Fwd: Upcoming Mastering the Mysteries of Love Workshops for Couples

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Thu, Jul 30, 2015 at 8:01 PM
Subject: Upcoming Mastering the Mysteries of Love Workshops for Couples
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Please come, or pass this along to others!

Also, please send this out to any list serves you may be on.

Mastering the Mysteries of Love

Weekend Workshops for Couples

The National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® is offering the Mastering the Mysteries of Love version of the Relationship Enhancement® Program for couples in addition to the classic version of the RE Program.

Upcoming dates:

  • September 12-13, 2015 - Mastering the Mysteries of Love, with Carrie Hansen, LCSW-C 
  • November 21-22 2015 - Mastering the Mysteries of Love, with Rob Scuka, Ph.D.

Workshops are held in Bethesda, MD.

Cost is $450 per couple.

Further information can be found at www.nire.org.

Research: The RE Program and Mastering the Mysteries of Love are backed by 35 years of empirical research validating its effectiveness. In addition, an award-winning meta-analytic study involving thousands of couples and over a dozen approaches, demonstrated that RE clients showed far more powerful improvement effects than clients in any of the other interventions for couples or families with which it was compared.

Description: Couples spend two days learning 10 practical skills that deepen connection and empower them to resolve current and future problems on their own.

The skills you and your partner learn will help you:

  • establish a constructive, cooperative atmosphere for resolving difficult relationship issues
  • foster increased openness and trust
  • reduce defensiveness, anger and withdrawal
  • express your deepest feelings, concerns and desires openly, honestly and safely
  • nurture deepened caring and compassion
  • increase love and affection
  • create solutions to conflicts at their deepest levels
  • successfully implement agreed-to solutions and behavioral changes

The weekend program usually numbers between 4-10 couples in order to maintain a more intimate atmosphere. It also features significant time for private couples' exercises and dialogues, which part of the time are facilitated by trained coaches.

The program is non-residential and meets on Saturday from 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. and on Sunday from 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Information on discounted hotel room rates for those visiting from out of town are available upon registration. Snacks and beverages are provided; participants have lunch on their own.

For further information, please call NIRE at 301-680-8977 or send an email to: niremd@nire.org

To Register, you have three options.

1. You may register on-line at www.nire.org

2. You may register by fax. Registrations by fax should be faxed to 502-226-7088 and must be accompanied by a credit card number. Please write your name exactly as it appears on the credit card, the expiration date and your signature. Also provide the address associated with the credit card number, a cell phone number by which you can be reached, and the dates for which you are registering.

3. You may register by mail. If you register by mail, please include your name, address, home and cell phone numbers, and the dates for which you are registering.

Payment may be made either by check or credit card. 

If paying by credit card, please provide a credit card number. Please write your name exactly as it appears on the credit card, the expiration date and your signature. Also provide the address associated with the credit card number.

Registrations by mail should be mailed to:

4400 East-West Highway #24
Bethesda, MD 20814

Please note: It is not safe to send credit card information via email.

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Fwd: Internship/Job Opportunity - Work on the New Evangelization!

pass it on...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Trinity House Cafe <info@trinityhousecafe.com>
Date: Wed, Jul 29, 2015 at 2:25 PM
Subject: Internship/Job Opportunity - Work on the New Evangelization!
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

Starting September 2015!

Trinity House Fellows Program

Trinity House Cafe
New Springtime
St. John's Parish
TRINITY HOUSE CAFE is hiring high school graduates, college students, or young adults who would like to join our Fellows Program and find out what it's like to work in the New Evangelization! Owned by the John Paul II Fellowship, a non-profit dedicated to renewing community and culture, Trinity House Cafe is our outreach in the public square. Located in Leesburg, Virginia, we are a new model for the New Evangelization.

Our FELLOWS PROGRAM is a year-long, partially-paid internship for those looking to gain experience in the New Evangelization. High school graduates, college students, or young adults are invited to apply now to start the program in September 2015. The program has several aspects including:

* FORMATION - Fellows will be trained and formed in the ways of the New Evangelization. With the local Catholic parish being three blocks away, many spiritual goods will be offered like daily mass, holy hour, confession, bible studies, etc.

LIVING IN COMMUNITY - Each Fellow will be provided free housing by living with a family or individual member of the local parish community. Fellows will help Christian families follow the model of Trinity House, making their own domestic churches into "Trinity Houses" for the whole neighborhood.

SERVICE IN THE NEW EVANGELIZATION - Fellows will be partaking in the New Evangelization in two ways:

Cafe Work: At Trinity House Cafe, the New Evangelization is based on hospitality and service. Fellows will be trained to spend about 15 paid hours per week providing a warm welcome to our hungry guests, making coffee and tea drinks and simple meals, and bussing tables and washing dishes in service to our guests and their fellow staff.  Through the cafe work, Fellows will learn that humble service is the basis for building a healthy community and culture.

Non-Profit Work: Trinity House Fellows will spend about 15 unpaid hours a week working for the non-profit John Paul II Fellowship which owns Trinity House Cafe. Fellows will learn a wide range of skills from creating, managing, and running workshops and events, to marketing, fundraising, and working with local businesses and groups. Fellows will learn how to work with youth and families in the parish to engage the laity in renewing community and culture. Trinity House events promote spiritual formation, learning, the arts, music, and other cultural activities.

