Fwd: Latest Scoops on Healthy Marriage Links and Clips

Or you could follow me here http://www.scoop.it/t/healthy-marriage-links-and-clips to get daily news.

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Date: Thu, Apr 17, 2014 at 9:01 PM
Subject: Latest Scoops on Healthy Marriage Links and Clips
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Fwd: Doha Conference Newsletter Issue 03, March 2014

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From: <difi.list@difi.org.qa>
Date: Mon, Mar 31, 2014 at 6:49 AM
Subject: Doha Conference Newsletter Issue 03, March 2014
To: newsletter@difi.org.qa


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Doha International Conference Newsletter March 2014
Issue 03
MainBanner2014a.jpg

Empowering Families: A Pathway to Development

16-17 April 2014, Qatar National Convention Centre, Doha

Welcome Message

Mrs-Noor-thumbnail.jpg

Welcome to the third issue of our newsletter for the Doha International Conference to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the International Year of the Family, which will be held on 16–17 April 2014.

The theme of the conference, “Empowering Families: A Pathway to Development” highlights the contribution of families to the overall development of societies. In the plenary session of day 2 of the conference, we will discuss how to anchor the family in the post-2015 agenda, and will stress that development targets, especially those relating to education and health, are difficult to attain unless the strategies to achieve them are family-focused.

We also anticipate having an animated discussion on day 2 of the conference regarding two overlapping sessions: ‘Men in Families’ and ‘Families and Gender Equality’. No discussion about the family is complete without a discussion on the roles, responsibilities, and contribution that men and women make to families. You do not want to miss this discussion!

I invite you to check out our conference website for more information on the session topics and distinguished speakers.

See you soon in Doha.

Noor Al Malki Al Jehani
Executive Director DIFI
Conference Committee Chairperson

Conference Objectives

The 2014 Doha International Conference is a non-governmental gathering and will constitute a global platform for discussion and debate where policy-makers, NGOs, experts, academics, and other relevant stakeholders from around the world will share their views and experiences regarding the centrality of the family and its role in the society. The event will stress the need to strengthen and empower the family as an institution to cope with challenges in this time of economic crisis and political turmoil. It will also provide an opportunity to highlight the important role of the family as an active agent in overall development.

Conference Agenda (Day 2)

The 2014 Doha International Conference is an international gathering that provides guidance and recommendations to institutions at all levels and seeks to influence family policies with evidence-based research regarding many issues. On day 2 of the conference, participants will reflect on how family policy development can be promoted within the discussions of the post-2015 development agenda. The day 2 sessions will represent high quality dialogue that will include significant topics such as ‘Family and Gender Equality’, ‘Men in Families’, ‘Family Data and Research’, ‘National Institutions and Family Policy’, and ‘Family and Civil Society’.

Speakers

Nassir Abdulaziz Al-Nasser

H.E. Nassir Abdulaziz Al Nasser, UN High Representative of the Alliance of Civilizations

Ronald_wiman-web.jpg

Ronald Wiman, Development Manager, National Institute for Health and Welfare (THL)

Dr.-Ahmed-Abdel-Monem---web.JPG

Ahmed Abdel Monem, Manager of the Pan Arab Project for Family Health (PAPFAM), League of Arab States (LAS)

 

Tom-Beardshaw-web.jpg

Tom Beardshaw, Former Deputy Executive Director of UNICEF and Assistant Clinical Professor Yale School of Medicine, Child Study Center

To know more about conference speakers please visit the website.

About DIFI

difi_noName.jpgAcknowledging the importance of the family in society, Doha International Family Institute (DIFI), formerly known as Doha International Institute for Family Studies and Development, was established in 2006 by Her Highness Sheikha Moza bint Nasser, Chairperson of Qatar Foundation. The mandate of the Institute is based upon the affirmations set forth in the Doha Declaration on the Family, which was the outcome of the Doha International Conference on the Family.

The Institute has a special consultative status with the United Nations Economic and Social Council.

DIFI’s vision is to be recognized as a global knowledge leader on issues facing the Arab family through research, policy, and outreach. Its mission is to support the aims of the 2004 Doha Declaration on the Family.

Follow DIFI on social media

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Copyright © 2014 Doha International Family Institute. All rights reserved.

