Fwd: [Every Marriage Matters] Does conflict destroy your dating fun?

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From: Every Marriage Matters <everymarriagematters@comcast.net>
Date: Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 3:09 AM
Subject: [Every Marriage Matters] Does conflict destroy your dating fun?
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

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Five Minutes for Marriage

June 2015

If people are living the Christian life at home, 

they are living the Christian life.


Could the building of healthy marriages be the very best way to build disciples?
Dear Bill 

Protect Connection Time from Conflict

This is crucial. Many couples try to multitask during the time they've set aside. They try to combine quality time and resolve difficult issues "while we have this chance for some time together." Avoid this. If something should come up during friendship time, call a Time Out and decide when you will talk about the issued later. ... The good news about problems is that they don't go away! They'll still be there to work on after your special times. (Scott Stanley, A Lasting Promise, p. 197)

In This Issue
Bulletin Insert Grow Your Understanding (Black & White option)
Upcoming Events around Greater Portland. We'd like to include the event/class you are hosting
June Video Clip Weird Things Couples Do on Date Night

Date Night PDX in August
   Take the Date Night Challenge Logistics for a great summer ministry to couples
   Jason Earls How the word "Sure" changed his marriage

Marriage in the News   
Resources for Pastors (Repeats from our May newsletter)

Marriage is not for the faint of heart.

The 4th Annual Date Night PDX is coming to you in August! Join in and encourage others to Date 4 Times in 4 Weeks to vitalize their relationships. Couples that date weekly are more than 3 times more likely to say they are very happy than those that don't. 
    Every Marriage Matters want to make is easy for you to encourage couples to build healthy marriage having fun doing it. Get  as well as downloadable videos and marketing resources to get started.

The DateNight Comedy Tour 

Friday, August 7


Kick off Date Night PDX with great comedy. Check out what people are saying. And here is a John Maxwell testimony.
The Comedy Tour will be live at City Bible, also available to your church via a streaming internet download. Tickets are now on sale, $20/couple. 
Questions? Call Tom Dressel at (503) 655-1489 

6 Questions to Ask Before You Call It Quits in Marriage. I just don't love him anymore. She doesn't make me happy. We fight all the time. The kids are grown and we have nothing in common. Those are some of the words that are often spoken by a husband or wife when they're ready to throw in their marital towel. But there are a lot of reasons why couples should move slowly and think carefully about the incredibly life altering decision to move toward separation or a divorce. (Mark Merrill, MarkMerrill.com) 


Choose what type of couple you want to be. One night recently, I had to stop everything, and write something down. Because it was far, far too important to forget - and provides a key tip for marriages. (by Shaunti Feldhahn, Shaunti.com) 

Cultivating a Growing Friendship. God has joined two together as one not to be business partners but covenant friends to the end. God said, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen. 2:24)." It's in this "holding fast" that friendships are cultivated, but it most certainly requires purposeful effort! Here are some simple suggestions to keep your friendship with your spouse a top priority. (By Jamaal Williams, ThrivingPastor.com)
Eight Ideas for Protecting Your Marriage from Divorce. I recently gave advice to singles and dating couples about how to lower their future odds of marital breakdown. Now, I'm focusing on those already married. In that prior piece, I listed some risk factors for divorce, so if you want a recap on those, see that post first. (By Scott Stanley, Sliding Vs Deciding blog)
How Unmarried Men Respond to Their Girlfriend's Unexpected Pregnancies. The distrust and suspicion that a few men voiced are deeply troubling. In this view of things, an unplanned pregnancy represents not the fulfillment of a couple's love, not the chance for a new beginning, nor even a mere accident, but the revelation that a woman can't be trusted. (by David Lapp, Family Studies blog)
Is It Selling Out to Marry Someone I'm Not Infatuated With? Look for qualities, traits and characteristics that are attractive based on the things you know you need and want in a relationship.  Take it one step at a time, and be assured that in a right relationship, feelings will always be present, but they can never be the foundation of a healthy relationship. True love is based on a healthy combination of facts and feelings, and a whole lot of good choices.  May God give you the wisdom to choose well. (By Debra K. Fileta, GaryThomas.com)
Love Means Learning to Say No. Let me begin this post by sharing a common dilemma of life. How we resolve this dilemma will either serve or assault family intimacy. This account comes from a book that I highly recommend (Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown) (Gary Thomas, GaryThomas.com)

