NEW Tool Kit and Date Night Challenge for National Marriage Week USA

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Marriage Week USA <sheila@nationalmarriageweekusa.org>
Date: Fri, Dec 16, 2011 at 6:36 AM
Subject: NEW Tool Kit and Date Night Challenge for National Marriage Week USA
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


A friendly reminder to start planning for National Marriage Week USA!
National Marriage Week USA
Let's Strengthen Marriage
February 7-14
www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org

NEW Tool Kit and Date Night Challenge for National Marriage Week USA: February 7-14th !

You can strengthen marriages in your community, reduce divorce and cohabitation, and serve the needs of children, by joining with others to participate in National Marriage Week USA -- February 7 to 14th -- the week leading up to Valentine's Day.

Our Goals:

1) mobilize thousands of marriage classes, home groups and events across the nation, posted all on one national calendar; and

2) promote the benefits of marriage through the media and public policy makers in your community.

Simple Steps 1, 2, 3

1. Use our NEW, free TOOL KIT to spread the positive message about the benefits of marriage! Tool Kit includes Suggested Curricula, Webinars, Logos, Sample Press Releases, Mayor/Governor Proclamation, Newspaper Ads, Research, PSAs, downloadable Brochures, Marriage Tips, and more.

2. Plan to HOST a marriage class, home group, Sunday school class, or DATE NIGHT CHALLENGE EVENT during the week leading up to Valentine's Day. NEW this year -- a 2-hour webcast with Dr. Greg Smalley and Comedian Jeff Allen called “Date Night Challenge.” Or, of course, use any trusted marriage curricula, DVD, or workbook of your choosing -- our website lists many trusted existing options.

3. Please POST your event for free to help us build a growing National Calendar! This will help us get national media coverage about where folks can go to help their struggling marriages.

Please JOIN THE TEAM -- Post Your Event, no matter how small or large, so we can help publicize your efforts, or register just to stay informed, at www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org.

National Marriage Week USA is part of International Marriage Week, with 16 major countries around the world now mobilizing leaders and events to strengthen marriage in their countries:  http://www.marriage-weekinternational.com

Let's Work Together...Let's Strengthen Marriage!
Sheila Weber
Executive Director, National Marriage Week USA (Feb. 7 to 14)
Sheila@NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org


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Lets Strengthen Marriage | 1603 Belvue Drive | Forest Hill | MD | 21050

Culture Watch: Putting the Baby Carriage before Marriage May Not Lead to Happiness

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The Heritage Foundation <newsletters@heritage.org>
Date: Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 6:42 PM
Subject: Culture Watch: Putting the Baby Carriage before Marriage May Not Lead to Happiness
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


If you are having trouble viewing this message, click here to view it online

Culture Watch: Weekly Round-Up on Family, Religion and Civil Society

December 15, 2011

Putting the Baby Carriage before Marriage May Not Lead to Happiness

Yesterday, the Pew Research Center reported that marriage in the U.S. is at an all-time low with a little over half of Americans currently married, a steep decrease over the past few decades. As the decline of marriage continues to plague American culture, more children are being born outside the commitment and stability of matrimony. Today, more than four in 10 children are born outside of marriage.

As a recent report suggests, however, when it comes to parenting, going it alone or without a wedding band might not be the best option for personal happiness.

In The 2011 State of Our Unions report released by the University of Virginia’s National Marriage Project, researchers Dr. W. Brad Wilcox and Elizabeth Marquardt detail that parents who are married are more likely to report being “very happy” than their cohabiting or single counterparts.

According to their study titled “When Baby Makes Three: How Parenthood Makes Life Meaningful and How Marriage Makes Parenthood Bearable,” married parents between 18-49 years-old are between 11 and 26 percentage points more likely to rate their life as “very happy” than cohabiting or single parents. When it comes to relational contentment, marriage appears to be the best bet for parents. As Wilcox and Marquardt surmise:

“These findings suggest that the meaning, social support, financial security, and stability afforded by marriage, and to some extent cohabitation as well, make life more enjoyable for today’s parents, especially in comparison to their single peers who are parents.”

Although cohabiting parents tend to have higher levels of happiness than single parents, according to the report, simply co-parenting in the same household isn’t necessarily a recipe for sustained happiness. The researchers are quick to note that in the long-run, the living arrangement increasingly chosen by Americans is not likely to result in the relational stability or personal fulfillment of marriage.

