Marriage Monthly: Making I Do Work, Marriage In The News

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From: USCCB <>
Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 11:29 AM
Subject: Marriage Monthly: Making I Do Work, Marriage In The News

For Your Marriage  
marriage monthly
AUGUST 2011  

Home   Dating & Engaged    Parenting & Family    For Every Marriage    About Catholic Marriages

Featured Article: Making "I Do" Work 
Making I Do work
Most people love weddings, especially that moment when the beaming couple says, "for better or worse...". Of course they don't have a clue what that means says, Mary Jo Pedersen. How do couples grow into a marriage?

Blog:  Learning to Say "I Do" 

Newlyweds Justin and Sara have just made their first major purchase. Follow our couple as they settle into married life.

READ ON >>   



Blog:  Happily Even After  
Noem family

Would you like to have lunch with your childhood hero? Josh did, and with some other notable guests as well. He talks about the power lunch of a lifetime.


Marriage In The News  First-Ever Marriage Summit

wedding ringsEarlier this month representatives of national Catholic organizations gathered for the first-ever Summit on Marriage. In his keynote, Bishop Kevin Rhoades described four cornerstones that are essential for a "marriage-building" church.



Marriage Tip of the Month
August 16
Reader's Tip: Giving my spouse a "thank you" or a few words of appreciation before we fall asleep always gives me a moment to reflect on the blessing of having my spouse that day.


Catholic 101 
Check out these weekly summaries of Catholic beliefs and teachings.

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Special Offer on Casebook of Filial Therapy

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From: <>
Date: Wed, Aug 17, 2011 at 1:00 PM
Subject: Special Offer on Casebook of Filial Therapy

Special Offer

Casebook of Filial Therapy

Edited by Rise van Fleet, Ph.D. and Louise Guerney, Ph.D.

This 24-chapter, 452 page volume provides clinicians with detailed, practical information about applying filial therapy to a wide range of problems and situations. Notable experts in the field have contributed chapters on such applications as the use of filial therapy with adolescent parents, kinship care, children with ADHD, single parents, adoptive/foster families, Head Start, attachment problems, in school settings, domestic violence, chronic illness, multicultural applications, family reunification, and much more! Each chapter contains details and case studies illustrating the use of filial therapy with a specific population or in a particular setting.

Foreword by Dr. Bernard Guerney, co-founder of Filial Therapy.

Normally this book sells for $75.00.

You can order it now, while supplies last, for the special price of $50.00, s/h included.

To order:

Place you order by:

Order Form:

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Name exactly as it appears on your card:


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Power Up the Passion

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From: <>
Date: Wed, Aug 17, 2011 at 5:10 PM
Subject: Power Up the Passion




Milwaukee Relationship Answers

Is Pleased To Host

As They Present:


Power Up the Passion

Couples Event

Friday Night and Saturday, Aug. 26th-27th

Sleep Inn & Suites

4600 South 6th Street, Milwaukee, WI 53221

Join us for a powerful workshop to strengthen your marriage


About the presentation:

Researchers have found that the sharing of household chores is the third most important factor in a successful marriage!

Yet in our time-strapped world, many couples find that juggling all the roles and responsibilities can leave little time for "Us". And as individuals we also view time very differently! Are you stuck in the past, or always planning the next thing, struggling to really enjoy life in the moment?

As one of our most popular presentations, "Loving Every Minute with You" examines the emotional connection couples have in handling roles and responsibilities, and the way we look at time; identifies the most common roadblocks; and provides a valuable roadmap on how to:

  • Communicate more constructively
  • Reduce conflict & increase understanding
  • Work as partners toward more productive, mutually-agreeable solutions

And find more time to spend together!

These workshops are normally offered
at $179
but for this special event we are
offering it to you for


Per Couple

Remember space is limited, so click HERE to register today

Please Note : You will be redirected to to complete your registration.

Or for more information call
(414) 243-0207

or email



Any opinions, findings and conclusions are those of the author (s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of
the US Dept. of Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.




