The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Liz Swanson <lswanson@tangogroup.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 6, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Subject: an interview
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Hello Bill!

You did an interview with me over a year ago. Thank you again. I also met you at a conference but I am sure you have met many people.
I wanted to make sure you got this invitation. We sent it out to lots of people, but I have been looking over the list and there are a few of you I wanted to make sure got it. (Those of you who tend to be innovative.) Anyway, if you have any ideas, or know anyone you think might help you make a great app, read the following:

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships. You can take your ideas and create an app that will be available to use on iphones, ipads and Android phones.
 
The Challenge will take part in two rounds. There is an idea round followed by a production round, with up to $100,000 worth of prizes being given away including a top prize of $25,000. The Challenge has just begun. Get your ideas in early, so you can get feedback and revise them before the idea round's scheduled close on November 15, 2012.

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Liz Swanson <lswanson@tangogroup.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 6, 2012 at 6:02 PM
Subject: an interview
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


Hello Bill!

You did an interview with me over a year ago. Thank you again. I also met you at a conference but I am sure you have met many people.
I wanted to make sure you got this invitation. We sent it out to lots of people, but I have been looking over the list and there are a few of you I wanted to make sure got it. (Those of you who tend to be innovative.) Anyway, if you have any ideas, or know anyone you think might help you make a great app, read the following:

The Challenge is to build the best mobile app, one that will encourage healthy relationships. You can take your ideas and create an app that will be available to use on iphones, ipads and Android phones.
 
The Challenge will take part in two rounds. There is an idea round followed by a production round, with up to $100,000 worth of prizes being given away including a top prize of $25,000. The Challenge has just begun. Get your ideas in early, so you can get feedback and revise them before the idea round's scheduled close on November 15, 2012.

Five Minutes for Marriage

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Every Marriage Matters <everymarriagematters@comcast.net>
Date: Mon, Nov 5, 2012 at 3:05 PM
Subject: Five Minutes for Marriage: Great Resource on Extramarital Affairs
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Hi, just a reminder that you're receiving this email because you have expressed an interest in Every Marriage Matters. Don't forget to add everymarriagematters@comcast.net to your address book so we'll be sure to land in your inbox!
 
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Five Minutes for Marriage

November2012

Divorce is where two adults take everything that matters to a child - the child's home, family, security, and sense of being loved and protected - and they smash it all up, leave it in ruins on the floor, then walk out and leave the child to clean up the mess.  

 

Michael Reagan  

(adopted son of Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman) discussing his parents' divorce
In This Issue:
Bulletin Insert
Class List
Marriages on Cruise Control
Featured Video Clip
Marital Research
Cohabitation
Marriage Encouragement
Hurdles in Marriage
Resources to Pass Along
Marriage Preparation
Military Marriage
Parenting/Youth Ministry
Parting Words

 
 
The BULLETIN INSERT for November encourages couples to seek and give forgiveness as well as listing several marriage nurturing opportunities.

The CLASS LIST for  November offers many opportunities for couples desiring to encourage their relationship. Will you be offering classes/seminars that should be included here? We would like to add them.

Your prayers and financial help to strengthen marriage
are greatly appreciated 
 
Bob and Patty Chambers
Patty Chambers, Secretary/Treasurer for Every Marriage Matters, and husband Bob   
Blue
Like us on Facebook
 
Every Marriage Matters
1005 Woodlawn Ave
Oregon City, Oregon 97045
 

 

A RESOURCE  FOR COUNSELORS 

 

Help for Therapists and Their Clients in Dealing With Affairs Based on the responses from people whose spouses had affairs. By Peggy Vaughan, internationally recognized expert in the area of extramarital affairs. (Dear Peggy.com, Report Summary , or Free e-book )
MARRIAGES ON CRUISE CONTROL

Love Lessons From the Boomers As divorce rate soars for the over-50 set, some lessons for keeping a marriage intact, whatever age you are. (By Heidi Stevens, Imperial Valley (El Centro, CA) Press)

 

NOVEMBER FEATURED VIDEO

The Marriage of Your Dreams Book Trailer A delightfully humorous introduction to the book by Rick Johnson, local author and Executive Director of Better Dads

 

MARITAL RESEARCH

95 Social Science Reasons for Religious Worship and Practice U.S. federal data repeatedly make clear that the practice of religion is a great public and private good. (Pat Fagan, Marriage and Religion Research Institute)

