Consider 162 Reasons To Marry - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,590

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael J. McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Thu, Feb 16, 2012 at 2:12 AM
Subject: Consider 162 Reasons To Marry - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,590

Feb. 15, 2012

Column #1,590

Consider 162 Reasons to Marry!

By Mike McManus

 

            Those of us who believe in marriage are not doing a good job.  The marriage rate has plunged 54% since 1970.  If the same percentage of couples were getting married today as in 1970, we would have 3.3 million marriages this year, not 2.2 million.

 

            The cover story of the Washington Post Magazine on Sunday, “When You Never Find The One,” quoted people rationalizing about their singleness.  “This is who I am. I’m single. I love it,” says assistant professor Bella DePaulo.  

 

            “Settling just never seemed like the right move,” writes blogger Wendy Braitman.

 

            Has marriage become less attractive?  Obviously, it has for many people.  The percentage of married adults used to be 72% and is now only 51%.

 

            However, Pat Fagan, head of the MARRI Institute at the Family Research Council, has written a paper full of hope: “162 Reasons to Marry.” 

 

It is must reading for your single friends.

 

            “Marriage is the foundational relationship for all of society…Good marriages are the bedrock of strong societies, for they are the foundations of strong families,” he begins.

 

            “The future of the human race and all its component societies is embodied in each newborn. Whether that newborn grows to be a strong capable adult depends much on the marriage of his parents.  Whether he is physically strong; whether she is intelligent; whether he is hardworking or a dropout; whether she will be mentally healthy and happy; whether he will be more educated; whether she will marry in her own turn; whether he will be a taxpayer or a drain on the commons; whether she enjoys sexuality to the full; whether he worships and prays; whether she has children and how many; whether he finishes high school and goes to college or learns a trade; whether she is law-abiding; whether he grows old with a family surrounding him – all these most desirable outcomes…are strongly connected to the strength of that child’s parents.”

 

            If that sounds like it was written by a man with eight children, it was!

 

            However, only 46% of teenagers are living in an intact married family.  More than half are growing up in homes where the parents “rejected each other,” as Fagan wrote last year.

 

            That is what is ominous. 

 

Women raised in intact married homes have the lowest number of unwed births, are more likely to marry and less likely to divorce, says the report. They are “the least likely to have intercourse before age 18,” have fewer sexual partners and are least likely to cohabit.

 

But cohabitation has skyrocketed from 430,000 in 1960 to 7.5 million in 2010.  Unwed births have soared eight-fold from 5% to 41% of all births, and are mostly to cohabiting parents.

 

Children from intact married families are most likely to earn As in school and to have the “highest combined English and math grade point averages.”

 

However, on international math comparisons, Americans scored 487 while Japanese, Koreans and Chinese scored from 540 to 600. The unwed birth rate is 41% here, 2% in Japan.

 

“Children from intact families exceed their parents educational attainment (sons by 2 .8 years, daughters by 2.5 years)….Married men work more hours than cohabiting men” and their productivity increases by 27% as a result of marrying,” the report asserts.

 

Married families have larger incomes, larger net worth, and the largest net worth growth of between $3,000 and $17,000 in two years.  Conversely, if biological single parents of poor children marry, 70% of those kids would immediately move into the middle class. 

 

Marriage also reduces crime rates.  Adolescents from married homes are less likely to steal, to fight, be delinquent or run away from home.  Conversely, teenagers from divorced families are more verbally aggressive and violent toward their romantic partners.

 

“Marriage is especially beneficial for the health of the elderly.”  That’s an understatement.  A married woman will live four years longer – and a man, ten years longer than a single one.  “It seems that marriage, as a sort of social support, strengthens the immune system,” and married people smoke and drink less and maintain healthier weight.

 

Result: married people’s “responses to cancer treatment are better and comparable to people 10 years younger.”

 

However, what is to be done about plunging marriage rates? 

 

The report’s response is feeble: “Maybe we can hope that the children who experienced so much rejection between their parents will become the greatest generation of parents who belong to each other in lifelong marriage.”

 

I doubt it. 

 

One good answer, however, is give the report to unmarried friends. Download it free at FamilyResearchCouncil.org, Go to the Marriage and Family section.

