Monthly MM's & PP's - AUGUST 2012

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Susan Vogt <susanvogt1@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 16, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Subject: Monthly MM's & PP's - AUGUST 2012
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Marriage Moments & Parenting Pointers

AUGUST - 2012

 

Family heart

 

I offer you these tidbits of wisdom as prayer prompts to remind you (and your constituents) of the sacredness of marriage vows and the value of every child. The commitment to love a spouse forever, and the generous gift of life parents offer a child are indeed spiritual under-takings and cannot be done alone. May the God of Love be with you and your work.


*FOR MORE extended marriage and parenting articles, plus archived Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers, go to: www.SusanVogt.net
 
*BLOG: Living Lightly.

www.SusanVogt.net/blog

*TWITTER: @Vogt_Susan

*EDUCATORS, LEADERS, & MINISTERS: You are welcome to reprint these MM's and PP's in bulletins, newsletters, and on your website with proper credit, ("By Susan Vogt, www.SusanVogt.net")
When used on a website, please also link to my website, www.SusanVogt.net 


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Dear Bill ,
Below are your Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers for AUGUST. 

 

Note: I recevied over 60 wonderful pieces of wisdom from pastoral ministers on how to Maintain Your Sanity 

While Balancing Family, Ministry, Work, and Life. Most tips fell into the categories of

  1. Block out personal time on your calendar
  2. Pray (morning quiet time)
  3. Healthy living & hobbies (eat well, exercise, relax)
  4. Prioritize
  5. Find a confidant (spiritual adviser, support group, friend)
  6. Develop an attitude ("I am not the Messiah)
  7. Humor & laughter 

Click here to see my top 7. It was a "Sophie's Choice." So many deserved sharing, it didn't feel fair to pick between them. 

Since I failed to pick one top tip, here's a tip top one from St. Francis de Sales. When asked how much one should pray, this Doctor of the Church reportedly replied: "You should pray a half hour each day, unless you're busy. If you're busy, you should pray an hour."

  

 

Thanks to all those who contributed. 
MARRIAGE MOMENTS

480. Aug. 6: "The whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses." (Ex 16:2) It's tempting to grumble against one's spouse, or even God, when things aren't going well. An occasional grumble can be an OK way to let off steam, but try to balance it with expressions of gratitude.

 

481. Aug. 13: As desired as children usually are in a marriage, they also bring stress. Don't let arguments over child discipline sap your energy and alienate you from each other. Take a break. Build a list of a few reliable sitters or friends.

 

482. Aug. 20: "Live, not as foolish persons but as wise." (Eph 5:15) Who is the wisest (not smartest) living person you know? Who is the most foolish? Do you and your spouse share the same opinion of these people?

 

483. Aug. 27: Balancing couple, parent, work, and personal time is a challenge in marriage. Which one gets the least attention in your marriage? Fix it. 

PARENTING POINTERS

479. Aug. 3: Are your kids spoiled? Too many sweets or toys? Do they complain about doing reasonable chores? It's hard to know how much is too much. Many parents err on the side of too much. Read Elizabeth Kolber's article, Spoiled Rotten, for comparison.

 

480. Aug. 10: "Whoever... teaches the commandments will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." (Mt 5:19) To instruct the uninformed is one of the Spiritual Works of Mercy. Parents do this daily by word and action. Pick a commandment to focus on today.

 

481. Aug. 17: How to "parent" an adult child - You may still have plenty of wisdom to be shared with your 20-30 something but are they able to hear it. Learn to practice "Silence of Words," a virtue that trains you when to speak and when to bite your tongue.

 

482. Aug. 24: "The best message that parents can send children is 'I love you but I expect you to behave properly.'" (Mary Pipher) Parents get tired and it's tempting to overlook bad behavior because it takes energy to hold our children accountable. Summon up an ounce of energy the next time you need to hold your child accountable.

 

483. Aug. 31: Is there a vowed religious (sister or brother) who has taught, helped, or inspired you? Tell your child about it. Nuns need our support these days and we must remember how they have educated, healed, and served the least of God's people. 
© 2012 Susan Vogt
MAIL: 523 E. Southern Ave., Covington, KY 41015 
E-MAIL:
SusanVogt1@gmail.com
WEBSITE:
This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by susanvogt1@gmail.com |  
Susan Vogt |
523 E. Southern Ave | Covington | KY | 41015

Society for the Study of Human Development - Thanks for Attending our Webinar!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Shannon Pruden <sdick@fiu.edu>
Date: Fri, Jul 13, 2012 at 11:12 PM
Subject: Society for the Study of Human Development - Thanks for Attending our Webinar!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


-- Shannon Pruden, Ph.D. Assistant Professor, Developmental Science Department of Psychology Florida International University Modesto A. Maidique Campus DM 296A 11200 S.W. 8th Street Miami, FL 33199 Office Phone: 305-348-2784 Lab Phone: 305-348-9055 Email: shannon.pruden@fiu.edu Personal Website: http://www.fiu.edu/~sdick Lab Website: http://childlabs.fiu.edu

Do quickies work?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Carolyn Rich Curtis <info@skills4us.org>
Date: Fri, Jul 13, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Subject: Do quickies work?
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com
Looking for an instant love boost?  Try a few of these tricks from thenest.com
 .
Sometimes, the obvious is all you need to make your relationship feel fresh again.