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Fwd: [New post] Making that Application Shine Against All the Competition

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From: The Grant Advisors <comment-reply@wordpress.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 28, 2014 at 11:51 AM
Subject: [New post] Making that Application Shine Against All the Competition
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Frank Klimko posted: "The Grant Advisors are mindful that even as the economy continues on its uneven recovery, competition out there is still extremely tough. There has been an ongoing trend of funders cutting funding or dropping out of the pictures. The best way for a grants"
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New post on The Grant Advisors

Making that Application Shine Against All the Competition

by Frank Klimko

The Grant Advisors are mindful that even as the economy continues on its uneven recovery, competition out there is still extremely tough. There has been an ongoing trend of funders cutting funding or dropping out of the pictures. The best way for a grants seeker to stay in the game is to make sure they burnish that application to make sure it stands out in the crowd.

"The job of the grant writer has become much more challenging," Grant Advisors Ray Sweeney and Frank Klimko say.

Budgets

In order to be as competitive as possible, it is essential for grantseekers to spend the time necessary to create a realistic budget. Funders want to be sure that their program investments make the biggest bang possible, she says. They are savvy about what things cost and if they receive a proposal with wild guesses as to what things cost, they are very likely to just toss that application aside in favor of one where the grant seekers did their homework, she says. In the box at the bottom, we provide a good primer on foundations and grant writing.

Read more of this post

Frank Klimko | March 28, 2014 at 11:49 am | Categories: Grantseeking, Tips | URL: http://wp.me/p4gbvs-78

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Fwd: Conversation with NYU Professor Lawrence Mead on marriage and inequality

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Josephine Tramontano" <josephine@americanvalues.org>
Date: Mar 28, 2014 10:17 AM
Subject: Conversation with NYU Professor Lawrence Mead on marriage and inequality
To: "David Blankenhorn" <blankenhorn@americanvalues.org>
Cc:

The question was “Is the marriage gap driving inequality?” -- but we also talk about what marriage is and (my favorite part) how Larry Mead sees the world.  It was a terrific conversation, now edited into this one-hour podcast.  I hope you can give it a listen!  Feedback welcome.  

 

 

Fwd: Reminder: Special Workshops - RE/Filial Methods + AFREM Community Meeting

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From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 8:01 PM
Subject: Reminder: Special Workshops - RE/Filial Methods + AFREM Community Meeting
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


 

Special Workshops on Relationship Enhancement® and Filial Methods

Co-Sponsored by

National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE) and Association for Filial and Relationship Enhancement® Methods (AFREM)

Held in Conjunction with the 2014 AFREM Community Sharing and Connecting Meeting

April 25-26, 2014 in Bethesda, MD

Community Sharing and Connecting Meeting

Facilitator: Robert Brown, Member of the Board of IDEALS, the larger organization supporting AFREM and NIRE

Everyone with an interest in Relationship Enhancement Methods, Filial and Child-Centered Play Therapy is encouraged to attend this meeting! We want to know you more, hear about your work and passion for these approaches, and help you connect with others. Our purpose is to exchange ideas and share in each others’ enthusiasm for helping persons in need through RE, Filial and CCPT. Participants will have an opportunity to share what is working for them and excites and motivates them, including how they are using these various models, what innovations or modifications they have found useful, and how these programs are being used in the US and other countries. Please come and let us know you, while seeking support and connections for your work and helping us all expand our expertise in applying the methods.

Organized Friday Night Dutch Treat Dinner

This year’s traditional “Dutch Treat” dinner will be held on Friday night April 25. This well attended event always proves to be a fun time to connect and relax with friends and colleagues around the dinner table. Please join us if you can! Details below. And please RSVP so we can properly plan with the restaurant.

CE Workshops

In conjunction with AFREM’s annual meeting, the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE) and AFREM are co-sponsoring three special workshops on Friday April 25 and Saturday April 26.

Friday will include two half-day workshops. The morning workshop is entitled “The Young Child as Person: The Development of Healthy Conscience.”

The Friday afternoon workshop is entitled “Group Filial Therapy.”

Saturday will feature two 1.5 hour workshops. The first workshop is entitled “The Neurobiology of Empathy.”

The second 1.5 hour workshop is entitled “Let Me Walk a Mile in Your Shoes—With Your Corns and Calluses: Using Empathy for Context to Help Clients Get Unstuck.”

Each Friday workshop qualifies for 3 CE credits.

Each Saturday workshop qualifies for 1.5 CE credits.

Registration

Registration information may be found below.