Copyright © 2012 Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers & a syndicated columnist

 

 

My new email address is mike@marriagesavers.org

Michael J. McManus
syndicated columnist
"Ethics & Religion"
President & Co-Chair
Marriage Savers
9311 Harrington Dr.
Potomac, MD 20854
www.marriagesavers.org
301-469-5873

 

 

Daily Meditation: Discovering Your True Self Through Prayer -- St. Valentine's Day -- Feb. 14, 2012

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Center for Action and Contemplation <cac@cacradicalgrace.org>
Date: Tue, Feb 14, 2012 at 2:06 AM
Subject: Daily Meditation: Discovering Your True Self Through Prayer -- St. Valentine's Day -- Feb. 14, 2012
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Richard's Daily Meditations

Sunset Behind Tree, Red by © Shirin McArthur  

DISCOVERING YOUR TRUE SELF
THROUGH PRAYER

Tuesday, February 14, 2012
St. Valentine's Day

In what is commonly called prayer, you and your hurts, needs, and perspectives are still the central reference point, not really God. But you have decided to invite a Major Power in to help you with your already determined solution! God can perhaps help you get what you want, but it is still a self-centered desire, instead of God’s much better role—which is to help you know what you really desire (Luke 11:13, Matthew 7:11). It always takes a bit of time to widen this lens, and therefore the screen, of life.

One goes through serious withdrawal pain for a while until the screen is widened to a high-definition screen. It is work to learn how to pray, largely the work of emptying the mind and filling the heart—that is prayer in one concise and truthful phrase. Or as some say, "pulling the mind down into the heart" until they both operate as one. A good thing to think about with all of the hearts you will probably see on this Valentine's Day!

Adapted from Breathing under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, p. 96


Starter Prayer:
Teach me to pray.

 
 
Richard Rohr -- Wondrous Encounters -- Scripture for Lent -- bookcover

Wondrous Encounters: Scripture for Lent
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Valentine's Day for Everyone Edition

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Healthy Relationships California <info@relationshipsca.org>
Date: Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 7:22 PM
Subject: Valentine's Day for Everyone Edition
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


 

Valentine's Day for Everyone Edition

10 Ways to Make Love into a Lifestyle!

People talk about falling in love, losing at love and looking for love. What if you could have a more permanent and reliable relationship with love--one that was not dependent on another person?


This entails making love into a lifestyle rather than a life event.  And it can have great personal benefits. According to Carol McCloud, author of Have You Filled A Bucket Today?, those “who learn to express kindness and love lead happier lives.” What if you were to incorporate a caring attitude and made a genuine effort to show attention toward others every day?


Here are 10 sure-fire ways to make love into a lifestyle>>>


5 Big Lies about Love

Everything you think you know about love might be wrong!

 

Common sentiments about love get repeated over and over. Popular sayings get passed on from generation to generation. Ideas about love get affirmed by our “feelings” and by what we hope to be true rather than by logic and meaningful information.


Yep, we’ve all been duped when it comes to matters of the heart.

Now is the time to crush the romantic fibs out of your love life and ground your understanding of love in more meaningful information. Here are five big lies about love>>>


Is your relationship the best it can be?

What is Relationship and Marriage Education?

 

Relationship and Marriage Education (RME) refers to skills-based educational approaches, often preventive in nature, in which individuals or couples are taught skills to increase effective communication, success in resolving problems and conflicts with their spouse/partner, and skills and attitudes that increase marital commitment and satisfaction as well as family stability.

 

Is there any research that proves RME really works?

 

In eight comprehensive analyses of hundreds of research studies, results show that Relationship and Marriage Education programs work—"to reduce strife, improve communication, increase parenting skills, increase stability, and enhance marital happiness." The overwhelming consensus among researchers is that Relationship Education programs "are effective in helping families do more than merely survive—that Relationship Education enables couples to learn skills that enable their marriage and children to thrive" (Fagan, Patrick F., Patterson Robert W. and Robert E. Rector. "Marriage and Welfare Reform: The Overwhelming Evidence that Marriage Education Works". The Heritage Foundation: Backgrounder #1606, 2002).

 

Find Relationship and Marriage Education (RME) Classes throughout California! >>>


What do you have to say about this?

