From: USCCB [mailto:marriage@usccb.org]
Sent: Friday, December 06, 2013 12:10 PM
To: billandpatcoffin@verizon.net
Subject: Marriage Monthly: Celebrating Advent as a Family, Bl. Ceferino Gimenez Malla, Six Sacred Rules for Families, "Self-Wedding in a Box" Kit?
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USCCB | 3211 Fourth Street NE | Washington | DC | 20017-1194 |
http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/11/27/the-links-between-education-marriage-and-parenting/
9. New report: 3 in 4 parents living with children are married
NCFR
http://www.ncfr.org/news/new-report-3-4-parents-living-children-are-married
10. The Forever Initiative: A Feasible Public Policy Agenda to Help Couples Form and Sustain Healthy Marriages and Relationships
video of 11/22 event featuring Alan Hawkins
http://www.heritage.org/events/2013/11/forever-initiative
Inst. Family Studies (@FamStudies) tweeted at 9:57 AM on Fri, Nov 22, 2013:
Friday Five: @billcoffin collects the week's best articles on marriage and family issues http://t.co/j2z3ue3IkI
(
)Friday Five: @billcoffin collects the week's best articles on marriage and family issues http://t.co/j2z3ue3IkI
— Inst. Family Studies (@FamStudies) November 22, 2013
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USCCB | 3211 Fourth Street NE | Washington | DC | 20017-1194
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Helping marriages? Get news coverage for yourself.
Here's an exciting and simple idea to get visibility for your own efforts and help people in your town!
1) If you know a terrific marriage educator or a talented local pastor, ask them to give an evening talk on "How to Have a Better Marriage" at a local YMCA, library, church facility, or town hall on either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday night of Feb. 7, 8, or 9th in 2014 -- great nights during National Marriage Week USA to help folks improve their marriages in advance of Valentine's Day. At the event, you can also give couples date night tips so their Valentine's Day will be a good one! Or show a video series if you don't know a talented local speaker. See our website for tips: www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org
2) You can get newspaper and radio coverage! Simply send your local media outlets our sample press release (customize it with your info) and radio Public Service Announcements (PSAs). Also make posters for your February event, using our NMW logo -- get them all at http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/free-campaign-materials.
3) Please ask your friends to LIKE us on Facebook! It posts important news bits such as this week's "New Research shows married couples have FOUR times the wealth of those never married." Click here for that info and LIKE our page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Marriage-Week-USA/191520197543448
4) Be sure to POST for FREE any marriage classes or events you know about, any time of year on the only collaborative national marriage calendar that exists at http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/submitanevent/form/3-submit-an-event
Turning around the decline of marriage will take all of us! We need you reaching out at the local level so that we can do our part at the national level! National Marriage Week USA was recently featured on major national radio -- on the Colson Center's "BreakPoint" and "At Home with Jim and Joy Pinto" (EWTN National Catholic Radio). You can see our recent news coverage here: http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/news-room
Be your city's leader for National Marriage Week USA! Download our 16-page City Event Kit at http://www.nationalmarriageweekusa.org/cityguide
Thank you for being on the team of this national campaign to strengthen marriage!