The Danger of Flirting. Protect your marriage by watching how you talk with the opposite sex, even in jest. Editor's Note: In his book, Hedges, Jerry Jenkins writes of the need to protect a marriage relationship by establishing boundaries ("hedges") that help you maintain purity and avoid temptation. Hedges are rules "intended to protect my eyes, my heart, my hands, and therefore my marriage." He writes, "I've found that if I take care of how things look, I take care of how they are. In other words, if I am never alone with an unrelated female because it might not look appropriate, I have eliminated the possibility that anything inappropriate will take place." In his book, Jenkins tells about five hedges, the fourth of which is below. (By Jerry Jenkins, FamilyLife)


Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It's a promise bigger than the two people who marry. It's a serious, dedicated covenant to forge a lifetime bond. You need to know what the promise is if you want to make it work. It's an institution we join, not solely a private relationship. It's meant to shape us, improve us, and call out the best in us. -- Jeff Kemp, in Facing the Blitz

Steve and Tami Stephens
Tami and Steve Stephens, Directors. Steve also serves at President. Tami serves her family in their home. Steve is a psychologist in Happy Valley.
What a precious gift your Lord has given you: your spouse! Treasure that gift as you treasure your relationship with God. Strengthen both of these relationships by spending time with them. Pray together! Rejoice together!  Laugh together! 



Tom and Liz Dressel

Every Marriage Matters


Phone: (503) 468-7054

Cell: (503) 655-1489

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Every Marriage Matters | 1005 Woodlawn Ave | Oregon City | OR | 97045

Webinars (Child Trends and partners)

Measuring outcomes for healthy marriage and relationship education

On Thursday, June 11th, from 3:30-4:30 p.m. ET, Child Trends and partners will present recommendations for measuring outcomes for healthy marriage and relationship education programs. These tips are for those collecting data about parents in complex families, and high-school-aged teens.

Healthy teen relationships
On Wednesday, June 10th, at 4:00 p.m. ET, learn why romantic relationships really are important for teens, and what determines the health of these relationships. Child Trends' Mindy Scott will address these and more at a webinar sponsored by the Dibble Institute.
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Child Trends | 7315 Wisconsin Avenue | Suite 1200W | Bethesda | MD | 20814

Fwd: Get Excited for the 2015 NARME Leadership Summit!

see the survey at the end...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) <julie@narme.org>
Date: Wed, Jun 3, 2015 at 12:04 PM
Subject: Get Excited for the 2015 NARME Leadership Summit!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

In This Issue
Get married before you have a child: The hard evidence
Ever since the cohabitation boom took off in the 1980s, people have become a lot more relaxed about whether or not it is best to marry before having children. Read More
U.S. Teen Trends In Sex, Bullying, Booze and More
The latest statistics on teenagers paint a rosy portrait of American teens. They're drinking, smoking and bullying less than they used to, and fewer are getting pregnant. Read More
Midlife Marriage: Love it, Leave it, Or Reinvent it

Can this marriage be saved?

As they hit midlife, Americans are rethinking just about every part of their lives these days- their careers, their locations, their appearances, their lifestyles and even their favorite pets (welcome back to No. 1, beagles).   Read More
About five years into marriage, Chris's wife, Laura, told him she was cheating on him with a neighbor across the street.  Read More 
Moving Out Costs More Than It Used To
Marital instability, as we've often noted in this space, is associated with higher rates of poverty among women and children..Read More
The Case for Merging Finances in Marriage

A recent Wall Street Journal article about how to plan finances as a couple when one spouse freelances recently captured my attention. The sub-header read, "When one income is steady and the other inconsistent, finances get tricky." Sounds familiar.   Read More

Retreat from Marriage could hurt the Economy

It's June -- the time of year when we're supposed to hear wedding bells. You know the drill; the invitations start pouring in and you find yourself scrambling to order gifts from registries and block off summer weekends to attend ceremonies and parties.Read More 

Twelve Days to the NARME Leadership Summit!

