful landscape.

[W]e also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5:3-5)

The grace and love of God have a perfect application in marriage. In that same passage, Paul points out that God loved us and Christ died for us when we were least lovable—when the situation was the least ideal. Following His example, it is in those times—whenever circumstances (or a spouse) get difficult—that we are able to exercise the most powerful tool of an intimate relationship. Marriage is not about what we can get from a relationship, but what we can give. God allows these difficult times so that we can learn to trust the empowering of His Holy Spirit to make us a channel for His unqualified love. Working through these difficulties with resolve, our relationships are strengthened, giving us hope to sustain us and to build a marriage that goes the distance.

My wife Ellie and I each are blessed to have parents who have remained committed to each other for over six decades. In a very real sense, our calling to full-time ministry is an outgrowth of the heritage our parents have passed to us. We wish everyone could experience the blessing of such a legacy. Our desire is to proclaim God’s truth about marriage and family, to equip men and women to fulfill their commitments to each other, and pass that legacy on to the next generation. Although it may not be a legacy that was passed to you, you can choose to make it a rich gift that you leave your children.

Check It Out Section of this email

Make plans now to join Dennis and Barbara Rainey on the Love Like You Mean It® marriage cruise Februery 11-15, 2013, where you'll visit the beautiful islands of Key West and Cozumel. Special guests include Priscilla Shirer, Voddie and Bridget Baucham, Sara Groves, Denver and the Mile High Orchestra, and more. Book your cabin today!

Take your marriage from good to great at an Art of Marriage® video event. Find a location near you.


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Is "Good Fighting" Beneficial?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Carolyn Rich Curtis <>
Date: Fri, Jun 22, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Subject: Is "Good Fighting" Beneficial?

Is "Good Fighting" Beneficial to Marriage?
How to fight a "good fight"

Many couples fear that frequent arguing can signal their relationship's demise. It may be the type of arguing you do, not the frequency, that determines your fate.


Do couples that fight actually have an edge? A 2012 study found that 44 percent of married couples believe that fighting more than once a week helps keep the lines of communication open.


William Doherty, professor in the University of Minnesota's department of family social science says although this study was done in India, it reinforces similar U.S. studies. He warns, however, that only "good fighting" can be helpful, and that "bad fighting" can be destructive.


A "good fight" would be a discussion or conflict with a soft start-up rather than a hard start-up. For example, a soft start-up may begin, "I'm feeling very overwhelmed and could really use some help." On the other hand, a hard start-up may begin, "Why am I the only one who ever does any housework around here?"


Here are a few other tips from Doherty on "good fighting":

  • Dealing with an issue can be better than ignoring it, especially if resentment is building.
  • Focus only on the topic at hand; don't bring up old issues.
  • Don't bring in third parties or their opinions.
  • Don't compare your spouse to someone else.
  • Don't use "you always/never".
  • Remember to RESPECT one another.
  • Apologize when it's warranted. This shows you value the relationship.

You can check out the source article at the Chicago Tribune here.

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Calling all involved in the Marriage, Fathering, & Family Strengthening Movement!

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From: "NARME" <>
Date: Jun 21, 2012 3:47 PM
Subject: Calling all involved in the Marriage, Fathering, & Family Strengthening Movement!
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Live The Life


Book your NARME Conference spot and get your $139 room rate before the block runs out on June29th!

Baltimore Orioles NARME night at the ball game.  Includes all you can eat and all the
non-alcoholic beverages you can drink through the 7th inning!

NARME Members only Join us for dinner and networking on Monday night!
Register now for the NARME 2012 Conference in Baltimore and learn the latest in Relationship Education for Marriages, Fatherhood, Youth, Families and more ways to help families and children!  Hear from the Acting Secretary of the Administration for Children & Families, Mr. George Sheldon (invited) and other great plenary speakers:

Sunday Night July 22nd – Author Elizabeth Weil will share how she ended up writing the book No Cheating No Dying; How I Took a Good Marriage and Made it Better. We will learn about the latest Data from the 2012 Kids Count and Child Outcomes from Dr. Frances Deviney - Kids Count Texas and the Annie E. Casey Foundation; Julie Baumgardner will share her ups and downs during 15 years of serving families in Chattanooga, TN – what works and doesn’t in involving Dads in their children’s lives, reducing teen pregnancy rates, and helping couples on the brink of divorce.

You will leave with your head spinning with all the great ideas, new research, and great plenary line up at the NARME Conference in Baltimore!!!
Sign up today!

Strengthening Marriages and Families

P.O. Box 14946 | Tallahassee, FL 32317 US

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