Sheila Weber
Executive Director
National Marriage Week USA (Feb. 7-14)
www.NationalMarriageWeekUSA.org
sheila@nationalmarriageweekUSA.org
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deannadavis427 posted: "Today is my wedding anniversary - and Jeff and I are celebrating! A few years ago I started marking the date by writing something about marriage in general and my marriage in particular, for Intersections on this day. (Pastexamples are here and here.) A"
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Becky Eldredge: Creating Space to Connect Faith & Everyday Life |
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Marriage Is For Us: The Three of Us Posted: 07 Nov 2013 02:44 PM PST When I first read the article “Marriage Isn’t For You,” I cringed. While on one hand, I agree with the author. Marriage is about loving the other person and about giving to the other person. At the same time, the author’s image of marriage came across to me as a relationship built on martyrdom and self-sacrifice to the point that the spiritual director side of me was screaming “no, no, no!!!” This author’s image makes marriage out to be a one-sided relationship. My fear with this is it sets people up to enter marriage or any significant relationship thinking if they give enough to the other person or do enough for the other person this equates to love. In spiritual direction, the most frequent topic that arises is the other person questioning his or her worthiness to receive God’s love or to receive love from another person. Often, the lack of worthiness comes from feeling they have not done enough or they are not good enough to receive love that is freely given by God. At times, this leads people to feel that they can never give enough to God or to another in order to be loved. To love another, we have to understand that we are loveable, and this is vital to married life. As a Catholic, my understanding of the Sacrament of Marriage is a threefold understanding. First, key to my understanding of marriage is the belief that God loves us first. We do nothing to deserve God’s love, and we can do nothing to earn this love. It is a gift freely given to us by God. God’s love for us is unconditional. Often the hardest part about being in relationship with God is opening ourselves up to fully receive God’s love. In marriage, it is important to remember that both husband and wife are loved first by God. It is only because we are loved by God that we are capable of loving others. Second, as husband and wife, we are called to be open to both giving love and receiving love. As humans, one of the ways we can wrap our heads around a piece of God’s love for us is the love we experience from another person – a spouse, a parent, a friend, a relative, a mentor, a significant other, etc. In marriage, love is a two-way street. We are called to be active participants in receiving God’s love both from God and from our spouse. At the same time, we are called to be active participants in giving of our love, God’s love, freely to our spouse, and at the same time, return our love to God. To me, this is sacramental living, the ongoing encounter with God, both through our personal relationship with God and through our relationship with our spouse. It involves both giving loving and receiving love. Being loved by God and by my husband, Chris, allows me to love in return. Chris models Christ for me in how he loves me, and I am called to love Chris in the same way Christ loves. Third, while Chris and I are called to be witnesses of God’s love to each other, I believe there is also an outward element to our married life. In the Nuptial blessing offered at our wedding, the words of the prayer were, “Give them strength…so they may be witnesses of Christ to others”. As a married couple, we are called to be signs of hope for others of God’s love. While this is a challenging task to live up to, I know that Chris and I hope that our marriage is a sign of God’s love for our children. We also hope that we live our marriage in a way that is a sign of God’s love for others. This means that marriage is for more than just the couple as well, it is a sign of God’s love out in the world. To live out the vocation of marriage, though, marriage cannot be one-sided. To live up to this call, I cannot see marriage being only about one person giving. It is about all of us- God, husband, wife. Just as God loves us and wants us to love God, we are called to love one another in this same way of mutual giving and receiving of love so that we can be witnesses of God’s love in the world. |
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Reform of No Fault Divorce – Family Research Council Panel Tomorrow
I will be participating tomorrow in a panel discussion at the Family Research Council on “Why Divorce Must Decline for America to Prosper.” It will begin at noon, and can b e seen on line. Here is a link to the FRC announcement about it:
: http://www.frc.org/eventregistration/devastation-why-divorce-must-decline-for-america-to-prosper
In my remarks, I will provide evidence that America’s divorce rate could be cut in half. In fact, I wrote a short book with the title, How To Cut America’s Divorce Rate in Half: A Strategy Every State Should Adopt.
Last year there were 1.2 million divorces in America compared to 2.2 million marriages, according to Census. In fact, there has been one divorce for every two marriages every year since 1975. We have become so inured to this 50% divorce rate, that few realize the U.S. divorce rate is triple that of Britain or France. After 5 years of marriage 23% of Americans have divorced, but only 8% of the British or French. Why? If a British wife wants a divorce, but her husband is opposed, they have to wait 5 years to get divorced. In France, the delay is 6 years. Five or six years allows a lot of time for reconciliation!
