Candidates for Friday Five

1. Why You Shouldn’t Love Your Kids More Than Your Partner

 BELINDA LUSCOMBE





2. Can AI Nudge Us to Make Better Choices?

Bob Suh



OR



3. The New York Times launches its (evidence-driven, non-judgy) Parenting vertical, with an eye toward making it a subscription product

LAURA HAZARD OWEN  


OR

NYT Corrections: May 5, 2019

last Sunday about socially conservative women and family policy misstated the source of information about mothers with young children who prefer to work full time. It is research by the Institute for Family Studies, not analysis of American Community Survey data by the institute. 

 


4. The Prevention Services Clearinghouse Handbook of Standards and Procedures
 

OR





5. Why we should respond to the lure of wedding bells

 Peter Jon Mitchell Hamilton Spectator 





6. Assisting families with ageing-related relationship issues

Paula Mance  



OR

National Families Week  










8. Marriage Week 2019





9. On Being with Krista Tippett

Atul Gawande

What Matters in the End






10.  6 Picture Books that Make the Sweetest Gifts for New Moms

by Jennifer Garry



11. 

What Does It Mean to Be ‘Ready’ for a Relationship?


OR

Don’t Be Grateful That Dad Does His Share




Thanks and Happy Mothers Day

I'll be back from France for the May 31 edition #278

Candidates for Friday Five




OR

You’re Missing It! Reminds Parents that Kids Aren’t the Only Ones Who Should Put Down the Screens

by Jennifer Garry




2.16 Books That Model Empathy and Compassion for Young Readers

by Charnaie Gordon
 


OR


Five Childhood Experiences That Lead to a More Purposeful Life

BY MARYAM ABDULLAH 






3. Improving Couples’ Relationship Leads to Improved Coparenting

by Devan Clayton





4. People with happy spouses may live longer





5. The family is the centre of our universe





6. 3 Tips for nourishing your marriage on a daily basis

 Cecilia Zinicola and Matthew Green  





7. Survey for married women






8. Erasing the Stigma: Mental Health for Men

Jason M. Jowers, MS 





9. Addressing Libertarian concerns about paid leave

Aparna Mathur  





10.  NPCL and the 21st Annual IFC Host Committee


or


By Mike McManus 


 





11. Do Married Millennials Cheat on Each Other?

OLGA KHAZAN




 

12. Arguing in Front of the Kids May Be Good for Them

Sue Shellenbarger  






13. NCFR  Resource Library


OR

THE 9th ANNUAL NARME SUMMIT IS COMING TO THE

SHERATON MUSIC CITY HOTEL IN NASHVILLE, TN!





Thanks

Bill


Candidates for Friday Five

1. TANF Caseload Data for FY and CY 2018 can be found here: https://www.acf.hhs.gov/ofa/resource/tanf-caseload-data-2018

OR

OFA Webinar: Coordinating Services for TANF and Child Welfare Families




https://militaryfamilieslearningnetwork.org/2019/03/15/the-eight-domains-of-total-force-fitness-military-families-lethality-and-resilience/  





OR





4. Parental conflict reduction projects to get £2m in DWP funding

 Joe Lepper








OR

Age-verification for online pornography to begin in July



 


5.   2017-2018 Evaluation Report

  THE ALABAMA DEPARTMENT OF CHILD ABUSE & NEGLECT PREVENTION 
THE CHILDREN’S TRUST FUND SALLYE LONGSHORE, M.S., ED.S., DIRECTOR  


OR

  Documenting the Impact of Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Programs in Alabama: Aggregating Information Across a Wide Range of Programs (presented 4/24/19)

 Sallye R. Longshore, Ed.S. Director, Alabama Department of Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention (ADCANP) 
Francesca Adler-Baeder, Ph.D., Auburn University




  • FP-19-07
    Median Age at First Marriage: Geographic Variation, 2017 
  • FP-19-06
    Median Age at First Marriage, 2017
 



7. Trask Extols Benefits of Parent Education at UN Commission





8.  How to Gradually Introduce Kids to the Idea of Forgiveness


MARYAM ABDULLAH 




OR

What Happens When Old and Young Connect?

By Marc Freedman 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/what_happens_when_old_and_young_connect?  



