Tip of the Week: September 24, 2012

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Council for Relationships <hsiegel@councilforrelationships.org>
Date: Mon, Sep 24, 2012 at 1:01 PM
Subject: Tip of the Week: September 24, 2012
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Council for Relationships
Helping People Live Their Best Lives
Tip of the Week: To Do or Not To Do

                                                      

 

"Non-doing has nothing to do with being indolent or passive. Quite the contrary. It takes great courage and energy to cultivate non-doing, both in stillness and in activity" - Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

We humans are problem-solving creatures, capable of sorting through complex problems. We have survived as a species, in part, because of our ability to make quick appraisals of situations and to identify courses of action most likely to lead to positive or desirable outcomes.

 

For our ancestors, quick thinking and reacting frequently made the difference between life and death.  In our time, we still face situations when our immediate assessment and response help prevent or minimize negative results. Because of it, when difficulties arise in our relationships, we frequently feel compelled to jump into action.  Problem-solving is a most useful and necessary skill, but it is not always what is called for in response to all our interactions with others. 

 

When faced with challenges in our relationships, we may feel inclined to "fix" problems right away. But, while taking charge of an issue may initially help us feel more in control, it can also prevent us from getting in touch with our real feelings and needs. Also, our jumping into problem-solving without acknowledging the feelings and needs of others, may leave them feeling frustrated and unheard, even if we are trying to make thoughtful and constructive suggestions.

  

Click here to read more. 

 

 

  

 Pilar Poal, PhD is a licensed psychologist and Senior Staff Therapist in CFR's Paoli & Exton offices. She can be reached at 610-594-9808 ext. 6.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Interesting Blog Post of the Week:
Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?
 

 

Can men and women just be friends? Maybe not, according to a study from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire. Researchers found that attraction is common between people in opposite-sex friendships, and these feelings can cause problems, especially if one of the "friends" is in a romantic relationship with someone else.

 

When participants were asked to list pluses and minuses of having opposite-sex friends, 32 percent said feelings of attraction were a drawback, while 6 percent said these feelings were a benefit.

 

Forty-seven percent of the women ages 18 to 23 listed attraction as a negative attribute of an opposite-sex friendship, while 22 percent of men felt the same.

 

 

 To read more about this click through to our blog  

 

 

 

CFR Video of the Week: Raymond McDevitt

Parenting: Taking Vacations Without the Kids

Raymond McDevitt, MSS, LCSW talks to 6 ABC's Amy Buckman to help her answer the question, "Can vacationing without your children actually make you a better parent"
 
 

  

 

 

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Thank you for signing up for Council for Relationships' Tip Of The Week. We hope you enjoy the thoughts and advice of our expert therapists. 

 

 

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Council For Relationships
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Philadelphia, PA  19104
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Council for Relationships
Irina Baranov
Director of Communications
Council for Relationships
Hilary Siegel
Marketing Associate
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It's Time to Celebrate! | FTF eNews September Vol. 2

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: First Things First <ftf@firstthings.org>
Date: Fri, Sep 21, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Subject: It's Time to Celebrate! | FTF eNews September Vol. 2
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


First Things First eNews
  September 2012    Volume 2              

*************
FTF Classes


 Secrets to Lasting Love*   

Reconnect and breathe life back into your marriage.

 

October 6

(Saturday)

9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. 

GraceBridge
Church of Christ
6224 Airpark Drive
Chattanooga, TN 37421

Click here to register 

 

Dinner or Lunch provided by First Things First

 

Visit firstthings.org for additional classes

 

*************

  

A class for new and expectant fathers

 

October 20 

(Saturday)

9:00 a.m. to Noon

Erlanger Women's East

1751 Gunbarrel Road

Chattanooga, TN 37421

 

 

* Funding for this project was

provided by the US Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children

and Families, Grant: 90FM0048. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or

recommendations expressed in

this material are those of the

author(s) and do not

necessarily reflect the views of

the US Department of Health

and Human Services,

Administration for Children

and Families   

Save The Dates!
 
15TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION WI
TH  
SEAN ASTIN
September 25

PREMIERE OF THE MOVIE "UNCONDITIONAL"

September 21

FAMILIES ON THE RUN
December 1
Find us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter


  15th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION

It's Time to Celebrate!


There's still time to purchase tickets for our 15th Anniversary Celebration at the Chattanooga Convention Center on Tuesday, September 25.  We welcome Academy Award nominee Sean Astin, a passionate advocate for strong marriages and families.  Come join the celebration!!

 Reserve your spot today by contacting
Alishea Hixson at 423.267.5383.


 Thank you for supporting the work of FTF.
We look forward to see you on September 25!  


***********************************
COMING SOON!  
FTF unveils our brand new website designed with YOU in mind. Stay tuned for details! 

***********************************
Expect the unexpected . . .

This compelling film (inspired by true events) depicts the power of unconditional love and renewed friendship found in the most unlikely of places.  Make plans now to see Unconditional, premiering in theaters TODAY.

Click the link below to see the trailer.

Unconditional Theatrical Trailer
"Unconditional" Theatrical Trailer

 Adventures in Dating

A Class for Teens

Help your teenager get the facts about healthy relationships with FTF's Adventures in Dating seminar. This FREE event takes place on Tuesday, October 9 during Fall Break and offers teens 14-18 an adventurous day of games, activities and life lessons about:
  • Healthy dating
  • Drama-free relationships
  • How to break up
  • How to resolve conflict
  • And much more!
October 9 (Tuesday)
 Greenway Farms
9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
5051 Gann Store Road
Chattanooga, TN  37343

Secret Keeper Girl
The Secret is Out!
It's official! Secret Keeper Girl Live! returns to the Chattanooga Convention Center on Saturday, January 26, 2013.  This event sold out last year, so don't miss your chance to see this great production for mothers and daughters ages 8-13.

Tickets are available online at firstthings.org.


  

620 Lindsay Street
Suite 100

Chattanooga, TN 37403
423.267.5383
firstthings.org
  

This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by ftf@firstthings.org |  
First Things First |
620 Lindsay Street | Suite 100 | Chattanooga | TN | 37403

News from The National Partnership for Community

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The National Partnership for Community <mpatersonnpcl@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Sep 20, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Subject: News from The National Partnership for Community
To: bill@narme.org


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The National Partnership for Community Leadership

 Congressional Black Caucus Foundation Inc.

 

Presents

 

The State of Fatherhood: Current and Future Direction 

"Where Do We Go From Here?"

 

A CBCF Issue Forum hosted by The Omega Psi Phi Fraternity and CBC Members

         Hon. James Clyburn, III     Hon. Henry "Hank" Johnson, Jr.

 

Friday, September 21, 2012

10:00AM - 12:00PM

Washington Convention Center

Room 202B

 

 

This event is free and open to the public. No Registration required

 

Invited White House Representative to give remarks on President Obama's Fatherhood and Mentoring Initiative

 

Panelist

Eugene Schneeberg, Director of Faith Based Partnerships US Department of Justice

S. Earl Wilson Co-Chair, Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Fatherhood and Mentoring Initiative

Dr. Jeffery Johnson, President and CEO, National Partnership for Community Leadership

Ms Vicki Turetsky - US Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement

Ray Singleton - NYC Office of Child Support

Moderated By Thabiti Boone, Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, International Representative

Fatherhood and Mentoring Initiative, White House Partnerships

 

Remarks from the Grand Basileus Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Dr Andrew Ray

 

The Fraternity is making significant inroads in taking an active leadership role in highlighting and working issues related to fatherhood and mentoring. This effort is showing up through involvement on the ground in the local communities and in legislative circles addressing policy change. We want to work towards building a bridge to supporting partnership

relationships in the community.


