Fwd: Attend Marriage Encounter to Build a Lasting Marriage - Ethics & Religion Col.


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2016 at 9:46 AM
Subject: Attend Marriage Encounter to Build a Lasting Marriage - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,827
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>


Editors: This is a particularly important column, suggesting that all married couples attend a Marriage Encounter weekend retreat.  I tell our personal story of attending one after ten years of marriage – with rather embarrassing details about my ignorance of major flaws in our marriage. More than 3 million couples have revived their marriage by  attending. A colleague, Marco Ciavolino, found the perfect illustration for it, and added an email contact.  If you are interested in a one-shot publication of my column, call me at 301-978-7105.

 

Mike

 

Ethics & Religion
September 1, 2016
Column #1,827
Attend Marriage Encounter to Build a Lasting Marriage
By Mike McManus

 

Men are generally not as religious as women. But this is a mistake that can be rectified. If he asks her to go to church, she will be impressed. A man open to God is a man who can win over a woman who is more apt to be a believer. 

Why is this so? A study of the 2006 National Survey of Religion and Family Life, found that church-going was a positive for relationships. Couples who attend church are happier - 11% more apt to report they were "very happy" or "extremely happy," compared with non-attenders. Couples who pray together are 17% more likely to report marital satisfaction. 

I did not know that in the first decade of our marriage. We went to church weekly from the beginning, and I was very happy in the marriage. But by Year 10 Harriet was not. I did not know this until we went to a Marriage Encounter, an intensive weekend retreat that has been attended by 3 million couples. 

Several couples at church encouraged us to go to Marriage Encounter. I asked, "What is it?" They were rather mysterious about it, only saying that it "will strengthen your marriage." 

I replied, "I already have a good marriage." 

"But Marriage Encounter is designed to make a good marriage better. It is not aimed at the troubled marriage," I was told. When I asked for details on what happens, one man replied, "I can't reveal details, but it was the best thing my wife and I ever did together." 

That sounded good enough to me, though the mystery was annoying. However, when I suggested to Harriet that we go, she was cold and firm: "No." Why? "We can't just leave. We have three small children." 

When one of the couples encouraging us to go again approached us, I replied, "We have three boys at home." They replied, "That's no problem. Some of us would be glad to take care of them."

Harriet countered, "But we can't afford a weekend at a motel." Our friends responded, "You don't understand. You way has already been paid. People here love you enough to make it possible for you to go."

Wow! That impressed me. "Come on, Harriet, let's go." She relented. 

Some background on our situation. We lived in Connecticut so I could produce a series of TV programs on 18 New York TV stations framing choices on how to reduce poverty, for example. We also gave people a way to "ballot" on the choices, and 133,000 ballots were mailed in. One result was passage of the Earned Income Tax Credit subsidizing poor families.

I wanted to create American Town Meetings involving network TV, TIME and newspapers. I found federal funding to explore the possibility, but had to work in Washington. For a year I got on a 2 am Monday train and got home at 11 pm Friday.

At Marriage Encounter, three couples shared their marriage struggles. Their key message was that "Emotions must be expressed - not repressed. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. However, you can't expect your spouse to know them unless you share them."

We were then asked to write a "love letter" to each other on assigned topics, and then to speak with each other in private. One topic was to share something that "I have wanted to share with you that I couldn't or didn't share." Harriet wrote, "You left me for over a year. I felt deserted."

I was shocked. In our conversation afterward, she added, "This is no marriage! I never saw you during the week, and when you came home, you would fall asleep. You are not a husband and are not a father!"

Stunned, I asked, "What do you mean?" 

"Now you come home every night, but you have no time for me and the kids. You work all weekend. I asked you on Sunday to take the kids for a swim and you said, `I have to write.' You always have to write. You love your career more than me and the children!"

I broke down and cried. I was so absorbed by the difficulty of my life I had no idea of its impact on Harriet and the kids. I asked for her forgiveness and resolved to change.

We began getting up early to read Scripture daily and pray. We learned to put Christ at the center of our marriage.

Today we have an imperfect but healthy marriage that has thrived for over 50 years.

_____________________________________

Marriage Encounter World Wide:  http://www.wwme.org
_____________________________________
Copyright (c) 2016 Michel J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist. For previous columns go towww.ethicsandreligion.org. Hit Search for any topic.
 

