Fwd: Do You Get Tired of Holding On?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Redeeming Marriages with Jack and Janet <jackandjanet@redeemingmarriages.com>
Date: Sat, Jun 28, 2014 at 5:31 PM
Subject: Do You Get Tired of Holding On?
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


Restoring hope with the power of God's redeeming love. View this email in your browser
 A Message From Redeeming Marriages

Do You Get Tired of Holding On?

Do you ever feel like giving up because you just don't know if you can take anymore? I know how you feel. You wrestle with the desire to quit, but your belief in staying committed to your marriage keeps you holding on. The heartache, the tears, the weariness, sometimes feels like more than you can bear. And there are times when you don't see any hope of things getting better and all you can think of is running away. I get it, I have been there too.

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I think if I were going through now what I went through before, one of my favorite songs would probably be, "Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You)." It's one of those sad songs that captures the kind of heartache I used to feel. With tears blinding my eyes I would have been singing along with lyrics like, "You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye."

Because back then when I was trying to hold onto my marriage I listened to some sad songs that seemed to put the perfect words to how I was feeling. I never wanted to give up, but there were times when I felt I needed some sign of hope. And somehow through the music it felt like someone else understood how I was feeling.

But then for every song that touched that place in me that wanted to give up, there would be another song that would give me strength to keep holding on. One particular Country song that I believe God used to not only speak to me but also to Janet was "Why We Said Goodbye," by Tim McGraw.

Listen to the song and then I will follow-up with how it spoke to us.

Click here:  Why We Said Goodbye

 

Four lyrics that spoke the most

 

"You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life."

Hearing these words reminded us both that there was no way to remove how much we were apart of each other's life. Just like a piece of fabric, you can't just remove the treads you no longer want and expect the whole fabric to not be affected. Sure we could have broken up and went our separate ways, but there was no way we would ever remove the fact that we had each played a major role in one another's life.

 

And I remember how you held me the night my father died
I didn't have to tell you, I just broke down and cried

I've yet to lose either one of my parents, but I know that day is going to come and there is nothing I can do to stop it. But when I think of the sadness that I will feel when that time comes, I can think of nothing I want more than to have my wife there to hold me when I cry. How unbearably lonely I would feel if I had to go through the loss of one of my parents and not have my wife to help me through it.

 

There must have been a reason, but i can't remember now

It was such a sobering thought to think that one day we could look back and question why we gave up. Yea we would have remembered the fights and the issues we struggled with. But there was this nagging thought that said what if we look back one day and realize how big of a mistake it was to let go of something that could have been very special.

 

"I just had to call you, I had to hear your voice. And tell you I still love you we still have a choice."

The image of one day picking up the phone with that longing desperation of hoping to somehow undo our breakup was a haunting thought to me. And it was something I just wasn't willing to take a chance on. If we were going to have a choice I wanted it to be before we went through a break up and possibly ended up marring other people, which would have ended our choice.

 

So if you find yourself tired of holding on I hope you will be encouraged that something special can still come out of your situation. Just like it did in ours. All you need to do is reaffirm those reasons you want your marriage to make it. And keep praying and seeking the Lord and allow Him to give you want you need to make it through this.

 

Question: What are the positive thoughts that keeps you holding on to your marriage?

 

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Fwd: Institute for Family Studies Newsletter, 6/26/14: Modern marriages, just wages, and more

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Family Studies <editor@family-studies.org>
Date: Thu, Jun 26, 2014 at 2:58 PM
Subject: Institute for Family Studies Newsletter, 6/26/14: Modern marriages, just wages, and more
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


View this email in your browser.

This Week on Family-Studies.org

We explored whether marriages today are individualistic, shared good news about who benefits most from family-strengthening programs, made the conservative case for just wages, and warned against paying too much attention to faulty research.

Supporting Disadvantaged Couples

by Scott Stanley

Government-sponsored family-strengthening programs have limited effectiveness, but new findings indicate that, contra the expectations of some scholars, they may be most helpful to the most disadvantaged couples.

A Pro-Family Wage

by Amber and David Lapp

Although low wages are hard on marriages and families, those who care most about strengthening the family are often silent on the subject. Here are a few reasons they should speak up.

Marriage: Still a Team Effort

by Anna Sutherland

Many observe, and fear, that marriage is growing more individualistic. Far from maintaining separate, autonomous lives, however, most of today’s married couples still form interdependent partnerships.

Beware of Woozles

by Linda Nielsen

The formation of an erroneous consensus on whether young children of separated parents should stay overnight with their fathers provides a cautionary tale about interpreting and sharing family research.