What do couple relationships have to do with infant mental health and secure attachment? What is "attachment" and why does it matter? (The Tavistock Centere for Couple Relationships)

 

COHABITATION AND AFFAIRS 

  

Should You Be Shacking Up? Before moving in together, consider the pros and cons of living with your guy. (By Pamela Hanson, Woman's Health Magazine)

 

Couples and Infidelity Three basic patterns in the way couples reorganize themselves after an infidelity are identified. (Esther Perel (Author of Mating in Captivity), Council for Relationships)


       MARRIAGE ENCOURAGEMENT 

 

Christian Living: Getting Spouses on Board You have the opportunity to impact your marriage in a vastly positive way, but you have to do it. (Dave Ramsey, CrossWalk.com)

 

Date Night Explosion You're challenged to put Date Night back on the calendar. (First Things First, (Chattanooga))

 

How to Build a Strong Marriage in the Real World It's definitely realistic to build a strong marriage in the real world - and God will help you and your spouse do so when you rely on Him to empower you. (Whitney Hopler, Crosswalk.com)

 

HURDLES IN MARRIAGE  

  

Interracial and One in Christ Because of the gospel, our differences bring us together. (Trillia Newbell, Today's Christian Woman)

 

 

The Athlete Mixed Marriage John and I are an athlete mixed marriage. He is one - and how - and I'm not - at all. (Pamela Haag, Huffington Post blog)

         RESOURCES TO PASS ALONG 

 

Dads Should Lead on Thanksgiving With a little effort, dads can lead the way to recovering the original intent of the holiday. (Daniel Darling, CrossWalk.com)

 

                            Return to Top 

MARRIAGE PREPARATION

New reasons to say "I don't" Premarital doubts often result in early divorce. Before calling off any weddings, couples might simply try a little raw honesty. (By Kevin Charles Redmon, Pacific Standard Magazine)

 
Return to Top
 
MILITARY MARRIAGE 

 

Ralph Lynn Remarried His Best Friend Though I may always stumble, I have the courage of a soldier to ask for any help I may need to better myself, my life, my marriage and my family. (By Fatherhood Channel) 


PARENTING / YOUTH MINISTRY  

    

Remarriage, the second divorce and the relationship tangle The good of the children is not always uppermost in the minds of adults contemplating remarriage; it really should be. (Carolyn Moynihan, Mercator.net) 

 

Sexting Linked to Increased Sexual Activity in Teens Of the teens who used cellphones, fifteen percent reported sexting -- sending and receiving sexually explicit text messages. (By Julielynn Wong, M.D., ABC News Medical Unit)

 

Teen oral sex rates reflect a 'hierarchical reordering' Two-thirds of teens and young adults have had oral sex -- about as many as have had vaginal intercourse. (By Karen Weintraub, USA Today)


PARTING WORDS

  

Confessions of a Young Widow: The Little Things I Miss About Being Married Look for the good in your spouse-you cannot expect perfection, no matter who you are married to. (by Sabrina Beasley, FamilyLife) 

 

The Truth About Love David and Teresa Ferguson found that the heart of a marriage lies in the heart of the gospel. (Caryn D. Rivadeneira,  Today's Christian Woman)

 

Wisdom from e-Mail If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she'll never turn into an old nag.

 

You are awesome!

It's great to be on His team together.

 

Respectfully,

 

Tom Dressel
Every Marriage Matters |
1005 Woodlawn Ave | 1005 Woodlawn Ave | Oregon City | OR | 97045

Week of November 2nd Insights for Intimacy

From: National Institute of Marriage [mailto:enews=nationalmarriage.com@mail70.us2.mcsv.net] On Behalf Of National Institute of Marriage
Sent: Friday, November 02, 2012 11:03 AM
To: billandpatcoffin@verizon.net
Subject: Week of November 2nd Insights for Intimacy

Insights for Intimacy are a weekly insight to help you on your marriage journey.

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Weekly Insight for Intimacy

In a heart talk, are you a listener or a speaker in waiting?  As a “speaker in waiting” your focus is more on a rebuttal than on your spouse’s feelings.  If you want to be an effective listener, think about what makes a great listener.  Empathy is often cited as a key listening skill.  To do this, it will require you to suspend your agenda until it is time for you to be the speaker.  Next, begin to imagine what it might feel like to be your spouse given the topic at hand.  Lastly, you have a chance to summarize and validate.

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Copyright © *2012* *National Institute of Marriage*, All rights reserved.