AFREM Special Workshops Registration Form

Friday Workshops

The Young Child as Person: The Development of Healthy Conscience

Presenters: Maryhelen Snyder, Ph.D. and Nancy Cochran, MA, CAS, LMHC

Friday, April 25, 9:00 a.m. - 12:15 p.m. 3 CE credits

This very practical book describes in anecdotal detail and with theoretical clarity the foundations and practices that enhance the development of conscience in young children. All the ideas and premises of this book are congruent with Filial Therapy - largely because both approaches are grounded in Rogerian insights and practices.

Mel Snyder will present the three basic convictions about the young child that are at the heart of what the authors call "the justice culture."  She will also clarify what is meant by active understanding, enabling a child to function and constructive caring.

Nancy Cochran who is currently active in working with the young child in school and family settings, will discuss case examples and practical applications.

Note: The revised edition of the book by this title (authored primarily by Martha Snyder) will be in print and available from Watermelon Mountain Press (at Amazon) and at the workshop.

Learning Objectives: Upon completion of this workshop, participants will be able to:

  1. To learn the rationale and experiential support for the three basic convictions about children that inform the "Justice Culture"; to learn and be able to illustrate the basic aspects of a justice culture that is co-created with children.
  2. To learn what is (and what is not) meant by "active understanding"; to be able to apply this practice to real life situations.
  3. Participants will be better able to identify and therefore provide empathy and “active understanding” with young children by discussing examples as seen and demonstrated in video examples of CCPT sessions.

Maryhelen Snyder, Ph.D. has been a mental health professional for 40 years, specializing much of that time in Relationship Enhancement therapy. She has authored many professional articles and book chapters and been an adjunct professor at the University of New Mexico Medical School. She is also a poet. Her recent book "Sun in an Empty Room" has a similar focus to her therapy work, which is wildly celebrative of human beings and human possibilities.

Nancy H. Cochran, MA, CAS, LMHC is an adjunct assistant professor for the Department of Educational Psychology and Counseling at the University of Tennessee, and Treatment Coordinator for the REACH (Relationship Enhancement and Child Harmony) Project.  She is certified as a Child-Centered Play Therapy Supervisor by the National Institute for Relationship Enhancement (NIRE) and regularly provides post-masters supervision in Child-Centered Play Therapy. Nancy is co-author with her husband Jeff of The Heart of Counseling: A Guide to Developing Therapeutic Relationships (Thomson Brooks/Cole, 2006) and co-author with her husband Jeff and Dr. Bill Nordling of Child Centered Play Therapy: A Practical Guide to Developing Therapeutic Relationships with Children (Wiley, 2010). 

Group Filial Therapy

Presenter: Louise Guerney, Ph.D.

Friday, April 25, 2:00 - 5:15 p.m. 3 CE credits

This workshop will present a description of group filial therapy; the advantages of working with a group; added complexities in working with filial groups; a brief summary of relevant supportive research; the role of the therapist in leading a filial play group; and a live role-play demonstration of a filial play group with audience members taking on roles of parents in a group.

Learning objectives: Participants attending this workshop will be able to:

  1. Describe criteria for setting up group filial therapy
  2. Describe the advantages and complexities of group filial therapy
  3. Describe how to structure group filial therapy to maximize parental learning

Dinner, Friday Night, 6:30 p.m. Dutch Treat.

Following the Friday afternoon workshop, those who are interested will go out together as a group for dinner for fun, relaxation and an opportunity to connect with friends and colleagues. If you are interested in joining the group for dinner: Please be certain to sign up on the Registration Form. Advance payment is not necessary, but we do need to be able to give an accurate count to the restaurant.

Saturday Workshops

The Neurobiology of Empathy

Presenter: Maryhelen Snyder, Ph.D.

Saturday, April 26, 9:00 - 10:30 a.m. 1.5 CE Credits

Brain research continues to support and qualify and quantify the amazing phenomenon of human empathy, the capacity that is at the very heart of the Relationship Enhancement family of therapies. In this workshop, I shall give an overview of that research to date. The workshop will include didactic, discussion, and practice components.

Learning Objectives: Upon completion of this workshop, participants will be able to:

  1. Describe the basics of "interpersonal neurobiology" on the two levels of (a) brain and body findings that clarify what is happening on a neurophysiological level when we empathize and (b) research regarding what happens in the therapy or training session that transforms subjective experience and close relationships.
  2. Apply these findings - and match the subjective (phenomenological) experience of attunement to self and other with the brain discoveries that support the subjective phenomena.
  3. Distinguish different therapeutic practices and approaches in regard to their alignment with neurophysiological research.