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Help Stop the Divorce Epidemic

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From: Divorce Reform <>
Date: Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 12:45 PM
Subject: Help Stop the Divorce Epidemic
To: Bill <>

1 Dear Bill,
  • How important is marriage at the time of death?
  • Should Americans support a contest that awards $25,000 towards your marriage or your divorce?
  • How can married couples on the brink avoid divorce?
  • Do you realize that it is never too late to save a marriage?
  • Why is traditional marriage disappearing in America?
These and other issues are discussed in the latest blogs at The first paragraphs of each of these blogs by nationally recognized marriage experts are found below.

We hope you will find them interesting and consider forwarding them to your friends and acquaintances. The Coalition for Divorce Reform is not only posting articles on our website. We have launched a national campaign to reform our divorce reform laws---the most lenient divorce laws in the world.

The Coalition for Divorce Reform has identified leaders in more than a dozen states dedicated to passing the Parental Divorce Reduction Act to protect the million children a year who are victims of divorce.

But our only chance of passing this ground-breaking legislation is through the development of a large grassroots effort which depends on social networking in order to get the word out.

Here's how you can help:

  • Post our blogs to your own Facebook page.
  • "Like" our Facebook page!/pages/Coalition-For-Divorce-Reform/175335009188866
  • Tweet articles to your followers -- our new Twitter button at the end of each article lets you tweet quickly with just one click.
  • If not a Facebook member, like many of our other members, you can forward our newsletter to a group of your friends and acquaintances by e-mail.
  • Finally, consider lending your time -- a lot or a little-- by joining our new CDR Community Page and letting us know how you can help by clicking the link "How Can I Help" on our home page.

Thank you for helping build the first national movement for divorce reform.

Chris Gersten

Beverly Willett
Vice Chair

Coalition for Divorce Reform

The Importance of Marriage at the Time of Death
My oldest son’s father-in-law passed away recently after a battle with bone cancer and MS. We rarely hear about how important it is for all of the members of a family that their parents are still married during the most painful time in life, the slow deterioration that accompanies a life-ending illness. How much less painful to know you will face your final days with your family by your side? How much comfort does the surviving spouse receive when children travel long distances to provide comfort to both parents? Read more 

Couple Divorces Over Mayonnaise Feud: Fact or Fiction?
Kraft, the purveyor of the cousin of mayonnaise, just announced a contest entitled “Not for Every Relationship.”  Entrants must submit 60-second videos answering the question “How Has Miracle Whip Affected Your Relationship?”  The $25,000 grand prize winner can use the proceeds for a marriage – or a divorce.  read more  

Avoiding Divorce & Recovering From It
Written by MIKE McMANUS
In the 1980s Steve Grissom experienced a divorce he did not want. He was shattered.  He was buffeted between lawyers and courts, attorneys charging huge fees. The impact on his… read more  

It’s Never Too Late to Save Your Marriage
When marriages teeter on the brink of divorce, it’s very easy to feel defeated and even consider throwing in the towel.  This is particularly true if one spouse seems resolute…read more at

“My Way or the Highway” Doesn’t “Get the Job Done”
For too many Americans, traditional marriage is passé. The marriage rate today is well under half of what it was in 1969. Consequently, the number of persons not living in… read more 

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New edition of Why Marriage Matters is out today

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: David Lapp <>
Date: Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 1:01 PM
Subject: New edition of Why Marriage Matters is out today
To: Bill Coffin <>

Hi Bill,


As I believe you know, today we are releasing the third edition of Why Marriage Matters. See this link for the executive summary and ordering information.


NPR ran a story on it this morning, which you can see here.


Hope all is well with you and yours!





David Lapp

Institute for American Values    



Study: Are Cohabiting Parents Bad For Kids?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Kay Reed <>
Date: Tue, Aug 16, 2011 at 1:05 PM
Subject: Fwd: Study: Are Cohabiting Parents Bad For Kids?
To: Diane Sollee <>, Bill Coffin <>, Patty Howell <>

Friends - 

If you put this out to your networks, you might mention that Dibble programs, based on the Institute for American Values and National Marriage Project, address this topic with young people. Check out Why Buy the Cow (on the myths and facts of cohabitation) and What's Reel (a movie based approach to the myths and facts of marriage). 