"With divorces lingering at nearly 50%, and each divorce generating a social services burden conservatively estimated at $30,000 per divorce, marital outcomes are critical to the overall stability of American society. Marital outcomes impact the couple, their children, their community, and the culture we live in," says David G. Schramm in his research of 2006 (Journal of Family and Economic Issues, Vol. 27(1) 133-146). The social services impact of divorce includes increased government expenditures for program such as:

 

  • Food stamps
  • Medicare
  • Medicaid
  • Children's Health Insurance
  • Child Support Enforcement
  • Court costs
  • WIC
  • LIHEAP
  • Subsidized day care and housing assistance

All of these taxpayer-supported social services come to a total national bill of "roughly $33.3 billion annually."

 

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!  In your opinion, what measures should be taken to improve the well-being of families in preventive ways, rather than repairing family breakdown once it occurs?


How are you celebrating National Marriage Week?

With society's economic challenges, a record low of married couples, and a high divorce rate, comes a compelling solution: the Relationship and Marriage Education movement. This national observance week is to highlight the value of marriage and its important role in society.

 

Celebrate your marriage and reflect on what you are doing to take care of it!


Your gift can help prevent a divorce!

Are you looking to make a Valentine's Day contribution to enable another couple to get the help they need? Consider making a gift to Healthy Relationships California. While HRC has Federal funding for certain, restricted activities, the relationship needs of marriages and families in our state is great!

 

Your contribution can go a long way to help HRC make more Relationship and Marriage Education classes available to more people in more communities. And you will have the satisfaction of having made a big difference to the quality of people's lives.

 

Make an online donation today  >>>


Healthy Relationships California Website Facebook

Copyright © 2012 Healthy Relationships California.
1045 Passiflora Avenue, Leucadia, California 92024

A dance for daddies and their little girls

 
A dance for daddies and their little girls
Philadelphia Daily News
As head of Daddy University, Austin trains at fatherhood workshops, speaks about parenting at schools, businesses and conferences, and runs a free Father's Club from 6:30 to 8:30 pm every Tuesday at the West Philadelphia YMCA, Chestnut Street near 51st ...
See all stories on this topic »

Bill

Join NARME at http://narme.org 
and see Links & Clips, updated daily, at http://scoop.it/t/narme
(send your input for Links and Clips to me at bill@narme.org ) 

This Week's Relationship Tip

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Council for Relationships <tip@councilforrelationships.org>
Date: Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 1:49 AM
Subject: This Week's Relationship Tip
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Having trouble viewing this email? Click here

Helping People Live Their Best Lives
 

THIS WEEK'S RELATIONSHIP TIP

The "Grinch Who Stole Valentine's Day"

You may remember Dr. Seuss's Grinch, and how he stole Christmas. You may wonder why bring up the Grinch in February, weeks after that particular holiday? In the book, the Grinch discovers that it is the spirit of the holiday endures, not the things of the holiday. He can steal the material objects but not the spirit. His wonderful change occurs when he realizes this and realizes the spirit is infinitely shareable while the objects are very finite. In therapist terms, the “process” (the spirit) endures even when the “content” (material objects) changes.

So when I talk about being the “Grinch who stole Valentine’s Day,” in the video here, I am hoping to inspire you to change your focus from the objects or events we all think of as February 14th approaches. Instead, why not focus on the spirit of the holiday? The spirit is about connecting with loved ones with a little extra intensity, a little extra appreciation, a little extra fun. And for healthier, more enjoyable relationships, challenge yourself to bring that spirit to as many days of your year as you can.

Watch Dr. Greer now if the video did not play automatically.

For many more tips and articles on a variety of topics, please visit Council for Relationship's Tip of the Week Archive.


COUNCIL FOR RELATIONSHIPS IN THE MEDIA
Council for Relationships' therapists are often called upon for their expertise to contribute to both local and national news programs. Click on the segment titles to view the interview or click here to view more segments.

PDA's: How Much Is Too Much?
CBS 3 News

New Thinking on Dealing with Trauma
CFR's Transcending Trauma Project featured in the Jewish Exponent


UPCOMING PROGRAMS:
WHICH ONE IS RIGHT FOR YOU?


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Operation Home & Healing Helping Veterans
and Their Loved Ones

Video: How OHH Trained Therapists can help you and your loved ones

Operation Home and Healing is CFR's new program focused on helping veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as their loved ones, to deal with the emotional distress of war and the challenges of returning to civilian and family life. 
Learn more about
Operation Home & Healing.