 

 

****************************************

Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-978-7105

 

Fwd: Watching a Marriage Fall Apart is Like Watching Someone's Home Burn

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Redeeming Marriages with Jack and Janet <jackandjanet@redeemingmarriages.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 1, 2016, 6:27 AM
Subject: Watching a Marriage Fall Apart is Like Watching Someone's Home Burn
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Hope For Your Marriage With God's Redeeming Grace View this email in your browser
A Message from Redeeming Marriages
View this email in your browser
 
We apologies for not posting consistently as we said we would. We are still working to make the improvements we need to make. A couple of reason we haven't been consistent is. First, our own relationship always comes first. So here lately we have needed some extra time to help each other get through some family trials. And secondly, we have a two year old grandson that has been stealing a lot of our attention the past two years. Not making excuses, just letting you know what's been up with us. Thanks again for being with us. We really do want to offer you the best support we can. 

By the way. Many of the responses to our survey said you would like more personal support through email. Please feel free to reach out to us. We care a lot about what you're going through and we want to help as best as we can. Hopefully coming soon we can connect over Skype or phone for those who are interested. 

This weeks post is:

Watching a Marriage Fall Apart is Like Watching Someone's Home Burn



Marriage ministry means a lot to us. We love helping couples build strong marriages. And we love helping hurting couples restore their marriages. But sometimes couples won't let us help. Then when we watch a marriage fall apart it reminds me of a time I watched a family's home burn to the ground.
 
watching marriage fall apart
 
I was a teenager at the time. My family and I were driving down the highway, almost home, when up ahead of we saw the flashing red lights of fire trucks. As we slowed down approaching the scene we could see a house was on fire.

We pulled off the road and tried to make sense out of what we were seeing. Because the fire department on the scene was doing nothing to put the fire out. It didn't look like a control burn because we could see the people were begging the firemen to do something.
 
We then got out of the car and moved in closer. After asking questions, we learned the fire department was just watching because they were out of their jurisdiction. They were from the near by county, a few miles down the road. They arrived on the scene first. But they could not do anything until the local department arrived.
 
There they were fully equipped and ready to put the fire out. But instead, they had to stand there and watch the home burn until the other firemen arrived. By the time the local units arrived it was too late. The home was gone.
 
That was a sad thing to watch. And just like the firemen that had to watch that home burn, too many times we have had to stand by and watch someone's marriage end.

With open arms we have been in position to help. We have taken the initiative to reach out to hurting couples. We have experience and understanding on how to overcome difficult marriage issues. And God has given us the grace to work in an arena where many ministers try to avoid.

Yet we still find ourselves in the agonizing position of simply watching as couples choose to give up or they continue with destructive behavior that eventually brings the marriage down.

Every marriage is different with unique dynamics and what we have experienced may not match what others are going through. And marriage is a private matter between a man and woman and very often couples are reluctant to reach out for help.

But there are times when a marriage falls apart simply because couples don't know who or where they can go to for help. Then there are times couples fight so hard over whose fault it is they're unaware of the danger they're in. Then they loose all hope, because the trouble has gone too far.

I'm saying all this for two reasons.

  • First, for anyone who is aware that someone around you is having marriage problems, DO SOMETHING. I'm not saying stick your nose into other people's business. Nor am I saying become somebody's marriage counselor.
But you can tell them about resources that are available. You can put a book in their hands or offer to mentor them. You can recommend to them a marriage class. Let them know about a local pastor or ministry that helps with marriages.
 
Tell them about a marriage conference or retreat. Refer them to web sites such as www.focusonthefamily.com, www.familylife.com, or one of the great marriage blogs at www.upliftingmarriage.com. And of course you could send them here to us and tell them to contact us.

Whatever you do, just don't stand by and watch someone's marriage fall apart.

  • Second, for anyone who's marriage is in a difficult place. Don't be too embarrassed to ask for help. There are people like us who have been where you are. And we have all given our lives to help other marriages.

If you don't know where to turn, start in your local church or community. Reach out to us. Or, go to the web sites I have mentioned above. There is help out there and you just have to be persistent at reaching out for it.
 
Also don't turn to people who are not equipped and capable of helping. Your marriage is too important to just listen to the advice of friends or family with good intentions.
 