Maryhelen Snyder, Ph.D. has been a mental health professional for 40 years, specializing much of that time in Relationship Enhancement therapy. She has authored many professional articles and book chapters and been an adjunct professor at the University of New Mexico Medical School. She is also a poet. Her recent book "Sun in an Empty Room" has a similar focus to her therapy work, which is wildly celebrative of human beings and human possibilities.

Let Me Walk a Mile in Your Shoes—With Your Corns and Calluses: Using Empathy for Context to Help Clients Get Unstuck

Presenter: Mary Ortwein, MS, LMFT

Saturday, April 26, 11:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.   1.5 CE Credits

Empathy is one of the Relationship Enhancement® therapist’s most valuable tools. Yet sometimes empathy does not quite work to move a client or client couple to a place where something new is possible. In this workshop you will learn how to expand empathy to include context in order to move people past blocks. Contextual empathy includes entering into someone’s worldview and working from the inside. During this workshop participants will learn a rationale for contextual empathy, observe how it works, and practice using it.

Learning Objectives: Upon completion of this workshop, participants will be able to:

  1. Identify when and how to use contextual empathy in client scenarios
  2. Practice the use of contextual empathy
  3. Apply contextual empathy to a current client situation

Mary Ortwein, MS, LMFT is Founder of IDEALS for Families and Communities (IFC) in Frankfort, Kentucky. She is the co-author with Bernard Guerney of nine Relationship Enhancement® curricula, including Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML).

Community Sharing and Connecting Meeting

Saturday, April 26, 2:00 – 4:00 p.m. No CE Credit.

Facilitator: Robert Brown, Member of the Board of IDEALS, the larger organization supporting AFREM and NIRE

Everyone with an interest in Relationship Enhancement Methods, Filial and Child-Centered Play Therapy is encouraged to attend this meeting! We want to know you more, hear about your work and passion for these approaches, and help you connect with others. Our purpose is to exchange ideas and share in each others’ enthusiasm for helping persons in need through RE, Filial and CCPT. Participants will have an opportunity to share what is working for them and excites and motivates them, including how they are using these various models, what innovations or modifications they have found useful, and how these programs are being used in the US and other countries. Please come and let us know you, while seeking support and connections for your work and helping us all expand our expertise in applying the methods.

Registration Information

Location: The AFREM annual meeting and workshops will be held at the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® (NIRE) conference suite on the Roof level of the Topaz House at 4400 East-West Highway, Bethesda, MD. The Topaz House is located six miles from the White House and Georgetown. NIRE is less than three blocks from the Bethesda metro stop.

Parking: Parking on Friday may be available at the Topaz House’s underground garage on a first come first served basis. There is a public parking lot at East-West Highway and Waverly Street, a block and a half from the Topaz House. Be certain to bring plenty of quarters for the public parking lot. The cost is $.75 per hour in long term parking; plan on 9 hours, i.e., $6.75. [Be prepared! Parking rates may have gone up!] Parking is free on Saturday. On Saturday parking should be easier at Topaz House, and is free at the public parking lot.

Schedule: Each Friday CE workshop will be 3 hours long. There will be one 15 minute break during each workshop. Each Saturday CE workshop will be 1.5 hours long. There will be one 30 minute break between those two workshops. The AFREM Annual Meeting will be held on Saturday afternoon beginning at 2:00 p.m.

Refreshments: Starting at 8:40 a.m., and available all day, each day, there will be a sidebar with fruit, coffee and tea, soda, and snacks.

CE Credits: IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for each program and its content. IDEALS/NIRE also is approved by the National Board of Certified Counselors to provide continuing education for National Certified Counselors. NBCC Provided #5560. IDEALS/NIRE is approved by the Maryland State Board of Social Workers to offer Category 1 continuing education programs for social workers. NIRE also is approved by the Association for Play Therapy to offer continuing education specific to play therapy. APT Approved Provider 95-009. IDEALS/NIRE maintains responsibility for the program.

Each half-day workshop on Friday will earn attendees 3 CE credits. Each Saturday workshop will earn attendees 1.5 CE credits. CE credit is not available for the AFREM Annual Meeting.

A Certificate will be issued to you attesting to your completion of each workshop attended and documenting the CE credits you have earned.

Cost

  • The regular registration fee for each 3-hour workshop is $60. The regular registration fee for each 1.5 hour workshop is $30. 
  • The fee for post-graduate professionals who have not been fully licensed at the independent practitioner level is $30 for each 3-hour workshop, and $15 for each 1.5-hour workshop.
  • The fee for currently enrolled, full-time graduate students is $10.00 for each workshop, or $30 for all four workshops.