It’s not just contentment with life that parents give up when they abandon the marital ties that bind. As research on The Heritage Foundation’s FamilyFacts.org demonstrates, the benefits of marriage extend far beyond personal happiness.

Married households tend to have higher incomes, greater wealth accumulations, and even better psychological and physical health. Children are arguably the greatest beneficiaries of the marriage commitment. Children raised in married households are less likely to exhibit behavioral problems, tend to have higher academic performance, and are significantly less likely to experience poverty than children raised outside of marriage.

Fortunately, there are ways that national leaders and policymakers can help restore a culture of marriage by promoting the many economic and social benefits of marriage - for both adult and child well-being – and eliminating disincentives to marry in federal tax policy and federal welfare programs.

What do you think of fewer Americans marrying? Comment on this story and interact with other Culture Watch readers online >>

Share This


Family Fact of the Week
Fewer Americans are Marrying

Over the past six decades, the percentage of adults who are married has steadily declined among all Americans. The decline has occurred more rapidly among African-American adults, among whom less than 40 percent are married. Find out how marriage increases child well-being and helps sustain civil society at FamilyFacts.org.

Click here for the full chart

 

FamilyFacts.org

More from Heritage

A Marshall Plan for Marriage: Rebuilding Our Shattered Homes
Backgrounder by Chuck Donovan

The Candy Cane Cops
Blog Post by Hans von Spakovsky

Marriage and Poverty in the U.S.   – State-by-State Charts
In Every U.S. State, Marriage is the #1 Weapon Against Childhood Poverty

// SHARE YOUR VIEWS ON OUR BLOG
Family Fact of the Week: Fewer Americans are Marrying
Blog Post by Sarah Torre
Heritage Foundation
DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society at The Heritage Foundation
Founded in 1973, The Heritage Foundation is the nation’s most broadly supported public policy organization. Heritage established the DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society in 2004 to educate government officials, the media and the public about the role religion, family, and civil society play in sustaining freedom and the common good. Culture Watch is sent on Thursdays.

The Heritage Foundation | 214 Massachusetts Ave NE, Washington, DC 20002 | 202.546.4400heritage.org
 

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Updates from Coalition for Divorce Reform

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Divorce Reform <updates@divorcereform.info>
Date: Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 2:20 PM
Subject: Updates from Coalition for Divorce Reform
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


header
.
1
Dear Bill,

Does America’s greatness lie in our economic wealth or in our values? How can we help reduce teen pregnancy and help teens succeed in current or future relationships? Should states enact waiting periods before couples can file for divorce? How does divorce impact women financially?

Please read the following posts to get the answers to these telling questions.

The Coalition for Divorce Reform needs you to spread the word about the devastating impact divorce has on children as well as their parents.

You can help by posting one or more of these blogs on your Facebook site, forwarding this newsletter to your friends, and going to the www.divorcereform.info site to register.

Thanks very much for your help.

Chris Gersten, Chair

Beverly Willett, Vice Chair
Coalition for Divorce Reform


Beginning at Home

Written by  Jason Williams

America’s greatness does not lie in its economic prosperity; it goes deeper than that. America’s value is in its values—specifically, its family values. And when marriage becomes passé due to a no-fault divorce culture that passes the legacy of disposable relationships to its children, no amount of money can repair the damage. 

Divorce indeed leaves a destructive legacy. Parental divorce leads to an increased risk of suicide and higher rates of psychological distress and mental illness; in fact, parental divorce has been shown to be more devastating to a child than parental death. And when divorce goes viral……. in a phenomenon called the “Divorce Cycle,” children of divorce are far more likely to have a marriage end in divorce.

Statistically, parental divorce increases a child's risk of school failure while decreasing the likelihood of college graduation and achievement of a high-status job. The end result is that children of divorce, even into adulthood, are at the highest risk of being impoverished. MORE at www.divorcereform.info

Help Teens Learn To Build Relationships

Written by  MIKE McMANUS

Although teen birth rates have fallen by a third over a decade, one in three U.S. teenage girls still get pregnant.  And teenagers account for half of all first out-of-wedlock births. Few of those girls will ever marry, and only 30 percent of those who do are in their first marriage by age 40. Their children are the least likely to fare well in school or relationships. Even worse, teens are apt to have a second unwed birth soon after the first.