 

9.  How or Why Does Relationship Education Work?

Hailey Palmer and Alan J. Hawkins 





10. Having a kid won’t kill your marriage, and other parenting “truths” debunked

Julia Belluz




Thanks


Bill


Candidates for Friday Five

1. It’s Dangerous to Be a Boy

By Michael C. Reichert


OR

TEENS FACE HEALTH AND SAFETY RISKS EXPLORING SEX ONLINE

CAROLINE BROOKS-MICHIGAN STATE

 


2. Yes means yes: why verbal consent policies are ineffective

BY DONNA FREITAS

  https://blog.oup.com/2019/04/why-verbal-consent-policies-ineffective/  


OR





3. Families in Global Contexts / Rise Up Families Conference
Call for Proposals Deadline: May 30, 2019

OR

Administration for Children & Families National Fatherhood Summit

Tuesday, June 4, 2019 (All day) to Thursday, June 6, 2019 (All day)

City: Nashville, Tennessee


 



4. Strategies For Involving And Engaging Fathers In Programming

  • Tova Walsh, Lauren Zach, Patrick Fendt, and Darryl Davidson

OR

FRPN Webinar: State Policies and Practices to Promote Father Involvement


Thursday, April 18, 2019, 3 - 4:30 p.m. EST




 

5. Building a marriage in a digital world



OR

 
7 tips to help our children use technology well





6. Why Family Matters – Comprehensive analysis of the consequences of family breakdown

 
OR

Building resilient families: third annual report of the Troubled Families Programme 2018 to 2019






7.  MEETING PARENTS WHERE THEY DREAM: CRITICAL VOICES AND LIVED EXPERIENCES

By Anne Mosle





8.  Bernard Guerney, 89, Giant of Psychotherapy





9. How to survive when your spouse retires

You may have married for better, or for worse, but perhaps not for lunch

Carla Fried





10.  Study: Families spend half of their evening meal distracted by technology, tasks

by Sharita Forrest, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign




Thanks!
Bill



Candidates for Friday Five

1. Will Generation Z be the last to enjoy the benefits of marriage?

Ann Farmer




2. 

Effects of Two Healthy Marriage Programs for Low-Income Couples: Evidence from the Parents and Children Together Evaluation




OR

MotherWise: Implementation of a Healthy Marriage and Relationship Education Program for Pregnant and New Mothers

 



3. What Is Early Childhood Development? A Guide to the Science





4. Age Variation in the First Marriage Rate, 1990 & 2017





5. The Consequences of Teen Motherhood Can Last for Generations

ALIA WONG






6. Protective Factors in Practice Vignettes






7. Presentation of the Family International Monitor the Pontifical Theological Institute "John Paul II"





8. Truth About Tech: Solutions for Digital Well-Being Livestream



OR

FOSI Briefs the Hill on Online Safety Across the Generations  



 

9. Who Benefits Most from Relationship Education?

Hailey Palmer and Alan J. Hawkins 





10. Health status, sexual activity and satisfaction among older people in Britain: A mixed methods study



OR

Record low as 25pc of marriages are religious ceremonies, as weddings become 'more social, less sacred'

Gabriella Swerling
 



 Erin Holmes, Alan Hawkins, Braquel Egginton, Nathan Robbins & Kevin Shafer






Thanks.

Bill

Fwd: Open Culture



---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Open Culture <noreply+feedproxy@google.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 23, 2019 at 8:54 AM
Subject: Open Culture
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Open Culture

Link to Open Culture

24 Common Cognitive Biases: A Visual List of the Psychological Systems Errors That Keep Us From Thinking Rationally

Posted: 22 Mar 2019 10:02 AM PDT

There’s been a lot of talk about the Dunning-Kruger effect, the cognitive bias that makes people wildly overconfident, unable to know how ignorant they are because they don’t have the basic skills to grasp what competence means. Once popularized, the effect became weaponized. People made armchair diagnoses, gloated and pointed at the obliviously stupid. But if those finger-pointers could take the beam out of their own eye, they might see four fingers pointing back at them, or whatever folk wisdom to this effect you care to mash up.

What we now call cognitive biases have been known by many other names over the course of millennia. Perhaps never have the many varieties of self-deception been so specific. Wikipedia lists 185 cognitive biases, 185 different ways of being irrational and deluded. Surely, it’s possible that every single time we—maybe accurately—point out someone else’s delusions, we’re hoarding a collection of our own. According to much of the research by psychologists and behavioral economists, this may be inevitable and almost impossible to remedy.

Want to better understand your own cognitive biases and maybe try to move beyond them if you can? See a list of 24 common cognitive biases in an infographic poster at yourbias.is, the site of the nonprofit School of Thought. (The two gentlemen popping up behind brainy Jehovah in the poster, notes Visual Capitalist, "happen to represent Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky, two of the leading social scientists known for their contributions to this field. Not only did they pioneer work around cognitive biases starting in the late 1960s, but their partnership also resulted in a Nobel Prize in Economics in 2002.")

