Marriage Monthly: Advice to the Groom, Marriage In the News, A Guide to the Beatitudes for Catholic Couples

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Subject: Marriage Monthly: Advice to the Groom, Marriage In the News, A Guide to the Beatitudes for Catholic Couples

For Your Marriage  
marriage monthly
JUNE 2012   

Home   Dating & Engaged    Parenting & Family    For Every Marriage    About Catholic Marriages

Featured Article: Advice to the Groom 

Just in time for Father's Day on Sunday, here's an inspiring letter from a dad to his soon-to-be-married son. It offers timeless advice, whether you've been married one year or 20.  

Marriage In the News
Pope Benedict
What would you ask the Pope if you had the opportunity? At the recent World Meeting of Families in Milan, five couples from around the world raised such issues as balancing home and work and supporting couples who have divorced and remarried. 

Blogs: Happily Even After and Learning To Say "I Do"   

Sara & Justin
At "Happily Even After," Josh and Stacey have begun a weight loss campaign. Meanwhile at "Learning To Say 'I Do'," Justin and Sara anticipate their baby's arrival in just about a month.   Noem family



Monthly Book Review   "Blessed Is Marriage: A Guide to the Beatitudes for Catholic Couples"   

Book cover
Even though married life is challenging, couples can still aspire to holiness. In this new book, John Bosio shows how couples can use the Beatitudes to develop a more loving attitude.   


Marriage Tip of the Month
June 8
Do you tend to talk more than listen? Just for today, try to listen to your spouse as much as you talk to them.


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Fathers, Word Games, Geometry and More...

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Date: Wed, Jun 13, 2012 at 7:05 AM
Subject: Fathers, Word Games, Geometry and More...

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                                                                                                  JUNE 2012

Fathers, Word Games, Geometry and More...


Dear William,

First and foremost, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY on Sunday to all of you wonderful fathers out there! Listeners Unite features a tribute to fathers in the Listening Quotes Libraries. To see these great quotes by and about great fathers, click here!  :)  Also this month, I'd like to share two poems, a listening wish and an invitation to share your wishes, too. 

A Poem with a Listening Theme

This month, I posted a poem about listening called The Word Game, which offers a glimpse into the mind of a child who wonders about this "word game" we call conversation. To read the poem, click here.

Along with The Word Game, I posted a photograph called Vanishing Point, which shows a face disappearing into the background. Children who don't feel they are heard find ways of disappearing; the child in the poem tries to give up her voice, as she sees no purpose in speaking when no one seems to be listening. To see the photograph, which is posted below the poem, click here.

The Story of a Circle and a Square  :) 

My poem, Geometry 101, which tells a little story of a circle and a square, has been posted on Morgen Bailey's Post-Weekend Poetry Page. Click here to read the poem.     

& an Invitation to Share your Wishes 

I shared the following listening wish on a Wish Tree; the tree was part of the Imagine Peace Project:

"I wish that every child would be listened to, encouraged, and respected-and that they would continue to be treated that way for the rest of their lives." - Linda Eve Diamond

To read about this project, Yoko Ono's Wish Trees, and how you can share your wishes online, click here


For more updates and recent posts, please visit the Poetry Library and the Bulletin Board at 

For those interested in listening-related news and updates, visit the In Listening News page at Listeners Unite. These updates are also available by following Listeners Unite on Twitter. 
Wishing you love, balance and listening... and a Happy Father's Day to all who celebrate!  :) 


Linda Eve Diamond

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Tip of the Week: June 12, 2012

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Date: Tue, Jun 12, 2012 at 12:36 PM
Subject: Tip of the Week: June 12, 2012

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Council for Relationships
Helping People Live Their Best Lives
This Week's Relationship Tip

                     Growing Closer                                                    


Of all the ways partners can grow closer to one another, the most important one is to speak and listen to one another from their hearts.  One sure sign of this kind of communication is when I hear a husband say "I could see that my wife was angry but I suspected that she was really feeling hurt because I hadn't helped her with some chores" or when I hear a wife say "I could see that my husband was pulling away and I thought perhaps he was worried he would disappoint he decided not to say anything at all."...