In fact, 60 percent of girls aged 15 -17 approve of unwed childbearing, and three-quarters of those who are 18 or 19!

For decades the debate on teen sexuality has been between contraception vs. abstinence. "But neither approach devotes sufficient attention to instructing teens in how to achieve success in their current or future relationships or to exploring how postponing sex might contribute to healthy relationships down the road.” MORE at www.divorcereform.info

The Beauty of the Pause

Written by  BEVERLY WILLETT

I was surprised when I first learned that nearly 75% of states have no waiting period whatsoever before parties can file for divorce in spite of evidence suggesting that short or non-existent waiting periods may correspond to higher divorce rates. Marry one day, divorce the next. For the minority of states that have waiting periods, these interludes are intended to give couples time to make sure they've carefully considered the decision to end their marriage before starting litigation. Makes sense to me. MORE at www.divorcereform.info

Divorce Amidst Recession Impacts Women Especially Hard

Written by  LORI LOWE

Years ago, a divorcing friend told me she believed her financial situation would improve after her divorce due to the amount of child support and alimony she expected. Unsurprisingly, her financial situation greatly worsened after she filed for divorce. Within the year, she was filing for bankruptcy while caring for two children, and arguing with her ex about everything from the cost of school clothes to dental bills. MORE at www.divorcereform.info

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Subjects Needed / Hall Pass / Gottman Twitter /InScentives / Demographics and the Economy/ Grants - 12/14/11

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Smartmarriages" <smartmarriages@lists101.his.com>
Date: Dec 14, 2011 11:40 AM
Subject: Subjects Needed / Hall Pass / Gottman Twitter /InScentives / Demographics and the Economy/ Grants - 12/14/11
To: "List" <smartmarriages@lists101.his.com>, "Blogs" <cmfce@smartmarriages.com>

- DIVORCE RESEARCH: SUBJECTS NEEDED
- HALL PASS – A MARRIAGE MOVIE?
- SIGN OF THE TIMES: GOTTSEX – GOTTMAN INSTITUTE’S SEX TWITTER & iTUNE LESSONS  
- FILLED DIAPER BAGS INCENT COUPLES TO ATTEND
- REPORT: FALLING BIRTH, MARRIAGE RATES EXPLAIN GLOBAL ECONOMIC SLOWDOWN
- MARRIED ADULTS ON BRINK OF BECOMING MINORITY IN U.S.
- GRANT-RELATED OBSERVATIONS
_____________________________

- DIVORCE RESEARCH: SUBJECTS NEEDED

A graduate student at U of Nebraska is conducting research for her dissertation on communication and divorce outcomes. She is seeking individuals who are, or have been, legally divorced (not currently in process) to complete a 20-minute online survey.  You will be asked about interactions during your divorce with your ex-spouse, a family member of your choosing, and a friend of your choosing (you can, but don’t have to be close with any of them). You can remain totally anonymous, or choose enter a drawing for a $15 Visa gift card, and/or to receive the summary results of the study. To access the survey, or to learn more about it, visit https://ssp.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_cHk23dMx8klEt1y
If you can possibly help her, please take time to complete the survey and please, also forward to anyone who might be able to participate.   - diane

If you have questions contact:  
Sarah Wilder, University of Nebraska-Lincoln, sedirks@huskers.unl.edu
__________________________________
- HALL PASS – A MARRIAGE MOVIE?
Diane,
This one is raunchy – a buddy movie with jokes pitched to 4th-grade-boys level – but none the less, it packs a strong marriage/anti-infidelity message. And, what’s best is it speaks to men.  I suggest you check it out (it’s on Netflix which is the only way I see movies, these days).  See if you think you might add it to the recommended to your readers and add it to your Recommended Marriage Movies list. It’s by the Farrelly brothers (Something About Marry; Shallow Hal; etc) and has an R rating. Wishing you and your family a happy holiday.
Brenda
 
I’ll try to fit in time to watch it.  Would it be OK for a bunch of teenage grandkids?  
Any comments or suggestions from the rest of you?  If you want to send a movie, it helps if you include a description/recommendation about the Marriage angle.  Here’s the Marriage Movie list: http://tinyurl.com/y9jsp4a
________________________________  
_____________________________
- SIGN OF THE TIMES: GOTTSEX – GOTTMAN INSTITUTE’S SEX TWITTER & iTUNE LESSONS  
A good and hopeful sign – Gottman is on twitter and iTunes!