We love the enthusiasm!  You are already sharing your excitement and anticipation with us!  Where else do you find topics designed to enhance the work of your organization as well as give you new information and tools to help you both personally and professionally! The exciting line-up of plenary/workshop speakers AND the support and help with proposal writing and networking are going to make this a smart investment for you and your team!  Our goal is to have you leave inspired, renewed and eager to carry on the vital work you are doing! It is not too late to register!    


Click here to Register 


 While the Summit hotel is full, we still have room for you at the Leadership Summit so we have made sure there is a room for you very nearby!  


Click Here 


Remember, there are some fun surprises in store for you and the networking opportunities are invaluable to help you stretch and challenge your entire organization so make sure you are signed up for the networking event!  Sometimes we have people wait till the last minute to sign up for the networking event and then they are disappointed when there are not spaces available!  We don't want that to happen to you, so please be sure to sign up now! 


Join Us for Breakfast Monday Morning, June 15th for an Exclusive presentation of Grant Writing Tips!

Whether you are preparing to apply for local, state or federal grants such as the Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood grants,NARME wants to play a supportive role in the process...Join us for breakfast on Monday morning, June 15 from 8:00am - 9:30am for "Write and Review a Winning Proposal", an exclusive presentation on grant writing tips as well as how to objectively review your grant for the maximum score you want and need. Patty Howell, President of Healthy Relationships California  - the largest Healthy Marriage Grant recipient - will lead this session.  Breakfast is $15 per person (this is our cost) and can be as part of the conference. You can register for this session when you register for the conference.

Additionally, we encourage you to connect with others at the conference on Tuesday, June 16th during our lunch session to gain additional insight and ideas. Peer to peer collaboration is vital when writing a grant to ensure that your approach is clear and concise. These opportunities are priceless, especially if this is your first time to apply! Take advantage of this great opportunity today, and register at  www.narme.org

Join Us for a Night of Fun! 

You won't want to miss the FUN at the networking event at Main Event. This is a playground for grown-ups complete with dinner, bowling, multi-level ropes course, billiards, arcade games and laser tag! A great chance to not only network with new faces, reconnect with old, but also an opportunity to do some team building with your colleagues if you come as a group! The cost is $50 per person and $10 for transportation for those that need it. Register now at  www.narme.org

Webinars offered to Help you with your Proposal! 

The Office of Planning Research and Evaluation will be sponsoring some webinars on the evaluation component of the grants. Click here  to register.


Click here to view the webinar that the National Association of Relationship and Marriage Educators recorded with their insights.


Research on Traits of a Healthy Family- Your Help Requested  

Dear NARME Member:


I am Dr. Cheryl Robinson, Professor in Child and Family Studies in the School of Education at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga. I am conducting a research study to compare the findings of Delores Curran's 1980 study on the traits of a healthy family with what family professionals see as the traits of a healthy family today. Mrs. Curran, a journalist, distributed a survey to family professionals in 1980 asking that they choose from a list, the traits they considered most often contributed to making a healthy family. 


Her study was unique because she sent out 500 surveys and she received 551 back. Professionals were so enthusiastic about her study that they photocopied the survey and gave it to other professionals who had not received the original. I specifically want to look at what has and has not changed in regards to creating and maintaining a healthy family.


I am requesting your participation, which will involve thoughtfully completing the included survey and returning it to me via email by June 30, 2015.Your participation in this study is voluntary. If you choose not to participate or to withdraw from the study at anytime, there will be no penalty.


The results of the research study may be published, but your name will not be used. The surveys will be protected by maintaining them in a locked cabinet in the office of the principal investigator until the research is complete and then they will be destroyed. If you have any questions concerning the research study, or the confidentiality of the surveys, please call me at 423-425-1729 or e-mail me at cheryl-robinson@utc.edu.


This research has been approved by the UTC Institutional Review Board (IRB). If you have any questions concerning the UTC IRB policies or procedures or your rights as a human subject, please contact Dr. Bart Weathington, IRB Committee Chair, at (423) 425-4289 or email instrb@utc.edu.


Return of the questionnaire will be considered your consent to participate. Thank you.