 

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Valentine's Day - Are You Ready?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Better Marriages (ACME) <huntpriscilla53@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Feb 11, 2012 at 12:01 PM
Subject: Valentine's Day - Are You Ready?
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 

4-Color Logo

 

 

Valentine's Day - Are You Ready?

Here are a few experiences, articles, videos and tips to make this season of romance a special one for you and your sweetheart.

Hearts
Your Most Romantic Valentine's Day Ever
With David and Darlene Steele from Relationship Coaching Institute

Sunday, February 12
5:00pm pacific/8:00pm eastern for one hour

Accessible by telephone and internet, this event will be an EXPERIENCE, not a seminar.
Just find a quiet place to sit together, relax,and turn up your computer speakers (or telephone).

Very simply, we want you to have your most romantic Valentine's Day ever.

Just as the best things in life are free, so is this event; it's our gift to you.

Hearts
Relationship Tips for Valentine's Day
by Greg and Priscilla Hunt
  

 

Download here for free.   

 

 

Hearts  

Articles About Romance and Relationships 

 

Life Is A Journey: Tips Toward Loving, Lasting Relationships
Members of Better Marriages Gateway Chapter talk about what makes marriages work


What is Romantic: An Email Exchange
Greg and Priscilla Hunt explore what Romantic means to them

Relationship Tip: Show Appreciation in Marriage
Love each other but don't always like each other? Appreciation is the key!

How to Use Conflict to Bring You Closer
We all have conflict. It's what we do with it that matters. Learn to use it creatively to bring you closer rather than pushing you farther apart.

Communication in Marriage is More Than Words
Nonverbals: facial expressions, tone of voice, body language. . . when it comes to communication, there's a lot to juggle. I find great encouragement to know that communication skills are learned - we're not born with them fully developed and we don't pick them up by osmosis.

Rekindling the Romance
Valentine's Day and every day is a good time to develop more romance in your relationship.

Tips for a Happier Relationship: Expectations vs. Intentions
It doesn't happen by accident. A conscious, intentional relationship is a decision.

Valentine's Day Tips for Couples
To make Valentine's Day the best ever, try this: determine to do whatever it takes to improve your relationship with your partner.


Problem-Solving for Couples: Attitude is Everything
From time to time we call could use an attitude check. Consider these simple steps and see if they don't help you to get a handle on couple conflict.

Hearts

Videos of Real Couples Talking about Real Issues
 
Watch videos here.


Hearts
Resources to Enrich and Enhance Your Relationship 

Visit Better Marriages online store.


Hearts 

Marriage Week USA

Find an Event Near You

  

Visit http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/find-events-in-your-area    

 

 

 


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For more resources, please visit our online store.

 

 

Register here to receive relationship tips and our e-newsletter!

 

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The Systemic Relationship Between Relationship and Marriage Education and Depression

 
The Systemic Relationship Between Relationship and Marriage ...
The Systemic Relationship Between Relationship and Marriage Education and Depression ... and Marriage Education Network (NERMEN) has identified self- ...
www.alabamamarriage.org/documents/research/.../5.pdf

Bill

Join NARME at http://narme.org 
and see Links & Clips, updated daily, at http://scoop.it/t/narme
(send your input for Links and Clips to me at bill@narme.org ) 

Fresno CA family life -diocesan-recognized organizations



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Joanne Bauer joanneb@dioceseoffresno.org>
Date: Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 7:02 PM
Subject: family life -diocesan-recognized organizations
To: Bill Coffin billcoffin68@gmail.com>


You may be interested in looking at the website of St. Anthony Retreat Center: http://stanthonyretreatcenter.homestead.com/2009retreats.html  

 

Blessings and much gratitude,

 

Sr. Joanne

Sr. Joanne Bauer, CSC

Family Life Coordinator

Office of Ministries

1550 N. Fresno St.

Fresno, CA 93703

(559) 488-7474 ext. 106

 

 

 

Look what's happening with National Marriage Week USA (This is the week!)

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Fri, Feb 10, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Subject: Look what's happening with National Marriage Week USA (This is the week!)
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Good News!
National Marriage Week USA is raising the tide to floats all boats--including yours!