The National Partnership for Community
2728 Sherman Ave NW
Washington DC, District of Columbia 20001

This email was sent to bill@narme.org by mpatersonnpcl@gmail.com |  
The National Partnership for Community |
2728 Sherman Ave NW | Washington DC | DC | 20001

Inspirations and Tips

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Smart Relationships <info@smartrelationships.org>
Date: Wed, Sep 19, 2012 at 12:08 PM
Subject: Inspirations and Tips
To: Bill <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


You are receiving this email because you provided your email address to thinkmarriage.org or Smart Relationships (same people, new name). If you don't want to be on our list, please unsubscribe by going to the bottom of the email. Please don't mark us as spam. We can be prevented from sending any emails to the subscribers who want to hear from us.
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Part of being a good partner is learning how to repair relationship damage. Sometimes an apology is necessary, but did you know there are different ways of perceiving an apology? 

Dr. Jennifer Thomas, co-author of The 5 Languages of Apology with Dr. Gary Chapman, wrote a guest blog for our 'Couple Builder' series.

Couple Builder: Learn How to Apologize

Does your spouse rarely hear you apologize?  Your apologies may be long overdue.  Here is why: we have a natural tendency to gloss over what we have done wrong.  Perhaps we hope that...

Continue to article



Learning to love is a lifetime journey. It's so tempting to insist that the other person become just like us. But the thrill of attraction depends on the uniqueness of each of us.
The biggest obstacle to repairing a relationship is inside us. It's the struggle to let go of our own ego. Whenever we choose being right over being connected and close, both partners suffer.

 

The second obstacle to repairing a relationship is also inside us. What do you do when your mate sincerely apologizes? Letting go of those strong emotions can also be a battle with the ego.

 

There's still time to sign up for our e-Course, beginning Oct. 1st!

Click to learn more about this on-line workshop for building and sustaining healthy relationships.

Our mailing address is:
1496 Bellevue Street, Suite 502, Green Bay, WI 54311
Copyright © 2012 | Smart Relationships
All rights reserved.

The Jesuit Collaborative September E-news

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The Jesuit Collaborative <rcunningham@jesuitcollaborative.org>
Date: Fri, Sep 14, 2012 at 9:10 AM
Subject: September E-news
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


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Jesuit Collaborative logo


September E-news
  
 

  Podcasts from Loyola Conference
Loyola Conf keynotes

The keynote podcasts have been posted from Finding God in Unsettled Times Conference


 

Ignatian Examen YouTube Talk and Podcast

Fr. Jim Martin's talk on the Examen is now available on YouTube. 
 

You can also download a podcast of Fr. Martin leading the Examen
Download Podcast

 

Ignatian Family Retreat 
in Richmond, VA
 

 An Ignatian Family Retreat was run in Spanish at Sacred Heart Parish in Richmond, Virginia, during the evenings of August 9-11.

 

Tri-Province celebration of Vow Day 
vow day
  The Jesuit Collaborative rejoices with three
Jesuits who recently professed first vows in the Society

Pictures from Vow Day

 

In This Issue
Keynote Podcasts
Examen on YouTube
Ignatian Family Retreat
Vow Day

300 Newbury St, Boston 02115

The Jesuit Collaborative |
300 Newbury Street | Boston | MA | 02115

Culture Watch: What’s Driving High Poverty Numbers?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The Heritage Foundation <newsletters@heritage.org>
Date: Thu, Sep 13, 2012 at 5:13 PM
Subject: Culture Watch: What’s Driving High Poverty Numbers?
To: Bill Coffin <billcoffin68@gmail.com>


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Culture Watch: Weekly Round-Up on Family, Religion and Civil Society
September 13, 2012

What’s Driving High Poverty Numbers?
by Rachel Sheffield, Research Associate
Richard and Helen DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society 

Yesterday the U.S. Census Bureau released its annual poverty numbers. It reports that 46.2 million Americans remain poor; the figure was unchanged from last year. The percentage of Americans who were poor remained at a near-record 15 percent.

What we are sure to hear now is a cry from big-government advocates for increased government welfare spending. 

But record poverty is not the result of insufficient welfare spending. Last year, the government spent $927 billion on means-tested welfare aid, which breaks down to about $9,000 per lower-income person in the United States. The Census Bureau counts only about 3 percent of this as income when calculating poverty. This flawed measure is a crucial reason why poverty in the U.S. looks very different from the vision most people have of it.