Click Here to Take Survey 

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Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) |info@narme.org  | http://www.narme.org
P.O. Box 14946
Tallahassee, FL 32317

Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

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Fwd: June Marriage Monthly: All Love Bears Fruit, Do Fathers Matter? and more

Date: Tue, Jun 2, 2015 at 4:45 PM
Subject: June Marriage Monthly: All Love Bears Fruit, Do Fathers Matter? and more
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

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For Your Marriage

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marriage monthly
June 2015

Home   Dating & Engaged    Parenting & Family    For Every Marriage    About Catholic Marriage

World Meeting of Families

Chapter Six: All Love Bears Fruit

Chapter six of the World Meeting of Families catechesis reflects on the fruitfulness of marriage. Couples without the visible fruit of children can take comfort in the fact that bond of marriage itself and service to the community are expressions of marital fruitfulness.




Getting Married Catholic

Tips for Planning Your Catholic Wedding


Summertime means weddings! If you're preparing for marriage, or know someone who is, here's a handy list of tips for planning a beautiful, holy Catholic wedding.



Marriage in the News

Blocks to Millennial Marriages


Emily Macke explores a shift in attitudes about marriage, particularly those of young people (millennials), which seems to suggest that some people now think that society doesn't need marriage.



Pope Francis Corner   

On Family Life: "Please, Thank You, Forgive Me" 

 Pope Francis again emphasizes the three most important phrases for a happy family life.





Featured Blog 

From Vow 'Til Now: Common Courtesy of Love

Men, when was the last time you held the door open for your wife? Dennis reflects on how common courtesy and respect builds up his marriage.




Book of the Month

Do Fathers Matter? What Science Is Telling Us About The Parent We've Overlooked

by Paul Raeburn; reviewed by Sara Perla

Journalist Paul Raeburn answers a resounding, "Yes! Fathers matter." His book plumbs the fascinating science behind what makes fathers unique and important in their children's lives.


In This Issue
All Love Bears Fruit
Tips for Catholic Wedding Planning
Marriage in the News: Blocks to Millennial Marriages
Pope Francis: Three Key Phrases in a Family
Featured Blog: The Common Courtesy of Love
Book Review: Do Fathers Matter?
Marriage Tip of the Month
June 5, 2015:

"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." (Ecc. 4:12) Invite God into your marriage daily. Prayer can open up a third perspective when you're not sure what to do.



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Fwd: ACF Region VI Fatherhood, Healthy Relationship, Marriage and Family Self-Sufficiency Information

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: McDowell, Larry (ACF) <larry.mcdowell@acf.hhs.gov>
Date: Wed, May 27, 2015 at 1:55 PM
Subject: ACF Region VI Fatherhood, Healthy Relationship, Marriage and Family Self-Sufficiency Information
To: "McDowell, Larry (ACF)" <larry.mcdowell@acf.hhs.gov>


Logic Model Resources:


Fatherhood Research & Practice Network




Logic Modeling For Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood Programs (PDF - 495 KB)




The ‘Rise’ of Obama’s My Brother’s Keeper initiative



National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse Promising Practices




This information is being shared with you for your use as a resource and for informational purposes.  Links, such as these, are being provided to our community partners to help one better understand what strategies various organizations are using to nurture healthy relationships, families, fatherhood  and otherwise support the various ACF family self-sufficiency  initiatives.  Reference in this email to any specific commercial products, process, service, manufacturer, or company does not constitute its endorsement or recommendation by the U.S. Government, the Department of Health and Human Services, or the Administration for Children and Families (ACF). ACF is not responsible for the contents of any "off-site" web page referenced from this server or from private, third-party, pop-up, or browser-integrated software or applications.




FAIR USE NOTICE: This message may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We make such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of fatherhood, marriage, family, couples, divorce, legislation, family breakdown, etc. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner. For more information you can refer to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode17/usc_sec_17_00000107----000-.html






Larry D. McDowell                                        

Children and Families Program Specialist 

Office of Family Assistance/TANF Program                  

U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services

ACF Region VI Office

1301 Young St.; Room 945

Dallas, Texas 75202

Email: larry.mcdowell@acf.hhs.gov               

Telephone 214-767-7327