Lunch: Lunch each day is the responsibility of each participant, though arrangements will be made to provide lunch on Saturday prior to the AFREM Community and Sharing Meeting for those who wish. The cost will be $10.00 per person.Please see the registration form below for details.

Optional Friday Night Dinner (Dutch Treat): Many participants at past AFREM annual meeting workshops have enjoyed each other’s company over dinner at a restaurant in Bethesda. We will do the same this year, on Friday, April 25 at 6:30 p.m. While prepayment is not necessary, it is necessary for planning purposes to know who plans to attend, so please indicate on the registration form that you would like to attend the dinner so that we can make appropriate arrangements and reserve table space for our group. Some participants may also choose to go out to dinner on Saturday evening, but that will not be a formally organized event.

Travel: For those coming by air: NIRE is 15 miles from Washington National, 22 miles from Baltimore-Washington, and 18 miles from Dulles Airports. For those coming by car: NIRE is two miles south of the Connecticut Avenue exit or the Wisconsin Avenue exit of the Beltway (I-495).

Municipal parking is very close and is free on Saturday (at Waverly and East-West Highway). Be certain to bring plenty of quarters to feed the meter for parking on Friday. The cost is $.75 per hour in long term parking; plan on 9 hours, i.e., $6.75. Parking is free on Saturday. All registrants will be sent a map detailing how to reach NIRE.

Accommodations: Discounted hotel rooms are available at the Bethesda Court Hotel. To secure the discounted rate, please call 1-800-874-0050 and ask for the “NIRE” rate, which for 2014 is $129 per night Thursday through Sunday, plus a $15.00 per night fee for parking. This discounted rate is available until the hotel reaches a certain point of capacity for the respective dates, so you are advised to make reservations as early as possible. Information about alternative accommodations can be provided when you register.

For Further Information about arrangements, call Chriss Stanton, at 301-680-8977.

Registration

To register, please

(1) call NIRE at (our new number) 301-680-8977

(2) send your Registration Form by fax to (our new fax number) 502-226-7088

or (3) mail your Registration Form and check to (our new Administrative Office address) IDEALS/NIRE, Admin. Office, 306 West Main Street, #507, Frankfort, KY 40601. 

Caution: Do not send credit card information via email.

Registration Form

AFREM Special Workshops Registration Form

We look forward to seeing you there!

Rob Scuka, Ph.D.
Executive Director
National Institute of Relationship Enhancement®


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Fwd: [New Post] Marriage is Not a Convenience Store

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From: UnTangled <drkellyflanagan@gmail.com>
Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2014 at 6:04 AM
Subject: [New Post] Marriage is Not a Convenience Store
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


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Marriage is Not a Convenience Store

By Dr. Kelly Flanagan on Mar 26, 2014 04:00 am

What do an all-inclusive resort, a mobile device, a phone company, and marriage all have in common? We have come to expect the same thing from all of them: one-stop, all-in-one convenience.

marriage

Photo Credit: TheFutureIsUnwritten via Compfight cc

Last August, my wife and I attended a conference in Honolulu. The hotel had three restaurants, two bars, six gift shops, a convenience store, a business center, two pools, and beach access. You could fly to Hawaii and have a perfect vacation, without ever leaving your hotel.

All-inclusive convenience.

As consumers, we have come to expect this.

An iPhone is a one-stop shop in our pockets: phone, email, text, iPod, maps, news, personal calendar, family calendar, eBook reader(s), weather forecasts, Netflix and YouTube, and the list goes on and on.

All-in-one convenience.

As consumers, we have been trained to feel entitled to this.

In Chicago, AT&T bundles home phone, mobile phone, internet, and cable service. They recently added home security. I wonder when they’ll add babysitting to the bundle. I bet they’re beta testing it right now.

As consumers, we’ve been sold a lucrative lie called convenience, and it has infiltrated every aspect of our lives.

Including marriage.

Why Marriage is Ripping

In the last several decades, we have come to expect our marriages to serve an endless list of functions for us. We want our marriages to be the place we find romance and friendship and community and entertainment and security and self-esteem and direction and purpose and meaning.

Marriage has become life’s ultimate convenience store—an existential one-stop shop expected to meet all of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.

I think the biggest threat to marriage is this idealized, consumer-oriented, convenience store mentality we now bring to our wedding day.

Because when we act like we’re marrying a Walgreen’s instead of a person, marriage becomes an end unto itself. It becomes our one focus, our one purpose, and our one source of satisfaction. Our lives shrink as the expectations of our partner expand.