Take a look at what is happening for National Marriage Week USA (This is the week!)
In PUBLIC POLICY, THE MEDIA, EVENTS and BENEFITS TO LOCAL PROVIDERS!

Like us on Facebook, and help build social media by forwarding the items down below!

IN PUBLIC POLICY!

U.S. Congressmen made floor statements from the U.S. House of Representatives on behalf of National Marriage Week USA (Feb. 7-14) .
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/news-room/us-congress-comments

An Inaugural Reception at the U.S. Capital. Check out the photo gallery.
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/news-room/photos-of-congressional-meeting

Governors' Proclamations in 2012
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/news-room/proclamations

Oklahoma lawmakers declare Marriage Week
http://www.kjrh.com/dpp/news/local_news/oklahoma-lawmakers-declare-week-marri...

IN MEDIA!

Help increase Social Media for marriage at Sheila Weber's FOX NEWS commentary, which was number 4 and 5 on Google news this week! Click comment and share at "A New Path to Upward Mobility--Get Married and Stay Married"
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/02/07/new-path-to-upward-mobilityget-marr...

A great overview story in The Washington Times. Feb. 5, 2012: "The third annual National Marriage Week USA begins Tuesday amid a tumultuous state of the union..."
http://p.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/feb/5/us-marriage-rate-continues-decli...

In The Atlantic: "The Death (and Life) of Marriage in America"
"National Marriage Week USA kicks off today, and for many people, a national booster movement for marriage could not come any sooner..."
http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/02/the-death-and-life-of-mar...

KLOVE Radio News Story
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/news-room/13-newsroom/105-news20120209a

The Christian Post: "What Can Christians Do to Strengthen their Marriage?" Feb. 8, 2012
http://www.zimdiaspora.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&...:what-can-christians-do-to-strengthen-their-marriage&catid=73:music&Itemid=299

The Christian Post: "162 Reasons to Marry," Feb. 10, 2012
http://www.christianpost.com/news/new-frc-report-finds-162-reasons-to-marry-6...

Examiner: "It's National Marriage Week this week: What have you done about it?"
http://www.examiner.com/ex-offender-re-entry-in-washington-dc/national-marria...

USCCB--An initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
http://www.marriageuniqueforareason.org/2012/02/07/national-marriage-week-cel...

EVENTS!

The Date Night Challenge is now in 850 churches! Created in partnership with National Marriage Week USA, and it's still growing! Get info about this 2-hour webcast with Dr. Greg Smalley and comedian Jeff Allan at www.focusonthefamily.com/datenight

CAMPUS OUTREACH: Five ads for a College POSTER Campaign were created and used during National Marriage Week USA, at 19 universities (including 5 Ivy League). At least 5000 posters placed.
View them and use them at http://loveandfidelity.org/default.aspx?ID=9

Campus events listing during National Marriage Week USA through our partnership with the Love and Fidelity Network
http://loveandfidelity.org/default.aspx?ID=10

Our NATIONAL CALENDAR is burgeoning and growing! Thank you for posting your events and being a part of a national movement of marriage education to sweep the country!
Post your event or Locate an event near you.
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/find-events-in-your-area

BENEFITS TO LOCAL PROVIDERS!

Below is only a small sampling of friends who got media using National Marriage Week USA!

TV News Coverage in Boston:
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/news-room/13-newsroom/112-news20120209f

A story about National Marriage Week USA working at the local level. Generate your own story--create celebrations in towns all across America! A local group creates and publicizes a National Marriage Week USA Celebration!
http://www.aikenstandard.com/story/020712-marriage-week-column--3771660

Your TANGO experts say "I Do" to National Marriage Week!
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/yourtango-expert-s-team/yourtango-says-i-do-...

Marriage Works celebrates National Marriage Week USA
http://mymarriageworks.org/national-marriage-week-2012/

Build your own National Marriage Week USA campaign!
Grab our BANNER AD here and post it on your site. Or our LOGO!
http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/free-campaign-materials/banner-ads

Help spread the word! Let's Strengthen Marriage!

Sheila Weber
Executive Director, National Marriage Week USA
www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
sheila@nationalmarriageweekUSA.org


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National Marriage Week USA | 1603 Belvue Drive | Forest Hill | MD | 21050