For more information, please see www.trinityhousecafe.com. To apply, please send a letter of interest and your resume to Brendan Keane, Fellows Program Manager, at bkeane@masonlive.gmu.edu.


Our mailing address is:
Trinity House Cafe
101 E Market St
Leesburg, VA 20176

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Fwd: People For Others

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From: People for Others <noreply+feedproxy@google.com>
Date: Thu, Jul 23, 2015 at 8:16 AM
Subject: People For Others
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

People For Others

Thursdays with Thibodeaux – 3

Posted: 22 Jul 2015 09:00 PM PDT


The first Examen that Mark proposes is the Traditional Ignatian Examen.

St. Ignatius himself recommends these five steps: Relish the good, Request the Spirit, Review the day, Repent from any wrongdoing, and Resolve to live well tomorrow.

1. I begin in my usual way. [If you need help, see here]

2. First, I relish. I ask God to reveal to me all the gifts and graces he has given me this day, from the really big ones (my life, safety, love) to the really small ones (a good night’s sleep, an affirming phone call from a friend, a task completed, a compliment paid to me). For each gift that comes to mind, I spend a moment giving thanks and praise.

3. Second, I request. Knowing that I need God’s help to see my darker side realistically but from the perspective of God’s merciful love, I ask God to fill me with his Spirit. I ask God to be the leader and initiator of this prayer time, rather than letting me make it an obsessive brooding over the things I don’t like about myself.

4. Third, I review. Going hour by hour, I review my day In my imagination, I relive each significant moment of my day. I linger at the important moments, and I pass quickly through the less relevant ones.

5. Fourth, I repent. As I review my days I continue thanking God for all the gifts that I find in it. But now, I pause at any of the difficult moments of the day—when I had a bad thought, said something I shouldn’t have, or did something inappropriate. I also pay attention to any missed opportunities, such as when I could have acted in a more Christian manner but didn’t. When I find moments in which I was not fully the person I’m called to be, I stop and ask forgiveness from God. I try to sense his healing mercy washing over me, making me clean and whole.

6. Fifth, I resolve. With what I have learned during this prayer time about myself and my life, I ask God to show me, concretely, how he wants me to respond or what he wants me to do tomorrow. Perhaps more important, I ask God to show me what kind of person God is calling me to be tomorrow. I resolve to be that person. I might even make some sort of commitment to that effect. I ask God for the help to be the person I’m called to be.

7. I end in my usual way. [If you need help, see here]

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Fwd: [New Post] Why I Like to Fight with My Wife

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: UnTangled <drkellyflanagan@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Jul 22, 2015 at 6:04 AM
Subject: [New Post] Why I Like to Fight with My Wife
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>

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Why I Like to Fight with My Wife

By Dr. Kelly Flanagan on Jul 22, 2015 03:00 am
Read this post on DrKellyFlanagan.com 

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A healthy marriage should look a lot like the Stanley Cup Finals. This is what I mean by that…

marital conflict

Photo Credit: clydeorama via Compfight cc

Last month, as my oldest son and I watched the Chicago Blackhawks win game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals, he pointed out something a little startling during the post-game on-ice celebration. In the 1990s, when it was the Bulls bringing championships to Chicago, at the final buzzer, their defeated opponent would immediately sprint for the locker room, hiding from the victors and their joy.

But last month, the defeated Tampa Bay Lightning did no such thing.

They waited patiently, for many minutes, as the Blackhawks celebrated together. Then, both sets of men lined up, as they’ve been doing since they were little boys, and they slowly moved past each other, giving handshakes and hugs and warm words of affirmation.

Although the teams had been in conflict for seven very intense games, there was a palpable sense of unity, as if both teams were part of something bigger than a contest, part of a great tradition called hockey, part of a mutual admiration for each other and a mutual respect for a game they are all indebted to. As I watched, I knew the post-game handshake was revealing something essential about conflict:

Conflict isn’t meant to be won; it’s meant to make us one.

Don’t Do Away With Conflict; Do Away With This

My goal as a marital therapist is not to help couples stop fighting. Conflict itself isn’t toxic to relationships. The elephant in the room is. The unspoken thing. The thing we avoid because we think the thing to avoid is conflict. Conflict is essential to relationships, and it’s essential to marriage.

My goal as a marital therapist is to help couples fight without ego.

Because it is the ego within our conflict that makes it destructive rather than redemptive, wounding instead of healing, brutal instead of beautiful. The ego is the presence within us that says the other side is always wrong, losing is always bad, and we must win at all costs. It’s what makes it hard for me to admit I’ve made a mistake. It’s why I bristle at legitimate criticism.

It makes conflict a minefield for my opponent, er, wife.

For years, I didn’t know conflict could happen without ego, so I assumed the only sane thing to do was to avoid conflict altogether. I’m not alone. The majority of couples I see in therapy don’t come in because they’ve been fighting like cats and dogs. They come in because they’ve been fighting like ships in the night, which is to say, not at all, passing by each other in silence, never addressing the real differences and divisions in their relationship.