Many of us have put all our existential eggs in the marriage basket. And the basket is ripping beneath the strain of it. So then we compound the problem by spending all of our time trying to stitch the marriage back together, hoping it will hold all of our hopes and expectations again.

Maybe, instead, we need to spend some of our time finding other baskets.

Marriage is Not an All-Inclusive Hotel

I suppose it sounds like I’m recommending infidelity or lukewarm love or questionable commitment, but I’m not. I’m suggesting we will become more loving and more committed when we quit making marriage the only place we find purpose and meaning.

Last August, we were with friends in Honolulu, and one of them got angry about the all-inclusive hotel and its plethora of services. He said it was the hotel’s way of tricking people into spending all their time and money there, discouraging guests from going out into the city and seeing the beautiful island.

He insisted on spending most of his time outside of the hotel, discovering new things. Then, after a day of exploring, he would return to the hotel to rest and recover.

I think that’s how marriage is supposed to work. It’s not supposed to be the one place we experience satisfaction in life. It’s supposed to be the place we return to—the safe place to recover—after we have ventured out into the world, to explore, to discover, to live.

Marriage is the Hub of a Rebellion

What if we can’t find enduring purpose and meaning in marriage alone, because it’s simply not there to be found? What if purpose and meaning are found as we venture out into the world,

discovering we are strong enough to endure and good enough no matter what,

discovering a community or a cause that echoes the cry of our heart,

discovering how our gifts fit the needs of a broken world,

discovering how to love the unloveable (including ourselves),

discovering the grace that contains it all,

and discovering the courage to live all of it one day at a time.

Marriage is not an existential convenience store or an all-inclusive bundle of emotional services. Marriage is not the place we fight for good thingsit’s the place we return to after we fight for good things, in ourselves and out in the world. It’s the place we return to:

to celebrate our victories,

to mourn our losses,

to lick our wounds,

to regain our strength,

and to be sent back out into the world again.

When lived in this way, our marriages become a celebration—a place of rejoicing and encouragement and support—and the hub of a rebellion against a world riddled with shame, meaninglessness, loneliness, despair and darkness. 

Two people living with that kind of purpose become a light no darkness can withstand. 

Last night, in the midst of a “family cleaning night,” I heard my daughter in her room, cleaning up and making up a silly song of her own: “By myself this is too hard, but together, we can do it. Together, we can do anything.”

Yes.

Marriage isn’t everything. But from within it, we can do anything.

Question: Do you agree or disagree with this view of marriage? Why or why not? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

—————

To read more about marriage as a rebellion, pick up a copy of my eBook, The Marriage Manifesto: Turning Your World Upside Down. It’s available free to new blog subscribers. If you are not yet a subscriber, you can click here to subscribe, and your confirmation e-mail will include a link to download the eBook. Or, the book is also available for Kindle and Nook.

—————

Audio: Click here to here an audio version of this post.

Next Post: A Daddy’s Letter to His Bossy Little Girl

Disclaimer: My writings represent a combination of my own personal opinions and my professional experiences, but they do not reflect professional advice. Interaction with me via the blog does not constitute a professional therapeutic relationship. For professional and customized advice, you should seek the services of a counselor who can dedicate the hours necessary to become more intimately familiar with your specific situation. I do not assume liability for any portion or content of material on the blog and accept no liability for damage or injury resulting from your decision to interact with the website.



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Fwd: [New post] Um, This Would Be Fascinating If It Wasn't...You Know...Me

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: INTERSECTIONS <comment-reply@wordpress.com>
Date: Mon, Mar 24, 2014 at 1:15 AM
Subject: [New post] Um, This Would Be Fascinating If It Wasn’t…You Know…Me
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


deannadavis427 posted: "A year and a half ago, our lives changed forever.  In the morning, we suspected Jeff had an ulcer.  By the evening, he was in emergency surgery to remove a blockage in his colon.  It was cancerous.  When it was over, I was talking with his surgeon in one "
Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on INTERSECTIONS

Um, This Would Be Fascinating If It Wasn’t…You Know…Me

by deannadavis427

A year and a half ago, our lives changed forever.  In the morning, we suspected Jeff had an ulcer.  By the evening, he was in emergency surgery to remove a blockage in his colon.  It was cancerous.  When it was over, I was talking with his surgeon in one of the little rooms off to the side of the waiting room.  It was then, she asked me a question.

"Are you squeamish?"