The Quickie: Making small, unexpected gestures
Why It Works: Sometimes the best validation that you're loved and appreciated is when you experience a gesture that proves your partner is always thinking of you. Yes, planning a romantic night on the town takes thought and is always appreciated. But buying your husband a red velvet cupcake, just because you happened to walk by a bakery, see it in the window and know he would love it, will really make an impression. It's that for-no-real-reason feeling that makes the act mean so much.

The Quickie: Doing something your partner always does
Why It Works: Sure, when you divided up the chores, you agreed that he would take out the trash and you would do the dishes. But every once in a while, when he's super-slammed at work, rather than nagging him for not noticing the overflowing trash can, take it out for him. When you love someone, you pitch in -- even when you're not asked (or it's technically not your turn). Small gestures to make each other's lives better remind you why you put up with his stinky feet, or her snoring, in the first place.

The Quickie: Letting her (or him) breathe
Why It Works: Because you'll be so much more excited to see each other! Having someone to come home to is a definite plus to being in a relationship. But sometimes it would be nice to walk into an empty house and, perhaps, slip into a lavender-scented bath or chill out in front of the TV without having to speak. Even couples that are joined at the hip sometimes require a little alone time -- not to brood or escape, but to refresh. You don't need much distance to make the heart grow fonder, but a little goes a long way.

The Quickie: Writing it down
Why It Works: Let's face it: Telling your mate how much she means to you can feel kind of sappy or trite. But expressing your feelings, even when you assume they're known, is key in long-term relationships. Otherwise, you risk falling into "taking each other for granted" syndrome. An "I love you" written on the dry-erase board in the kitchen, or a "Have a great day!" Post-it left on the bathroom mirror, is all it takes to let your other half know you cared enough to take the time to write it down.

The Quickie: Saying "yes"
Why It works: Agreeing to try something you always veto, or joining your partner for something you normally try to get out of, shows you are listening to what your significant other wants and are willing to put your partner's needs first. Now, we're not suggesting you go out of your way to do something you truly despise -- no one benefits if you're visibly miserable the entire time. But a "yes" to a fairly innocuous, temporary thing can still mean a lot. Seeing how happy these small gestures can make your partner should make you feel good and inspire you to do them more often.
 
**Editorial note**

There are three ways to have great sex: regular (20 minutes or so), marathon, and quickies.  Each has their own place, so make sure to try them all!

--Carolyn
Relationship Skills Center / 9719 Lincoln Village Dr. / Sacramento, California 95827 / 916-362-1900
 
This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by info@skills4us.org |  
Relationship Skills Center | 9719 Lincoln Village Dr. | Suite 503 | Sacramento | CA | 95827

2012 Mid-Atlantic Conference Nov. 2-3

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Nancy Russell <nrussell@bettermarriages.org>
Date: Tue, Jul 10, 2012 at 1:42 PM
Subject: 2012 Mid-Atlantic Conference Nov. 2-3
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


* * * * * *   Save The Date!   * * * * * *

Mid-Atlantic Regional Conference – November 2 & 3, 2012

Sponsored by the Washington Area Chapter of Better Marriages

Beltsville, Maryland

Keynote speakers Friday evening and Saturday

Many Workshops Saturday on relationship skills, intimacy and sexuality, conflict resolution, massage for couples, and many more!

Sunday In-service Training for leader couples

More Information to Follow soon!!

Where:  Sheraton Washington Hotel North - special rates $99 per night

            4095 Powder Mill Road, Beltsville, MD 20705

For Hotel Reservations call 1-800-325-3535, (refer to “Better Marriages Conference”)

Cost:  $199 per couple for Friday night dinner and keynote, Saturday keynote,

            workshops, and lunch  (Early Bird Registration $179 per couple by October 1)

Reserve Your Spots NOW!