Wanda Sevey, M.Div, LMFT is a Senior Staff Therapist and Director of CFR's New Jersey office. She can be reached at 856-783-4200 ext. 1.



For many more tips and articles on a variety of topics, please visit Council for Relationship's Tip of the Week Archive.

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Save the Date!  
If you work with couples, you won't want to miss this year's Treating Couples Conference.  Make sure to mark your calendars for FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2nd for our annual conference, "The State of Affairs: Rethinking Our Clinical Attitudes Towards Infidelity."  We'll be joined for the day by renowned infidelity expert, couples therapist and best-selling author  Esther Perel.

For additional information about the Conference, call or email Hilary Siegel:
Phone: 215.382.6680 x3124




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DCoE June Webinar – Intimate Partner Violence: What Health Care Providers Need to Know

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Date: Mon, Jun 11, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Subject: DCoE June Webinar – Intimate Partner Violence: What Health Care Providers Need to Know

Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury (DCoE) presents:

DCoE June Webinar –" target="_blank">Intimate Partner Violence: What Health Care Providers Need to Know

June 28, 2012, 1-2:30 p.m. (EDT)


Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a serious public health problem in the United States. Nearly three of 10 women and one of 10 men have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by a partner (Black et al., 2011). IPV victims are at risk for a variety of psychological health problems, including posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and substance misuse.

Several factors (e.g., being violent or aggressive, alcohol misuse) may increase the risk of someone hurting his/her partner. Research has suggested the co-occurrence of IPV and PTSD may be related to combat experiences.

This webinar will address the impact of IPV on victims psychological health and identify appropriate screening methods for signs of abuse. In addition, this webinar will examine the relationship between IPV and PTSD, emphasizing provider-level strategies for IPV perpetration.


April A. Gerlock Ph.D., ARNP
Research Associate, HSRD NW Center of Excellence
VA Puget Sound Health Care System

Carole Warshaw, M.D.
National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health
Registration and Education Credits" target="_blank">

Sign up for the webinar.

Continuing education units and continuing medical education credits are available from Saint Louis University. You must register in advance using the Adobe Connect website to qualify.

If your network security settings do not allow you to access Adobe Connect, use another network or device to access the registration page. Once registered, you may use Adobe Connect or Defense Connect Online to attend the webinar.

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Links to New Research by Mark Regnerus

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Date: Mon, Jun 11, 2012 at 12:25 PM
Subject: Links to New Research by Mark Regnerus

Below please find the link to Mark Regnerus’ recently released article in the latest issue of Social Science Research. A PDF of the study and Mark’s responses to comments on the study are also included in the attached.


How Different are the Adult Children of Parents Who Have Same-Sex Relationships? Findings from the New Family Structures Study (Link to free HTML and PDF copies of Mark Regnerus’ study)


Same-sex parenting and children’s outcomes: A closer examination of the American Psychological Association’s brief on lesbian and gay parenting by Loren Marks, published June 10, 2012 in the same issue of Social Science Research


Reviewers’ comments on Regnerus’ and Marks’ articles:

The well-being of children with gay and lesbian parents by Paul R. Amato

What can we learn from studies of children raised by gay or lesbian parents? By David J. Eggebeen

Further comments on the papers by Marks and Regnerus by Cynthia Osborne


Mark Regnerus’ response to these comments are in the attached and are also available online: Response to Paul Amato, David Eggebeen, and Cynthia Osborne


News coverage:

Queer as Folk: Does it really make no difference if your parents are straight of gay? by Mark Regnerus (Slate Magazine, June 11, 2012)


Back in the Gay: Does new study indict gay parenthood or make a case for gay marriage? by William Saletan (Slate Magazine, June 11, 2012) [responding to Mark Regnerus’ article]


Q & A with Mark Regnerus about the background of his new study by Mark Regnerus (Patheos, June 10, 2012)


Study Suggests Risks from Same-Sex Parenting: Stark gaps in the ‘gold standard’ data set by Cheryl Wetzstein (Washington Times, June 10, 2012)