Finally, don't over look your problems and think it will somehow work itself out. You might be smelling the smoke of something more serious. The last thing you want is to look back at this time and wonder why you just stood there and watched your marriage fall apart.

Just like that night when I was a teenager, it is a sad scene when families are standing by watching their home burn down to the ground. Their hard work, their memories, their hopes for the future, and their place of belonging and security all gone in one cruel event.
 
And even more tragic is the scene of a marriage and family destroyed with no hope of rebuilding. Simply because no one knew how to prevent the fire or how to put it out once it started. In today's age of information there is no reason for couples to not get the help they need to keep their marriage from falling apart.
 

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Fwd: Saturday Reads: A Sneaky Trap


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Stu and Lisa Gray <onair@stupendousmarriage.com>
Date: Sat, Aug 27, 2016 at 9:35 AM
Subject: Saturday Reads: A Sneaky Trap
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Show up! How to be a Family man and more...



Bill, ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​


We have been hit by ragweed allergies in our house. Anybody else have the sore throats, sniffling, cough, drainage, etc?? Going on? Ugh!


It's knocked me for a loop and caused our son to miss a couple days of school already. (within the first two weeks of school. Oy!!)


Anyway, while you are enjoying these links, I'll be loading up on Ricola cough drops and Zyrtec...


----------

I thought this was a good article on the subject of supporting your spouse while they lose weight


For our friends who aren't married yet, here are 10 things you should know about before getting married! (Number 9 was a learning experience for us.)


Show up. That is good friendship advice, and marriage advice. That article made me think of this one: Always go the funeral.


The One Sneaky Trap That Will Kill Your Marriage. This was a great eye opener and so easy to do if you don't think about it.


What does it take to be a family man? This is a challenging list for us men.


What if our faith actually caused us to live differently and caused others to be attracted to Christ because of the way we behaved? This was a powerful article that I saw this week. 





Read any good articles about marriage this week? Send them my way, and I'll pass them along to encourage others!!


Stu Gray

StupendousMarriage.com

stupnd.us

onair@stupendousmarriage.com

You can share Stupendous Marriage with your friends--> Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon
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"Free 229 Conversation Starters for Married Couples"
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Unsubscribe | Change Subscriber Options

Candidates for Friday Five

1. 
F
amily Strengthening Scholars

HHS-2017-ACF-OPRE-PD-1209

​​
http://www.grants.gov/web/grants/search-grants.html





2. CANADIAN MILLENNIALS AND THE VALUE OF MARRIAGE

Peter Jon Mitchell


https://www.cardus.ca/research/family/publications/





3. Couples Relationship Education Program Evaluation Project

http://www.alabamamarriage.org/

http://www.alabamamarriage.org/documents/lee-county-flyer-2016.pdf






4. 12 Tips to Help Your Board Members Raise Funds

 Christopher A. Brown

http://www.fatherhood.org/fatherhood/help-your-board-raise-funds




5. Young fathers show risk of postpartum depression

GAIL ROSENBLUM@GROSENBLUM

http://www.startribune.com/rosenblum-young-fathers-show-risk-of-postpartum-depression/390632241/





6. Fatherhood Adventures 


http://mdcoastdispatch.com/2016/08/18/fatherhood-adventures-august-19-2016/





7. OU professor researches marriage, pornography use

Abby Bitterman

http://www.oudaily.com/news/ou-professor-researches-marriage-pornography-use/article_4c0519a2-693d-11e6-99de-67981e238084.html





8. MARITAL HISTORIES, GENDER, AND FINANCIAL SECURITY IN LATE MID-LIFE: EVIDENCE FROM FOUR COHORTS IN THE HEALTH AND RETIREMENT STUDY 

Amelia Karraker and Cassandra Dorius

http://crr.bc.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/wp_2016-4.pdf

http://crr.bc.edu/working-papers/marital-histories-gender-and-financial-security-in-late-mid-life-evidence-from-four-cohorts-in-the-health-and-retirement-study-2/




9. Prevention science

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevention_science




10. How Marriage Affects Poverty

http://firstthings.org/marriage-affects-poverty/



Thanks Alysse




Fwd: Faith & Family Findings

 
 
----------Original Message----------

From: "Pat Fagan"
Date: Aug 19, 2016 12:30:23 PM
Subject: Faith & Family Findings
To: "BILLANDPATCOFFIN@VERIZON.NET" <BILLANDPATCOFFIN@VERIZON.NET>
 
Having trouble viewing this mail? Click here to view it in your browser.
Make sure that you always get our messages: Add marri.research@gmail.com to your contacts.