Send check made out to Marriage Enrichment Group to Tom Melo 1107 Woodside Parkway, Silver Spring, MD 20910

Questions? – email dc.acme@gmail.com or call 301-588-1341

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Marriage Memo: A Woman's Emotions

From: FamilyLife [mailto:flannounce@familylife.com]
Sent: Monday, July 09, 2012 1:59 PM
To: billandpatcoffin@verizon.net
Subject: Marriage Memo: A Woman's Emotions

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Marriage Memo from FamilyLife

Marriage Memo from FamilyLife

July 9, 2012

A Woman's Emotions

by Barbara Rainey

Early in our marriage, Dennis and I were completely caught off guard by the emotions I began feeling. I remember the first time I was angry with Dennis. I had never felt angry with him the entire time we dated, were engaged, or in the early days of our marriage.

I remember thinking What do I do? Where do I go? Dennis was pursuing me to resolve our conflict, and I was so confused that I went into the bathroom, shut the door and thought, I can't get out of here. I'm stuck in this relationship.

I held the future of my marriage and my family in my hands.

We know we are created in the image of God, but many of us don't realize our emotions are a significant part of God's image imprinted within us. Women need to feel comfortable with who they are emotionally.

And this isn't easy, because many women aren't prepared to anticipate or handle the difficult challenges that are a part of being a wife and mother. Each new season of life—early marriage, pregnancy, raising young children, etc.—brings a new set of joys and difficulties, and many women are surprised by the intensity of their emotions.

As a woman experiences the various emotions in her daily life, she needs to feel loved and accepted by her husband so she can maintain a positive attitude. We are made in the emotional image of God; we shouldn't be afraid of those emotions when they crop up.

When I faced that early crisis in my marriage, I decided my relationship, which was a covenant I'd made to God, was too important not to work it out. So after stewing and thinking and praying, I left that bathroom. After some real communication, Dennis and I resolved the problem.

The next time you find your emotions have you feeling "stuck" in your marriage, don't stew in a bathroom. Talk it out. Resolve the conflict. Why? Because God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship, a safe haven, in which a man and woman can work through their emotions and glorify God in the process.

Check It Out Section of this email


Ladies, are you exhausted from trying to do it all? Find out how to do what matters and help other women do the same by facilitating a Life Ready Woman group. Learn more.

Take your marriage from good to great at an Art of Marriage® video event. Find a location near you.

 

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Join Industry Leaders!! Register today for the 2012 NARME Conference in Baltimore, MD!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Center For Urban Families <phinerman@cfuf.org>
Date: Mon, Jul 9, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Subject: Join Industry Leaders!! Register today for the 2012 NARME Conference in Baltimore, MD!
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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NARME Logo
REGISTER
TODAY!!!

2012 NARME
Conference
Baltimore, MD

**July 20th-25th**

 
CFUF is co-sponsoring NARME's 2nd Annual Conference!  Join leaders, practitioners, policymakers, and community members to discuss the latest data to reduce the cycle of poverty, enhance relationships and increase the health and well-being of children, adults and families!
Want to attend this year's conference for FREE?!

 

NARME is seeking volunteers to assist staff with workshop sessions (AND you get to participate in the workshop you are assisting).  Additionally, volunteers are reimbursed for parking and provided with lunch each day volunteering.

 

Individuals who volunteer from July 22nd-25th attend the conference for FREE! 

 

Volunteer Form:

2012 NARME Conference Volunteer Form

 
CFUF Email Blast

CFUF has partnered with the Open Society Foundations to formally establish the Practitioners' Leadership Institute (PLI). The PLI is a national initiative designed to build the capacity of and serve as a replication model for community and faith-based organizations, government agencies and other institutions engaged in efforts to structure, implement, and/or manage high-quality Responsible Fatherhood and Family Strengthening programs.    

Visit our booth at the conference! 

 For more information: 

James Worthy (jworthy@cfuf.org)

Page Hinerman (phinerman@cfuf.org)

CFUF Logo White Background 
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Date Night Works - Presenting at NARME

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From: Date Night Works <support@tangogroup.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 6, 2012 at 1:49 PM
Subject: Date Night Works - Presenting at NARME
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>
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Dear Friends and Colleagues: 
 
We wanted to let you know that Date Night Works will be conducting a Pre-Conference Training on Sunday, July 22, at the NARME conference in Baltimore.
 
Our one day training, called Date Night Bootcamp (Session 1T-9), will be led by Sarah Meyer and Tim Popadic. Tim is our resident Date Night guru, having led Date Night events with over 20,000 participants in the Palm Beach area. Together Sarah and Tim are helping relationship champions host their own Date Nights around the country.
 
Why Date Nights?
 
“Date Nights” are being employed around the nation and in every case have been shown to improve relational satisfaction of participating couples. At the NARME Conference Dr. Bradford Wilcox from the University of Virginia will release his latest research under the title “Date Night Opportunity” which verifies the value of couple’s time together.
 
