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Take, Lord, Receive, My Work and Career Posted: 06 Sep 2016 03:30 AM PDT I work in an office where the pace is breakneck speed. I pray during my morning commute, but pride kicks in as I park: “See you at noon, God. I’ve got things covered.” Then I read the Suscipe. Uh, oh. Do I mean it? I pray, “Take, Lord, receive, well, most of me. Can I hang on to this area—and that—while I ‘let you’ take care of the rest?” So I’m taking an incremental approach to praying the Suscipe and meaning it. I’m starting with my high-stress work environment. When expectations of what’s possible are unrealistic, I pause and recommit to who my boss really is: I’m called to work for God—not human approval. The Examen is a guide. At the end of the day, I think about how well I allowed Christ to lead me at the office, and where I exercised genuine self-surrender. It helps me to do this musically, so I’ve paraphrased the song “Take, Lord, Receive,” by John Foley, SJ (humming not included). Take, Lord, receive all my work and career. Relationships, interruptions, my strategic plans. Give me only your love! You’re my boss. You’re enough for me. Your love and your plans are enough for me. Take, Lord, receive, multitasking and stress. Have you given this to me? Can I return it? Give me only your love and a cup of some fresh-brewed “Joe.” On Mondays I know: You’re enough for me. Take, Lord, receive, everything on my desk. Dispose of it, wholly according to your will. Give me only your love and a pace that leaves time for you. My office: a place where your grace comes through. After singing and while driving home, I ask myself: When did I see Christ walk through my office door? When during the workday did I feel closest to Christ? How did I listen to the invitations to kindness, honesty, and integrity in work relationships and tasks? Did I pause to ask God’s opinion before barreling ahead with an e-mail, a decision, or a comment to a coworker? Did I live my desire to work for God, or was success my bottom line? Was I forgetful of God? Did I check my faith at the door? I make my resolutions for a better tomorrow. I’m grateful that God allows me the freedom to draw closer to Christ in increments. And truth be told, after praying this way, I am much more at peace. Things seem to be going better in the office, or is it that I am changed? I next turn to an aspect of my life that needs much more work (sung to the same tune): Take, Lord, receive All my time in the car. The way I drive, my lane changes, The entire road. Refrain: Give a blessing to all who will drive Down this busy lane. All day and all night, give us patience, Lord. What parts of my life are easiest to give over to God’s complete control? The post Take, Lord, Receive, My Work and Career appeared first on Ignatian Spirituality.

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Editors: This is a particularly important column, suggesting that all married couples attend a Marriage Encounter weekend retreat.  I tell our personal story of attending one after ten years of marriage – with rather embarrassing details about my ignorance of major flaws in our marriage. More than 3 million couples have revived their marriage by  attending. A colleague, Marco Ciavolino, found the perfect illustration for it, and added an email contact.  If you are interested in a one-shot publication of my column, call me at 301-978-7105.

 

Mike

 

Ethics & Religion
September 1, 2016
Column #1,827
Attend Marriage Encounter to Build a Lasting Marriage
By Mike McManus

 

Men are generally not as religious as women. But this is a mistake that can be rectified. If he asks her to go to church, she will be impressed. A man open to God is a man who can win over a woman who is more apt to be a believer. 

Why is this so? A study of the 2006 National Survey of Religion and Family Life, found that church-going was a positive for relationships. Couples who attend church are happier - 11% more apt to report they were "very happy" or "extremely happy," compared with non-attenders. Couples who pray together are 17% more likely to report marital satisfaction. 

I did not know that in the first decade of our marriage. We went to church weekly from the beginning, and I was very happy in the marriage. But by Year 10 Harriet was not. I did not know this until we went to a Marriage Encounter, an intensive weekend retreat that has been attended by 3 million couples. 

Several couples at church encouraged us to go to Marriage Encounter. I asked, "What is it?" They were rather mysterious about it, only saying that it "will strengthen your marriage." 

I replied, "I already have a good marriage." 

"But Marriage Encounter is designed to make a good marriage better. It is not aimed at the troubled marriage," I was told. When I asked for details on what happens, one man replied, "I can't reveal details, but it was the best thing my wife and I ever did together." 

That sounded good enough to me, though the mystery was annoying. However, when I suggested to Harriet that we go, she was cold and firm: "No." Why? "We can't just leave. We have three small children." 

When one of the couples encouraging us to go again approached us, I replied, "We have three boys at home." They replied, "That's no problem. Some of us would be glad to take care of them."

Harriet countered, "But we can't afford a weekend at a motel." Our friends responded, "You don't understand. You way has already been paid. People here love you enough to make it possible for you to go."

Wow! That impressed me. "Come on, Harriet, let's go." She relented. 

Some background on our situation. We lived in Connecticut so I could produce a series of TV programs on 18 New York TV stations framing choices on how to reduce poverty, for example. We also gave people a way to "ballot" on the choices, and 133,000 ballots were mailed in. One result was passage of the Earned Income Tax Credit subsidizing poor families.

I wanted to create American Town Meetings involving network TV, TIME and newspapers. I found federal funding to explore the possibility, but had to work in Washington. For a year I got on a 2 am Monday train and got home at 11 pm Friday.

At Marriage Encounter, three couples shared their marriage struggles. Their key message was that "Emotions must be expressed - not repressed. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. However, you can't expect your spouse to know them unless you share them."

We were then asked to write a "love letter" to each other on assigned topics, and then to speak with each other in private. One topic was to share something that "I have wanted to share with you that I couldn't or didn't share." Harriet wrote, "You left me for over a year. I felt deserted."

I was shocked. In our conversation afterward, she added, "This is no marriage! I never saw you during the week, and when you came home, you would fall asleep. You are not a husband and are not a father!"

Stunned, I asked, "What do you mean?" 

"Now you come home every night, but you have no time for me and the kids. You work all weekend. I asked you on Sunday to take the kids for a swim and you said, `I have to write.' You always have to write. You love your career more than me and the children!"

I broke down and cried. I was so absorbed by the difficulty of my life I had no idea of its impact on Harriet and the kids. I asked for her forgiveness and resolved to change.

We began getting up early to read Scripture daily and pray. We learned to put Christ at the center of our marriage.

Today we have an imperfect but healthy marriage that has thrived for over 50 years.

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Marriage Encounter World Wide:  http://www.wwme.org
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Copyright (c) 2016 Michel J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist. For previous columns go towww.ethicsandreligion.org. Hit Search for any topic.
 

 

 

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Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-978-7105