IFS Around the Web

Research fellow David Lapp shares findings from an IFS-cosponsored report at the Huffington Post, and in the Wall Street Journal, senior fellow W. Bradford Wilcox reviews a book on how inequality shapes marriage markets (WSJ subscription required).
View more Family-Studies blog posts.
Copyright © 2014 Institute for Family Studies, All rights reserved.
Welcome to IFS!

Our mailing address is:
Institute for Family Studies
P.O. Box 400766
Charlottesville, VA 22904

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Fwd: ADW Education Rec

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jun 9, 2014 at 11:09 AM
Subject: ADW Education Rec
To: LJ Milone <adultdre@sjbsilverspring.org>


Recommendation 8
That clergy and catechetical leaders be provided excellent resources, both print and digital, to foster vibrant marriages. This includes ongoing parish faith formation and spiritual development of couples, both prior to and after marriage, as well as 
promoting an understanding of marriage as a vocation.

--

Fwd: Divorce - The Overlooked Cause of Mass Murderers - Ethics & Religion Col.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Michael McManus <mike@marriagesavers.org>
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2014 at 10:42 PM
Subject: Divorce - The Overlooked Cause of Mass Murderers - Ethics & Religion Col. #1,710
To: Bill Coffin <BillCoffin68@gmail.com>


Ethics & Religion

A Column by Michael J. McManus

 

June 5, 2014

Column #1,710

Divorce – The Overlooked Cause of Mass Murderers

By Mike McManus

 

            Why did Elliot Rodger, 22, stab three men including two roommates, murder two girls in a sorority, and kill a man while driving his BMW, before killing himself?

 

            He posted a YouTube video in which he said, “You are animals and I will slaughter you like animals…Just for the crime of living a better life than me.  All you popular kids, you’ve never accepted me, and now you will pay for it.” 

 

The video so alarmed his mother, that she called the police who visited Elliott, who was so polite they dropped the matter.  (Why didn’t they ask to see the video, and search his apartment for guns?)  His parents were so frightened, they drove (separately) from Los Angeles to the Santa Barbara area, but got there belatedly.

 

Their parental concern was commendable – but 15 years too late.  The couple divorced when Elliott was 7, and he never recovered.

 

His father, who worked in Hollywood films – quickly found another girlfriend.  Elliot wrote, “How ironic that it is my father, one of those men who could easily have found a girlfriend, has a son who would struggle all his life to find a girlfriend.”

 

Michael Cook, writing for Mercatornet, reports that “Most of the men on the never-ending list of rampage killers in the United States came from homes where the parents were divorced or separated.”  Examples:

 

John Zawahiri, 23, killed five people in Santa Monica in 2013. His parents have been separated for years.

 

Adam Lanza, 20, killed his divorced mother, before slaughtering 6 teachers and 20 children in Connecticut, and killed himself.

 

Wade Page, whose parents were divorced, became a white supremacist who killed 6 Sikhs before being killed by a police officer.

 

Half of American children experience a parental divorce and only a tiny minority become killers.  However, Pat Fagan and Robert Rector of the Heritage Foundation report that in Wisconsin, children of divorced parents are 12 times more likely to serve time in jail than children from intact, two-parent homes. 

 

What can be done to reverse these trends? I have two suggestions.

 

            Greg Griffin (770 310-7190), a pastor who got a divorce he didn’t want, has championed a “Children’s Hope for Family Life Act” in Georgia that would require couples with children to take a course on the impact of divorce on kids – BEFORE divorce papers can be filed.  Hopefully, that would persuade many to save their marriages. Second, his bill would extend the time before the divorce takes effect from a paltry 30 days to one year. And during the year, they’d be required to take classes to improve their skills of resolving conflict.  Those are all marriage savers.

 

Edwin Feulner, former President of Heritage Foundation, writes, “You can actually use the divorce rate in a given area to predict its level of crime, according to a University of Chicago sociology professor Robert Sampson, who studied 171 U.S. cities and found that the lower a city’s divorce rate, the lower its crime rate.”

 

My wife and I have helped the clergy of 230 cities to adopt a Community Marriage Policy that cuts city-wide divorce rates. An independent study by the Institute for Research and Evaluation of our first 114 cities found that the divorce rate fell an average of 17.5% in seven years.  In nearly a tenth of cities divorce rates were cut in half or better, such as Austin, Kansas City, KS, Modesto, CA, and El Paso, where the divorce rate actually plunged 79.5%!