Click here to unsubscribe or update your email address.

August 19, 2016
FFF

Dear Friends,

This week we highlight new research on fatherhood, violence and marriage education programs.


NEW RESEARCH HIGHLIGHTS


Father AbsenceFather Absence, Delinquency, and Depression


The later in a child’s life that the father departs from the family, the greater the increase in adolescent delinquency.  This family disruption leads to a decline in parental monitoring and involvement. Father departure affects depressive symptoms less so, but causes subclinical levels of psychological pain, according to Anna Markowitz and Rebecca Ryan of Georgetown University.



Neighborhood ViolenceNeighborhood Violence and Parental Support

Adolescents' ability to control their anger and sadness—skills acquired through parental acceptance, support, openness, and emotion coaching—decreases neighborhood violence. Therefore, low income at-risk youth especially need involved parents to help them navigate their turbulent environment, report Michael Criss and Amanda Morris of Oklahoma State University.


Couple Relationship ClassesCouple Relationship Education Program

Couple Relationship Education (CRE) Programs improve all women’s relationships, but particularly those in more unstable relationships.  Men benefit regardless of relationship vulnerability, says Julianne McGill and Francesca Adler-Baeder of Auburn University.


MARRIPEDIA ENTRIES RELATED TO THESE FINDINGS


1) “Effects of Fatherless Families on Crime Rates”

2) “Effects of Parental Discipline on Crime Rates”

3) “Effectiveness of Marriage Education Programs”





With an eye to the future of America,

Pat Fagan
Director of the Marriage and Religion Research Information (MARRI) project at The Catholic University of America


This email is being sent to BILLANDPATCOFFIN@VERIZON.NET.

Unsubscribe or update your address.


This message was sent by Marriage and Religion Research Institute | 8801 Kensignton Parkway | Chevy Chase, MD 20815

Re: Candidates for Friday Five

11. The effect of parental divorce on children’s long-term outcomes

Wolfgang Frimmel, Martin Halla, Rudolf Winter-Ebmer

​http://voxeu.org/article/divorce-and-children-s-long-term-outcomes​



On Thu, Aug 18, 2016 at 10:57 AM, Alysse ElHage <alysse@ifstudies.org> wrote:

Thanks, Bill!


Alysse ElHage

Editor, Family-Studies blog

The Institute for Family Studies

http://family-studies.org 




From: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, August 17, 2016 8:05:03 PM
To: Alysse ElHage
Cc: W. Bradford Wilcox; Dave and Liz Percival; Emily Luschin; post@posthaven.com; Titleof Liberty; marri.research@gmail.com; Pat Fagan
Subject: Candidates for Friday Five
 


1. Do You Have a Negative Attitude about Aging?

 Kate Wheeling 

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/do_you_have_negative_attitude_about_aging?




2. 20TH NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT

http://2016nccan.com/livestream.html



3. High stress between 5 and 8 is biologically embedded, posing mental health risks decades later into adult life, suggests US brain scans study.

Dr Jamie Hanson

https://childandfamilyblog.com/brain-scans-mental-health/?





4. Pick One...
http://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles-series/anderson-tracking-teen-attitudes-marriage-cohab.html




5. Marriage tips: what a 70-year union and new study can teach couples

Patricia Kozicka

http://globalnews.ca/news/2877974/marriage-tips-what-a-70-year-union-and-a-new-study-can-teach-couples/







6. 

Promoting Child Well Being and Permanency Through Healthy Relationships


The National Resource Center for Healthy Marriage and Families

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jzGh2CifQg






7. Science Behind a Happy Relationship
http://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/?




8. The Next Generation of Fathers

Matthew Melmed

https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1508-the-next-generation-of-fathers?




9. Welfare Reform Turns 20: Looking Back, Going Forward
 
August 22, 2016
9:00AM to 12:45PM

http://www.cato.org/events/welfare-reform-turns-20-looking-back-going-forward


and 

http://www.aei.org/events/the-20th-anniversary-of-welfare-reform-learning-from-the-past-to-guide-the-future/





10. Enrichment Programs

http://www.militaryfamily.org/info-resources/marriagedivorce/enrichment-programs.html?