Because, looking back, I was clearly in denial...and because I had no experience yet in what exactly a surgeon might possibly mean by this... I told her I was a former biology teacher who had done numerous dissections.  I had a pretty strong stomach.  So when she asked if I wanted to see a picture of Jeff's intestines,  I said in that enthusiastically optimistic way Davises do, "Sure, I'll take a look."

I am not a TMI writer and I don't want to gross anyone out but…his guts were so sick…so inflamed and infected that it looked like balloon animals were exploding out of his abdominal cavity.  I could go on with the description, but... sit with that image a minute.

And in one of those moments of unintentional clarity, I blurted out words that have stuck with me ever since.  I said, "Um, this would be so fascinating if it wasn't…you know... my husband."  And then, as my intellect collided with my heart and life, the gravity of it all began to sink in.  Emotion began to rise and my stomach started moving in that way that let me know it was time to look away.

Who knew... I actually was squeamish.

A season of life has passed and now I am in graduate school studying marriage and family therapy.  I am on my way to becoming a counselor who, hopefully, will walk with people when their insides are hurting and need attention…or when they are in metaphorical waiting rooms of their own, wondering just what the hell happened to their world...

My days are often spent learning about the many ways people and families can be wounded and broken.   I love what I am studying and could read and discuss it till the cows come home.  For the most part, I can't wait to get out there and enter the world of helping. (Did I mention I can be enthusiastically optimistic?)

Sometimes, I find myself flashing back to my waiting room moment…where the consequences of something  on a piece of paper became very personal to me.

I see all the more clearly now that these things I am learning about...Dysfunction.  Shame.  Fear.  Loneliness.  Grief.  Unhealthy boundaries.  Anger. Emotional woundedness.  Trauma.  Painful memories.  These topics aren't just ideas in books.  They are real things that happen in people's lives.  And not just to others, but to me.  These are the things that, if I were to make the right incision, just might pop like balloon animals out of me too.  I am more fully awakening to the realization that I am living what I am studying.  I always have been.  And in these moments when I glimpse the reality of the spiritual cancer that lies inside of me, inside of all of us, these words are echoing through my heart, "Um, this would be fascinating if it wasn't…you know…me."

Coming face to face with the depth and significance of one's (read "my") mess can be a weighty experience.  Coming face to face with Jesus, not just on the pages of a book, but as a Person who is with me...in the middle of all the emotion and pain…it is fascinating and horrifying… and so absolutely fittingly beautiful.

While the messiness of it all sometimes scares me, it seems to energize Him.  Thank goodness.

Hopefully, a counselor who knows Jesus as Healer for herself, is a better travel companion for one who is hurting, than someone who has just read about the process and the Savior in a book.   Hopefully, I am on the path to becoming both book smart AND experienced.  That waiting room a year and a half ago was an important stop along the way.

deannadavis427 | March 24, 2014 at 1:00 am | Tags: cancer, Christian counseling, counseling | Categories: counseling | URL: http://wp.me/pVnic-2f9

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Fwd: RE/MML-based CoupleTalk Video Program is Officially Launched

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Sat, Mar 22, 2014 at 10:00 PM
Subject: RE/MML-based CoupleTalk Video Program is Officially Launched
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


We are really thrilled to be able to announce the release of Alex and Don Flecky's RE/MML-based, 10 session video CoupleTalk Program designed to make the Relationship Enhancement® skills even more accessible in a highly sophisticated and user-friendly format. 

CoupleTalk will be an ideal vehicle to help local congregations and other community-based groups help couples have the best possible relationship that they can have.

Please note that there is a special 50% release discount being offered through March 31, 2014. Details below.

Also, to whet your appetite, here are three endorsements of the CoupleTalk Program.

"Hands down the best video-based program for couples!"
- Jason Krafsky, author of Facebook and Your Marriage and Before I Do, and Director of Communications and Marketing at Healthy Relationships California

"In a class by itself! These are not talking heads - I promise! I have seen a lot of programs that don’t have much effect on improving marriages. What Don and Alex have put together is different! The couples who go through CoupleTalk have a stronger relationship with one another and with God! They don’t just learn short lessons on communication & help couples learn to connect with one another at a deeper level, for a lifetime.."
- Dave Carder, MFT, Author of Torn Asunder and Pastor of Counseling Ministries at First Evangelical Free Church, Fullerton, CA

"We had over 50 couples show up. They really enjoyed it, but it also stretched them. They felt like they had been through something really important for their relationship. You’d be doing your families and couples and church a favor by bringing it into your community. It will create awesome marriages!"
- Pastor Gene Maynard, Senior Pastor, Bayside Church, Auburn, CA

Benefit from the program yourselves, and help your communities at the same time with this original and outstanding presentation of the Relationship Enhancement® skills.