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Google Alert - "healthy marriage"

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Google Alerts <googlealerts-noreply@google.com>
Date: Thu, Nov 1, 2012 at 6:15 PM
Subject: Google Alert - "healthy marriage"
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


News 1 new result for "healthy marriage"
 
Marriage and the New York Times' Fear of Democracy
National Review Online
Because it uniquely fosters children's development, a healthy marriage culture is in the state's interest. But once the state gets involved, ...

Tip: Use a minus sign (-) in front of terms in your query that you want to exclude. Learn more.

Delete this alert.
Create another alert.
Manage your alerts.

Resilience

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Smart Relationships <info@smartrelationships.org>
Date: Thu, Nov 1, 2012 at 3:34 PM
Subject: Resilience
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


You are receiving this email because you provided your email address to thinkmarriage.org or Smart Relationships (same people, new name). If you don't want to be on our list, please unsubscribe by going to the bottom of the email. Please don't mark us as spam. We can be prevented from sending any emails to the subscribers who want to hear from us.
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Resilience can be defined as the ability to bounce back from stress and hardship. According to Viktor Frankl, it was a key to surviving in the terrible death camps of the Nazis.

In his book, Man's Search for Meaning, he wrote, 

"Sensitive people who were used to a rich
intellectual life may have suffered much pain
(they were often of a delicate constitution), but the damage
to their inner selves was less. They were able to retreat from
their terrible surroundings to a life of inner riches and
spiritual freedom. Only in this way can one explain the
apparent paradox that some prisoners of a less hardy make­
up often seemed to survive camp life better than did those
of a robust nature."

Even in less dire circumstances, resilience is one aspect of emotional intelligence that supports success and happiness.

 


 
Part of resilience is the ability to keep your problems in perspective.

Did you know that the brain clusters memory by emotions? When you're sad, all you can remember is other sad memories. When you're angry, other angry memories. When you're happy, other happy memories. This explains why arguments can so easily descend into a long list of past offenses.

Teach your children and teens this concept. Let them know that when it seems like the end of the world, it's only the brain being unable to access memories from a different emotional state. If they wait a while and keep perspective, they will bounce back into a happier place again.
Paradox #1 from our upcoming eBook, "Journey through Paradox". Coming soon!
Factors that foster resilience include:
  • Relationships that offer care, support, and encouragement
  • Relationships that create love and trust
  • Self-confidence
  • Positive self image
  • Communication skills
  • The ability to manage strong feelings and impulses

 
This is the essence of resilience.
Our mailing address is:
1496 Bellevue Street, Suite 502, Green Bay, WI 54311
Copyright © 2012 | Smart Relationships
All rights reserved.

Don't Redefine Marriage. Vote AGAINST Question 6.

From: Maryland Catholic Conference [mailto:kdempsey@mdcathcon.org]
Sent: Thursday, November 01, 2012 2:22 PM
To: Patricia Coffin
Subject: Don't Redefine Marriage. Vote AGAINST Question 6.

Don't Redefine Marriage. Vote AGAINST Question 6.

More Info

 

To View Alert on Our Webpage, Click Here

November 6, Election Day, is only a few days away.

Due to Hurricane Sandy, Governor O'Malley has extended early voting for Marylanders.  You may now vote early today (November 1) and tomorrow (November 2) from 8:00 am - 9:00 pm. For more details, visit the State Board of Elections.

To the hundreds if not thousands of you who have volunteered to uphold marriage and defeat Question 6 - getting signatures during the petition drive, making phone calls at a phone bank or signing up to work at a poll on Election Day - thank you.

To all: Please don't redefine marriage.  Vote AGAINST Question 6. Why?

It is not necessary to redefine marriage in order to provide rights and benefits to other couples.  Many of the rights and benefits sought by those who want to redefine marriage are already available to domestic partners in Maryland, such as:

  • Hospital visitation
  • Health care decision making
  • Exemption from state inheritance taxes and from recordation taxes
  • Health insurance coverage and life insurance coverage
  • End-of-life decisions
  • Organ donation priority
  • Nursing home room sharing
  • Funeral arrangements
  • Government employee health benefits
  • And more

If is not discrimination to believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman.  We all know and love family members, friends and colleagues who are gay, but reserving marriage for one man and one woman recognizes the uniqueness of that relationship above all other relationships.

Marriage between one man and one woman has been recognized by both government and religion throughout time and across cultures because it is the only relationship capable of bringing children into the world and providing them with the love of a mother and a father.