Thanks Alysee.

Fwd: A link to download new eBook


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Gary Thomas <garythomasblog@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2016 at 8:54 AM
Subject: A link to download my new eBook
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Every Good Marriage Begins with a Funeral
View this email in your browser
Hey everyone,

Those of you who have recently joined this list have already received my new eBook, but I wanted to make sure all of you had the chance to download it.

The book is called Every Good Marriage Begins with a Funeral, and it's a free, digital, 47-page download for you as a way to say "thanks" for staying connected to my blog and my books.

You can download it here: Every Good Marriage Begins with a Funeral

I'm so thankful for readers like you who have provided me the opportunity to have a career authoring books, and I'm so excited to share more about my next book, Cherish, with you in the coming months.

Also, if you'd like to let your friends know that they can download this free eBook as well, here is a status update you can copy/paste into Facebook or Twitter:

"Every Good Marriage Begins with a Funeral" by Gary Thomas is a free download at his blog today. Get it here: http://www.garythomas.com/everygoodmarriage/

Thanks,
Gary
Facebook
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Candidates for Friday Five

1. Do You Have a Negative Attitude about Aging?

 Kate Wheeling 

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/do_you_have_negative_attitude_about_aging?




2. 20TH NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT

http://2016nccan.com/livestream.html



3. High stress between 5 and 8 is biologically embedded, posing mental health risks decades later into adult life, suggests US brain scans study.

Dr Jamie Hanson

https://childandfamilyblog.com/brain-scans-mental-health/?





4. Pick One...
http://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles-series/anderson-tracking-teen-attitudes-marriage-cohab.html




5. Marriage tips: what a 70-year union and new study can teach couples

Patricia Kozicka

http://globalnews.ca/news/2877974/marriage-tips-what-a-70-year-union-and-a-new-study-can-teach-couples/







6. 

Promoting Child Well Being and Permanency Through Healthy Relationships


The National Resource Center for Healthy Marriage and Families







7. Science Behind a Happy Relationship
http://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-a-happy-relationship/?




8. The Next Generation of Fathers

Matthew Melmed

https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/1508-the-next-generation-of-fathers?




9. Welfare Reform Turns 20: Looking Back, Going Forward
 
August 22, 2016
9:00AM to 12:45PM

http://www.cato.org/events/welfare-reform-turns-20-looking-back-going-forward


and 

http://www.aei.org/events/the-20th-anniversary-of-welfare-reform-learning-from-the-past-to-guide-the-future/





10. Enrichment Programs

http://www.militaryfamily.org/info-resources/marriagedivorce/enrichment-programs.html?



Thanks Alysee.

Fwd: 8 Ways to Date Your Spouse without Breaking the Budget

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Crosswalk Marriage <Crosswalk@crosswalkmail.com>
Date: Tue, Aug 16, 2016, 08:30
Subject: 8 Ways to Date Your Spouse without Breaking the Budget
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Articles to help you grow closer to your spouse.
View this email in your browser
Crosswalk.com Home

8 Ways to Date Your Spouse without Breaking the Budget

by Whitney Hopler

Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Peter and Heather Larson’s and David and Claudia Arp’s new book $10 Great Dates: Connecting Love, Marriage, and Fun on a Budget (Bethany House, 2014).

Dating your spouse is vital to the health of your marriage, since sharing experiences outside of your normal routines keeps your relationship fresh and strengthens your bond. But traditional dates are often so expensive that couples sometimes neglect dating rather than deal with the stress of paying for pricey dates, like dinner at a fancy restaurant followed by a movie.

The good news is that by using your God-given creativity, you can create big romance on a small budget. Here are 8 types of dates you and your spouse can enjoy together for only about $10:

Adventure dates. Imagine that you and your spouse are tourists visiting your hometown, and enjoy tourist attractions that you haven’t yet visited together. Go shopping together on a mission to buy surprise gifts for each other, spending no more than $5 each on those gifts. Attend a free community workshop or seminar with your spouse to learn something new. Drive some back roads in your area to explore, going as far out and back as you can afford on $10 worth of gas. Visit a local home improvement store together to plan future projects for your home.