 

Result: El Paso has had THE LOWEST CRIME RATE of any major city for the last four years!  This city of 665,000 had only 5 murders in 2010 when Washington DC, with 617,000 had 132 murders.  Austin, where divorces plunged 50%, was America’s 4th safest city.

 

What is a Community Marriage Policy?  It is a pledge by clergy of all denominations to take proven steps to save marriages at five stages:

 

Preparation that includes requiring all couples to take a premarital inventory with 150 items and discuss the results with trained Mentor Couples.

 

Enrichment to give a booster shot to all married couples on an annual basis.

 

Restoration troubled marriage by training couples whose own marriages had once nearly failed, to mentor those in current crisis.

 

Reconcile separated couples with a course, Marriage 911 taken by the committed spouse to spark such growth the errant partner is won back.

 

Stepfamilies normally divorce at a 70% rate, but if they join a Stepfamily Support Group, 80% of marriages are saved.

 

To learn more, go to www.MarriageSavers.org or call 301 469-5873.

Copyright 2014 by Michael J. McManus, President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist.

 

 

 

 

****************************************

Mike McManus is President of Marriage Savers

and a syndicated columnist, writing Ethics & Religion weekly

mike@marriagesavers.org

9311 Harrington Dr.

Potomac, MD 20854

 

301-469-5873

 

Fwd: Institute for Family Studies Newsletter, 5/22/14

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Family Studies <editor@family-studies.org>
Date: Thu, May 22, 2014 at 2:39 PM
Subject: Institute for Family Studies Newsletter, 5/22/14
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


View this email in your browser.

This Week on Family-Studies.org

Political commentator Ramesh Ponnuru of National Review weighed in on Marco Rubio’s plan for reforming Social Security, and W. Bradford Wilcox discussed the impact of Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society programs on marriage and the family. Other contributors explained how we can make low-income jobs more family-friendly and why some young adults deeply hurt by their parents’ break-up are nonetheless reluctant to marry before having kids themselves.

How Pensions Shape Families

by Ramesh Ponnuru

Senator Marco Rubio’s proposal to reform Social Security matters not only for retirement security but also for family formation: It should yield a modest increase in the investment in human capital that is child-rearing.

Making Work Pay (for Children)

by Anna Sutherland

Parents’ employment usually offers many benefits to their kids—but under certain circumstances, that’s not the case. Here’s how we can ensure that work pays off not just for adults but also for children.

Marriage and the American Dream

by W. Bradford Wilcox

We can’t be sure of the origins of our retreat from marriage, but the welfare state seems to reinforce it. And so despite the many government programs launched in the past few decades, the American Dream remains distant for many.

Focused on Kids, But Not Marriage

by David Lapp

Why young adults who were hurt by their parents’ split, and hope to do better for their own children, still aren’t eager to marry: they’ve never witnessed a happy, long-lasting marriage in their families and communities.

IFS Around the Web

Senior fellows Scott Stanley and W. Bradford Wilcox will speak at next month’s National Association for Relationship & Marriage Education Conference, which you can register to attend here. Dr. Wilcox also recently participated in an Expert Group Meeting in observation of the twentieth anniversary of the International Year of the Family.
View more Family-Studies blog posts.
Copyright © 2014 Institute for Family Studies, All rights reserved.
Welcome to IFS!

Our mailing address is:
Institute for Family Studies
P.O. Box 400766
Charlottesville, VA 22904

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Fwd: dotMagis - Ignatian Spirituality

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From: Ignatian Spirituality <contact@ignatianspirituality.com>
Date: Tue, May 20, 2014 at 10:30 AM
Subject: dotMagis - Ignatian Spirituality
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


dotMagis - Ignatian Spirituality


Examen Prayer Card

Posted: 20 May 2014 03:30 AM PDT

As one of our anniversary gifts to you, here’s a prayer card with the steps of the Examen (PDF) as described by Jim Manney in A Simple, Life-Changing Prayer.

Examen Prayer Card - version from A Simple Life-Changing Prayer by Jim Manney


For more anniversary gifts, subscribe to dotMagis to receive your copy of an online magazine with a selection of the blog’s best posts and a photo album of favorite photos from our sister blog, Picturing God.

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Fwd: Latest Scoops on Healthy Marriage Links and Clips

Or you could follow me here http://www.scoop.it/t/healthy-marriage-links-and-clips to get daily news.

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From: Scoop.it <noreply@postmaster.scoop.it>
Date: Thu, Apr 17, 2014 at 9:01 PM
Subject: Latest Scoops on Healthy Marriage Links and Clips
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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