John and Julie Gottman now have a twitter account – subscribe: at GottSex
Check iTunes for Gottman Lessons like this one with a $1.99 downloadable app of 102 Sex Questions to Ask Women
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sex-questions-to-ask-women/id460855054?mt=8
________________________________
-  FILLED DIAPER BAGS INCENT COUPLES TO ATTEND
(I can’t resist. When I read this headline –Filled Diaper Bags– I had to assume they meant inScentives. And, knowing the Ozarks team, I assume they were punning away and if you can’t laugh you’ll cry.  Because, all joking aside, they’re dealing with one of the most frustrating of conundrums: Marriage Education is such a good thing, but the challenge is how to get couples to take the classes – even when they’re free!  It definitely takes the right inScentive to lead the horses to water and to get them to stay and drink.  Great, creative work!  - diane)

Filled Diaper Bags Incent Expecting Couples to Attend and Complete a Relationship Workshop for Ozarks Marriage Matters

The Challenge: Persuade Disadvantaged Couples to Attend a Lengthy Educational Event
The right promotion can do more than incent event participation; it can also incent event completion. The team at Ozarks Marriage Matters, a non-profit strengthening marriages and reducing the divorce rate in the Ozarks, incented participation for its eight-hour, grant-funded “Hitched (or not) and Hatching” program that equips expecting couples—married or not—with relationship tools. The program was sponsored by the Forest Institute’s Operation Us and the Junior League of Springfield, whose volunteer members also helped run the classes.
The Solution: Give Gender-Neutral Diaper Bags Filled to the Brim with Baby Products
The grant required that couples receive at least eight hours of education, not an easy task when the demographic is economically challenged and has historically had negative schooling experiences. Mindful of their audience, the Ozarks team incented couples to come—and stay—by giving gender-neutral diaper bags overflowing with baby products. The idea was to emblazon pre-class promotional materials with pictures of fully-stocked bags to incent couples to come, but to give the bags at the end of the session to incent them to stay.
The Result: Diaper Bags Fill Workshop to Capacity and Reward Couples for Staying
The Ozarks team reports success, both for their grant-funded organization and for the people of the Ozarks. Pre-promoting the bags filled the workshop to capacity and enticed couples to stay as, during class, they accumulated stickers to exchange for the bags at the end of the day—only couples with full sticker sets were eligible. The team is pleased that the bags overcame participation reluctance and rewarded attending couples, who left feeling good about what they had accomplished for themselves and their children.
_____________________________
- REPORT: FALLING BIRTH, MARRIAGE RATES EXPLAIN GLOBAL ECONOMIC SLOWDOWN
http://tinyurl.com/42eb26w

It’s hard to have a recovery when the Boomers have aged out of the procreation and purchasing cycle.  
This report The Sustainable Demographic Dividend: What Do Marriage & Fertility Have To Do With the Economy? but bears reading.  It details how many of the world's leading economies will soon face major demographic challenges.

. . .In much of the developed world, including almost all of East Asia and Europe, social welfare programs are straining to support surging dependent elderly populations, while productive working-age populations stagnate or shrink because fertility rates have fallen well below the replacement rate of 2.1 children per woman – the level needed to sustain the population over time.
----------------------------------------------------
- MARRIED ADULTS ON BRINK OF BECOMING MINORITY IN U.S.
And, this from today’s Washington Post (12/14/11) confirms the decline.  

. . . A Pew survey last year determined that more than four in 10 Americans younger than 30 consider marriage passe. . . . The slide has worsened with the economy.

. . . -In the 1950s, if you weren’t married, people thought you were mentally ill,- said Andrew Cherlin, a Johns Hopkins University sociologist who studies families. -Marriage was mandatory. Now it’s culturally optional.-

http://tinyurl.com/87v9jkz
________________________________
- GRANT-RELATED OBSERVATIONS

- Diane, In regards to the Marriage/Fatherhood Grants, Washington State got only one grant and it was to a MARRIAGE group TO DO FATHERHOOD work?!?  There used to be 20 small or medium grants for marriage strengthening from various funding sources in HHS . Now that the administration has combined all the smaller pockets, and then gave half to fatherhood, the marriage education effort has taken a big hit across the country. Washington state took a very big hit. Lots of work to do.
----
- Diane, Regarding the grants, you might refer people to Bill Coffin’s Blog site.  He’s now employed by NARME and has moved his Blog there. Expect he’ll cover the grants awards in depth.  It looks like the NARME folks all were funded.    Here’s the link: http://scoop.it/t/narme

-------------------------------------------
- FOR INFORMATION about how to post to the Smart Marriages® newslist;
subscribe or UNSUBSCRIBE, or an archive of all past posts:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/newslist.info.html


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Is Relationship and Marriage Education. Relevant and Appropriate to Child Welfare?