Begin forwarded message:

From: Kay Reed <>
Date: August 16, 2011 8:01:17 AM PDT
Subject: Study: Are Cohabiting Parents Bad For Kids?

I found the following story on the NPR iPhone App:

Study: Are Cohabiting Parents Bad For Kids?
by Jennifer Ludden

- August 16, 2011

As more and more U.S. couples decide to have children without first getting married, a group of 18 family scholars is sounding an alarm about the impact this may have on those children.

In a new report out on Tuesday, they say research shows the children of cohabiting parents are at risk for a broad range of problems, from trouble in school to psychological stress, physical abuse and poverty.

The study is put out by the National Marriage Project and the Institute for American Values, groups whose missions include strengthening marriage and family life. It suggests a shift in focus is needed away from the children of divorce, which has long been a preoccupying concern for such scholars.

Brad Wilcox, a report co-author and head of the National Marriage Project, says divorce rates have steadily dropped since their peak in 1979-80, while rates of out-of-wedlock childbearing have soared. Forty-one percent of all births are now to unwed mothers, many of them living with — but not married to — the child's father.

Wilcox notes that the iconic 1979 movie of the divorce revolution, Kramer vs. Kramer, is no longer emblematic of the drama facing families today.

"It'd be Kramer vs. Kramer vs. Johnson and Nelson," he says with a small laugh. "We're moving into a pattern where we're seeing more instability, more adults moving in and out of the household in this relationship carousel."

Wilcox says the children of the divorce revolution grew up to be understandably gun-shy about marriage. Many are putting it off, even after they have kids. But research shows such couples are twice as likely to split.

"Ironically," he says, "they're likely to experience even more instability than they would [have] if they had taken the time and effort to move forward slowly and get married before starting a family."

In fact, another recent study finds that a quarter of American women with multiple children conceived them with more than one man. Psychologist John Gottman, a co-author of Tuesday's report, says that kind of instability can have a negative impact on kids in all kinds of ways.

"Both in externalizing disorders, more aggression," Gottman says, "and internalizing disorders, more depression. Children of cohabiting couples are at greater risk than children of married couples."

This is true, says marriage historian Stephanie Coontz, "but the question is why it's true."

Coontz teaches family studies at Evergreen State College in Washington state and is research director for the Council on Contemporary Families. She says people are more likely to get married if they have the things that make a union strong: mutual respect, problem-solving skills and — especially — economic security.

That's something many working-class men have lost as wages stagnated in recent decades. In fact, Coontz notes that a huge marriage gap has emerged, with lower-income Americans much less likely to wed.

"Cohabitation and out-of-wedlock childbearing is as much a symptom of the instability of children's lives as it is a cause of it," Coontz says. Coontz worries that too many Americans who break up with a partner rush into another relationship, thinking this will provide more stability for their children. As Tuesday's report notes, the appearance of a new caregiver can also be traumatic for children, many of whom appear to fare better with a loving single parent.

To be sure, not all marriages are good, and some cohabiting couples create perfectly healthy families. But psychologist Gottman says for whatever reason — and it's a mystery to researchers — cohabiting partners are not as stable in the U.S. as in some European countries, where family-building outside marriage is more of a norm.

For Americans, Gottman says the evidence for marriage is strong. The institution's wide-ranging benefits — better health, longevity, greater wealth — are not conferred on those who cohabit.

"Because," he says, "they're basically saying, 'If you get into trouble, baby, you're on your own; I'm not there for you.' I think that's the big problem."

Gottman's advice, even if you decide not to tie the knot: pick a partner carefully, then hang in there — for better, or worse. [Copyright 2011 National Public Radio]

To learn more about the NPR iPhone app, go to