If you have been thinking about how you can help and serve relationships with people you care about, beyond what you already do, we encourage you to attend this training on Sunday. At the training session we will walk you through step-by-step how you can easily build and sponsor a Date Night campaign using smart-phone apps, date night “deals,” and engaging promotional material.  We want to help you create a “win” for relationships in your community. You’ll come away with a vision and a plan for relational impact. 
 
Apart from our training seminar we think you would also benefit from the rest of the conference that NARME has put together -- an astounding 3 days of Learning, Networking, Fun, and Information to help you serve families.
 
·         There will be a great night at the Baltimore Orioles game!
 
·         Ten workshop breakouts!  Seven plenary sessions.  Plus up to 46 available CEU hours available from a national provider!
 
·         NARME members get an additional $50 off and can attend a delicious free dinner Monday night! (Members only!)
 
·         Basic Conference fee starting at $349
 
Click here to see what all the excitement is about at www.NARMEconference.com. Please pass this opportunity along to those serving families.
 
Hope to see you in Baltimore!
 
The Date Night Works Team

Copyright © 2012 Date Night Works, All rights reserved.
Passion for relationships, marriage and family.
Our mailing address is:
Date Night Works
831 Pearl Street
Boulder, CO 80303

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Empathy Matters: Empathy exercises to try at home, new competition winners, & Bill Drayton on the key factors for business success.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Ashoka Empathy <lflowers@ashoka.org>
Date: Thu, Jul 5, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Subject: Empathy Matters: Empathy exercises to try at home, new competition winners, & Bill Drayton on the key factors for business success.
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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After months of reading and reviewing entries and weeks of public voting, last week Ashoka Changemakers announced the three winners of the competition Activating Empathy. Congratulations to Sports for Sharing, Changing Worlds, and No Bully!

Sports for Sharing uses play--games and sports--to tackle civic disengagement, cross-cultural mistrust, and violence in Mexico. Their signature activity is the treasure-chest exchange, where students collect objects that represent their culture and identity, pack them up in decorated boxes, and exchange their treasure chests with another participating school.

Changing Worlds' Literacy and Cultural Connection Program turns students into historians of their own families and communities, sending them out into the field for interviews and helping them transform what they learn into a sophisticated art project.

No Bully creates school-based Solution Teams of students to resolve instances of bullying. The core philosophy behind their work? A non-punitive response to bullying that integrally involves students themselves.

Stay tuned to StartEmpathy.org in the coming weeks for full profiles of all of the winners, and check out the list of all 14 finalists here.



"I get it. It's not gender, it's not race; it's whether or not you're a changemaker that determines whether you will be a success or failure." So said a 15-year-old young woman and active Youth Venturer, quoted in a recent article from Ashoka Founder Bill Drayton, appearing in Forbes India.

"The key factors for success for any business (or other organization) going forward," writes Bill, "will be: What proportion of your people are changemakers, at what level, and how effective have you been in enabling them to work together and openly to the world? No leader will succeed against this test if he or she is not doing everything possible to ensure that every member of his/her team is brilliant in applied empathetic ethics and if the organization is not meeting the same test."

Discover whether you're meeting the test, and check out tips from Bill to ensure you and your company aren't left behind. Read more.

8

"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from his angle as well as your own." Henry Ford

  
Take advantage of the lazy--or hectic--summer afternoons you'll spend with your children to try out some empathy building exercises. Not sure where to begin? Start with a family album. Gathering the family around an old photo album is an easy and fun way to share memories with your children--and a perfect opportunity to talk about emotions. Consider scanning some family photos that represent common emotions and putting them on the fridge. Create moveable labels for each family member that say "Today I feel like this."

Read more about how to use the experience as an empathy builder here.


Earlier this month, we found ourselves sitting in an industrial warehouse in Half Moon Bay, CA, joined by Ashoka Fellow Molly Barker, Henry De Sio, and more than a dozen leading thinkers & doers from across a variety of industries, including design, advertising, media, and academia. Convened by Insight Labs, the group set out to crack what it's going to take to make empathy a norm in today's education system.

Over the course of three hours, we wrestled with the very same questions we've been asking ourselves for months: what exactly do we mean by empathy? Why exactly is it more important today than ever? And what's it going to take to spread not a curriculum or a program, but an idea?

Among the takeaways are that empathy must be applied--it's most powerful as an ingredient in changemaking; that relationships are crucial in today's world and empathy is the vehicle that helps us build effective ones; and that the strongest arguments for empathy may not be facts and figures but rather powerful stories. Read more about these and other lessons learned here.

 

 
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