Granted, a Wikipedia list is a crowd-sourced creation with lots of redundancy and quite a few “dubious or trivial” entries, writes Ben Yagoda at The Atlantic. “The IKEA effect, for instance, is defined as ‘the tendency for people to place a disproportionately high value on objects they partially assembled themselves.’” Much of the value I’ve personally placed on IKEA furniture has to do with never wanting to assemble IKEA furniture again. “But a solid group of 100 or so biases has been repeatedly shown to exist, and can make a hash of our lives.”

These are the tricks of the mind that keep gamblers gambling, even when they’re losing everything. They include not only the “gambler’s fallacy” but confirmation bias and the fallacy of sunk cost, the tendency to pursue a bad outcome because you’ve already made a significant investment and you don’t want it to have been for nothing. It may seem ironic that the study of cognitive biases developed primarily in the field of economics, the only social science, perhaps, that still assumes humans are autonomous individuals who freely make rational choices.

But then, economists must constantly contend with the counter-evidence—rationality is not a thing most humans do well. (Evolutionarily speaking, this may have been no great disadvantage until we got our hands on weapons of mass destruction and the tools of climate collapse.) When we act rationally in some areas, we tend to fool ourselves in others. Is it possible to overcome bias? That depends on what we mean. Political and personal prejudices—against ethnicities, nationalities, genders, and sexualities—are usually buttressed by the systems errors known as cognitive biases, but they are not caused by them. They are learned ideas that can be unlearned.

What researchers and academics mean when they talk about bias does not relate to specific content of beliefs, but rather to the ways in which our minds warp logic to serve some psychological or emotional need or to help regulate and stabilize our perceptions in a manageable way. “Some of these biases are related to memory,” writes Kendra Cherry at Very Well Mind, others “might be related to problems with attention. Since attention is a limited resource, people have to be selective about what they pay attention to in the world around them.”

We’re constantly missing what’s right in front of us, in other words, because we’re trying to pay attention to other people too. It’s exhausting, which might be why we need eight hours or so of sleep each night if we want our brains to function half decently. Go to yourbias.is for this list of 24 common cognitive biases, also available on a nifty poster you can order and hang on the wall. You'll also find there an illustrated collection of logical fallacies and a set of “critical thinking cards” featuring both kinds of reasoning errors. Once you've identified and defeated all your own cognitive biases—all 24, or 100, or 185 or so—then you'll be ready to set out and fix everyone else's.

via Visual Capitalist

Related Content:

Research Finds That Intellectual Humility Can Make Us Better Thinkers & People; Good Thing There’s a Free Course on Intellectual Humility

Why Incompetent People Think They’re Amazing: An Animated Lesson from David Dunning (of the Famous “Dunning-Kruger Effect”)

The Power of Empathy: A Quick Animated Lesson That Can Make You a Better Person

Josh Jones is a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. Follow him at @jdmagness

24 Common Cognitive Biases: A Visual List of the Psychological Systems Errors That Keep Us From Thinking Rationally is a post from: Open Culture. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus, or get our Daily Email. And don't miss our big collections of Free Online Courses, Free Online Movies, Free eBooksFree Audio Books, Free Foreign Language Lessons, and MOOCs.

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Fwd: In Memoriam: Bernard Guilbert Guerney, Jr., February 28, 1930 - March 16, 2019



---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: <newsletter@nire.org>
Date: Fri, Mar 22, 2019 at 8:00 PM
Subject: In Memoriam: Bernard Guilbert Guerney, Jr., February 28, 1930 - March 16, 2019
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Bernard Guilbert Guerney, Jr., died at age 89 from complications of cancer, under hospice care at home, and surrounded by his loving family. Bernie, as family, friends and colleagues knew him, is survived by his wife of 65 years, Louise Guerney, three adult children, Janis, Bruce and Robert, and three grandchildren, Aaron, Liana and Cole.

 

A tribute to Bernard G. Guerney, Jr., Ph.D.

Bernard Guerney photo
 
Bernard G. Guerney, Jr., was one of the giants of 20th century psychotherapy. Dr. Guerney was Professor Emeritus of Family Studies and Counseling Psychology at Pennsylvania State University, and has been internationally recognized as one of the most prominent and innovative practitioners of marital and family therapy. His presentations and workshops elicited high praise and great enthusiasm on four continents. Alone or with others he produced over 80 articles and chapters, four books, and numerous manuals, training tapes, and films in the areas of individual, marital, group, and family therapy. He was the recipient of numerous life-time achievement and other awards from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, the American Psychological Association, the Association for Play Therapy, the National Conference on Family Relations, and the Smart Marriages Conference.
 