Don't be fooled into thinking we can redefine marriage and protect religious freedom.  We've seen it too many times already - if marriage is redefined, churches, religiously affiliated institutions, private businesses and individuals will be exposed to lawsuits and harassment just for expressing their religious beliefs about marriage.

And don't take the Question 6 ballot language at face value. What the new law redefining marriage pretends to offer as religious protections, it then takes away in language that has not been included in what you will read at the polls.

According to the actual legislation, religious organizations that accept state or federal funds are excluded from certain religious liberty protections if they partner with the government to provide services to the community.

For more information and to view videos against redefining marriage, please visit our marriage page.

Again, thank you for all you have done and for your prayers.  Please get out and vote Tuesday - and vote AGAINST Question 6.

**********

Stay connected: Follow the MCC on Twitter or LIKE us on Facebook.

To ensure that you continue to receive alerts, please add kdempsey@mdcathcon.org to your approved senders' list.

 If you no longer wish to receive mail from us, please click here.

The Maryland Catholic Conference
10 Francis Street, Annapolis, MD 21401
410.269.1155 / 301.261.1979
410.269.1790 (fax)
info@mdcathcon.org

Job Opening: Utah TANF Director

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Melanie Reese <MREESE@utah.gov>
Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Subject: Job Opening: Utah TANF Director
To: Melanie Reese <MREESE@utah.gov>


Our state TANF program manager is retiring in December.  The position is open.  Please share with your networks or those who might be interested.
 
Here's the announcement:
 

National Center for Family & Marriage Research News and Notes - October 2012

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: National Center for Family & Marriage Research <ncfmr@bgsu.edu>
Date: Wed, Oct 31, 2012 at 11:26 AM
Subject: News and Notes - October 2012
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Twitter Logo
NCFMR Logo
Twitter Logo
News and Notes

October 2012 

Twitter Logo Facebook Logo  

Welcome

 

The National Center for Family & Marriage Research (NCFMR), established in 2007 at Bowling Green State University (BGSU), welcomes you to our monthly electronic newsletter News and Notes. 

 

News and Notes aims to inform you about the activities of the NCFMR. We will update you on current research findings, announce research opportunities, and provide registration details for upcoming conferences and workshops.

Women's Employment Rates Highest
Among the Divorced

 

Over half (53%) of women in the U.S. are currently employed. Rates differ only slightly by marital status. Divorced women have the highest percentage employed at 61% followed closely by currently married and never married women at 57% and 56%, respectively. Only 17% of widowed women are employed.

 

 

Employment Rate for Women Aged 16 and Older
by Marital Status, 2010
Bar Graph
Source: U.S. Census Bureau, American Community Survey,
1-Year Estimates, 2010.

 

What's New at the NCFMR...
 

Family Profiles

Original reports summarizing and analyzing nationally representative data with the goal to provide the latest analysis of U.S. families.  

  

Working Paper Series
    

A series of working papers written by faculty affiliates, researchers, and advanced graduate students examining family structure topics of interest to family scholars, policy makers, and practitioners.  

  • Brian Powell, Lala Carr Steelman, and Oren Pizmony-Levy
  • J. Bart Stykes, Wendy D. Manning, and Susan L. Brown
  • Amanda Geller and Irwin Garfinkel
  • Laura Tach

    •  


    NCFMR in the News
    For a full list of NCFMR in the News items and for media links to each item, visit the NCFMR in the News webpage.

    • Unmarried Boomers More Vulnerable
  • Divorce in Later Life
  • Same-Sex Household Dynamics Sarah Burgoyne

    • Just Released
    • Census Bureau 2009-2011 American Community Survey Estimates 
  • National Health Statistics Reports
  • National Vital Statistics Reports
  • Princeton-Brookings Future of Children 2012 Fall Journal 
  • RAND Report on Military Deployments and Divorce
  • The Society for Research in Child Development (SRCD)

    • Upcoming Events 

     

     

    November 2012 

     

    Theory Construction and Research Methodology (TCRM) Workshop

    Dates: November 1-2

    Link to NCFR 

     

    Call for Proposals -- The Foundation for Child Development: Changing Faces of America's Children Young Scholars Program

    Date Due: November 1

    Link to Foundation for Child Development 

     

    Call for Papers -- The Journals of Gerontology, Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences
    Widows and Bereavement
    Date Due: November 1
    Call for Abstracts -- Centre for Research on Families and Relationships (CRFR)
    Innovations in Methods, Theory and Policy Relevance
    Due Date: November 2