Studies Challenge Widely Held Assumptions About Same-Sex Parenting by Lois M. Collins (Deseret News, June 9, 2012)


Family Structure Counts, editorial (Deseret News, June 9, 2012)


Five Minutes: There's a Date Night Challenge PDX in Your Future

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From: Every Marriage Matters <>
Date: Thu, May 31, 2012 at 3:05 AM
Subject: Five Minutes: There's a Date Night Challenge PDX in Your Future

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Five Minutes for Marriage

June 2012
In Oregon, Marriage drops the probability of child poverty by 84%
In This Issue:
Bulletin Insert
Class List
Featured Video Clip
Research Findings
Distress and Restoration
Resources to Pass Along
Healthy Marriage
Step Families
Parting Words

The BULLETIN INSERT for June encourages couples to seek and give forgiveness as well as listing several marriage nurturing opportunities.

The CLASS LIST  for June
offers many opportunities for couples desiring to encourage their relationship. Will you be offering classes/seminars that should be included here? We would like to add them.

Your prayers and financial help to strengthen marriage
are greatly appreciated 
Dave and Kim Anderson
David and Kim Anderson, Directors of Every Marriage Matters. David is a Counselor and Coach, Kim is a Director of Payroll 
Like us on Facebook
Every Marriage Matters
1005 Woodlawn Ave
Oregon City, Oregon 97045

Date Night Challenge PDX is a 4 date, 4 week challenge for Portland couples during August. Date Night is a phenomenon sweeping the USA. Why? People are so busy with work & their social networks they don't have time for the relationships that matter the most. Date Night Challenge is all about carving time out of your busy schedules to hang with the person that matters most.
   There will be great ideas for dates, deals to make it happen, stuff to talk about, a few quizzes and perhaps celebrity attractions. DNC PDX is modeled after similar events held in West Palm Beach and Chicago. Check out their events at
    Better yet, come learn the plans for our Portland event at either of these two Wednesday, June 6th, events:

Eastside Pastor Briefing
10:00-11:30 am, June 6th
City Bible Church Rocky Butte Campus
9200 NE Fremont, Portland

Westside Pastor Briefing
2:00-3:30 pm, June 6th
Solid Rock Church Westside Campus
10500 SW Nimbus, Bldg T, Portland

Marriage Advice - How to Stop a Divorce Unhappy in your relationship but your partner won't work on it because he thinks you're the problem? You CAN change your relationship singlehandedly! Don't believe it's possible? Watch this video.


The Gray Divorcés The divorce rate for people 50 and over has doubled in the past two decades. Why baby boomers are breaking up late in life like no generation before. by Susan Gregory Thomas for Wall Street Journal


Top 15 Reasons Romantic Partners  Fight by Lori Lowe for Marriage Gems blog



Back to Happily Ever After What couples do in the aftermath of an affair can determine whether they'll have a future together By Elizabeth Bernstein for Wall Street Journal  


Can This Marriage Be Saved? Under-standing Adultery The issues associated with adultery are oftencomplex, and  multifaceted. There is no simple formula for restoration. However, if the couple sincerely desires a healthy, thriving marriage here are a few beneficial guidelines. (Laura Petherbridge, 



How to Mess Up Your Marriage Have you ever felt like a stranger living in a strange land?  Like somehow you've woken up in a place where you don't speak the language? By Matt Bell for his Matt About Money blog


What Are the Risk Factors? Divorce researchers agree that gray divorce is on the rise. But the question of what the precise numbers are, and what's driving them, isn't black and white. By Carl Bialik for Wall Street Journal



Is "Good Fighting" Beneficial to Marriage? Offers "good fighting" tips from Dr William Doherty. By Lori Lowe for her

Marriage Gems blog

Happiness Comes Before Success in Life, Not After By Lori Lowe for her Marriage Gems blog

              HEALTHY MARRIAGE 

Five Ways to Be the Husband God Wants You to Be Paying heed to these five directives can change your life and your marriage and make you the man and husband God wants you to be. By Stormie Omartian for

Four Elements of a Grace-Based Marriage There are four things that if you take in and adjust even 10 degrees, you can be on the path to having a wonderfully connected, grace-filled marriage where there is love within the home. By Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg for