Out-on-the-town dates. Eat just desserts at a fancy restaurant, enjoying the atmosphere after you’ve eaten your main course inexpensively at home. Visit a store that sells greeting cards, choose cards to give to each other, and then put them back. Tour homes that are on sale during open house events. Discover interesting books, CDs, and DVDs at your local public library together. Drive to places in your area that are significant to your relationship – places where you all created good memories in the past – and take photos of each other at those places now. Eat breakfast together at home in bed, or out at an inexpensive restaurant. Transform the errands you have to do into a date by doing the errands together. Visit a museum in your area to learn more about art, history, or science through the museum’s collection.

At-home dates. Watch a movie that you had seen during your first year of dating and reminisce about that time in your lives together. Beat the “blahs” by doing something out of each other’s comfort zones or encouraging someone you all know who is going through a difficult time. Play games that you all enjoyed growing up, such as a favorite board game. Search for coupons together that you can use to save money on future fun activities. Cook together, preparing a meal that neither of you has ever created before. Watch the video of your wedding ceremony and reception and reminisce about that special day.

The Great Outdoors dates. Take a hike together, enjoying the scenery and conversation. Enjoy a campfire or fireplace with your spouse. Stream a movie through a mobile device at an outdoor location. Go to a local youth sporting event (like a baseball, soccer, or football game) together. Walk, jog, or run together and practice adjusting your pace to be in sync with each other as you do. Go to a local playground and enjoy playing together like children there. Take a walk outside either during the morning, when you can see the sunrise, or at night, when you can see the moon and stars.

Marriage pick-me-up dates. Research each other’s family history (through genealogy websites, family Bible records, family interviews, etc.) during a date. Order something inexpensive at a fast food restaurant’s drive-through window and observe the importance of checking the accuracy of the order so you can strengthen your listening skills with each other. Go someplace you all can talk privately and conduct a marriage checkup, talking about the current health of your relationship. Volunteer your time and energy to work together on a project or helping someone in need. Compile a “bucket list” of places you both would like to travel to during your lifetimes. Identify people who have helped you all as a couple and spend time on a date expressing your gratitude to at least one of them.

Romantic dates. Prepare an elegant dinner that you serve to your spouse as a picnic under the evening stars. Enjoy a spa experience at home, with a romantic bath and massages that you give each other. Take dancing lessons at home through free online videos. Meet your spouse at the door when he or she returns home in the evening and offer to grant three of his or her romantic wishes. Visit a hotel lobby to watch the people and enjoy the atmosphere there together. Surprise each other with inexpensive objects in a place that will help you communicate a significant message of love.

Seasonal special dates. Celebrate the arrival of spring by attending a local festival together. Choose some seeds – for vegetables, fruits, herbs, or flowers – and plant them in your yard or in a pot together. Have fun with your spouse in water, such as by swimming, boating, or fishing. Visit a farmer’s market to buy some fresh and inexpensive food. Pick your own fruit (such as apples or strawberries) at a local orchard. Take a hike together in the snow if you live in a place that’s cold enough for snow. Work out together during the holidays to make up for the extra calories you’re eating then. Drive around nearby neighborhoods to see Christmas lights and decorations.

Unique and unusual dates. Have a gold scavenger hunt in your house and sell any gold you find that you no longer need. See what food you can find in your pantry and freezer, and prepare it together for dinner at home. Test drive a vehicle at a local dealership just to enjoy the experience together. Play with a pet at home together, or visit your local shelter or pet store to play with the animals there. Plan landscaping for your yard. Look for bargains under $10 at estate sales in your area.

Adapted from $10 Great Dates: Connecting Love, Marriage, and Fun on a Budget, copyright 2014 by Peter and Heather Larson and David and Claudia Arp. Published by Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group, Bloomington, Mn., www.bethanyhouse.com.      

Peter and Heather Larson and David and Claudia Arp help couples of all ages and stages build great marriages. Peter is a licensed clinical psychologist and Heather is a Christian relationship coach. David and Claudia, founders of Marriage Alive, created the many 10 Great Dates seminars and resources now popular across the United States and internationally.

Whitney Hopler, who has served as a Crosswalk.com contributing writer for many years, is author of the Christian novel Dream Factory, which is set during Hollywood's golden age. She produced a site about angels and miracles for About.com. Now she writes about the power of thoughts on her “Renewing Your Mind” blog.

Publication date: October 20, 2014
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