    Eighth Biennial Meeting -- Society for the Study of Human Development     (SSHD)
    Rethinking Developmental Science Across the Lifespan/Life Course: Theory, Methods, and Applications
    Dates: November 3-5
    Call for Proposals -- Annual Welfare Research and Evaluation Conference

    Date Due: November 9

    Link to WREC 2013 

     

    Postdoctoral Fellowships -- Harvard Center for Population Studies

    Date Due: November 30 

    • The David E. Bell Fellowship
  • The Mortimer Spiegelman Postdoctoral Fellowship in Demographic Studies

    • Call for Proposals -- Groves Conference for Marriage and Families, 2013

    "And Justice for All," Families and the Criminal Justice System

    Date Due: November 30

    Link to NCFR 

     

     

    December 2012

     

    Call for Papers -- Special Issue of Family Relations

    Families and Disabilities

    Date Due: December 14

    Link to NCFR 

     

    Request for Proposals -- The Stanford Center on Poverty and Inequality (CPI)

    Poverty, Inequality, & Mobility Among Hispanics

    Date Due: December 15 

    Link to CPI 

     

    Call for Submissions -- NCFR Report

    Families and Spirituality

    Date Due: December 21

     

     

    January 2013

     

    Call for Papers -- American Sociological Association (ASA) 

    2013 Interrogating Inequality: Linking Micro and Macro

    Date Due: January 9

    Link to ASA 

     

    Call for Papers -- Contemporary Perspectives in Family Research

    Visions of the 21st Century Family: Transforming Structures and Identities

    Date Due: January 10 

    Direct questions to the editors at...

    pnclaster@edinboro.edu 

    slblair@buffalo.edu  

     

    Call for Applications -- Population Council 

    Fred H. Bixby Fellowships 

    Date Due: January 31

    Link to Population Council 

     

     

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    NCFMR Team

     

    Co-Directors

    Dr. Susan Brown

    Dr. Wendy Manning

     

    Social Science Data Analysts

    Dr. Krista Payne

    Hsueh-Sheng Wu 

     

    Technical Writer

    Lesley Wadsworth

     

    Graduate Research Assistants

    Julissa Cruz  

    Larry Gibbs

     

    Undergraduate Students

    Seth Williams 

    Breana Wilson

     

    National Advisory Committee

     

    Internal Advisory Committee

     

    BGSU Research Affiliates

    What is the best way to apologize?

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------
    From: Carolyn Rich Curtis <info@skills4us.org>
    Date: Tue, Oct 30, 2012 at 11:33 AM
    Subject: What is the best way to apologize?
    To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


    Having trouble viewing this email? Click here
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    Learn how to apologize

    Apologizing is one of the key skills necessary for a successful relationship. We all make mistakes and need to get our relationship "back on track."   Knowing how to apologize in a way that is successful will make a difference in your relationship.  Take a look at "The Five Languages of Apology" developed by Gary Chapman.  Then talk with your partner to discover what works for them.  We wish you a great conversation and relationship.     -Carolyn

    Apology Language #1

    Expressing Regret:
    "I am sorry"

    List the hurtful effects of your action.  Show remorse.  It doesn't count if you are only sorry that you got caught.  Not "I am sorry if...", but "I am sorry that..."   

    Apology Language #2

    Accepting Responsibility:
    "I was wrong"

    Name your mistake and accept fault.  Note that it is easier to say "You are right" than "I am wrong", but the latter carries more weight.

    Apology Language #3

    Restitution- Making Amends:
    "What can I do to make it right?"

    How are they now?  Is any debt owed or repayment due? How shall I make amends to you?  How can I restore your confidence that I love you- even though I was hurtful to you?

    Apology Language #4

    Repentance:
    "I'll try not to do that again"

    Repentance- literally means turning around 180 degrees. Engage in problem solving.  Don't make excuses for yourself. Instead, offer what you will change.

    Apology Language #5

    Requesting Forgiveness:
    "Will you please forgive me?"

    Be patient in seeking forgiveness and reconciliation. Your apology may not be accepted, but you will know that you have offered a sincere olive branch of peace.
    These apology languages should help us bravely list all that we have done wrong, show our concern for them, and explain what will truly be different next time. In order to give the most successful apologies, ask your partner what he or she likes to hear in an apology and you will be able to give targeted apologies.
    Stay Connected
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