Rob Scuka, Ph.D.
Executive Director
NIRE 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
  Twitter icon     Forward icon  
 
 
 
 

CoupleTalk is Officially Launched!!!

Hey Friends!

We have been busy working on CoupleTalk ... nonstop.

Turns out that the editing and production process for a 10-session video-led curriculum took a lot longer than we could have ever expected.

But we are ecstatic with how the workbooks, the DVD packaging, and the finished video product turned out!   

Here's the details:

  • CoupleTalk: Cracking the Code to an Amazing Relationship is based on the Relationship Enhancement Program originally created by Dr. Bernard Guerney, Jr. and adapted by Dr. Guerney and Mary Ortwein as the widely used Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML) version of RE. It divides the program into two parts. Each part consists of five video sessions and each session ranges from 75 - 90 minutes in total length.
  • Part 1: Cracking the Code to a Deeper Connection (available now) gives couples the communication tools they can't love without. The five sessions include: Trading Places, Listening Fully, Expressing Yourself, Having a CoupleTalk, and Growing as a Team.
     
  • Part 2: Cracking the Code to Handling Conflict (available late Spring) gives couples practical tools to manage disagreements and repair a relationship when it’s been damaged. These five sessions include: Getting a Grip ... On Your Emotions, Digging Deeper During Disagreements, Finding the Win-Win-Win, Moving Beyond "I'm Sorry," and Making CoupleTalk the New Normal.
     
  • With a single DVD set plus a workbook for every participant, CoupleTalk works great as a small group curriculum, for large classes, weekend retreats, and even for personal use by a couple at home.

Everything is 50% off until March 31!  CoupleTalk Part 1 (the DVD set and workbooks) is now available for purchase on our website.  CoupleTalk Part 2 is available for pre-press purchase there as well.

Thanks for your support and prayers for us during the first leg of this adventure!

Don & Alex

P.S. Now that CoupleTalk is launched, you'll be receiving more frequent updates about exciting developments with this program.

 
 


CoupleTalk Launch Special!

To celebrate the official launch of CoupleTalk, we are offering the DVD sets and workbooks at 50% off retail price. But hurry, this special only lasts until March 31st!

Go to CoupleTalk Store >>

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CoupleTalk.com is Now Online!

The official website for all things CoupleTalk is live and ready for business. It offers basics about the program, free tools for couples, cool video testimonies, and the online store.

Check out CoupleTalk.com >>

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The Video Hosts of CoupleTalk

Kyle and Julie Partin are the Video Hosts of CoupleTalk. They open and close every session of CoupleTalk, interview Don and Alex in the (upcoming) CoupleTalk Host Kit, and talk with the Video Couples before and after their CoupleTalk experience (available for viewing on the website).

We couldn't be more pleased that they're the "young faces" of CoupleTalk!

Watch Our Video Hosts in Action >>

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The Video Couples of CoupleTalk

When we brainstormed ideas for a video program, we didn't want a bunch of "nodding heads" in the audience. After much planning and prayer, we ended up with six perfect couples who weren't just part of the set, they're part of the program. 

Each couple is relatable with their different struggles, different personalities, different ways of communicating.

Meet the Video Couples Now >>

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Bring CoupleTalk LIVE to Your Church or Community 

CoupleTalk LIVE is an interactive experience: this means that couples will be practicing exercises and talking to each other throughout the seminar. As seasoned facilitators of experiential classes – both large and small – we bring the interactive exercises to “life,” making the experience not only meaningful for couples during the teaching, but also long after CoupleTalk LIVE is over.

Get More on CoupleTalk LIVE >>

 
 
 

Help Us Get the Word Out about CoupleTalk

We have spent the last couple of years writing, filming, editing, packaging and creating a program that will reach THIS generation of couples. Would you help us spread the word about CoupleTalk?

Like & Share Us on Facebook >>

Follow & Tweet about Us on Twitter >>

Blog an Article about CoupleTalk >>

Share the Site with Your Pastor >>

Interview Us for a Podcast >>

 
 
 
         
 

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1700 Miramar Drive
Fullerton, CA 92831
www.coupletalk.com
info@coupletalk.com
Facebook.com/CoupleTalk
Twitter: @Couple_Talk
1-866-CoupleTalk

 
         
 

 



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