A more accurate way to think of the official Census poverty measure is a report of “self-sufficiency”: the ability of Americans to sustain an income above poverty without reliance on welfare. The U.S. has record-high poverty (or rather, lack of self-sufficiency) in the short term because of bad policies that have damaged the economy and failed to create jobs. In the long term, the lack of self-sufficiency has been caused by a massive welfare state that discourages work and penalizes marriage.

Welfare policies that support work have a track record of success. The welfare reform of 1996 inserted work requirements for able-bodied individuals into the largest cash-assistance government welfare program. As a result, stagnant welfare rolls began to decline and employment increased.

However, the majority of the roughly 80 welfare programs funded by the government fail to include any type of work requirement. And in July, the Obama Administration issued a directive to gut the 1996 reform law of its work requirement. Taking work out of the equation is in direct contrast to what is necessary to assist those in need. Work requirements should be restored and expanded to other government welfare programs. Food stamps, one of the largest, would be a good place to start.

Marriage is the nation’s greatest weapon against child poverty. As new data reveal, children born to single mothers are nearly six times as likely to be poor than their peers born to married parents. Today’s historically high rate of unwed childbearing—over 40 percent—does not bode well for the economic or overall well-being of children, families, and, ultimately, the nation.

The majority of unwed births in the U.S. are not to teens, as generally thought, but to women in their 20s, and it is a result of the breakdown of marriage in lower-income communities. Tragically, the critical facts about the importance of marriage are rarely if ever communicated to youth at risk for future non-marital births. Most welfare programs, in fact, include marriage penalties. If policies continue to take an indifferent or hostile approach to marriage, high levels of child poverty are bound to continue.

More Americans in poverty—or rather, struggling to attain self-sufficiency—is not good news. Yet if we want to truly improve their lives, rather than ignoring the causes of poverty, policies should address them. Promoting work and healthy marriages are the most important steps in combating poverty and helping the nation’s families to achieve self-sufficiency.

What is your take on the solutions to poverty? Raise your voice and interact with other readers on our blog >>

Share This


 
Heritage Foundation
DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society at The Heritage Foundation
Founded in 1973, The Heritage Foundation is the nation's most broadly supported public policy organization. Heritage established the DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society in 2004 to educate government officials, the media and the public about the role religion, family, and civil society play in sustaining freedom and the common good.

The Heritage Foundation | 214 Massachusetts Ave NE, Washington, DC 20002 | 202.546.4400 | heritage.org


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Healing Requires Forgiveness

From: MarriageVine Ministries [mailto:rick@marriagevine.ccsend.com] On Behalf Of MarriageVine Ministries
Sent: Monday, September 10, 2012 11:15 AM
To: billandpatcoffin@verizon.net
Subject: Healing Requires Forgiveness

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You may unsubscribe if you no longer wish to receive our emails.

Marriage Focus by MarriageVine

 

Hurting Marriages Need Forgiveness 

by Dr. Gary Chapman

 

 

Hope for the SeparatedPast failures need not destroy your hope for a better future. If you choose, you can take steps that may well restore your marriage to health. It all begins with forgiving the past.

All of us have failures in the past. We can let them stand as barriers to our future, or we can forgive them and build a new and deeper relationship. As long as we keep bringing up the past, we will be forever bogged down in frustration.

The past cannot be undone. It can only be forgiven.

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice to lift the penalty and let the other person back into your life. It opens up the possibility to building something different in the future.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. The memories may return, but when they do, we take them to God and pray this prayer. "Father, You know what I'm remembering, but I thank you that it is history. Now help me to do something positive today."

Forgiving is the first step toward a growing marriage.  

Today's article is based on the book, Hope for the Separated.   For a complete listing of Dr. Chapman's books and resources, click here.

Dying in the Small Stuff 

by David and Lisa Frisbie 

The Soul Mate Marriage


Dying to self is a thousand little choices we make every day. 

 

It is thinking about someone else as you rise and begin your morning. 

 

It is praying for someone throughout the day instead of wondering  whether anyone is praying about you and remembering your challenges. 