Loving Your Spouse with a Whole Heart The passion and intimacy you wish for you and your spouse is possible only if you both devote yourselves wholeheartedly to your relationship - fully engaging and giving 100 percent, without reservation. By Whitney Hopler for


The Challenging Journey for Step Families Anyone trying to build a marriage in a stepfamily should heed these words of caution: "Buckle your seat belts and remain seated. The ride ahead may be bumpy for a while, but it will smooth out as you go. Press on, and don't jump out of the plane!" Ron Deal and David Olson at 


Real commitment has real power to turn a good relationship into a great marriage. It lays a firm foundation for the attachment between two partners. Without that security, partners don't feel safe, and they will not invest as much in the future. - Dr Scott Stanley in his book The Power of Commitment


You are awesome!

It's great to be on His team together.




Tom Dressel

Every Marriage Matters |
1005 Woodlawn Ave | 1005 Woodlawn Ave | Oregon City | OR | 97045

Monthly MM's & PP's - JUNE 2012

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From: Susan Vogt <>
Date: Mon, May 21, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Subject: Monthly MM's & PP's - JUNE 2012

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Marriage Moments & Parenting Pointers

JUNE - 2012


Family heart


I offer you these tidbits of wisdom as prayer prompts to remind you (and your constituents) of the sacredness of marriage vows and the value of every child. The commitment to love a spouse forever, and the generous gift of life parents offer a child are indeed spiritual under-takings and cannot be done alone. May the God of Love be with you and your work.

FOR MORE extended marriage and parenting articles, plus archived Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers, go to:
*BLOG: Living Lightly.

*TWITTER: @Vogt_Susan

You are welcome to reprint these MM's and PP's in bulletins, newsletters, and on your website with proper credit, ("By Susan Vogt,")
When used on a website, please also link to my website, 

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Forward to a Friend 

Dear Bill ,
Below are your Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers for JUNE.   

NOTE: With the close of the academic year, I thought it might be fun for couples to take my quiz: Are We Intellectually Compatible?  


471. June 4: Marriage is not so much a matter of finding the right partner as being the right partner. Although some people have a natural talent for relationships some skills can be learned. Click here for resources.


472. June 11: Triangles are the most stable geometric form. Invite another person into your marriage to make it a threesome - you, your spouse, and God. Prayer to God can provide a perspective when both of you want your own way.


473. June 18: This Wednesday (June 20)  is the official beginning of summer and the longest day of the year. Take advantage of the daylight and do something fun, foolish, or refreshing. Maybe run through a sprinkler together or soak your honey with a squirt gun


474. June 25: We remember what we want to hear. For example, recently my husband asked me to take out the compost after dinner. I unintentionally but conveniently "forgot" because it was rainy and I figured it could probably wait another day. Sound at all familiar?


470. June 1: How many shoes does your child have? How many do you? How many can you wear at one time? The first week in June is National Barefoot Week. Have fun going barefoot for a day or an hour this week, but remember that some kids don't have any shoes. Check out Soles4Souls to see how you can help.


471. June 8: How to teach your child to be honest? Be honest yourself. Keep your promises to your child. Don't fudge on your taxes. Call a foul on yourself in games. Return the extra change the clerk mistakenly gave you...


472. June 15: Father's Day "Fathers, do not provoke your children, or they may lose heart." (Colossians 3:21) It's not easy being a father, trying to straddle that delicate balance between firmness and compassion. How did your own father do it? Well or imperfectly? I know you're trying. Keep it up.


473. June 22: Are you too busy? Too busy to waste time with your child? Too busy to sweat in the sun at your child's game? Too busy to take a walk and pause while your child picks a dandelion? You're too busy. Slow down, don't move so fast - at least for today.


474. June 29: Teaching politeness, Part 1:

Beyond "Please" and "Thank You" children need to learn how to respond to an introduction to a new person, give a firm handshake, look a person straight in the eye, and how to respectfully address adults. Can you check these life lessons off your parenting "to do" list?