"
 
Healthy Relationship and Marriage Education:
Is Relationship and Marriage Education. Relevant and Appropriate to Child Welfare? NCFR 2011. David G. Schramm. Assistant Professor, Dept. of Human Dev. ...
www.ncfr.org/.../child-welfare-workers-attitudes-and-views-to...

Bill

Join NARME at http://narme.org 
and see Links & Clips, updated daily, at http://scoop.it/t/narme
(send your input for Links and Clips to me at bill@narme.org ) 

Wedding Marathon 2011: Thank You, National Media Coverage

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Carolyn Rich Curtis <info@skills4us.org>
Date: Mon, Dec 12, 2011 at 11:53 AM
Subject: Wedding Marathon 2011: Thank You, National Media Coverage
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


RSC LOGO
New York Times Article
 
The Relationship Skills Center's first annual Wedding Marathon was featured in an article in Sunday's paper: Long Roads That Led, Finally, to the Altar.
Wedding Photos
 
Each couple had the donated services of professional photographers.  To see their beautiful work:  Photo Philanthropists.
Our Deepest Gratitude

 

We thank the many people who made the Wedding Marathon possible:

Tracie Stafford

Bryan Stafford 

Michele West

Pastor Paul Thompson

Ruth Anderson

Joann Richardson

Elfrena Foord

Donald and Krysten Curtis

Robert and Chris Deering

William and Susan Cordonnier

Ann Lucas

David Ljung

James Carroll

Millie Nishita of Flora Fresh

Kerri Costarella of Aba Daba Rents

Janice Stone Thomas

Chandra Domich

Cheryl Thornberry of Christ Community Church of Carmichael

Barbara & Claudia of CakeCastle

Sergio Barrios of Fluid Espresso Bar

Matt Florian of Scott-Naake Paper Company

Kim Chan of ArdenPlaza Cleaners

Reza Kamalian of Pizza Guys

Colors Salon

Mark Hardin of A Big Ticket Sound Experience

Renee Reibel of The Professional Florist

Shari Wise of Events by Wise

Terrance Stokes of Dynomite Music and DJ Services

Maurice Burnett and Carnet Burnett of Bia Salon

Ginger Wong of Transformations Makeup Institute

David Lohse of RioMar Photography

Kimyetta Barron of Kimyetta Barron Photography

Sai Saelee of Saelee Photography

Cyrette Beauchemin Smith of Cyrette Photography

Lisa Riddle Simpson of Digital Wonderland Photography

Leslie Trau of Leslie Trau Photography

Geraldine Lactaoen of Lactaoen Photography

Lacaoen O'Connor of Jennie O'Connor Photography

Tony Lopez of CBS Sacramento

Jennifer Garza of the Sacramento Bee

Louise Rafkin of the New York Times

Dan Roth of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Garry Cox of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Jenifer Cox of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Renee Schuner of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Connie Brown of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Robyn Cox of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Cynthia Bextine of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Violet Pyles of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Joyce Ruthrauff of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Jim Dempsey of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Alice Lee of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Paul Lee of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Peter Hill of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Katie Morris of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Tricia Morris of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Jeanne Rose of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Maureen McMahon of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Susan Hyman of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Brittany Dean of Westminster Presbyterian Church

Marc Brady

Roxana Quintero

Tyler Brown

Joseph Speaker

Dick Wylie

Gail Cullerton

Pamela Anderson

Delisa Verdun

Tonya Copeland

Lester Peterson

Kay Corral

Fred Chavez

 

We could not have done it without you! 

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Relationship Skills Center
9719 Lincoln Village Drive, Suite 503
Sacramento, California 95827
This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by info@skills4us.org |  
Relationship Skills Center | 9719 Lincoln Village Dr. | Suite 503 | Sacramento | CA | 95827