But once the ego dissolves a bit and conflict is waged in the language of our lovely souls, you realize conflict is essential to intimacy and harmony and the very fiber of caring and commitment and community. Which is why, now, I tell couples if you want to save your marriage, don’t silence your conflict, silence your ego.

Leave Us In Peace to Fight

There’s an ancient Jewish parable that goes something like this:

Two rabbis have been arguing over the same verse in the Torah for more than two decades. Every afternoon, they retire to a nearby park and resume the debate. Finally, one afternoon, God becomes so annoyed by the endless discussion that he parts the clouds and a great booming voice declares from the sky, “I will tell you what the verse means.” The rabbis look at each other and then turn toward the voice, thundering back in unison, “Why would you end our conversation? Leave us in peace to debate it!” The clouds close and God returns to the heavens, pleased, I think, that the rabbis have embraced the true purpose of conflict.

Conflict need not drive us apart; in fact, it is meant to bring us together.

When Warring Becomes One-ing

Somewhere at the center of each of us is a soul that doesn’t fight fair.

It fights even better than fair.

It fights with a fierce love. Like two rabbis, it goes to the park every afternoon for conflict that feels more like communion. Like two hockey teams, it lines up at the end of the contest for handshakes and hugs. It fights with its arms so wide open it makes space for all people to come together. If it fights for anything, it’s to make the world a more beautiful place.

Conflict in marriage will never disappear. Nor should it. But extract the ego from it, and you are left with two people, dedicating their lives to wrestling out this one fleeting existence together. And then, at the end of the day, lining up for healing hugs and warm words. This might even be the purpose of marriage: a training ground for fighting with our souls rather than our egos.

In this sense, the world desperately needs the institution of marriage.

The Jewish word for peace is shalom. It means wholeness and harmony. But shalom is not what happens when conflict is finally settled; shalom is what happens in the midst of conflict, when egos fade and the struggle becomes something that forms two into one. Shalom is what happens when our warring becomes a kind of one-ing. In our marriages. And in our world.

That’s why marriage should look like the Stanley Cup Finals.

And that’s why I like to fight with my wife.

You can leave a comment by clicking here.


Next Post: Dear Parent, Cut Yourself Some Slack

Free eBook: My eBook, The Marriage Manifesto: Turning Your World Upside Down, is available free to new blog subscribers. If you are not yet a subscriber, you can click here to subscribe, and your confirmation e-mail will include a link to download the eBook. Or, the book is also now available for Kindle and Nook

Disclaimer: My writings represent a combination of my own personal opinions and my professional experiences, but they do not reflect professional advice. Interaction with me via the blog does not constitute a professional therapeutic relationship. For professional and customized advice, you should seek the services of a counselor who can dedicate the hours necessary to become more intimately familiar with your specific situation. I do not assume liability for any portion or content of material on the blog and accept no liability for damage or injury resulting from your decision to interact with the website.

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Fwd: Tip of the Month - Your Third Ear l July 2015

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The Family Institute at Northwestern University <tips@family-institute.org>
Date: Wed, Jul 22, 2015 at 10:43 AM
Subject: Tip of the Month - Your Third Ear l July 2015
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com

JULY 2015

Your Third Ear


You're at a party. Alcohol is flowing. After a half-hour chatting with others, you spot your partner across the room and meander over. Almost instantly, she complains that you've abandoned her. Her tone is surprisingly harsh. Do you hear the likely sound of alcohol influencing what she's saying, and making it impossible -- you know this from experience -- to have a productive conversation?


You're fixing dinner when your partner comes home. Immediately you sense his tenseness. Your greeting receives a short, curt reply. He asks if you've brought in the mail, then quickly turns away. Do you hear the likely sound of a rough day, or maybe bad commute traffic, coloring his words and tone?


The two of you are debating a decision that needs resolution by the end of the week. The conversation has deteriorated; you're both frustrated and tired. Your partner erupts with hurtful words of criticism and anger. Do you hear the sound of her emotional brain hijacking her logical brain? (see Two Brains)


We all have a Third Ear, but we don't always use it. The Third Ear hears beyond the surface words to a spouse's underlying mood or emotions. With our Third Ear we're like an audience listening while staying in our seats, never climbing onto the stage to join the drama. While hearing something potentially button-pushing, the Third Ear's signal reminds us to refrain from taking the bait ... and to aim for Being Smart instead of Being Right (see Right Versus Smart).


Here's what listening with the Third Ear might lead us to say in the examples above:

  1. Let's talk about this in the morning. For now, I'll stay by your side.
  2. Do I detect difficult feelings right now? Talk to me, tell me what's going on.
  3. We're both worked up right now. Let's take a break and continue the conversation after we've calmed down.

To listen with our Third Ear, we need to control our own emotional reactivity, our tendency to get quickly hooked by our partner's words or tone. That can only be done by moving slowly, as it takes the Third Ear -- compared to our customary hearing -- a bit more time to "hear" what's going on. In the next Couples Tip of the Month, we'll tackle the question of how to slow ourselves down.

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