 

It is coming home tired from work, but choosing to serve and comfort someone else who is also tired instead of putting your feet up and waiting for a foot massage.

 

Dying to self is about forgetting all those arguments over "whose turn it is."

 

It is changing the diaper or getting up for the feeding, or even carrying out the trash or putting away the dishes.  It's a lot of little choices we make when all we want to do is sit down and relax, maybe read the paper, or maybe watch some television.

 

Dying to self is like that - it is daily, and it's about the small stuff. 

 

 

 


Content taken from Soul-Mate Marriage: The Spiritual Journey of Becoming One by David and Lisa Frisbie, published by Harvest House Publishing. 

Click here to see past emails.

Follow us on Twitter. 

 

 

 

MarriageVine Ministries | 14670 S. Harrison Street | Suite 200 | Olathe | KS | 66061

15 Years of Strengthening Families | FTF eNews September Vol. 1

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: First Things First <ftf@firstthings.org>
Date: Mon, Sep 10, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Subject: 15 Years of Strengthening Families | FTF eNews September Vol. 1
To: billcoffin68@gmail.com


First Things First eNews
  September 2012    Volume 1             

*************
FTF Classes


 Parenting
in the Digital Age*
   

If you're the parent of a tween of teen, this class is for you!     

 

September 15 & 22   

(Saturdays)

9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.  

Tyner Academy
6837 Tyner Road
Chattanooga, TN 37421
 

Click here to register 

 

Dinner or Lunch provided by First Things First

 

Visit firstthings.org for additional classes

 

*************

  

A class for new and expectant fathers

 

September 15

(Saturday)

9:00 a.m. to Noon

Erlanger Women's East

1751 Gunbarrel Road

Chattanooga, TN 37421

 

 

* Funding for this project was

provided by the US Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children

and Families, Grant: 90FM0048. Any opinions, findings, and conclusions or

recommendations expressed in

this material are those of the

author(s) and do not

necessarily reflect the views of

the US Department of Health

and Human Services,

Administration for Children

and Families   

Save The Dates!
 
15TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION WI
TH  
SEAN ASTIN
September 25

PREMIERE OF THE MOVIE "UNCONDITIONAL"

September 21

FAMILIES ON THE RUN
December 1
Find us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter


  15th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION
15 Years of
Strengthening Families


In 1997, First Things First began its journey toward helping people in our community to have strong, healthy marriages and families.  On Tuesday, September 25, we invite you to join us as we celebrate our 15th Anniversary at the Chattanooga Convention Center at 6:00 p.m.  We welcome Academy Award nominee Sean Astin as our special guest speaker.  As an advocate for strong families, he has much to share about staying connected to his wife and three daughters while managing a Hollywood career. 

 To purchase tickets or a table of eight,
contact Alishea Hixson at 423.267.5383.

 See you on September 25!  

***********************************
COMING SOON!  
FTF unveils our brand new website designed with YOU in mind. Stay tuned for details! 

***********************************
Middle & High School Newsletters
Introducing On The Edge
& iRepresent
Do you know what topics matter most to your tween or teen?  FTF can help you stay connected with two great online newsletters, On the Edge and iRepresent. On the Edge is for middle schoolers and offers practical advice on topics like friendships, social media, bullying and avoiding risky behavior.  iRepresent is designed for high school students and features articles on self-discovery, preparing for college, dating relationship tips and much more.  Both newsletters are offered through area middle and high schools or online at firstthings.org.  

A Film for the Whole Family

Make plans now to see Unconditional, premiering in theatres on September 21. This amazing film stars Lynn Collins (John Carter, X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and Michael Ealy (Barber Shop, Think Like a Man) in this moving story of renewed friendship and faith.

Click the link below to see the trailer.

Unconditional Theatrical Trailer
"Unconditional" Theatrical Trailer


  

620 Lindsay Street
Suite 100

Chattanooga, TN 37403
423.267.5383
firstthings.org
  

This email was sent to billcoffin68@gmail.com by ftf@firstthings.org |  
First Things First |
620 Lindsay Street | Suite 100 | Chattanooga | TN | 37403