© 2012 Susan Vogt
MAIL: 523 E. Southern Ave., Covington, KY 41015
PHONE: (859) 291-6197, FAX: (859) 291-4742
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Save the Date - Better Marriages Conference 2013

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Date: Thu, Jun 7, 2012 at 4:01 AM
Subject: Save the Date - Better Marriages Conference 2013

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  Save The Date!

Better Marriages Conference 2013
Educating Couples - Building Relationships 

July 11-14, 2013
Hilton North Raleigh/Midtown

Raleigh, NC

  • For couples of all ages and stages of relationship and the professionals that serve them (relationship coaches, therapists, developers of curricula, founders of programs, relationship educators, clergy, lay leaders)
  • Join hundreds of couples from around the world committed to growing the best marriage possible  
  • Grow, build relational skills, and enhance your relationship  
  • Leave feeling closer than ever before 
  • Become trained and certified to lead best-practices events and programs by nationally-known experts in the field of marriage education and marriage enrichment
  • CEUs provided for professionals

     More Information to Follow



For more resources, please visit our online store.


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Retired Department of Human Services Director Howard Hendrick receives Lifetime Achievement Award

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Date: Tue, Jun 5, 2012 at 12:04 PM
Subject: Retired Department of Human Services Director Howard Hendrick receives Lifetime Achievement Award

Nice article below.


Retired Department of Human Services Director Howard Hendrick receives Lifetime Achievement Award


WASHINGTON, D.C.—On June 4, the American Public Human Services Association (APHSA) honored Howard Hendrick, recently retired director of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services (OKDHS), with its 2012 Lifetime Achievement Award for his contributions to the field of human services.

“For more than a quarter of a century Howard Hendrick has served the people of Oklahoma directly while serving the whole nation as well through his work on the improvement of human services,” said APHSA Executive Director Tracy L. Wareing, who presented the award at the organization’s National Policy Forum in Washington. “We thank him for all his contributions and we value his stewardship and his legacy.”

When Hendrick retired in April, ending nearly 14 years at the helm of the OKDHS, his tenure in the same state was longer than any human services director presently serving in that capacity in the country. Hendrick’s accomplishments at OKDHS during his leadership include leading the nation in the number of adoptions of children in state custody per capita, OKDHS being recognized for having the most outstanding Child Support Enforcement program in the country, and the agency achieving the highest ranked child care licensing program for standards and monitoring in the nation. 

Hendrick became the OKDHS director in 1998. In the ensuing years, he led a staff of nearly 8,000 employees, managed budgets totaling more than $2 billion and administered more than 40 state and federal human service programs throughout Oklahoma’s 77 counties.

Hendrick also served as Cabinet Secretary for Human Services for former Democratic Governor Brad Henry and served as Cabinet Secretary for Health and Human Services for former Republican Governor Frank Keating. Prior to joining OKDHS, Hendrick served 12 years as a member of the Oklahoma State Senate. For many years, he served as the Senate representative to the Oklahoma State Pension Commission and as the legislative representative to SoonerStart, the Interagency Coordinating Council for Early Childhood Intervention.

In 2004, he was selected as one of four Americans to receive the National Public Service Award for leadership in public administration, presented jointly by the National Academy of Public Administration and the American Society for Public Administration. In 2003, the Oklahoma Institute of Child Advocacy named him to the Child Advocates Hall of Fame.

In addition to his work in Oklahoma, Hendrick has been involved throughout his career at the national level, serving as APHSA president in 2009 and 2010 and as an APHSA board member from June 2004 until his retirement. He has served on several other national committees for legislative and human service organizations, sharing state-level solutions to the provision of health care and to local poverty. In addition, he served on the boards of the National Children’s Alliance and the Nazarene Theological Seminary and on the Executive Committee for the National Council of State Human Services. Prior to serving in the Oklahoma Senate, Hendrick practiced business, real estate, and tax law. Hendrick is a Certified Public Accountant and received his Master’s in Business Administration and a Juris Doctorate from the University of Oklahoma.


Editor's Note: A photo of Hendrick is coming soon and is available upon request.  Read APHSA's news release here. (Link opens in new window)


View this news release and contact information online at