By contrast, 25 states have a zero waiting period or only 20-60 days. No wonder the U.S. divorce rate is off the charts. These states have laws that actually encourage divorce.
Only two states – Illinois and Pennsylvania – allow a two-year waiting period if a divorce is contested. Result: Their divorce rates are about half that of 10 “Hot Head” states with a zero wailing period: Wyoming, Idaho, Kentucky, Mississippi, Florida, Tennessee, New Mexico, New Hampshire, Nevada and Oregon.
Therefore, one obvious reform of No Fault Divorce is to require at least a year before a divorce is granted – and two years, if the divorce is contested. That step alone could cut the divorce rate in half of Hot Head States with zero waiting. Another step that could help enormously is to require couples with children to take classes on the impact of divorce on children. An unhappy spouse with children tends to rationalize: “Kids are resilient. They will bounce back.”
No, they won’t. I will quote Michael Reagan, the adopted son of Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman, who wrote of his parents’ divorce:
“Divorce is where two adults take everything that matters to a
child – the child’s home, family, security, and sense of being loved
and protected – and they smash it all up, leave it in ruins on the
floor, then walk out and leave the child to clean up the mess.”
Another answer is to require divorcing couples to take classes during the year’s delay to improve their skills of communication and conflict resolution. One reason many divorce is that they do not know how to argue respectfully. Fortunately, that can be taught.
The Parental Divorce Reduction Act
Beverly Willett, the co-founder of the Coalition Divorce Reform, will outline a bill, the Parental Divorce Reduction Act, which could be adopted by any state. It contains three important elements:
· A requirement that couples with children take a four-hour course on the impact of divorce on children before a divorce is filed. Hopefully, many couples would decide to improve their marriage rather than walk away from each other and their kids. This proposal was first proposed by Dr. Bill Doherty of the Un. of Minnesota and former Georgia Chief Justice Leah Ward Sears, in a report, Second Chances, published by the Institute for Amerian Values.
· A minimum waiting “Period of Reflection and Reconciliation,” of 8 months during which couples could continue living under the same roof, if desired. All states with waiting periods force the couple to separate - which only encourages dating and divorce.
· The taking of a course to improve couple communication and skills to resolve conflict during the Period of Reflection and Reconciliation.
Three states have been giving these proposals serious consideration, as I reported in the attached column published by the AFA Journal in September:
1. Georgia, a state with only a 30-day waiting period, which would be stretched to a year, if the state passed a brilliantly named bill, the “Hope for Family Life Act,” that has been advanced by a divorced dad, Greg Griffin (770 310-7190). He has personally met with Gov. Nathan Deal and with 21 of the state’s 56 senators.
2. Texas held two hearings this year, prodded by Jonathan Saenz, Director of Texas Values, the Family Policy Council for Texas (JSaenz@TXValues.org). That bill would increase the waiting period from 60 days to 6 months.
3. North Carolina now requires one-year delay. A proposed Healthy Marriage Act would double that to two years.
One criticism I will make is that America’s religious leaders seem utterly disinterested in the nation’s divorce rate. I do not know of a single leader who has advocated any reform of No Fault Divorce – Catholic or Protestant.
Please call me with any questions you may have, or tune in tomorrow, which can be watched on line at FRC.org.
Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers.
He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column,
Ethics & Religion.
Potomac, MD 20854
Come, Lord Jesus! The Advent season began on Sunday, December 1st. Wife and mother Maruska Healy shares suggestions for how to celebrate Advent in your home. These include the Jesse tree, nativity scene, special feast days, and more.
December's Married Saint of the Month is Bl. Ceferino Gimenez Malla. A married layman from Spain, Ceferino and his wife Teresa had no children of their own but adopted Teresa's niece. Ceferino had a reputation for holiness and died defending a Catholic priest from soldiers.
With Christmas around the corner, Stacey reflects on the meaning of giving and of gratitude. She writes about an experience that prompted her to realize that the best gift of all is the gift of self.
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