Bernie, together with his wife, Dr. Louise Guerney, created and developed Filial Family Therapy at a time when play therapy had only recently been in common usage, and at the time represented a radical departure in therapeutic practice. Filial Therapy teaches parents the principles and techniques of Child-Centered Play Therapy so parents can lead therapeutically oriented play sessions with their own children, under the supervision of the therapist.
 
Bernie’s first published article presenting Filial Therapy to the world appeared in 1964. Many in the mental health fields initially scoffed at the idea of involving parents in the therapy process. However, Bernie was prescient, and way ahead of his time. Today, a meta-analysis of all play therapy modalities for which research existed at the time demonstrated that Filial Therapy is the single most effective form of play therapy. If that were Bernie’s only contribution to the field of psychotherapy, his legacy would be secure.
 
But Bernie did not stop there. On the basis of the early success of Filial Therapy, Bernie began to think about how to help improve the adult couple’s relationship. The underlying principle of both methods is that relationships could be improved by teaching concrete skills to help clients develop more functional and respectful patterns of communication and interaction in order to enhance the quality of their relationship(s). Relationship Enhancement Therapy, and the Relationship Enhancement Program, were born. The name “Relationship Enhancement” was a perfect choice for his approach as it embodied Bernie’s belief that any relationship could be improved at any point in time, regardless of its status and regardless of the nature of the issues involved. His groundbreaking work Relationship Enhancement: Skill Training Programs for Therapy, Problem Prevention, and Enrichment was published in 1977, and has been called, by Dr. Douglas Sprenkle, “a seminal and potentially revolutionary work … perhaps the best … integration of theory, research, and practice in the family intervention field.”
 
Central to both Filial Therapy and RE Therapy is the Rogerian heritage of the fundamental importance of empathy to the success of the therapeutic process. Bernie’s genius, and his signature advance over Carl Rogers’s own practice of therapy, was the insight that empathy need not be limited to a skill used by therapists with clients. Instead, Bernie initiated the further step of explicitly teaching the skill of empathy to clients, out of the further conviction that empathy is both a natural human endowment and a skill that can be developed and refined over time with supervised practice and regular use.
 
Bernie did not stop there either. Another part of his genius was to employ the insights of Learning Theory to develop a set of systematic guidelines and teaching strategies to significantly increase the odds that people would be able to learn and implement a whole range of relationship skills, including most importantly the skill of empathy. Over two dozen research studies have validated the effectiveness of RE therapy, including two studies which demonstrated that clients continued to make additional gains from post-test to follow-up, which is a fairly rare outcome in psychotherapy research. RE Therapy remains unique amongst various other therapy models by incorporating a systematic skills training approach as an intrinsic part of the couples and family therapy process.
 
Yet another of Bernie’s innovative, and ahead of his time contributions was his book Psychotherapeutic Agents: New Roles for Nonprofessionals, Parents and Teachers (1969), in which Bernie systematically laid out his vision and methods for involving non-mental health professionals in the delivery of skills-based educational programs. Bernie, along with others at the time, recognized there was no conceivable way that mental health professionals could meet all the mental health, relationship and systems needs of the American population. Bernie set out to meet those needs by advocating and explaining how more of the nation’s needs could be met by training and supervising lay educators who could reach larger groups of people. Bernie then implemented that approach himself with the Relationship Enhancement Program version of the RE model, where lay educators were trained and supervised to teach the RE skills in educational group settings. All told, Bernie’s contributions to psychology and the practice of psychotherapy represented a significant shift away from the traditional medical model that dominated the mental health professions in order to incorporate more of an educational approach to the practice of psychotherapy.
 
For some 25 years Bernie taught psychology, Filial Therapy, Relationship Enhancement Therapy and the RE Program at Pennsylvania State University. He also led training workshops around the country and around the world. He was an esteemed teacher and mentor for many professors, researchers, teachers and clinicians over his forty-year career. Bernie founded the National Institute of Relationship Enhancement® in Bethesda, MD to continue the advancement of his innovative therapeutic methods. Today, Guerney methods are widely used around the world in the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Korea, Taiwan, Turkey and, most prominently, in France through IFRE, the Institut Francophone de Relationship Enhancement, which itself has trained dozens of clinicians in that country.
 
A tribute to Bernie cannot end here. Bernie as a human being was one of the most empathetic, kind, generous and appreciative persons I have ever known. And he always had a warm smile to greet you. At the core Bernie modeled what he taught. Countless hundreds, probably thousands, of people have been blessed by Bernie's presence, wisdom and dedication as a spouse, parent and grandparent, teacher and mentor. To have met and known Bernie is to have been touched by him.
 
On a personal note, I have been incredibly fortunate, and will be forever indebted, to Bernie, with whom I have had the good fortune to be associated with personally and professionally for the past 25 years. As a new, second career mental health professional, I was introduced to Relationship Enhancement Therapy, Child-Centered Play Therapy and Filial Therapy virtually from the beginning, and those methods have shaped everything I do as a teacher and clinician. I have learned and use other therapy models, but RE Therapy is the bedrock and foundation that orients me in all my work. I also cannot thank Bernie enough for having confidence in me to carry on his work. Today, I am committed to preserving and furthering his legacy, because the world still needs and will continue to benefit from Bernie’s multi-faceted contributions.
 
Bernie, may you rest in peace.
 
Robert F. Scuka, Ph.D.
 
Executive Director
 
National Institute of Relationship Enhancement®
 
PS. When plans are made by the family, I will forward information about a memorial service.
 

 



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Fwd: True giant in the relationship and marriage education field passes away



---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) <julie@narme.org>
Date: Thu, Mar 21, 2019 at 9:02 PM
Subject: True giant in the relationship and marriage education field passes away
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>





True giant in the relationship and marriage education field, 
Dr. Lori Heyman Gordon passes away
The Board of NARME is sad to announce the death early this morning of one of the true giants in the relationship and marriage education field, Dr. Lori Heyman Gordon.  It appears she died peacefully in her sleep this morning at the age of 90.  

Dr. Gordon was one of the leading marriage education pioneers in the world. Many consider her the "mother" of the modern marriage education movement.  She was a relationship educator, workshop leader, trainer, author, consultant and psychotherapist.  She founded the Family Relations Institute, and the Center for Separation and Divorce Mediation in Falls Church, VA.  She is a former faculty member, Graduate School of Counseling Education, American University, Washington, DC.
 
In 1975, Dr. Gordon developed the first graduate level course on marriage and family at American University. She chose to build into the course everything that she had learned that was effective in helping couples achieve fulfilling relationships for themselves and their children and avoid relationship breakdown. She wanted this new marriage education program to be practical, clear, and experiential. 

As the author of PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills), and Co-Author of Adventures in Marriage, Dr. Gordon's work is one of the few marriage education programs in the country that has been through extensive research to verify its effectiveness in preparing, strengthening, and restoring healthy marriage relationships. Dr. Gordon's work incorporates lessons learned from other marriage education pioneers including Virginia Satir, George Bach, Daniel Casriel, Bernard Guerney, Murray Bowen, Clifford Sager, Ira Progoff, Nathanial Branden, Jean Houston, Ivan Boszormeny-Nagy, Gary Chapman, and many others.  
 
Dr. Gordon was the author of three popular books:  Love Knots, Passage To Intimacy, and If You Really Loved Me, and she appeared on numerous programs including The Today Show, Geraldo, CNN, CBS and NBC News, Miami News, National Public Radio, the Gordon Elliot Show, and others. Her work has been featured in Time, Newsweek, Cosmopolitan, New Woman and Psychology Today.  She was a Charter Member of the American Family Therapy Association, a member of the Cornell University Alumni Regional Class Counsel, and a member of the Virginia Satir International Human Learning Resource Network and AVANTA.  And she received the Smart Marriages Impact Award in 2002
 
Dr. Gordon was preceded in death by her beloved husband Morris in 2005, and is survived by her four children and many grandchildren.   
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Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME) |info@narme.org  | http://www.narme.org
P.O. Box 14946
Tallahassee, FL 32317



Copyright © 2019. All Rights Reserved.

Nat'l Assoc. for Relationship & Marriage Education (NARME), P.O. Box 14946, Tallahassee, FL 32317
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Fwd: Only a few seats left!



---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: The PREP Team <info@prepinc.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 22, 2019 at 1:20 PM
Subject: Only a few seats left!
To: <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


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The PREP Approach in Couple Therapy Master Class


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Learn how to effectively use PREP's practical, researched, and tested tools in couple therapy.
PREP Co-developer, Dr. Scott M. Stanley discusses popular couple therapy approaches and how the methods used in them are reflected in the PREP Approach. 

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This training is an opportunity to learn about using PREP strategies in therapy and counseling with couples. This is not a training in how to use PREP in workshop settings. 
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